#7hv

_______ This is the first thing I thought This is the last thing that I want You were the first one I loved You were the first love I lost

You left it too late To change the way I think I'll never say never again Those words will never ever pass my lips --- I never knew how people wound up in a bar In the middle of the day Broken souls or broken lives From the choices that they made I didn't know how much I had to lose When I threw it all away But I do now, I do now Oh, I'd give anything If I could just go back in time somehow I wouldn't break your heart, I wouldn't break those vows ---

noun

the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

I’ve never understood how people end up in a bar in the middle of the day...

Krennic watched the ring spin again; an endless loop of gold metal - the way even though he knew its size and shape it seemed to twist and break. Fitting for the situation, he thought and sighed. It slowed, the loops changing from entwining into one, to the single gold frame that declined to balance on its edge and fell with a clear sound - refusing to give up for a few seconds more before lying still.

He took another sip of alcohol; the kick sending a shiver to his system that he liked as he picked the ring up between his fingers again, and with a delicate spin started the whole process again.

I do now...

 *

You. Not that he would ever do this to forget you. On the contrary the more he drunk the more you filled his head. A book full of life lessons - some of them hard - could be written on what had gone on between the two of you. You were everything he’d ever wanted. Both submissive to everything he said, and controlling when you wanted to be. You broke his heart as much as you made him love you - as much as you fuelled an obsession he couldn’t fight and didn’t ever want to stop. And he hurt you too, because he could. Because he got jealous, possessive… because sometimes he had a quest for revenge and took it too far.  One endless circle, like this ring.

 So why was he here? In a little bar on some planet he didn’t much care for, let alone remember the name of. And why was Krennic trying to think of things to be thankful for? Because he simply had a lot to be grateful for when it came to you. Because as much as you fought, and drove each other crazy, you loved each other. At least, he hoped you did. And when Krennic was like this he couldn’t stop thinking about you. He leant his head in his palm and spun the ring again; the sound of it scratching across the surface of the bar as it twirled in place likely driving the other patrons crazy, but he didn’t care. One more sip and the drink was done; but he didn’t pass his glass to the bartender, merely held it out as the liquid was replenished. 

Gratitude.

Hard to show. Even harder to feel? Even cursing your name Krennic didn’t feel like it was hard to feel. Because he felt he always went about showing it wrong. Every time you’d picked him back up after a hard day, or being shouted down, every time you’d stayed and listened to his ranting, every time you’d loved on him to make him feel better... or feel something... you’d taught him so much that he couldn’t even think right now about how innumerable this list actually was. The way you would kiss him exactly when and where he needed it without him even having to ask. And the way you never made him say thank you; because you knew he was...

Krennic never thought he’d be grateful for fighting with anyone before you either. Long, passionate arguments - that never got physical, but with the sharp, brutally painful blows you often dealt each other, it sure would feel like it. But he learned how to wait it out, how to say just the right snarky thing at just the right time. How he wouldn’t even need words, just exactly the right look and he could finish and argument and win it. And Stars, how he needed that at work.

You also had a habit of sharing information with him. Information that was so vitally important in your remit of work. Both of you were in intelligence, and in that crisp white uniform. Of course, that on occasion led to you both turning up to work in jackets a few sizes different to usual. But that didn’t often matter, because you got to be surrounded by each other all day.

The secrets that otherwise passed between the two of you were each other’s to keep. And as far as he knew you both did. And with some of the things that had passed between you, he was surprised. Staring at that ring hard as this time it refused to fall; as it stilled it remained upright - and he spun it again, recklessly, to make sure it fell. With what you knew you could tear him down brick by brick. And he knew he’d never get up again from that. Dead and buried - if not even literally.

 Krennic mused this for a long while; how his gratitude was boundless... but his words were not. How he would think saying something like that would show weakness. That would be exactly why he was where he was now. By design caring gave you a bonded strength. In numbers, even if his first thought would be he was better off alone. Perhaps not on the battle field; but secretly he would always hope to not see you there. Protecting you could come at too great a cost...

 As soon as he felt a presence in front of him, he placed his hand over the ring and slid it from the counter. You didn’t see that the action attempted to say - even if he’d been doing the same thing over and over for hours... He bit his lip gently, followed by a small tongue roll and his sorrowful blue eyes raised from the dark wood to your face. Your arms folded, even though you wore a frown your expression was intrigued. You nodded to the counter “Someone special?” “That would be of very little consequence to you...” “Better than me?” He almost smiled; “They’re alright, yeah.”

