#ace!steve

steve:

You might want to give it a try if you like one of these things:

- found family

- finding yourself

- slice of life

- slow burn

- ace representation

and the first time they spend the night together, like spending the night, totally fine, nothing weird but seeing billy in his shirt for the first time? hes gotta like leave the room and calm down bc its somehow too much

and the first time they fuck, again steves good but then they shower together and steves getting overwhelmed and has to hop out early

like the big important scary milestones, steve breezes through, cool as a cucumber, but those small weird ones fuck him up and i think steve would try to be open and communicate about this stuff but hes also embarassed that hes freaking out about such stupid stuff! like hes been blown before, he doesnt know why seeing a guy sucking his cock freaks him out? hes seen girls wear his shirts before, why us billy any different? hes showered with someone else before why is still so weird?

and billy kinda laughs about it bc hes like its bc its gay, you were getting ready for the big gay stuff that youve never done before but you werent getting ready for the old things to be gay

Happy Pride!

Here is a link to my post about Harringrove for BLM, and here is a link to Writers/Artists Against Police Brutality

Here’s also a link to the Masterlist of Harringrove for BLM coutesy of @harringrovetrashh

Thank you all for organizing, participating, and donating.

-

The bell above the door was somehow extra loud when Billy shoved his way through.

Or maybe Steve was just extra in tune with the specific way it jangled as he swaggered inside, smirking at Steve, his eyes sharp.

They did this every day.

Billy would come in, they would flirt back and forth, Billy would lick over his teeth, say something like why don’t you meet me at the quarry tonight, Pretty Boy, and Steve would panic and come up with some lame excuse why he couldn’t, Billy’s face would fall, and he’d slink back out.

“Why don’t you just go out with him?” Robin huffed as Steve watched Billy retreat. “I know you’re jonesin’ for him.”

“Because, because he’s gonna want stuff if we go out. Stuff I can’t, can’t give him.” They had already had this conversation, on the bathroom floor of the Starcourt Mall, drugged nearly out of their minds.

She had told him about Tammy Thompson, the deep feeling she got low in her gut when she thought about other girls, other women.

And he hadn’t understood, told her he had never felt that. He loved looking at beautiful people, loved holding hands and going on dates, but never felt that urge, that want.

And she had just shrugged, said that’s okay. That if someone was right for him, loved him as they should, they wouldn’t force something he didn’t want.

“Maybe you could talk to him? See if, if maybe he doesn’t mind that you can’t give him that.” Steve just shook his head.

“You’ve heard the rumors. He’s not goon want me once he, once he finds out that I’m broken.”

Robin’s eyes flashed.

“You are not fucking broken. Stop saying that about yourself. You’re normal and good and just fucking great the way you are, and if someone doesn’t love you enough to make you feel that, then they don’t deserve you.”

-

Billy was back.

He leaned over the counter to tug on the back of Steve’s work vest.

“Hello, I’d like to rent a video. For my family.” He smiled brightly at Steve when he turned around, gum rolling around in his mouth. After getting possessed, after getting that thing burned out of him in the sauna, his lungs weren’t quite the same. He could usually be found with wads of bubblegum in his cheeks, shoving more in when he got another craving for a cigarette.

“I think I can help you with that. We are called Family Video for a reason.” RObin audibly groaned from the back room.

“Well, anything ticklin’ your fancy these days? You could come watch it, watch it with me.” Steve’s stomach dropped.

“Sorry, Billy. I got, I got to drive Dustin tonight, his mom took an extra shift and-” Billy huffed.

“That’s fine, Harrington. I get the fuckin’ message.”

Billy stomped out the door, shoved himself through. Steve panicked, was rounding the counter before he even realized what he was doing.

“Billy, Billy wait.” He reached Billy just as he was opening his car door in the lot behind Family Video. “Billy, why are you angry?”

“I get the fucking hint, Harrington. Why do you keep pretending to flirt if you don’t actually want to go out with me? You think it’s fun for me to get shot down again and again? Are you having fun playing with the queer? Playing with the fact that I fucking like you?”

“I’m, I’m not messing with you. I, I like you, but, but you don’t, you don’t get it.”

“What don’t I get?”

“If we’re together, you’re gonna, gonna find out, and then you won’t like me any more.” Billy shoved another piece of bubblegum in his mouth.

“Try me.” Steve shook his head, eyes wide. “What skeletons do you got in your little fancy boy closet? You got some weird fetish or something.”

