If you’re exclusionist but you support ace/aro people creating their own spaces and believe that the ace/aro community deserves to exist and have resources because aphobia is an issue (not oppression, but interpersonal issues that do affect people’s lives) and you do NOT think being ace/aro is cringey/stupid/lame

and/or youre ace/aro and also an exclusionist

Then like/reblog if you want to?

Why is there a need for an ace/aro community at all? Well, it should be to support adults who struggle due to our society’s demands of being in sexual and romantic relationships. It truly does not matter if someone wants sex/romance, if they choose not to have it then they’re still going to have problems because of these demands.

Someone who wants to have sex but chooses not to for any reason, including trauma issues or religious practices or mental health reasons or whatever, they’re still going to have the same issues of “what do I tell people who ask me out” and “how do I explain this to my friends who ask me about my sex life” and “am I lacking something critical in my life because of this” and “should I be embarrassed about this / am I childish for being like this”

These are things ace people and celibate people who aren’t ace deal with.

This is why I always say “ace/aro people and those who would benefit from ace/aro resources.” Because it’s not just about those who don’t have sexual/romantic attraction. It’s also about the people who struggle with their attraction, people who don’t know what their attraction is, and people who don’t want to act on their attraction.

We need a space to express our frustrations with our society’s obsession with sex and romance

But doing that in a space where people come together to embrace their sexual and romantic desires that are hated because it’s to people of the same gender or because their attraction is considered disgusting bc they are trans — that just isnt going to work out

One group of people needs to hear “it’s okay to not be in a relationship or have sex” and hearing “it’s okay to love and desire sex” instead is not going to be helpful

And the other group of people needs to hear “your desire for love and sex is beautiful” and hearing “it’s okay to not have that desire” instead is not going to be helpful — and very well might be hurtful because these people hear that same thing from those who will do anything (perhaps even torture them!) to get them to stop having those desires

Exactly. People are so obsessed with aces/aros being LGBT that it actively hurts the efforts to create an actually beneficial ace/aro community. Ace/aro is not about identity or about validation or anything like that, it doesn’t matter if you identify as ace or aro, all that matters is whether you struggle with society’s demands of being in romantic/sexual relationships.