It was good enough for you, for now. “Seems like an awfully lonely place to find yourself, Director...” you looked around, a couple of people who looked like they belonged here sat at a table at the back. A few other patrons scattered made him 1 of 5; and the only one sitting at the bar. He rose from his seat, finishing the last of his glass; “Perhaps. That doesn’t make me any less deserving of it.” “I think you do yourself a disservice...” “As do I.” But those blue eyes were still staring at you, so he wasn’t talking about himself. He paid his tab without even attempting to find the bar tender again and walked slowly along the length of the bar. You fell instep - but that physical barrier between you felt like the one you were really both putting up. You supposed you both had your reasons. If the rules of the Empire weren’t reasons enough...

You slipped under the end of the bar as you both made for the exit, both in silence and with the lack of a physical barrier you still maintained the gap between you. There were things you wanted to say to him. That you thought would slip away forever if you didn’t tell him now. But you couldn’t; so maybe they would have to. He was like having a mentor - and in a game you were both playing he was the only person you could trust.  You had much to thank him for; as much as enough political backstabbing to actually want to run a dagger through him yourself. But you forgave him for that; because you got to watch him shine... and Orson Krennic was at his best when he was shining. (Without noting that you also got to pull all the strings here too...)

 Outside the sun was shining and you both had to shield your eyes against it from the dingy little bar you’d both just spent time in. You noticed the ring hadn’t quite made its way back to his finger yet. “I would advise against the Empire finding you day drinking... Director.” He huffed; “Am I supposed to be grateful you did?” You gave a shrug, he was still just as mad at you as he was himself. “Better me than Tarkin...” Orson scoffed and turned back around “I don’t have enough in my system for this.” “I just don’t want to see you in trouble.” He paused at the honesty and his eyes flicked to yours - with heartfelt clarity. He could be, and bring out, the best of times and worst of times. But it was a balance. And it worked out for the both of you; somehow. You cared. You did it because you cared. And that was as much his reasoning too... he just hoped you knew that.

Krennic looked back to the door and swallowed hard; you weren’t going to move; he knew you were waiting for him to make his decision. And he couldn’t let you watch him do this to himself. He sighed, defeated and took a step back. But it was only a step, and his head bowed and his eyes cast back to the floor. So now you would wait for him to move. Still downcast his eyes traced back to you; and somewhere he found the courage to actually say it. “Thank you.” Your eyes widened a little in shock; what for? Dragging him out of a bar?  “... for your love...” Oh. Surprising. “...it is... the best and worst thing that ever happened to me...”

His hand delved back into his pocket and the gold band glinted in the sunshine; “you give me so much to be grateful for... I can’t ever say it enough...” Orson slipped it back onto his left hand and rolled it thoughtfully between his fingers for a minute; “to the point where I think I just can’t say it...” he turned his body to you, and inclined his head; “So this might be that one time that I must.” His eyes met yours “I thank you...” but even yet, he turned away “but it may be a while before I am ready to return” his eyeline flicked over his shoulder; “enjoy your day, Y/N.”

And so you had to watch him walk away, with a smile and a shake of your head. You respected his feeling towards this enough not to follow. Thank you - it resounded in your head a couple of times. He said he didn’t say it enough. But he didn’t have to, because you knew. Of course you knew. It was always in his actions, always, even if he couldn’t see that. You turned to head in the opposite direction, with a quiet laugh to yourself. And in the same way he just had, you ran your thumb gently over the gold band that matched his;

No Orson, thank you. --- SIX Virtues down. SIX. Guys and Gals! We’re almost there!

__________ I feel insane every single time I'm asked to compromise 'Cause I'm afraid and stuck in my ways And that's the way it stays So how long did I expect Love to outweigh ignorance? By that look on your face I may have forced the scale to tip Shame pulses through my heart From the things I've done to you It's hard to face but the fact remains That this is nothing new... I'm losing the fight, I've treated you so wrong Now let me make it right I'm not insane, I'm not, not insane… Come back again, it's almost easy (You learned your lesson) Come back to me, it's almost easy (It's still your fault) Come back again, it's almost easy… --- Power & control I'm gonna make you fall Power & control I'm gonna make you fall Women and men, we are the same But love will always be game We give and take a little more Eternal game of tug and war Think you're funny, think you're smart Think you're gonna break my heart Think you're funny, think you're smart Yeah, you may be good-looking but you're not a piece of art ---

noun

the quality of having a modest or low view of one's importance.

