#adam parrish.

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CHARACTER BIRTHDAYS — ADAM PARRISH ( JULY 3RD )

adam didn't know what made him angry, only that it did.

maybe it was the sight of the single bed, its ridiculous size, the fact that even if adam were to take it, the whole of his body wouldn't even fit inside. he'd have to hunch on himself, small, the way he did at the trailer; waiting for something bad to happen. waiting for the world to be cruel, and loud.

or maybe adam was angry because he had seen gansey look at the place; the way he had catalogued every piece of furniture, deciding then and there that he'd take the floor, because he was the best person adam knew, and also an asshole who didn't understand a thing about the real world. gansey had not even had to say it: adam had taken one look at his eyes, behind the glasses (before he'd gotten rid of them), at the line of mouth, the way it gets hard when he's pondering a problem and its solution, one look at the whole of gansey, and adam knew.

maybe he was just angry because the receipts kept spilling from his pockets, and there was nothing he could do about the numbers, or the fact that his meagre savings wouldn't be enough at all. he had tried. that was the thing, the real problem at the very bottom of this lake of anger: he was trying so very hard to do it right, and it wasn't enough, because adam parrish was born adam parrish, and there was no amount of working and saving and working and saving that would change the fact that he was owed nothing more than a shitty room on the side of the highway, with richard gansey the third standing beside him, looking tall and regal, offering to sleep on the ground like it was nothing more than a fun adventure he could recount later.

"gansey." adam's accent is a thin rope between who he was born to be and who he wants to become -- most of the time, he wishes to cross it, even if he knows he is not a good enough tightrope walker to make it to the other side. strangely enough, it seems that the line disappears completely when he pronounces his friend's name, for he does not quite say gansey. he says it slow, intentional, gansey, as one would bite into an apple & wait a moment before actually pronouncing one's like or dislike for the taste. the slow exhale at the end lets you know it is the former rather than the latter.

"you're being dramatic. you're not going to die." adam parrish's tone is never too anything. never too dramatic or too angry or too bored. it is uneventful in a way a meadow is uneventful : you would need to pay extra attention to the tall grass & the wind-blown wild flowers to actually gather pieces of information instead of coming empty-handed, the description of a grass-filled pasture the only image you've kept from the encounter. so when he says "dramatic", one must hear the amusement, not quite there and yet its shadow already well-established.