#ack!!!

the pain is really taking its toll, everything got even worse because of the grief curse only now it’s snowy and below freezing and i feel still rigid and unmotivated and exhausted. i usually feel more better if push through to walk or hike but that hasnt been working (i mean, im still going) & i don’t really have the ability to rest more than i have

more people have been around the house than i’ve felt up for, but no one is actually doing anything wrong at all (and, like, i really like everyone!) but now i’m getting in my own head about being unsociable or being in the way or being weird

i’m out like 350 bucks rn bc i ordered shirts to print and haven’t been able to touch em. also out hundreds for tattoo stuff & it’s been half a year and i have yet to put needle to skin despite folks waiting & encouraging me (not planning on making people pay me but like it sucks to throw a lotta cash at this and to just have not had a good moment because honestly wrist / hand pain has also been a prohibitive factor)

and im so angry about everything that happened last week. feeling really lucky to have franklin. other friends have been offering support too, but struggling to take them up on it because it feels both talked to death & overwhelming to open up about & a good chunk of how i spent last week was doing very very intense emotional support that involved a lot of being erratically wailed / shouted at for hours.

having a weird experience being in spaces where people don’t know what’s going on with me, which is unfortunate because i definitely seem very pissed off and tired, but like, i swear i have a reason. i’m gonna push myself to connect with folks though, once i figure out what would feel good. it also sucks just, like, having had time off last week & zero ability to enjoy it because now i’m in the middle of a 10 hour workday & i feel physically and emotionally stuck

BABE bap bap bap

I just wanted to say that I absolutely LOVE all your art and writing! I’m struggling to articulate this everything, it’s like my brain short circuits a bit when I try to figure out how to haha but like your writing is just so good!!! It makes me feel so many emotions, I love it.

And your art is incredible!! Your style, the colors, and everything you do in them are just so superb. I feel like I mentally start bouncing off of walls out of excitement (in a positive way) when I see new stuff you’ve created.

And your dadlink au?!?! It’s so good! I love how you’ve drawn and characterized everyone so much in it! And fen is always so cute!!

Anyways whether you answer this or not, I don’t care, I just felt the need to send you some appreciation for your creations! So thank you for all the time and effort you put into everything and also sharing it with everyone so we can enjoy it too!