Whispers spread like wildfire. You expected that from the second you got on stage. Bitchy bickering. Or complaining you guessed? It always happened when Dave caught your eye, or your wrist after your act was finished. “Meet me later...” You knew what that meant well enough. You didn’t need him to tell you. Mind you, Dave caught your arm so often his fingerprints might as well have been imprinted into your skin.

It wasn’t that they were jealous of you. Probably the contrary; that didn’t stop the whispers though. And tonight, as you changed, they seemed to be a little louder than usual; “I mean who the hell does he think he is-!? Walking around like he’s better than us?!” “Like he owns the place!” “He does own the place... but still, fair point. We do all the hard work!!” “People come for us - he only ever sings!” “And that’s only on bloody occasion too - not every night!” “We have way better work ethic-! I bet he doesn’t even PAY us fairly.” “I bet he pays himself better than us.” “...Well, he might pay some of us well then...” they all turned around to you, and you saw that from your mirror. You sighed, here we go again. Couldn’t be for love... had to be for money... You supposed it might not even have been for love... maybe just for company... but he wasn’t paying you for your time. They turned back around, whispered muttering you couldn’t hear that made you focus back on your mirror.  You caught the paper tacked there out of the corner of your eye. Dave’s writing; “Room 3”. You took a deep breath. A little part of you was always a little nervous about it. Dave had very distinct moods; if this wasn’t a good one, it might give you problems... “Oh! Y/N..!” They turned back to call your name and you turned, pressing you lips together to even out the lipstick; “Mm?” “Come here a second.” You sighed and stood; this could only be bad. “What’s wrong?” “Nothin’, yet. You seein’ Dave tonight?” Well, they knew you were so it was a stupid question. But they wanted affirmation. “Yes...” “We got an idea...” You didn’t like this one bit already, “Right...” “But we need your help.” You folded your arms, eyes narrowed in suspicion; “Why?” Rob gave you a look like you were dumb; “Because you’re his favourite! He trusts you.” No, you thought, you were his favourite right now. Next week that could all change, especially if someone newer younger and prettier walked in. Dave was always down to seduce the next big thing. “...Well what is it?” “Well, you agree. He thinks he’s great. Right?” “Yeah.” He did, on occasion, get this smug kinda swagger about him that annoyed you.  Clearly not as much as it annoyed them though. “And it’s getting a little out of hand?” “Maybe.” you didn’t want to seem decisive on this “Maybe?! C’mon Y/N don’t be amicable - he thinks he can do whatever the f*** he wants. We gotta stop this before we can’t anymore.” “Well what do you want me to do?!” “He taking you to a room tonight?” You glanced back to your mirror “Yes.” “Give him a taste of his own medicine.” “How?!” “What room?” “Three.” They all looked at each other for a minute, and suddenly you didn’t like the smirks they were all giving each other; “Shells, huh?” That didn’t really bother you. Dave had a remote, sure, but you knew him. “Yes?” You wondered where this was going. “Lock him in one.” “What?!” that sounded about as crazy as they all looked. “Yes! That’s such an excellent idea!!” “You guys do realise the lock mechanism keeps you safe right? And that he has a remote system too?” Rob tipped his head knowingly “Aw, like as if a girl like you can’t wrangle the remote from him?” You frowned at that - yeah, you guessed he had a point. “And… what am I doing this for?” Kat scoffed; “yourself for one!” You almost dared shoot her a look, but Rob cut in before the cat fight could start “The good of all your friends here! Our eternal gratitude? To feel good! Put him in his place? Y/N the list is endless!” You noticed no one was offering up a monetary reward! You shook your head with a smirk; “Okay. But I’m getting bragging rights for at least a year, I get a longer routine AND-!” You put your hands on your hips and turned to Rob, “I get to be the MC. At least a couple of times.” “Well, you gotta prove you did it.” Your smirk only grew; there’s one-way glass isn’t there? You’re welcome to watch.” All of them opened their mouths, hesitated, and looks appeared on their faces which let you know they realised exactly what that would entail. “Bring us the remote and any other proof you can. We’ll take it.” “Alright, you’re on...” you held out your hand to shake; Rob took it, and everyone else grabbed your handshake. You winked; “You guys better be thinking of how many precious seconds you can shave off... I’m coming for them.”

