#a) future

𝐃ó𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬

(𝘥𝘰-𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴, 𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘯)

The phrase meant something to me long before OFMD. It’s the repeated line Cecilia says to Robbie in Atonement.*

Come back to me.

Stede’s saying literally, Wake up, don’t die. Physically, be here. But there’s more to it.

Both stories contain happiness followed by horror. Coming back is an emotional state, which can be difficult when the memory of that horror lingers.

Come back to me is about forgiveness, healing, and trust. It’s letting go of what haunts you- sometimes within the relationship, sometimes externally - and believing you’re safe to love again. It’s not easy. Atonement says it’s not possible, but Our Flag says it is.

Come back to me is trying to recapture some of what existed before too. And even though Ed and Stede can never truly leave each other, I think it takes Ed a full episode to ‘come back’ to Stede. The coming back begins in the couch scene, and is helped massively by Stede’s attitude and emotional intelligence. By the episode’s end, Ed has pretty much ‘come back’, helped also by Buttons’ message of change.

There are caveats to that coming back though, because healing takes time. It’s more a spiral than a line. I’ll come back, but please can we take it slow? I came back, but I might need to leave again because I’m unsure of your own ‘coming back’ situation. Ed won’t risk giving more than he can emotionally afford to lose at this point.

Pic Credit: S2promo recolour @ofmd-ann

The real coming back is during the beach-battle scene when Ed and Stede choose to run towards each other after working through parts of their trauma separately in episode 7. Both remember that if you don’t risk anything, you may risk everything. They might need to come back to each other over and over throughout their lifetimes, but these two always will.

Stede and Ed will always come back to each other.

Her mate. Yes, she knew it without a doubt.

The glass top of the pod opened, and then Renki and Davit leapt gracefully onto the pier, Brann and Ace running for them—It was pure love and joy, the embraces shared between the boys and their fathers. Renki had tears of relief running down his face, and Davit was holding both boys to him as if he'd never let them go again.

But Davit did let go. He crossed to Lidia in two strides and wrapped his arms around her, too.

"Thank you," the male said, voice choked with tears. "Thank you." Renki was there the moment Davit pulled back, hugging her as tightly.

Lidia found herself smiling, even as her heart was again aching, and leaned away to survey her sons.

They were both considering her, Brann frowning deeply, Ace more unreadable. It was the former who said, "So this is goodbye?"

Lidia glanced to Renki and Davit, who both nodded. They'd spoken on the phone yesterday to coordinate this reunion-and what lay ahead.

"Until things settle down a bit up here," Lidia said. "Above the surface, I mean."

It was the best Lidia could hope for.

Now, Lidia glanced between her sons and added, "But l'd like to see you both again. If that's okay with you."

Brann nodded, and she had no words in her head as he walked up to her and threw his arms around her.

Her son's scent, his warmth and nearness, threatened to bring her to her knees. But she managed to stay standing, knowing Ruhn was beside her, would always be there, supporting her, as Brann pulled back, grinning.

"You're a badass," Brann said, and added, "Mom."

Even as her heart glowed with joy at the word, Lidia dared glance over his shoulder to find that Renki and Davit were grinning as broadly as Brann. Happy for her-for all of them. Her boys had a beautiful family, and perhaps, if everyone had a beautiful family, and perhaps, if everyone was all right with it, it was one she could find a place in. Find joy in.

Brann leaned in, pressing a kiss to Lidia's cheek that she knew she'd cherish for the rest of her existence. Then he walked over to Ruhn, and Lidia could only blink as Brann threw his arms around Ruhn, too, hugging him tight.

"Thanks," Brann said. "For what you were gonna do. To save us—and our mom."

Ruhn clapped Brann on the back, and Lidia's chest filled with so much brightness she could barely contain it all. "No worries," Ruhn said. "All in a day's work for us Aux grunts."

Brann grinned, then walked back to his parents, hugging Renki again.

Lidia glanced to Ace, who was watching her warily. Knowing he wouldn't rush into her arms as Brann had, Lidia walked up to him. Slowly.

Giving him time to decide what he wanted to Ace held his ground, but his eyes weren't cold as he said, "Thanks for coming for us." His mouth quirked to the side. "Take care of yourself."

"I've got Ruhn watching my back," Lidia said, glancing to Ruhn. "I'll be fine."

"He shot you," Ace said, frowning at Ruhn.

"I shouldn't have told you that," Ruhn muttered.

Lidia smirked, but faced Ace again. "He'll pay for it, don't worry."

Ace didn't look so sure, staring Ruhn down for a moment. But when he began walking toward his dads, he stumbled, as if ... Lidia glared at Ruhn, who whistled innocently at the sky. Fine—let him keep his mind-speaking secrets.

Lidia offered them a small, hopeful smile. Her fingers found Ruhn's, and she gripped his hand tightly. Ruhn didn't let go.

Her sons were alive, and free, and in her life again, and it was more than she'd ever hoped for.

Is it so hard to love someone for who they are?