Steve made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat, something like a scream with his mouth still closed.

“No. It’s the fucking opposite of that.” Billy furrowed his brows.

“The opposite, of a fetish? You think I’m not gonna like you because you like nice vanilla white boy sex? Honestly, Pretty Boy, that’s fine. That’s good, actually.” Steve stamped his foot. Billy just raised an eyebrow.

“No. I don’t like any sex. It’s just, it’s just like a chore and I don’t want it, and you’re not gonna be with me because I’m high maintenance, and you don’t get anything out of dating me.”

“Relationships aren’t just about sex, Steve. If we were, were together, I would get to be with you, I would get to love you. That’s fucking enough.”

“But I, I I just don’t feel that way. Like, I don’t think I ever have. I just, I’ve only had sex because I, because that’s what I’m supposed to do. Like, I’m a teenage boy. I should be raging with fucking hormones.” Billy took a small step closer to him, put his hands on each of Steve’s elbows. He spat out his wad of bubblegum, tightening his grip on Steve.

“Sweet Thing, I don’t fucking care about that. About any of it. We can be together and never have sex. I got two hands. I’m fine.” Steve smiled weakly. “As long as you’re happy, and comfortable, and safe, I’m good.”

Steve nodded at him.

“Can I kiss you?” He was searching Steve’s face. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah. I like kissing.” Billy smiled at him, discreetly looking around before leaning forward, leaning in.

Characters: Ace!Steve Rogers

Summary: Steve tries to navigate dating in the 21st century and discovers something about himself that he’s been trying to understand since the 1930s.

Content Warning: Steve coming to terms with his sexuality

Word Count: 628

Author’s Note: Hi lovelies! I was going to put this out last week when I finished but figured it would be a nice way to start off Pride month instead. I don’t see a whole lot of Ace!Steve fics out there so I figured I’d write one. I’m a big believer in representation for everyone in fics and I know it’s hard, especially for LGBTQIA+ folks. Hope this brightens someone’s day out there! XOXO - Ash

A Little Bit of Hope

Dating in the twenty-first century was something Steve was completely unprepared for. Back in the thirties and forties dating had been so much simpler. You liked a girl, you took her dancing, maybe a movie, or a walk in the park. There was a structure to outings, almost always in public, and the most he had to stress over was a goodnight kiss after a few dates if the girl was so inclined. Now, in this strange modern time, people would go out without ever actually going out. Dates could be just random meet ups at people’s homes, completely unstructured with a casualness that Steve found unsettling. And don’t even get him started on Netflix & Chill. Everything was so fast and loose that Steve’s anxiety had him wanting to curl up on his sofa and never leave his apartment just thinking about it. 

Sorry for the very long delay! I hope this works for you. :D

Steve massaged at his neck as he walked, digging hisfingertips in along his spine. He ached everywhere. It had been a long day oftraining, and then he’d devoted most of his afternoon to running and basketballgames with neighborhood kids. Most of them were the regular groups of kidswho’d gotten used to him, and Steve stopping by to play with them wasn’t acause for chaos. It was mostly the adults who made a fuss about him being onthe basketball court. They always ended up with an audience, dozens of cellphonesout, Twitter filling up with #CapHoldsCourt. Steve wished they’d leave himalone, but the kids loved it, and it got them some exposure, brought attentionto the neighborhoods. Steve didn’t get to be an anonymous citizen in a hoodiewith a basketball, but that was alright. He was used to it.

Chin drifting down toward his chest, Steve took one handaway from his neck and nudged the bedroom door open. The curtains had beendrawn across the floor to ceiling windows, blocking out the city lights. Thecorners of Steve’s lips drifted up. He’d never had to say anything, but Tonyhad somehow known that the cityscape made him feel untethered. One day Stevehad been standing at the window with his forehead pressed to the glass. He’dbeen watching the tail lights of the cars going by, thinking about how muchthey looked like toys from so far up. The next day, the curtains had been up.They were mostly sheer, gray, sleek and very Tony. They blocked out just enoughof the cityscape to make Steve feel comfortable. Insulated.

“You look very moist,” Tony said.

Steve turned to find him propped up in bed with the topsheet spread over his lap and a pillow pushed under his knees. He had a laptopon his thighs, his fingers poised over the keyboard. The screen highlighted hisface blue, and for a second Steve wondered what Tony’s skin had looked likehighlighted by the arc reactor.

