everything about shin soukoku makes me sick
atsushi seeing akutagawa in a position so deeply relatable to him and seeing that glimmer of humanity behind the exterior of a fighter and actively sacrificing himself for that small hope. he who constantly believes in akutagawa's humanity despite the world that burns around them, he who gives him the chance while taking away his own-
atsushi seeing dazai through akutagawa's lens for the first time and the knowledge that akutagawa does not merely choose to be like this but that it's the only option ever left for it is so ... (sounds of crying)
their similar situations giving them an understanding such as that, in typical circumstances, only they could have for themselves, by witnessing akutagawa's past for himself
how does it feel to know someone like you do yourself? how does it feel to watch that suffering, understand it, see through it and yet still have hope for more? what kind of faith does it take to not only see that hope but throw yourself in the jaws of death for it?
nothing about them is casual and i love it but they have ripped my heart from its chest and im gonna cry need them to be alright and happy and together in a better timeline where everything is alright so bad im crying
