#abused lance

So here’s a fic I wrote last night at 3 am. It’s the first fic I’ve ever published sort so I’m sorry but here. It’s a langsty boi. This is only the first  part I plan on adding to it later. Oh and trigger warning for abuse, self harm, and implication/mention of rape. All the good stuff.

To say that Lance was tired was a huge understatement. Lance was incredibly tired, but not in his usual I didn't sleep enough way. For the past 9 fucking earth days he'd woken up screaming from a nightmare. This did happen to him occasionally, but never so many times in a row. Not since. Well that's a story for later. So Lance was tired nothing new, really. 

It didn't help though that he'd been on the edge of tears and Allura had sounded a fake alarm to get them to the deck faster. Lance had been raking his sharpest razor blade over his skin and boi oh boi did that take a bit of time to clean and bandage up. When he got to the deck only to hear their groans and lectures he had almost cried. Key word here is almost. He sucked it up and followed them to the training deck.

"Now, Paladins since we haven't gone through the mind meld since the last not-so-great first try. I say we give it another go!" Coran said pumping his fist. The paladins reluctantly put the headsets or whatever they were on. Lance tried his best to keep it together. He really did, but he was so exhausted. He regretted putting the headset on the moment he felt the link. He tried to grasp a clear thought only to think about why he couldn't think clearly.

"Lance get it together!" Keith said annoyed. unfortunately for Lance he thought about why he hadn't been sleeping so great and then his mind drifted off to his nightmares. Showing them to the team.

When Lance was little he stared up at the stars and it all seemed so simple.

He would escape to space where him and his family would finally be safe from his dad.

He doesn’t remember when his dad first started hitting him, a part of him always wanted to believe that there was a time that his dad would look down at him like he was his entire world.

A time before the beatings, the sleepless nights under his bed, the days without food.

Lance wanted to escape to the the stars but he had always planned on taking his family with him.

Never in his wildest fantasy would be get away while his siblings and poor mama were trapped with the monster that haunted his nightmares.

————————————-

“Lance? Are you listening?” Shiro asked waving a hand in front of his face.

It was a simple innocent gesture, yet it made Lance’s heart speed up and took all his will power not to flinch away.

“Y-yeah sorry.” Lance managed to smile.

They had been training for about two hours now and thanks to a sleepless night of bad dreams Lance was beyond exhausted at this point.

His body aches and his head was pounding right behind his eyes.

He kept telling himself that all he needed to do was make it through training and then he could take a nap and everything would be fine.

“Just kinda tired.”

Shiro sighed crossing his arms in what Lance recognised as disappointment.

“We’re all tired but that doesn’t mean you can slack off. You haven’t made a shot all day.”

That made sense

After all Lance’s vision was swimming and it was getting harder and harder to concentrate.

“I’m not slacking off I-“

“I’m not mad Lance just disappointed, if you don’t shape up there will be punishment.”

And like that Lance was back to being twelve years old being held too tightly by the arm as his Dad yelled that he deserved this.

That it was punishment for something he must of done.

Lance didn’t even realise he was crying until Shiro’s face morphed into concern and reached out for him.

“NO PLEASE! ILL BE GOOD I PROMISE PLEASE DONT HURT ME!” Lance screamed dropping to the floor and covering his head with his arms.

Shiro stared down at him in horror.

Lance looked like a cornered animal expecting death.

His words echoed around his head and made Shiro feel sick to his stomach.

A kid that had never been hit wouldn’t say something like this.

He glanced over his shoulder at the others thankful when Hunk seemed to read his mind and corralled the others out of the training room.

Shiro slowly and gently placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder, tilting his head up.

“Hey kiddo, I need you to take deep breaths ok. In out, in out. Good your doing good.”

Eventually Shiro managed to get Lance into his lap and rocked the sobbing boy back and forth until his cried died down to the occasional sniffle.

“M’sorry.” Lance mumbled burying his face into the leaders chest.

“you’ve got nothing to apologise for... you were abused weren’t you?”

Lance hummer in answer, it wasn’t a yes but it told Shiro all he needs to know about the situation.