 ** Only that meant by the time the show was over, and pretty much everyone had left. Except the huddled group, because they wanted to make 100% you were going to go ahead with this; you were even more nervous. You could do it sure, but did you want to? Dave was good to you, forward sure - but a good man. And he took care of everyone here. Even if he had a kinda self-important attitude. Still, you saw their point completely. He usually got what he wanted; there was something alluring about him, and you probably weren’t the only girl he’d taken an interest in working here. You’d heard the words ‘Dave Situation’ often enough. In fact you probably weren’t the only girl he was seeing right now. But, you were his favourite.  Apparently.

He stood watching you wait patiently for a few minutes. Leaning on the door frame, with a smile. Such a good girl. But Dave knew that already. He scanned the room, frowning a little at those still loitering. He knew who had clients tonight and who didn’t.  That caused him slight annoyance as he stepped into the dressing room, calling your name. You turned instantly with a sweet smile and he walked towards you. Dave had an energy almost unreadable, that uncertainty gave him power and he knew it. His eyes traced the group who had allowed pause in their talking; “You can go home, right?” He looked between them, “I don’t pay you to stand around here, you don’t earn commission chatting either. Go home. Get rest.” “Yeah we know what we need to do to get paid around here.” You didn’t visibly wince at that obvious shot at what was about to happen between you and Dave; but he simply furrowed his eyebrows. Saying nothing he turned back to you; “You ready?” “Mmm!” You nodded and stood gracefully. “Good... let’s go.” You turned to the group again with a wink; watch this!!

 * 

You always thought that the electronic female voice telling you to play safe was a tad ironic, considering the catered to audience. And you thought that shell safety was a little bit of a joke too. Dave, after all, did have a remote that overrides the lock in system. Who said he didn’t have more he could give out for the right price? You wouldn’t have thought he would though. Even Dave didn’t seem like the kind of man who would put you in danger for money. He waited for the lock to click in place on the entry door and then was on you. Leaving you little-to-no time to take a breath, you found yourself pushed up against the wall in less than seconds. You weren’t wearing a heck of a lot anyway, but your thin coverup didn’t last long - floor - you weren’t about to let him get away with something like that without going for it yourself. Where the hell would he keep his remote, though...? Maybe you could get him to give that information up... You made sure to let him know you didn’t want him wearing his suit jacket too long either - floor. He’d already done the work on his top two buttons, allowing you to push his shirt collar back and kiss his neck.   You got a kick out of the sounds he made, and the way he gripped your hips tighter “...Y/N...” Oh! Well, if you could keep him saying your name like that... You bit him just hard enough, and pushed him back. When he conceded a step you knew this would be easy... it couldn’t have been many to the shell, push him in and lock it, and your work was done.

But Dave wanted your lips back on his. So he pulled you to him, hands running as much of your body as was within reach with you pressed up against him like this. Oh god- Dave... Yes-! He knew exactly what he was doing. He’d certainly never wasted his time with getting in tune with you. Okay, so what if you pulled him to the shell, if you lulled him into a false sense of security... You turned him, tugging him closer to you by his shirt. And your moans were are real as his were. He’d deny you his fingertips if he thought he could. There was nothing quite like the way he touched you. Dave chuckled, as he realised where you were heading. “My, my, so eager?” “Yes...” you pitched your voice at just whiny and needy enough for him to give it to you. “Good girl.” ...c’mon a few more feet... You paused just in front of it and broke his trial of kisses. “What?” You looked between his eyes; it was strange to think that for once this man had no idea what was coming.  You shook your head, kissing him again - this only soft and gentle... and you knew you were asking for forgiveness before you’d even done what you were going to. You took his hands in yours, turning him on the spot. Perfect. Best guess on where the remote was and you could do this; and it’s not like he would mind your hands on his body. But that kiss confused him. Being so different from the rest as it was... he didn’t have time to quiz you though; because you pulled him again, this time undoing a few more buttons, you ran your hands down his body. That picked his groan back up. He wouldn’t have dared leave his remote in his jacket... that ruled that out. It wasn’t in his shirt pocket... that left his pants. And Dave was left handed. “...Careful...” his whispered against your lips as your hands had to run that low; “...don’t make me call you a bad girl just yet...” Only he would be. Considering. The second you found it you broke the kiss - and pushed him. It was pretty hard and athletic for you, but still.  He realised what you’d done far too late and the door closed on him.

