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I literally have professional autism and ADHD diagnoses and I still keep worrying that I’m actually a faker.
Being vaguely aroacespec does not help. (Why couldn’t I either be unambiguously alloallo or unambiguously aroace/alloace/aroallo? Why am I stuck in this inane limbo?)
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Happy Ace Week everyone! Since today is Sunday, I’m going to share my personal opinion, which is that St. Paul was likely aroace.
In 1 Corinthians, he encourages married couples not to “deprive each other” (read: abstain from sex) except for “by mutual consent for a time” and discourages the abstinence from continuing after the break.
This may sound vaguely acephobic, but it’s followed up immediately by: “This I say by way of concession, however, not as a command. Indeed, I wish everyone to be as I am, but each has a particular gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” (1 Corinthians 7:6-7, emphasis mine.)
Further: “Now to the unmarried and to widows, I say: it is a good thing for them to remain as they are, as I do, but if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry, for it is better to marry than to be on fire.” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9, emphasis mine.)
Just Aroacespec Things
Being terrified that I would turn out to be gay (I come from a very homophobic family) because I hadn’t had a crush yet.
Planning out an entire life with my best friend in second grade. I literally wanted us to be buried side by side. My dad was all like, “I think she’ll want to be buried with her husband.” And I was like, “He can be on the other side of her.” (Baby’s First QPR idea)
Kissing my best friend on the cheek and being accused of being a lesbian.
Random girl in my school: “What would you do if you had three wishes?” Random girl #2: “Oh, first I’d wish for a soulmate.” Me (who wants a regular friend): “uh, yeah, sure…me, too.”
Getting flat-out asked by a boy in middle school if I was a lesbian.
When I first heard about sex, I told my dad I was just going to adopt.
Having three “crushes” in high school, two of which I’m pretty sure were just squishes I turned into crushes because I was afraid of being ace. (Not aro: I didn’t really want to believe in the SAM at this point because my religion requires marriages to be consumnated and I kind of wanted to get married.)
Watching The Big Bang Theory and asking my dad, “Why would anybody even want to have sex unless they wanted a kid? What’s the point?”
Just assuming that people didn’t really feel sexual attraction, up until I had a conversation with my adult (married) cousin where I said “obviously you didn’t actually feel some urge to have sex with [husband]” and she just said “um actually I did feel that I just suppressed it”
Being told that having sex is required to be validly married in the Catholic Church. (Still don’t know how that squares with the Virgin Mary.)
Telling my therapist about being ace and having her insist that it’s just “normal for women to not feel much sexual attraction.”
Hearing my mom get on my adult brother’s case about not being married and feeling icky
Coming out to my parents and they literally did not believe me.
“You just haven’t found the right person yet!”
