#abbey smith

Whenever you were all at the bar Abbey always sat next to you, arm wrapped behind you as you leant against her. This was usually what happened when the community service gang hung out.  Rudy was usually chatting about some random woman he got with, Finn was usually pining after Jess, Jess was always after Alex the bar man, but you were happy cuddled up next to Abbey. You were never sure if she knew you’d liked her or not (heck, you weren’t even sure if she liked women) but you’d always savour this time with her. She never complained, if anything sometimes she’d pull you closer. Her hand sometimes caressed your hip, sometimes your shoulder, sometimes your arm. The second you’d all leave the bar, however, she’d leave without so much as a goodbye. It always stung, no matter how hard you tried to deny it. 

Tonight had started out no differently than any other. You guys had moved to frequent your usual booth as one member ordered drinks. Abbey seemed more distant today, choosing to sit away from you on the opposite side of the booth. You took a deep breath. It doesn’t sting, it doesn't sting, you thought to yourself repeatedly. Rudy eyed you cautiously. He knew your power all too well. 

You could share your emotions with people through touch and in turn, feel other people's emotions. You could sense their emotions from a distance but when you touched them, it became intense. You weren’t the best at opening up before the storm, bottling up as much as you could. But post-storm… it got so much worse. When your ex tried to touch you after weeks of avoiding it, they went flying into the kitchen table, your fear getting the best of you as they touched your cheek. Safe to say they didn’t come anywhere near you after that. You made a conscious effort to avoid touch, or any sort of attachment for that matter. The community service team somehow wormed their way into your heart, after you’d spent months avoiding as many people as possible. One member in particular had your heart, but you wouldn’t let them get too close. Your worst fear was hurting anyone else you loved, you’d lost enough people because of this power, you wouldn’t lose any more. 

Only Rudy knew what your power really was. Rudy made the mistake of touching your bare arm when you were deeply upset and you accidentally sent him flying into the mirrors in the community centre’s locker room. You had to hide it, which meant suppressing your true feelings about everything. Your anger, sadness, anxiety, joy, happiness. You always hid it, the happier emotions tended to slip away but the negative ones continued to boil and bubble. You very rarely let go and released them.

Rudy shuffled up closer, accidentally brushing his arm against your bare forearm as he did so, making him shudder. 

“You need to deal with all that at some point. Can’t keep bubbling it up, it’ll hurt that beautiful noggin of yours.” Rudy whispered, he always had a way with words, but this was sweet. He did truly care about you. He hated seeing you hurting in any way. 

“I’ll be fine Rudy, I promise. I don’t wanna talk about it,” You tried to keep your voice level, but you struggled when you noticed Abbey staring at a guy at the bar. You didn’t want to assume because that was never fair, but she’d never spoken about women in any way that made you think she’d like them. Her eyes travelled down his entire body, taking in his figure. You felt sick to your stomach. Why did you always fall for people who would never like you back?

The drinks hitting the table pulled you away from your thoughts, Finn sitting on the other side of you. He grimaced at your facial expression before pushing a beer in front of you. 

“What’s got you all miserable?” Finn asked, just as Abbey left the table, approaching the man at the bar. 

“Oh. That.” Finn remarked as he took a swig from his beer.

“I don’t get why you like her so much.” Jess commented, they never really got along, but that was not your business. 

“Jess, it’s true love! You can’t deny something like true love. It’s sacrilege… or at least it’s illegal.” Rudy explained, saving you from having to explain your feelings. Rudy turned to face you and winked not-so-subtly. Jess rolled her eyes. Abbey disappeared with the bloke at the bar, making your stomach tighten once more. 

“It’s alright babe,” Rudy tried to comfort you but it was no use. You’d have to accept she was never going to like you. You didn’t see her for most of the night, sitting in the same spot as everyone moved around, mingling with other people, maybe even leaving with them like Abbey had. You didn’t have the energy to mingle with people, holding all your anger and sadness was starting to become unbearable. 

“Now, what’s a pretty thing like you sitting here all alone?” A tall man approached your table, his smile slightly sinister as he took a seat without asking. 

“I’m here with friends.” You replied swiftly, not wanting to entertain him. 

“Well, I don’t see them. I think they left you, sweetheart.” His tone was condescending, giving a little smirk in your direction. You looked around for anyone in your group when your eyes landed on Rudy, who was still here and, for once, not flirting with a girl. 

