A big issue I've seen in active restrictive ed, some ed "recovery," and fat acceptance spaces is this false dichotomy thinking pattern and seeing things in absolutes without nuance. It's all gotta be extreme, black-and-white, all-or-nothing. The best thing for my recovery has been identifying the middle ground and constructing a balance. Both sides can have good points, but they get buried and twisted by the mounds of mental gymnastics in which they are entrenched.
"If you're not Fat (positive), you're Skinny (derogatory)" and vice versa. A warped sense of what "fat" or "skinny" even mean; some seeing healthy weights as "fat" while others see them as "skinny."
>There is a healthy range of weight that is genuinely neither "fat" nor "skinny." These terms are so subjective, but we have objective measures to recognize them when subjectivity fails. Body fat percentage and muscle mass often go unaccounted for but can make a big difference in how a given weight looks and feels.
"If I put on any weight, I'll be a whale," or "If I lose any weight, I'll be skin and bones."
>Such noticeable changes take more weight than people think. No one else sees those pounds like you do but you. If coming from under- or overweight condition, getting to a healthy weight can feel this way, but that's usually because of warped ideas of what "fat" and "skinny" truly are. It's ok to have your own standards, but no one who goes from obese to high normal is actually "skin and bones," and no one who goes from underweight to low normal is actually "a whale." The type of mass gained/lost also matters. Look at more than just that number.
"Eating more than maintenance is a binge," or "Eating less than maintenance is starvation."
>Normal people maintaining don't eat exactly maintenance every single day. It's about averages over time. Really, people on both sides have lost sight of what a regular amount of food looks like, so eating it can feel so at odds with what they're used to that it feels wrong. Neither side truly understands how extreme the other can get, lacking perspective. For loss or gain in recovery, small changes for gradual progress are more manageable and better for mental health than extreme changes for rapid results, and it's precisely because of this mentality.
"Any level of calorie restriction, tracking, or nutrition goals--anything that isn't Intuitive Eating--is disordered," or "Any indulgence in unhealthy foods will make me fat."
>Balance isn't a bad thing. Side-eyeing the FAs who want allyship with muscular women; newsflash, most of them track and have goals too. Making room in the plan for treats can be healthy. Tailoring the rest of the plan to meet your goals can also be healthy. Intuitive eating is great to aspire to, but some people need or want to pay attention. A binger eating intuitively will likely binge, and a restricter eating intuitively likely won't get enough. Not everyone is there yet or will ever be there.
"Loving your body means no food rules ever."
>What if loving your body meant taking care of it? Loving your body means not actually starving it to an unhealthily low weight, yes, but it also means paying attention to nutrition and exercise. Loving your body means giving it enough and giving it what it actually needs without harmful excess; quality nutrition, balanced meals, more whole ingredients and home made foods. Loving your body means moving it, using it for enjoyable activities, stretching and strengthening it, giving it the opportunities to achieve its potential and thrive into old age. Loving your body means accepting it as yourself, not a separate entity, and doing right by yourself and all you want to achieve.
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