They sat in silence for a long time before Lance finally spoke.

“My dad... he drinks, a lot. He got angry too whenever we would mess up he punished us... a lot.”

Shiro held Lance a little tighter “your safe now, your away from him.”

“But my brother and sister aren’t.... my mama will try to get between him and them and... and.” Lance started to cry again.

Shiro was certain at that moment he would never hate a man as much as Lance’s dad.

How could a man be so cruel to such a happy boy?

“I promise you Lance, soon as we can we will go to Earth and save your family.”

Lance looked up through tear filled eyes “promise?”

Shiro nodded “I promise.”

———————————————————

Finally I have caught up. This story is a sort of part of the abused Lance series that I have going on. It’s all past stuff mentioned in the story though. I hope everyone enjoys! ❤️

Lance had never had a good Christmas. It was easier to say that Lance was never allowed to have a good Christmas. Not when he was living with his family, anyway. Thinking back to the Christmases that he left behind on Earth, there was never any good memories that came with them. He wanted more than anything to feel the joy that came with Christmas; the joy that everyone else seemed to have when he looked at people on the street. His father knew that too; every year he would taunt Lance with them. Presents, foods, cookies, anything really but he would never let Lance touch any of it.

One year, when he was about nine years old. Lance tried to sneak away with a Christmas cookie that laid forgotten on the counter while his siblings were raiding the kitchen. He had almost gotten outside when his father’s hand wrapped tightly around his wrist and yanked him back. He looked down at him with such venom as he ripped the cookie out of his hand and threw it on the ground in front of him.

“You don’t deserve these things, boy,” he snarled at him before he slapped him across the face. A split second later, he backhanded the other one making Lance fall back with a cry. He looked up at his looming father with tears in his eyes, shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. His father spun around without a second thought and headed towards the kitchen again.

“Clean that up,” he hissed before walking past the door's threshold. Lance gasped and scrambled up to his feet, scooping the broken cookie up in his trembling hands and stumbling to the bathroom to dump it in the trash. As he cleaned his hands of the sugar, he looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was dishevelled, his eyes were watery and filled with tears, and his cheeks were bright red.

Red cheeks became a morbid Christmas tradition in his life. More than anything, he wanted to experience some sort of Christmas joy. So, every year he tried to somehow experience it. His father would always catch him though, whether it was sneaking food away from the kitchen, or decorating the small area behind the shed with decorations that had been thrown away and was punished for it.

He would sit up in his room or outside holding his stinging red cheeks, listening to the laughter coming from the living room as his siblings opened up their gifts. Sometimes he would cry and sometimes he just felt numb. Why couldn’t he have the things that they did? All he wanted was to have a good Christmas. At least the colour of his cheeks were festive.

When he moved away to the Garrison, he opted to stay at the school over the break. Hunk invited him to come to his house for the break but he declined. He didn’t want them to have to deal with him while they were supposed to be having fun with their family. He knew that Hunk meant well, but down deep he was afraid that he would be excluded like he was in his own house. He didn’t want Hunk, his only friend to find out what happened to him during Christmas, or during his whole life really. That wasn’t his cross to bear. It would always be his.

After posting earlier this morning, I still couldn’t get to sleep so here’s another story. Obviously, it does have mentions of child abuse, so if that bothers you in any way, please don’t read it. I hope you enjoy!

“Is everyone ready?” Allura asked from the control room above them. Everyone nodded their heads and started concentrating. Earlier that day, Coran realized that the paladins hadn’t gone through the mind-meld exercise since Pidge stormed off the last time. Obviously, they were close teammates but you could never be too close to your friends.

“Now I want you to think about the people around you,” she stated. Immediately she could see the happy memories of them training and spending time together in the lounge appear on their screens. The paladin’s felt warmth travel through their bond as they shared the memories they had of each other. Shiro chuckled when Lance brought up their first ride in the blue lion.

“What will you be returning to on Earth?” They heard Allura ask. Shiro was about to share the image of his short, little mom but flinched when he felt Lance’s connection to them splintering. Before he could ask him what was wrong, the flickering image of a man appeared in front of them. He was staring down at a small skinny boy with a glare on his face. It didn’t take long for them to realize that the little boy was Lance. When they looked over at him, he was staring blankly ahead at the memory.