“Rudy!” You called, grateful he was still here. He glided over, sliding in next to you before elbowing your side gently. 

“You alright, cherub?” He was drunk, you could tell. He only got more inventive with nicknames after a few. 

“Who’s this cheeky chappie?” He leaned forward, extending his hand to shake the man’s.

“Jake. And you are?” He looked annoyed and you smirked internally. 

“I am Rudy. The great and incredible Rudy. Here to offer and provide my services.” He shook Jake’s hand vigorously until he pulled his hand away forcefully. 

“Man’s got some grip!” Rudy exclaimed before laughing wildly. You noticed out of the corner of your eye, Abbey had returned to the bar but you didn’t spare her a proper glance as she walked right past the table and over to where Jess was chatting to Alex. 

“I’m gonna get a drink.” You blurted out, interrupting whatever story Rudy was telling Jake. Jake stood immediately, offering to get you a drink. You declined politely, not wanting him anywhere near you. You squeezed past Rudy and walked over to the bar, leaning against it when Abbey noticed you. She approached you warily, her clothed arm touching your bare one slightly. You yanked your arm away, making her sigh in annoyance. 

“Who shoved a stick up your arse today then, huh?” Abbey remarked, rolling her eyes when you scoffed. 

“I don’t have a stick up my arse, thank you very much.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at her, feeling your stomach doing flips at an alarming speed. 

“You’ve been giving me dirty looks all evening, you barely spoke to me during community service today, you don’t seem to be paying attention to me unless I’m with a guy. Not to mention you’ve barely touched any of your drinks. Rudy’s been drinking them all according to Jess. Babe, you know you can talk to me, right?” Abbey tried her best at sounding sincere but it came off as condescending. 

“I’m alright, thanks for the offer though, babe. “ Your anger began radiating off of you at an alarming level. You had to leave. You pushed past Abbey and out of the bar, feeling the cold air hit your bare arms and face, your skin immediately reacting. You rounded the corner down the alley to catch your breath. You heard the bar door open and close, praying it wasn’t Abbey. 

“Hey, I saw you leave… Are you okay?” It was Jake. He approached you, boxing you in against the wall of the bar. One of his hands braced the wall next to your head, the other almost touching your face. 

“I-I Yeah. I just- I just need some space. Please.” You tried to remain calm but he was too close for comfort. You could feel his hot breath against your cheek as you tried to pull yourself away but he had you trapped.

“I think you owe me an apology. You weren’t very nice to me back there, you’ve been eyeing me all night, you can’t deny.” He pressed you up against the wall with his body, his thigh sliding itself between your legs. You squirmed, trying to push him off of you but you had no strength against him. You hadn’t even seen him before he sat down, you didn’t want to chat or get to know anyone. 

“Stop. Stop! Get off me!” He just pushed you into the wall harder, feeling the brick wall’s harsh surface against your back. 

“I don’t think so.” His hand found your hair and pulled harshly, exposing your throat for him to bite and kiss roughly. You wanted to scream, to cry, to do something but you knew you’d risk losing control if you did. As his lips touched your skin you could feel his anger, his resentment towards your unofficial rejection. His desire to overpower you. It made you want to vomit. His thigh began moving between your legs, creating unwanted friction. 

“I can feel how desperate you are, god you are pathetic. Such a pathetic little whore.” He slammed his thigh against your core painfully, making you whimper. The hand bracing the wall moved down your body, moving towards the hem of your jeans. As his hands moved to undo the button, you could hear the bar door open. 

“Keep quiet.” He whispered against your cheek. He attempted to kiss you but you pulled your head away violently. His hand wrapped around your throat and squeezed, making you cough. 

Someone began to walk round, recognising the sound of Abbey’s boots, you prayed she’d find you. 

“Babe, can we talk? I think we…” As she walked round the corner, her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. She was furious, and you hoped it wasn’t aimed at you.

“What the fuck?” She glared at you incredulously. 

“Ab-Abbey please. Pl-please-” He squeezed tighter, making her wheeze painfully. 

“I thought you were different. I really did.” Abbey continued to berate you, approaching you slowly. 

“Turns out you’re a whore like the rest of us.” Abbey’s eyes held a glimmer of heartbreak, of sadness and you couldn’t hold it in. You screamed in pain when he began to touch you, the raw power of your emotions sending him flying across the pavement, landing on the floor with a painful thump. You fell to your knees as your screams died down, collapsing down into the pavement and letting the darkness take over momentarily.