“I am very moist,”Steve answered. He plucked his shirt away from his abs in illustration. Hisfingers left an impression in the wet fabric after he’d let it go.

Tony grinned at him. For whatever ridiculous reason, heliked it when Steve said moist, andSteve liked indulging him. He dropped his backpack by the closet and tugged hisshirt up over his head. The cool air lifted goose bumps on his skin. He wasconscious of Tony’s eyes on him as he dropped the shirt to the laundry hamperand toed off his shoes, but there was no hunger in it.

Slipping his shorts off, Steve glanced back. “I’m going totake a shower. Want to join me?”

“Hmm… freezing cold shower, or stay in the nice comfortablebed and just wait for you to come back all clean and cool?” He gave it his bestthinking face, turning his hands palms up and moving them up and down, weighingthe two options.

Steve laughed. “Alright. I’ll be back.” He heard the soft tap-tap-click-tap of Tony’s fingers onthe keyboard almost immediately. The sounds followed him into the bathroom, andSteve left the door open so he could still hear them while he brushed histeeth, used the toilet, and then finally turned on the shower. He always ran alittle hot, and cold showers felt so good after a long day of New York settlinginto his skin. Tony kept unscented everything for him on hand for the timeswhen he got over sensitive and strong scents gave him headaches, but Steveliked Tony’s body wash – rosemary, peppermint, and tea tree oil. It made hisskin tingle and left him with a chill for a while after he got out of thewater. Plus, it smelled like Tony. He took his time, scrubbing the washclothover his chest and down his arms, scrubbing every finger, cleaning under his nailswith the opposite thumb, rubbing the cloth at his cuticles. His toes got thesame treatment, and then the bottoms of his feet, the back of his knees, thespaces between his legs and over his ass. He even managed to stretch and twistenough to get his entire back. Even under the lukewarm water, the body washmade him feel cold, almost like his skin was vibrating.

By the time he made it back to the bedroom and into hisboxers, Tony had shut the laptop down and set it down beside the bed. He wasstill sitting up against the pillows, but he looked like he was starting todrift off. Steve flipped the light off and felt his way back to the bed,listening to Tony rustling around in the blankets to guide him while his visionadjusted.

The sheets were warm with Tony’s body, and soft on Steve’s buzzingskin. They rolled together without a word, Tony moving up the mattress andSteve squirming down so he could tuck his head under Tony’s chin. He liked theway it felt to have Tony’s arms draped around his head and shoulder, the steadythump of his heart close to Steve’s ears, the scent of his skin.

“Did you have a good day?” Tony asked, tipping his head toset this lips to Steve’s temple in a sideways kiss.

“Long,” Steve answered. He shrugged. “It was productive.Tomorrow will be worse.”

Tony hummed. “You have that embassy meeting tomorrow,” herecalled aloud. “Do you need moral support?”

“Don’t you have a shareholders call or investment somethingor other?”

Tony laughed. “I have a shareholders call and an investment something or other.But I can still be your moral support. I can multitask.”

Steve shifted to get comfortable, tucking his arm under thepillow and looking for that elusive position where his body and Tony’s bodylocked perfectly into place and they were both too comfortable to move again fora while. Tony shifted to let him move.

“I can handle the embassy,” Steve said finally, settlingdown again. It wasn’t exactly the right position, but pretty close. Closeenough for a while, anyway. He’d try again in a few minutes, or Tony would. They’dfigure it out, or they’d roll apart when limbs started falling asleep. Henuzzled into the underside of Tony’s chin, kissing idly at his throat.

Tony shifted against him. He threw a leg over Steve’s hip, andleaned back slightly against the pillows behind him. Steve sighed happily asthey fell into a comfortable sprawl.

“Do you need anything?” Steve asked after a moment of quiet.

“No, I’m alright. Thank you.” His fingers drifted across theback of Steve’s shoulders, and then down his spine.

Steve returned the favor, skating his free hand up Tony’sarm. He hooked a thumb under the strap of Tony’s tank top and let his knucklerub softly over his collarbone. Steve had never been with someone who was ascontent with touching and being touched without it leading to sex as Tony. Itwas a relief after a lifetime of anxiety and constantly having to be aware thathis partner might not interpret cuddling as just cuddling. He’d never feltbefore that he was free to just indulge in touch for the sake of touch. It wasn’tthat he disliked sex, and he really liked making Tony feel good, but he’d neverbeen drawn to it. Most of the time he was pretty sure that he got the sameenjoyment out of cuddling that other people got out of orgasms. When he’d wokenup in the new century and had the term ‘asexual’ defined for him the firsttime, he’d almost wept from relief. In his time, he would have just beenlabeled queer, and would have been in just as much danger from not having sexas having the wrong kind of sex.