At first he sighed, and then laughed; “Oh I see...” but he didn’t. “Funny... let me out.” You at least gave a playful shake of your head “Y/N... don’t make this hard on yourself...” your eyes flicked to his hands searching his pockets. He still thought he had the upper hand. And there was a sick sort of pleasure in watching his face change as he realised he didn’t. “Wh-!” You held the remote up; “Looking for this?” He slammed his hands on the plexiglass - clearly unimpressed. “C’mon, Y/N!” You at least laughed a little, folding your arms “Nah, I think it’s good for you...” Dave’s face changed again, and you’d never seen him look so vulnerable; “W...why??” Your eyes flicked to the club above your heads; “They all think you need a taste of your own medicine. I say they probably have a point...” you threw the remote behind you. You wouldn’t need it for at least a minute; “... I have to watch you... now you have to watch me...”  You tilted your head “...The crew thinks you think you’re too good for us. Guess you have that air, but just because you’re in charge doesn’t mean...” you weren’t even sure Dave was listening as he looked around the enclosed space you’d now trapped him in. If he was looking for an escape route, you could happily confirm for him there wasn’t one. You continued “...I guess they think you have an attitude problem they’d like you to tone down... Me? I’m just not sure I hold your attention... or could ever hope to hold it... and I’m not sure how that makes me feel. But certainly not good. You can’t always do whatever you want and expect it not to have... consequences...”

 Dave sounded like he was laughing, half hysterically. Like all the words you were saying meant nothing. All jokes for him. Only you realised with horror he wasn’t laughing. Dave was having a full on panic attack. SHIT HE’S CLAUSTROPHOBIC!!?! “Oh my god!! Shit!!!” You turned around; with the nonchalant way you’d chucked the remote it could be anywhere and you, nor he, really had the time for you to waste. “Shit! Dave! Just hold on!!!” Damn the seedy lighting in these rooms!! Eventually it glinted at you from a corner and you couldn’t run to it quick enough. Running back to the shell you never thought you’d heard anything that gave you as much relief as Shell Unlocked

Dave all but collapse into yours arms; gripping you tight. “Baby... baby... hush... hush. It’s okay... it’s okay, I’m here...” you sank down onto your knees, cradling him close to you with soothing tones; “Breathe... sweetheart... just breathe...” if you could regulate his breathing, hopefully you could help him calm down. ...well that wasn’t exactly the humble kind of attitude you expected to evoke. Sure you wanted him to meekly beg you, before you to let him out with an agreement that he’d bend to what the guys wanted. So you could put him on his knees and call him a good boy and feel whatever power he did. But this was more like humiliation. And you weren’t so sure he deserved that.  Also, causing a panic attack was the last thing you’d wanted. That was such an awful thing to do. You had a sudden horrific thought; did they know??! Had they asked you to do this because they knew?! It took him a little while to calm down, and he was still clinging onto you even then. “I’m so sorry...” Dave shook his head gently; “Is that how you feel...?” He nodded to the shell “...when you step in that?!” “I’m not claustrophobic, so no. I’m fine... but Dave I’m sorry. If I had any idea...” “That’s why they asked you to do it, isn’t it. Because you didn’t know.” “They do?!” your heart sank and you felt slightly sick – they really had come up with this plan to set off his claustrophobia then… But they didn’t think of you either, did they just expect you to let it happen to him and laugh it off? It hurt you that you’d hurt him. “They probably have some idea...” his breathing was still deep; “Did you mean what you said?” You ran your hands through his hair “We don’t have to talk about that...” “On the contrary... I thought you put me in there to talk about it...” He let out a small laugh “...Good negotiation tactic, I’ll give it that.” You moved your hands slowly as you dared down to his chest. To feel his pulse, under your fingertips - the way it was calming down. Thank Goodness.