You felt blinding hot pain sear through your body as you regained consciousness, making you writhe in pain as you returned to your own body. Your breathing was rapid and uneven, your eyes were clamped shut. You just exploded in front of Abbey. God, you could’ve hurt her, killed her even! Your pain was the least of your worries at that moment. You could hear grunting and groaning, someone yelling but it was distant. The blinding pain began to slowly subside, allowing you to refocus on what was going on. You slowly opened your eyes, feeling Rudy’s hand against your hair as he smiled at you. 

“Abbey! She’s awake.” He called out, you tried to speak but no sounds came out apart from quiet squeaks. Abbey rushed over, the panic in her eyes evident as she came into view. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry that I said those things to you but you needed to blow and it was the only way I could get you to react, I’m sorry.” Abbey’s hand caressed your hair softly. 

“It’s okay,” You croaked. You sat up slowly, Abbey’s hands immediately moving to guide you upwards.

“He’s only unconscious, he should be okay. You’re lucky there’s CCTV here. They can see everything.” Rudy pointed out and you nodded. You didn’t really care about CCTV at that moment. You couldn’t stop staring at where that man’s body laid unconscious. You nearly killed Abbey. You hadn’t noticed Abbey’s hand moving to hold yours, allowing her to feel what you were feeling, to know every detail of your emotions. She gasped at the intensity of everything but shared it with you, feeling your shoulders get lighter as her other hand moved to stroke your hair.

“Hey, hey… Look at me.” Abbey’s voice was calm, gentle as your eyes shifted from the unconscious body to Abbey’s familiar blueish-grey eyes. 

“I’m here, babe. I’m here.” Abbey made an effort to block your vision of where he laid as Jess and Finn walked out of the bar. 

“Oh fuck.” Jess’ voice was loud and brash as she observed the scene and Abbey turned to give her a disapproving look. 

“So she’s the only one out of all of us who has a power actually worth having? Fuck, that’s so annoying.” Jess walked towards the unconscious man and laughed, kicking his leg to see if he’d wake up. 

“Jess, shut the fuck up.” Abbey snapped.

“Yeah, Jess. Girls just been through the worst and you wanna mock her? Bit insensitive, that!” Rudy and Jess began to bicker as Abbey turned to look back at you, seeing tears gathering in your eyes. You looked down, noticing her hand which was holding yours had bloodied knuckles, the skin slowly turning purple with bruises. You couldn’t stop your tears from falling and noticed one landing on her bruised skin. The hand caressing your hair moved to wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into Abbey’s body tightly as you began to cry. You wrapped your arms around Abbey, pulling your hand out of Abbey’s to cling to her tightly. Abbey gently shushed your muffled cries as you buried your face in her chest. 

“I’ve got you, baby. I’m not going anywhere, it’s alright.” You could feel her lips press against your head, featherlight as she held you close. Jess, Finn and Rudy continued to bicker, but Abbey was more worried about getting you out of here. 

It was too loud for you, their arguing was hurting your head and making you cry more. Abbey could feel it, she could feel how tense and upset you were, your distress building up in her body. She was unsure how much she would feel, if it was only fragments or if it was wholly transmitted through your touch. She wouldn’t ask now, it wasn’t the right time. 

“Will you let me take you home, baby?” Abbey asked, feeling you nod against her chest as one of your ears settled against her chest. 

“I’m going to cover your ears. Need to tell these knobheads to shut up.” You nodded once more as her hand moved to cover your other ear. Their arguing muffled, her warm hand cupping the ear not pressed against her chest. You squeezed your eyes tightly as Abbey began yelling at the other three, but remembered you were safe in her arms. 

“OI! Would you lot shut the fuck up? Your arguing isn't helping her and you’re making her feel worse,” they all fell silent, noticing you shaking in Abbey’s arms and Abbey’s own angry demeanour, “I’m going to take her home and make sure she’s okay.”

You felt her hand come away from your ear as she removed herself from you. You couldn’t stop yourself from whimpering slightly at her pulling away but she was quick to stand, offering you a hand to pull you up. As you stood, your legs were shaky but Abbey was quick to wrap an arm around your waist. Her lips found your temple as the others mumbled half hearted apologies towards you (apart from Rudy, who was genuinely sorry and worried about you).

Abbey began walking away with you close by when Rudy rushed up behind them. 