Steve looked up. Tony had his eyes closed, but his fingerswere still brushing across Steve’s skin. The motions were growing slower,pauses between strokes growing longer. He was obviously drifting off to sleep. “Tony?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you really not mind that… well, we don’t have sex often?”

Tony cracked one eye open. They’d talked about it before –talked it to death, it felt like – but confirmation wasn’t a bad thing.Communication was important. Just because Tony hadn’t minded at one point, didn’tmean he wasn’t starting to mind six months later.

Rubbing at one eye with his knuckle, Tony managed to getboth eyes open. “When I was younger, I might have minded,” he confessedfinally. It could have just been the sleepiness, but he looked a little guilty.“No, I would have definitely minded. I would like to say that I would have seenyou for the prize you are and not let it get in the way, but it probably wouldhave. I’d like to think we would have worked it out anyways, but I was adifferent person then.” He put his hand on the side of Steve’s face and urgedhis chin up so he could see Steve’s eyes. “Darling. I am over fifty, and havean actual heart problem. I promiseyou, it does not bother me. I’ve never been with anyone I could just touchwithout having to put on a show all the time, and that’s nice.”

Feeling warm, Steve stretched up and kissed Tony gently onthe corner of his lips, and then rubbed their noses together. “You’ll tell meif it ever starts to bother you?”

“Cross my heart,” Tony said.

“And when you need it –”

“I will continue to communicate any needs with you as theyarise,” Tony interrupted, tucking Steve’s head under his chin and shiftingcloser so they were tangled up together. They wouldn’t stay like that for long –Tony kept the room cool to make cuddling more comfortable, but he’d get hoteventually and roll away.

Steve took advantage of it while his body heat was stillpleasant for Tony, wrapping his arms around Tony’s waist and holding him close.“I love you,” he said against Tony’s collarbone.

Humming, Tony said, “That is something I will never gettired of.” He leaned back so he kiss Steve’s forehead and then curled forwardagain, wrapping his free arm around Steve’s head and carding his fingersthrough Steve’s hair.

It was another position that wouldn’t last long – Steve likedfeeling cradled and sheltered, but it would eventually turn from sheltering tosmothering, and he would probably roll out of it even before Tony was drivenaway by his body heat.

Happy Pride!

Here is a link to my post about Harringrove for BLM, and here is a link to Writers/Artists Against Police Brutality

Here’s also a link to the Masterlist of Harringrove for BLM coutesy of @harringrovetrashh

Thank you all for organizing, participating, and donating.

-

Steve is greyace in this

-

They were wrapped up in Steve’s bed, making out lazily.

Steve always loves how Billy kisses him. His lips are soft, and he’s so much more gentle, more thoughtful than he would’ve ever guessed Billy would be.

His hands were big and warm, one arm underneath Steve, wrapped around his waist, hand on his back, the other gentle in the way it cradled his face.

And then Billy shifted his hips. He was hard against Steve, pressed into his hip.

“You wanna...?” Billy was trailing one hand down his side. Steve shrugged.

“Not really. Not tonight.” Sometimes Steve loved having sex with Billy, loved how close they felt. He loved that he could make Billy feel good, but sometimes it just felt bad and wrong. And sometimes it just felt like too much of a bother.

Billy just peppered kisses to his face, hand still warm on his hip.

“That’s okay. Just gimme a second.” Sometimes Billy would get too pent up while they were just making out, and didn’t want to make Steve uncomfortable. Sometimes he would go jerk off in the bathroom while Steve blushed and pretended he didn’t know what was happening in there. Sometimes he would read a few chapters of some horror novel. And sometimes he would just take a few breaths, tell Steve he’s beautiful, and they’d be right back in it.

“You’re beautiful.” He was back in Steve’s space, was kissing him again, just soft and slow, the way Steve likes it. Both arms wrapped around Steve’s waist, bringing him that much closer. Steve had both hands on his chest.

They broke apart, just smiling lazily at one another.

“You okay?” Steve rolled his eyes. Sometimes Billy was a little too vigorous with his check-ins. Steve knows he just wants to make sure Steve’s comfortable, but at this point, Steve would tell him. They’ve been together for so long.

“I’m fine, Bill. You don’t gotta keep checkin’.”