Dec 19, 2020
🤡
vent post sorry //
#sometimes i wanna scream at how lonely i am#and i know its my own doing because i’m used to being alone#like am i an introvert?#i think i’m having a breakdown lol#idk if im just having a pity party#i’ve just been so fucking unmotivated#and smokeing so much weed hasnt helped#nor has my hyperfixation on fuckin jjba of all things#didnt get the internship i wanted which sucks#i mean i had to put my application together last minute so it probably wasnt good enough#but i’m real kinda humbled now#and my teacher’s critique on my writing and im remembering past criticism and blub#this is just a vent post now lol#anyway i’m insecure about a lot of shit and anxious#i have no idea anymore if i’m *normal* bizarre* or *or just pretentious lol#of course the other secret option is that i’m a failure which i didnt even want to type#i also feel like guilt now about writing fanfiction and i compare myself to others and then worry that i’m already waaay too obsessed?#addicted?#and even more guilt about not reading enough while also reading most of the day#i know i’ve been neglecting my spiritual life which isnt fun#and lastly i guess...jjba makes me want to have a better relationship with my extended family which never happened before#and also being closer with my mom has helped too#i struggled to connect with them i always felt like a outsider#and silently judged and i was so angry about injustice and im not very close to most of them#of course i decide that and then there will be no family get togethers this year#long post#(probably sorry)