“Uh… Could you, like, let me know when you get back safe please? And Abbey, don’t leave her alone tonight, yeah? She’s gonna need someone there for her and I think you’re the best one to be there,” Rudy tried to be sincere but missed the mark.

“I will, Rudy, don’t worry. I think I need to have a chat with her when we get back anyway.” Abbey smiled at you sweetly but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at her. She was probably going to reject you once you got back to your flat. Rudy handed Abbey your small bag too, making sure all your belongings were there before you both set off. 

Abbey was gentle the entire walk back, her hand on your waist distracting you from any other thoughts trying to permeate your brain. It was soft but firm, her thumb stroking softly. Your flat was a 15 minute walk away from the bar you all frequented, but it felt like 2 seconds with Abbey. The moment you entered your home she let go of your waist, turning on lights and helping you remove your shoes by the doorway before removing her own. Your apartment was small. The kitchen and living room combined in one space, with a small bathroom and slightly bigger bedroom. It wasn't amazing, but it was home. Abbey admired the decorations as she guided you to your sofa, smiling at how it already felt like home to her. It felt so perfectly and completely you, it felt safe to her.  

“Can I make you some tea or something?” You asked her, trying to be a good host. As Abbey sat you down, she exhaled a laugh. 

“Sweetheart, don’t you worry about me. I’ll make us some tea, yeah?” Abbey’s hand cupped your cheek, pressing a soft kiss against your skin before walking to the kitchen. 

She felt electrified when her lips touched your bare skin. It was warm, soft, and full of deep love. Love you’d hidden from her for far too long. As she made tea, she watched your nervous form on the sofa, noticing your foot tapping continuously against the floor. Abbey felt guilty, knowing she was mostly the cause of your distress. She’d pushed you away and messed with your feelings, being so overly affectionate and caring but never taking it any further than holding you. She never considered how that would mess with you or your feelings, but she’d never felt this way about anyone. This was all entirely new. 

As she brought both your drinks back to the sofa, she realised how much her hand hurt from the punches she gave that guy. Glancing down as she settled your cups onto your coffee table, she saw how bruised her knuckles were. You couldn’t help but notice too. 

“Your-your hands… you need to ice them. I think I’ve got-” Before Abbey could stop you, you’d rushed into the kitchen to find something in your freezer. You quickly grabbed a random bag of frozen vegetables from a drawer, wrapping it in the tea towel you had discarded by the sink this morning and returned to sit next to Abbey. You placed it on top of her bruised knuckles gently, feeling guilty when she grimaced at the initial contact. 

“I never did thank you,” You began, avoiding eye contact with her choosing instead to stare at her hands. 

“For what?” Abbey was genuinely confused, what were you thanking her for? Beating the everloving crap out of the man who tried to hurt you? You didn’t need to thank Abbey for that, she would’ve done that for you in a heartbeat, no matter who it was. No one hurts you and gets away with it.

“For- for helping me. And getting me to explode at him, I-I don’t want to think about what might’ve happened had you not-” Her free hand moved to cup your cheek, her thumb stroking softly. 

“Let’s not think about that, you’re here with me. You’re safe, no one’s gonna hurt you like that ever again.” Abbey tilted your head up to look at her, your eyes darting down to her lips then back up to her eyes.

“I- I know you know. How I feel, I mean.” You needed to tell her it was okay if she didn’t want to be with you. It would hurt like hell but you would manage. 

“Babe-”

“No, Abbey. It’s okay. I know you felt it… I did too. I don’t want you to feel like you have to be with me or like me in that way. Just because you know how I feel doesn’t mean you have to… y’know.” You hated this, her knowing but not feeling the same way. It stung more than you thought it would and you weren’t sure you could handle it. 

“It doesn’t matter. None of it does, I don’t wanna be a burden or hold you back from being with the person you wanna be with. I’ll move on, I know I will with time. You don’t need to worry about me, you can find someone else. We don’t have to be around each other either, if it’ll make things eas-” Abbey’s lips captured your own, not wanting to hear anything else. You made a conscious effort not to touch her anywhere else, scared of overwhelming her with your emotions, but when her other hand drifted up your loose top to caress your back, your hands reached for her immediately. The frozen vegetables fell to the floor as your hands held her waist, trying your hardest to keep your emotions in line when Abbey pulled away, a few inches from your lips and whispered against them.