Dave lay in your arms in silence for a good while; his only movement a shift to get more comfortable... and his hands found yours, clasping them with a gentle, dare you say affectionate, squeeze.  You bent your body and kissed his forehead with care, making his eyes flick to your face and one hand reach up to touch your cheek. “What are you staying here for?” “I’m staying for you. I want to make sure you’re okay.” He shook his head, with a chuckle that seemed almost out of place; “Is that what it is?” “Mmmm…” You couldn’t help but place your hand over his and fit your fingers between the spaces in his own. “You’re a good girl.” “I...” you wouldn’t disagree, neither would you agree with him. You just humbly bit your lip and dipped your head a little more; “...Can I get you out of here...?” He let you help him get to sitting up and then you stood together - still holding hands that way. “Yeah... sure. What you thinkin’...?” “Room 5?” Even he raised his eyebrow at your suggestion of the bedroom. “Why?” “It’s a little more comfortable that the floor...” you nodded to the shell, “It’s considerably lacking in claustrophobic spaces...” Dave chuckled again; “Aw, she’s good and smart too...” This time you conceded quietly; “I try my best...”

 **

 Your idea with bringing him in here had nothing to do with taking your clothes off. This was much more neutral; it would give him a safe(r) space to just calm down, chat... rest easy...

You shut the door and waited for it to click into a locked position. Please play sa- “SHUT UP!!!” You chided the female voice with annoyance and turned back to him; “Seriously? Do you know how annoying that thing is?!? And talk about IRONIC!!” He sat on the edge of the bed and threw his jacket over the chair “...It’s supposed to be fun! But I’ll take it into account...” Dave ran a hand through his greying hair, and loosened two or three more of his shirt buttons. “But I don’t like your use of the word ironic...” “Safe is about the last word I would use sometimes... this room...” You folded your arms, watching the way his fingers grazed against the fabric of his shirt a little too closely. Ah! Maybe this was a bad idea! You shook the thought away “…This one is something different. This is what goes on between you and me... but the shells, and some of these other rooms. Because of the barriers, I reckon people think they can do whatever they want without consequence.” You walked over to him slowly “Just because I know I’m locked in there, doesn’t mean I feel safe if someone is screaming things I’d rather not repeat, and trying to get me out...” Dave looked a little perplexed at that; and you figured he either was pretending he didn’t know, or he simply thought if he ignored it it wasn’t happening. But his gaze dropped from yours as you sank onto the bed next to him, so you knew he was taking responsibility for it in his head. As he should - as the establishment owner. “I’m...” “Sorry?” You shook your head “It’s a little late for both of us to say that tonight... don’t you think.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” He places his hands on your thighs, over where your own were resting. “Would you have listened?” You gave him a hard look, to let him know you weren’t messing around when you said that. He gave a sigh “...I wish I wasn’t even considering that I might not...” You tipped his chin back with your fingertips, so his eyes faced you; “...We both have a few things to work on, huh?” “What do you have to-!” You placed your finger to his lips; and you got a few seconds satisfaction of having them back on your skin; “I should never have agreed to do it...” He took your hands in his again - he wanted that physical connection too, it seemed - and those grey-blue eyes studied you; “...God, I must be truly awful for you to agree to do this...”

 You weren’t sure he was. That was the problem. Maybe he had good intentions that just didn’t work out. Of all the men you’d interacted with here (besides your colleges), Dave was the only one who cared, and took care of you. Who made you glad that you got to be here with him... and even more glad no one else could. You gave a gentle shrug “Maybe I had stupid selfish reasons...” Dave caught on straight away; “You think I’m seeing someone else.” “Are you?” You tried to not look so hopeful that he’d deny it. “It’s not... like this...” that confused you; because it was neither a yes or a no... You bit your lip “I don’t share well...” That only made him sigh again; “Seems we share that problem.” “Who is she?” “Not you...” “That’s not an answer.” “I know. It’s much less than you deserve. But I am also not at liberty to say...” That had you turning away from him, so he pulled you back - “Y/N... I promise you... you are the only girl I am intent on actively seeing.” “Good. Because I’ll put you in the box again and throw away the remote otherwise.” There was a stalemate of staring for a moment; Dave cracked first; “And... that would be fair...”

