#911kin

There’s something so heart wrenching yet special about only discovering your queer identity in your 30s. It feels like lost time and missed experiences, but it also feels like relief and true self love and understanding.

Thank you to my first boyfriend, Tommy, for helping me understand that and taking the time to let me grow and figure things out without judgement. I know it’s hard to be so many of someone’s “firsts.”

Early on, I was SO nervous and SO afraid of my friends finding out. I always had an exterior sort of persona and this went against everything that persona was to me. My sister Maddie was the first person I properly told, and then my best friend Eddie. They were both so accepting and I couldn’t wish for anything more than that. And later when the elder lesbian of the friend group, Hen, found out, she made sure that I knew she had my back no matter what. Tommy and I even did a few double dates with Hen and her wife, which was wonderful.

My parents were a lot less understanding about having a bisexual son, but it is what it is. We were never close. Maddie’s acceptance meant more to me than any rejection they could throw at me.

Maybe I’m just simmering in my feelings, thinking about this tonight, but it truly changed me as a person and I’d never take it back for a second.

- Evan Buckley (9-1-1)

Might have a kintype from 9-1-1 but I'm not sure how to tell A. if I actually do without taking advice of people from the fictionkin subreddit and dropping the hyperfixation as if it's something you can just do (dropping a hyperfixation) and B. if I indeed do how can I figure out who the heck it is when I don't have any memories-of-the-kind-that'd-make-clear-who-it'd-be and everyone's so close and interconnect-y (yeah I've seen all those posts about how they're like one-relationship-or-two-turning-poly-and-Buck-getting-adult-adopted-by-Athena away from all being a literal firefam as in relatives-by-blood-adoption-or-marriage) that if any feelings of mine towards certain characters/situations could be kin-related or headcanons of mine could be memories-manifesting-in-an-unconventional-manner from some-time-and-place divergent to canon or canon didn't show it's hard to determine who they came from (e.g. was I especially traumatized by a particular character's near-death-experiences because I was them or because I was someone close to them who was worried sick when they went through them or if any of my headcanons truly are kin memories manifesting that way do I know something about a certain character non-kin who watch wouldn't know because I was them or because I was someone close to them who they told that secret or w/e)