“Let go, baby. Let it all go,” She encouraged as she kissed you slowly, deeply, and you couldn’t help but let your emotions go. You let them wash over you and pass gently through Abbey, before they dispersed into the air. It was the first time you felt like you were in control. Abbey felt your overwhelming emotions gradually fade into something more manageable, something you could control. The hand cupping your cheek moved to take one of your hands on her waist, your lips moving in sync with each other as her tongue gently explored your mouth. Your stomach was full of butterflies, fluttering around as her mouth slowed down and moved back to more tender kisses. 

“No, baby. I don’t want anyone else,” she said between kisses, “I don’t want to move on, I don’t want to see you with anyone else. I didn’t know what to do… I’d never felt this way about anyone and I was scared. Scared of getting hurt but terrified of hurting you.” Abbey confessed. You struggled to believe her, but when her hand squeezed yours tighter you could feel it. Abbey was telling the truth. Her nose brushed yours gently as she stole another kiss. 

“Seems I’ve already done that though, haven’t I?” Abbey asked, melancholic with her tone. 

“No, no Abbey. You didn’t hurt me, I should've been honest with you. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you… or if you even liked girls.”

Abbey pulled away a little further than before and you yearned for that close contact with her once more.

“I think I did more to hurt myself but I’m glad you know. I’m assuming you feel the same way too?” Your voice betrayed you as it quivered slightly, but Abbey once again reassured you with a small kiss. 

“I never felt right with guys and not just the sex, it was everything. There was never a connection. With you, everything feels right, there’s no confusion, no doubt, no questioning it. I thought about it on the walk back, how I never felt right without you by my side at the bar, how I always felt comfortable talking to you about anything and everything at community service. I know Laura didn’t want me around but it didn’t always feel right, but you do.”

You felt more tears spring to your eyes. Abbey was so excited when Laura came around. When she found out she was her imaginary friend brought to life, she felt like she knew why she existed, she finally knew her purpose. But when Laura began to feel uncomfortable and rejected her , Abbey couldn’t understand what had happened or what she’d done wrong. Laura had created her so surely she was meant to be with her, but when Laura turned her down it made her question her existence altogether. Why was she here if she wasn’t meant to make Laura happy? Why did she exist if that wasn’t what she was made for? It hurt her more than she cared to admit and found herself asking these questions every day.  Then you fell into her life. Everything made sense again. She didn’t want to let herself get hurt again but, more importantly, she didn’t want to hurt you.

“You’re the one for me, babe.” Abbey smiled, pressing one more kiss to your lips. You smiled in response but failed to stifle a yawn in the process.

“I think you need to get some rest baby, c’mon.” Abbey stood, pulling you up with her. You immediately crashed into her body, hugging her tightly as Abbey reciprocated. 

“You’ll stay with me… right?” You asked, worried she’d leave you alone.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” She pressed a kiss to your hair before guiding you to your bedroom. 

The room was painted soft green, your bedsheets matching with a few decorative pillows and one or two squishmallows sat on top. It was clearly lived in, some clothes strewn on the floor, jewellery sat on top of a dresser covered in different products. Your bedside table was messy, a water bottle sat next to the lamp and a pile of 3 or 4 books were propped up by a fake flower pot. 

“I’m sorry it’s such a mess right now,” Your face flushed as you realised you’d left your clothes in a heap on the floor after your rushed shower this morning, including your underwear. 

“It’s alright, don’t worry. Let’s get into bed,” Abbey helped you shimmy out of your jeans and into your pyjama shorts, turning away as you removed your top and bra to put your sleep shirt on. Abbey then guided you to your bed, lifting the comforter up and watching you slide into your bed. Before Abbey could move away, you looked back up at her with those pleading eyes and she couldn’t resist. 

“Can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?” You nodded, pointing at one of the draws on your dresser. She grabbed the first one, changing into your oversized plain black shirt. She was so beautiful and you blushed when she removed her jeans, her slender, toned legs were gorgeous. She left her underwear on before turning to face you, crawling up the bed before settling next to you. You wrapped yourself around her, feeling her featherlight lips leave kisses along your neck and jaw. 

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” She whispered against your cheek, kissing your soft skin. As you cuddled her, you felt safe. Her scent was soft like vanilla and slightly almondy, bringing you more comfort as you settled in to sleep. Once Abbey saw your eyes gently shut, she pressed one more kiss to your temple, her lips ghosting your skin as she spoke one last sentence before you drifted.