“Are you okay buddy?” Hunk asked hesitantly. Right after he asked, the sound of a loud slap and thud echoed through the room. They looked back to the memory and saw Lance lying on the floor, his cheeks covered in tears and his jaw beginning to swell and bruise. There was no yelling from the man, even though they could see his mouth moving rapidly, they could only hear Lance’s painful sobbing. He must not have been listening at that point. Not that they could blame him, they wouldn’t have been either. They relaxed as the memory began to fade away but couldn’t do anything when the next started.

They heard muffled yelling come from inside a moderate looking house. They could already tell that it revolved around Lance like the other one had. The door at the back of the house burst open and again, a smaller version of Lance was thrown down into the dirt of the backyard. Before he could get to his feet, the door slammed shut and they heard a lock click. He staggered to his feet and walked up to the door, he tried wiggling the doorknob but didn’t dare try knocking or the doorbell.

“Papá I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to break the rules,” he said through the door. “Please let me back in, I’m sorry,”

When he received no response, he turned from the door and plopped down on the grass. He absentmindedly plucked at the grass, pulling it out and throwing it above his head like confetti. For the first time that they saw in his memories, they saw Lance smile, and for the simplest thing. That simple happiness was quickly swept away when a crack of thunder startled Lance. He looked up as the first few droplets of rain came down from the sky. He scrambled up and sat under a grubby, old umbrella that was sitting in a dirt-stained patio table set. Soon enough, they could see him shaking from the cold and his composure was quickly crumbling with the rain. Ignoring the rain, Lance ran back to the back stoop and just barely knocked on the door.

“Papá please, I’m sorry,” he cried again. “I’m so cold,” he sobbed, and from the memory, they could tell. His clothes were soaking wet and he was visibly trembling on the spot. Even his lips began to show a bit of a blue tinge. His cries were muffled when the door opened for a split second and a blanket was shoved in his face with enough force to send him toppling down the few steps and into the mud. He didn’t stay long enough to think about what happened, only hopped up and wrapped the now partially soaked blanket around his shoulders. He quickly curled up under the umbrella again and stared out around him. He didn’t make a sound as tears rolled down his cheeks and the mud on his clothes chilled him to the bone.

“That’s his dad?” Keith asked horrified. None of them could answer him. Pidge had her hand pressed against her mouth in absolute shock. Hunk was already crying for his best friend and wanted nothing more than to reach over and pull him into a hug. However, Lance was still stuck in his memories and until he pulled himself or they were able to pull him from his memories, they were trapped. All Shiro wanted to do at the moment was go to Earth and punch this man in the face. Lance was one of the kindest, caring, and selfless person he had ever known; and to think that this is what he had to look forward to when he went to Earth was unacceptable and unfair.

“If you can’t follow my rules correctly, then I guess you don’t deserve to eat today,” they heard a voice growl. They snapped from their musings and looked back, to, unfortunately, see that Lance had fallen into another memory. It took a moment for what he said to click but when it did they were shocked.

“B-but papá, I didn’t eat yesterday either, or the day before,” he admitted quietly. This Lance was a bit older than the other memories that they were already shown. He looked more like the Lance that they knew now.

“Well, then, maybe you should have followed the rules than huh?” the man grinned sadistically at Lance. “Now go to your room,” he growled turning away from his son. Lance knew that he should just listen to him and go to his room but he could feel how empty his stomach was and could feel the crippling cramps ready to rise up.

“Please papá,” he whispered almost inaudibly. The man whirled around, backhanding Lance sending him into the fridge. He whimpered, clutching cheek in pain and hesitantly looked at his father.

