#about lying

"Lying is, from the astral standpoint, murder and at the same time suicide. It deceives the other person and creates in him a feeling that is related to a non-existent fact, to a nothingness. On the astral plane appears the counter picture of the nothingness, the killing. You therefore kill something in a person when through a lie you direct his feeling to something that does not exist....."

- Rudolf Steiner

LECTURE XIX, Berlin, 17th October 1905

like I've made it a rule to not force laugh or laugh at something I don't get or I don't find funny. just cause I really want people to know the true me and also I don't want to use energy on performing especially around friends.

You need to lie to be patient

From my experience being honest is a touchy subject, we may not be always honest but our good intentions says it all I think, you don’t have to tell the truth every single time, an innocent lie is better than a brutal truth in my opinion. You don’t have to make up with a big fat lie you can just lie for like tell your dad you need 20$ to buy clothes and instead of clothes you buy bitcoin or…

I've never been much good at lying. But It's kind of like "modern art". You dont really have to be good at painting, so much as you have to be good at selling and presenting your art as if it weren't randomly splattered pieces of nothing. You can say the most ridiculously incorrect things, but if you present them the right way, badaboom! you've got yourself a decent lie. If you dont you look like a retard with paint splats.

I dont much like lying to people who love me. Im straight up bad at it to be honest. But I take no issue in lying to a lier. And fortunate as I am, I have the perfect specimens. I work with the two biggest liars that I have ever met in my life. Robby and Frank. most people lie to tell stories with a self empowering theme. But Frank and Robbie lie so often that it has become a part of a normal sentence. As if, to them, a truthful sentence is a boring sentence. 

I took a long drag of my blunt in Franks living room. We're watching the matrix. "that line was total improve" He says in between coughs. I try to listen to this story hes telling me about how Keanu Reeves broke a bone in the making of that scene and blah blah blah, I started fading into my own thoughts. I knew it wasnt true. He wouldnt know, but I actually had a copy of the script from the movie, and I've read through the entire thing. I had seen the Matrix enough to know, that that particular line that Frank said was improve, was indeed in the original script. Fucking liar. But theres no fun in trying to point out a liar's lie. They try so desperately to cover their lie with another lie.

Thats how you know you are a bad liar.

If I had said, "actually, that shit was in the script" and show him proof, he would have said some shit like "Oh, well in the ORIGINAL script, it wasnt there, they changed it after the movie". If you have to cover your ass, you failed. A lie shouldnt need any further explanation. It should speak for itself.

Anyway, I didnt want to get into that whole conundrum, so I took another drag and nodded my head, and when I let out the smoke, I said "Cool man". Ugh, giving him that satisfaction of thinking he got away with a perfectly shitty lie left a bad taste in my mouth, so I thought to myself; "How can I have fun with this?" And I found a way.

Lying to liars has become a dear hobby of mine.  

At work, Frank will start word vomiting about the black death in Madagascar like he had freshly gotten out of quarantine. So I say, "Thats nothing, Madifluensa has killed 50 people in Argentina already!" I delivered the lie effortlessly and he took it. "I heard about that! I heard it was 56 people, and it started mutating. Genetic viruses are really dangerous when they mutate." I made up the word Madifluensa, and Im pretty sure Argentina is fine right now. I was laughing internally. Once I started talking about  a motorcycle that I had "seen around town" and I gave a very detailed description of it. I even gave it decal. He said that he had seen it around town and gave his opinion about it. I made the bike up entirely. The conversations Frank and I have now, are so full of shit that its probably a health code violation. It has gotten so ridiculous. Its like two people are pretending to speak a language that neither of them have ever heard before, and are pretending to communicate with each other.  

Robby is just as bad, if not worse. He lies in a more annoying way. Frank is a know-it-all liar. He just wants people to think hes smart. Robby, is just bad at lying. 

I was telling my coworker Sam how to water marble her nails. Honestly if you are a man, I do not expect you to know fucking anything about painting nails. "you have to use a certain type of nail polish. It cant be too...." Robby chimes in; "it has to be a thick coat paint right?" Oh jesus. "um, no." Sam starts ripping him a new one. She is fully aware how full of shit he was. She was 5 months pregnant and has had enough of him trying to tell her about being pregnant and giving birth. she knew damn well he didnt know shit about painting nails. "When did you go to school for nails Robert?" He got huffed up at being challenged, "Who do you think holds my girl friends' nail polish when they paint their nails? They paint their nails and I hold the bottle and they tell me what theyre doing" He said with complete confidence. How full of shit is this guy? 

I tried to talk to Frank about how ridiculous the conversation was. "I mean really, who makes their friend hold on to their nail polish. They just set that shit on the counter, besides, a little on the sexist side, most men dont know diddly about painting nails." Frank laughs at Robbie's stupidity, and than says "Well, actually painting your nails is not much different than painting a house!" oh Christ. "I used to paint my mother's nails. I would take my art supplies out and paint little musical notes on her nails!". Dear God just stop. "She loved it so much she would keep them on for months!" Kill me, I forgot that they are both equally ridiculous. 

I ride a motorcycle. Honda rebel 250. Its a good starter bike, and Im kind of a little lady, so it fits my body type. Rob and Frank have so much to say about motorcycles. Im 100% positive that neither of them have ever thrown their leg over a bike. When I was in the market for my Rebel, Robby asked me if it came with any attachments. "It comes with crash bars".

(For those of you who dont know, crash bars are chrome bars that are near your legs on the bike so that if you have to lay your bike down, your bike dosnt crush your legs, or the road dosnt damage your bike.) (Here is a picture of my bike. the crash bar is circled right behind the front wheel.

So, Robby says to me "You should start out with normal bars" "What do you mean?" "Sense youre a beginner, and it would make it harder to steer". It becomes clear to me that he has no idea what hes talking about. He heard the word "bars" and ran with it, thinking they had something to do with the handle bars. So I did that thing that I said previously was no fun, and I caught him in his lie. "They have nothing to do with handle bars". so he spins another lie about how he had a friend with crash bars that curved up and over the steering column. (which is ridiculous, and when I asked him to explain that heap of shit to me he vaguely diagramed it for me with his fingers). 

there was a duck,a goose,a dove, and a donkey living near a lake and one day they found a bag of wheat, they planted it to get more and promised to not eat it till its all grown and have a lot of it.

but one day the donkey woke up at night hungry and ate most of the wheat, in the morning when they woke up (the birds) and found the wheat has been eaten, they asked each other who ate it and the donkey lied and said he didn't eat it, they decided to swear on the lake, each when up swore (there was a song for each one -how they swore-).

the duck went first swore on the lake and then flow to the other side of the lake.

the dove went second swore on the lake and then flow to the other side of the lake.

the goose went third swore on the lake and then flow to the other side of the lake.

and finally the donkey went last Swore on the lake and jumped to the other side of the lake but fell down and drowned.

(this is supposed to teach the kids to not lie)

Me: ambient lotr music, perfect

Me: *listens to Into the West*

Me: *thinks about elves*

Me: *thinks about ancient elves weary with the burden of so many years*

Me: *thinks about elves finally laying aside their burdens for rest in Aman*

Me: *thinks about elves NOT laying aside their burdens for rest in Aman*

Me: *thinks about Thranduil*

Me: *thinks about headcanons*

Me: *tears up*

Coworker: you okay?

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: fine

Coworker: anything bothering you?

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: