#a personal statement

Since you, Mind, think to diagnose Experience As summer, satin, nightingale or rose, Of the senses making sense - Follow my nose, Attend all other points of contact, Deserve your berth: My brain-child, help me find my own way back To fire, air, water, earth. I am, in fact, More than a bag of skin and bone. My person is A chamber where the elements postpone In lively synthesis, In peace on loan, Old wars of flood and earthquake, storm And holocaust, Their attributes most temperately reformed Of heatwave and of frost, They take my form, Learn from my arteries their pace. They leave alarms And excursions for my heart and lungs to face. I hold them in my arms And keep in place. To walk, to run, to leap, to stand - Of the litany Of movement I the vicar in command, The prophet in my country, The priest at hand, Take steps to make it understood The occupants Assembled here in narrow neighbourhood Are my constituents For bad or good. Body and Mind, I turn to you. It's me you fit. Whatever you think, whatever you do, Include me in on it, Essential Two. Who house philosophy and force, Wed well in me The elements, for fever's their divorce, Nightmare and ecstasy, And death of course. My sponsor, Mind, my satellite, Keep my balance, Steer me through my heyday, through my night, My senses' common sense, Selfcentered light. And you who set me in my ways, Immaculate, In full possession of my faculties - Till you disintegrate, Exist to please. Lest I with fears and hopes capsize, By your own lights Sail, Body, cargoless towards surprise. And come, Mind, raise your sights - Believe my eyes.

So You are following me! That's great. Here's a bit of information you may need to know if you'd care to role play with me:

If you follow me and I don't acknowledge it, it's because I don't do "So-and-so is following you" threads. Throw me a starter, tag me in it, message me. Any of them are fine if you want to do something. Otherwise I don't know if you want to rp or if you just want to follow me

I'm personally trying to push myself to do better writing. I'd like to try and have posts of at least a paragraph or two. I understand they fluctuate depending on the action that is happening and inspiration for the scene. I'm fine with that, really. I just want to get the most out of my writing.

I am only following people who actively role play with me. It is nothing personal, truly. I just need to try and keep my dash uncluttered. If I stop following you and you want to still play message me I don't bite. Honestly I'd love to plot something new with you.

Speaking of plots, I am trying to keep plot in my threads. I don't mind fluffy things here or there, but I'd like to work on character development or playing through interesting and challenging situations. I am more than happy to work with you on something and find a plot we are mutually interested in.

fuck you for doing this to me. fuck you for raising me to be a confident person and then when one thing changes you alter your complete personality and become and complete CUNT of a person.

you know what. FUCK YOU for telling me I could always do what I wanted in life if I worked hard enough. fuck you for telling me you believed in me. fuck you for telling me I was more than good enough. a HUGE fuck you for saying you'd stand by me and support under ANY circumstances. fuck you for promising me you'd be there when I needed you.

and fuck you for breaking every single promise you ever made. fuck you for building me up to be a confident vibrant person then destroying me completely. fuck you for tearing apart my heart then being bewildered when I say FUCK YOU.

fuck you and him for deciding one day that maybe I'm not good enough, or worth it or that you just don't want to support me anymore.  FUCK YOU for one day going from being the only person in my life that I loved through and through, the only person I trusted 100%, the one person I could look to in any situation and the one person that ALWAYS believed in me and inspired me, to being the most HATED, foul, distrustful, horrible, degrading, humiliating, hugest mistake in my life. people always told me not to trust you. It's unbelievable that I was never able to see through your putrid lies until now.

I have never felt so much anger and disgust in my entire life until you did this. To be betrayed and abandoned by one of the ONLY people in my life that is actually blood related to me... is more than I could handle at that time. So if you expected me to break down and become a pathetic excuse for a human being, like yourself. You have got another thing coming, because I am going to do anything I can to make you feel like you've made the biggest mistake of your life.

One day, maybe a few months from now and maybe in 10 years, you will come to the realization that you lost the only person in your life that mattered. One day you'll be alone and expect me to come crawling back to you with the words 'i love you' coming out of my mouth.