“GO!” He yelled. Lance yelped and flew down the hallway away from him. He carefully closed his door behind him, slamming it was against the rules. He groaned and grabbed his stomach before sliding down his door to land on the floor. He leaned back against it and looked at the ceiling. His stomach let out a loud growl and he let himself curl in on himself. He let out a small sob as his stomach clenched in pain. Shiro squeezed his eyes shut against the tears that wanted to escape. It suddenly made too much sense why Lance was as skinny as he was and why he ate as much as he did at meal times. He looked over at their Lance and saw that he too, was resting his hand on his stomach like it was in just as much pain. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the memory begin to flicker and he reluctantly turned, prepared to witness more of Lance’s painful memories. He was surprised and excited when instead he saw Hunk placing a tray of cookies in front of Lance.

“That was at the Garrison,” Hunk spoke up with a smile on his face. Hunk said that he wanted to bake his mom some cookies for her birthday and send them to her. Lance had been able to talk the Garrison cooks into letting him use it after hours as long as they would clean everything us before they left. Lance was able to gain just about anybody’s trust, they could see what a good kid he was. They watched with wide smiles as the two of them cooked and danced around the kitchen. This was the Lance that they knew. The one with a constant smile on his face and wasn’t afraid to be as loud as he wanted. This was the Lance that he deserved to be, a carefree kid.

“That was at the Garrison too,” Pidge pointed out when the memory changed to him and Pidge dancing around one of the student lounges. When she went to the Garrison; she knew that she was just there to get enough intel to find her dad and matt but there was something so calming and trustworthy about Lance, that she couldn’t help but become friends with him. They had been studying and Lance had turned on his music for background noise but soon enough they were forgetting about their books and just enjoyed the beat of the music around them.

“Hey, that’s the Space Mall,” Keith said as it changed to him and Lance wandering through stores. They were able to go back after they settled everything out with Varkon and were freely able to look around. Almost immediately Lance went to the Earth store with Keith following him. They laughed when Lance plopped a cowboy hat on Keith’s head and he instantly started talking in a southern drawl and started walking around with his hands resting where a belt buckle would be. Lance lost it and collapsed on the ground from laughing too hard. He stood over top of him and continued, ignoring the fact that Lance told him he was going to pee himself if he kept going.

“The pool, of course,” Shiro snorted. They had figured out the pool a while ago and this was the first time that Shiro had been in. He wasn’t sure how his prosthetic would react to the water. Pidge said it would be fine, but he was still wary. Earlier, Hunk had installed a rope swing to the side wall. Which seemed to be one of Lance’s favourite things at the pool.

“Hey, Shiro!” He called. His eyes widened when he looked behind him and only saw Lance flying towards him on the rope. Lance grabbed him around the chest with his legs and dragged him into the pool with him. Lance shot to the surface with a smile and a cheer of joy. He looked around him, trying to find his leader. He gulped when Shiro rose slowly out of the depths like some sort of Disney villain. The image was ruined only by the white fringe that was flopped over his face, completely covering his eyes. Lance let out a snort and covered his grinning mouth. He let out a shriek when Shiro picked him up over his head by his arm and leg.

“Yeet!” Shiro shouted, launching him across the pool to land in the deeper water. It took a few moments for him to surface but he came up laughing so hard, that Shiro was afraid he would drown himself accidentally. They watched these memories with smiles so bug that their jaws started to hurt. They can’t change the past and what happened to Lance but they sure as hell could change his future.

“I’m sorry you guys had to see that,” Lance said quietly after they pulled their headbands off. They turned to face him and could see the hesitation and shame on his face. They moved to side around him and wrapped around him in comfort.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Shiro insisted grabbing his hands. Lance looked at them for a moment before curling slightly and resting his head on top of them.

“I’m scared to go back to Earth, I don’t know what he’ll do to me,” Lance whimpered. Shiro’s eyes widened and he pulled Lance to his chest.

“You’re not going back to that house,” Shiro promised him. “You can live with me or Keith, or any of us if you have to but I will never let that man near you ever again,”

“Really?” Lance’s quiet, wobbly voice asked. Shiro looked down to lock eyes with Lance’s teary blues.

“Of course,” he nodded. Lance’s chin trembled and he let out a whine as he bumped his head against Shiro’s chest. He gripped the material of his shirt in his hand and let out a choked sob. With relief, the others crowded around him in a warm hug. They were not going to let anyone hurt Lance ever again. Not if they had anything to say about it.

Part 1/2