#aabbookshelf

It was three in the morning...

You asked me if I still want to see you.

"really? You're doing this right now? What kind of game are you up to? To ask me that in this unholy hour?"

And you then told me about this weird dream that woke you up.

You dream of me leaving you.

You woke up sweating with a weird feeling as your heart beats so fast.

You then told me to never leave you.

It's amazing how you can pull yourself from bed everyday despite of all the problems, depression, pain & shits that life is throwing you.

It's amazing how you still fight despite of how life is throwing you shits

FIRST LOVE. What is it exactly? For some, they consider it as the happiest day of their lives. Some would tell you, that it was like a roller coaster. Wherein there were many ups and downs— but still together for couple of years now. But for some, their first love was their first heart break... And then, there comes a time when I wonder if what really hurts for them: to know that your someone is dead or to see him or her with someone else. Or maybe both?

My love for my family is unexplainable. My family is definitely my happiness. But when I met my first love, I found a different level of happiness. I know it was a major sin when I committed to a relationship with him. In fact, I don't even know if the Almighty could forgive me for this. But I hope He knew how sorry I am. If I could only turn back time... But swear to God, having him in my life that time was something I couldn't explain. He was actually the best part of my everyday. I was always excited to wake up in morning to read his sweet good morning messages. And to end my night with his sweet good night text like there's no tomorrow.

I might had crushes on some guys back then, but I never did imagine spending my life to anyone. But only to him. He was never my ideal man. Really. He was someone a girl doesn't like to be with. He is this bad boy, hard-headed, playboy, and a short-tempered boy who hates school. In fact, I don't think if he has ambitions and plans in life. In short, he's suchlike a gangster. But he, my not so ideal man, was the one I unexpectedly fell in love with. It was all unexpected.

Until changes happened. Strangers turned to friends then to lovers. We spent days together that turned to weeks, months and then years. We were so happy that we couldn't express it. We often go out, but it isn't a hindrance for us to show our love for each other. Through texts and phone calls, we're like together each day that passed by.

Until something happened again...

It all back to their place. Lovers turned to not-even-friends and then turned to strangers.

You know your birthday is not yet done, when gifts kept on coming.