The sexual chemistry of the evening had long since passed, and he looked like he was doing a lot better... but you still craved some of that promised intimacy. “Will you hold me..?” “Now?” He opened his body to you; allowing you to wind your arms around him and thread your legs with his “Of course... it is the least you deserve...” Dave could say that all he wanted... but it was obvious he needed it as bad. When he felt you were secure around him, he lay back on the bed; caressing your hair he whispered gentle apologies against your skin. You closed your eyes gently to that - and this once; because of the feeling of him against you like this - you wouldn’t tell him they weren’t good enough.   “Ah-! Shoot!” You broke the silence in a way that had him laughing “What...?” His voice was still soft, and he pressed kisses into your forehead. You opened your mouth with a breath, and then covered it; “No! You know I still feel terrible..! Buuuut...” “Buuuut..?” He repeated with a smile “... I promised them I’d prove I did it...” you muttered with a pout “...Gosh, I’m awful...” Dave snorted “Okay, darling, where’s your proof coming from?” You tipped your head, and couldn’t resist the tease; “Guess you walking in tomorrow looking a little shaken would do the trick, huh?” “Don’t push it...” he growled gently, tracing his kisses across your cheek and jawline “...I said I’d get the remote...” He pulled back, eyebrow raised; “How would that prove it?” “I have it, which means I got it from you and locked you in there, as dictated by the plan...” He propped himself up on his elbow and couldn’t help but look amused “...oh, really? Interesting...” “Uh huh. But that means asking for it back...” “Oh.” He shrugged “Take it... you deserve your proof...”

You were surprised by that - he’d just been through a personal hell but he was still going to tell you win? “Oh you don’t need-” “Consider it a favour. I owe you enough, don’t you think...?” Dave ran his thumb over your lips as he held your chin to keep your gaze on his. “Y-Yes...” you couldn’t help but respond that way to the glint in his eyes. And he went back into his pocket; holding out the remote for you. He chuckled; “You go prove to them you did... I’ll go work on myself... and we’ll go from there. What do you say?” You smiled, taking the remote gently from his hand and looking back to him, lacing your fingers with his once more; you asked him for a kiss and he granted you with what you wanted. Pushing his forehead to yours he kept you barely millimetres apart, tangled up together. “I think... that’s a good idea.”

______ I heard you were back in town Oh well, it's been a hot minute since me and you were hanging out Yeah, we had that crazy kind of chemistry Where you get burned, don't learn, don't care Just reach for another match and gasoline

Better hide the wine, and get it gone Oh I better hide every one of them records that turn me on  Turn up the lights, and kill the mood 'Cause baby I just don't trust myself with you I better hide the wine

Well I know me and I know you... Oh oh with one sip, one tip, we'll be sitting on the couch You'll be kicking off your shoes Oh knock-knock, here you come a-knockin' on my door But you're gonna have to wait another minute on the porch Oh no, no, it's a dangerous thing Pouring alcohol on an old flame ---

noun

Abstinence from alcoholic drink.

Temperance is defined as moderation or voluntary self-restraint. It is typically described in terms of what an individual voluntarily refrains from doing.

You knew the game. How many times had you played it? Too many. But this time, this time, you swore not to get dragged into it. You wouldn’t play. No matter how hard he tried to get you to. No matter how much you wanted to. And you always wanted to. But it went around and around. Ever since you’d been much younger. Ever since he’d caught your eye, and you his, around Foundling House. Before he got a fancy title; and attire to go with it. When he was young and angry, and would sneak you to the roof with the best bottle of wine he could find, and he’d yell to let of steam. He’d yell for the sake of yelling… like he did now. Except back them he didn’t have the authority to make that yelling go anywhere. Now he did. When the yelling was over, and the bottle was finished, you’d both sneak elsewhere. And that’s what you always looked forward to. He grew up and moved on. Sort of. He was older than you and could do such things. Still surrounded by so much he hated, sometimes he would return to where you grew up. To where you knew him back when he had a name, not a title. And that was dangerous. Because he would always carry with him a good bottle of wine. One thing would always lead to another and the next thing you were aware of there were clothes all over the floor, and you were back to the familiarity of the warmth and scent of his body. The sounds he made. The sounds you made – but only for him. You longed for that as much as he did. But that was all it was. On and off, and on and off again. Never serious; you were sure neither of you wanted anything serious as it was. But that didn’t stop you thinking you could move on. And it didn’t stop him from coming after you. On rare occasions, very rare occasions, you would be called to him. To Nottingham. And it just so happened that when a rider and invitation appeared at your door; you were called again. This was worse. At lavish parties that the Sheriff hosted you couldn’t escape alcohol and you couldn’t escape him. And it was alcohol, wasn’t it? That made you unable to resist each other. Because it never seemed to start with anything else. Sure, you didn’t have to attend. But that would be rude. You liked to remind him who he really was. Of the company he used to keep (that you bet he wished he still could keep). To alleviate the boredom. Especially on his side; what did he do all day anyway? This time though you had vowed, no drinking… You wouldn’t goad him, or tease him, or hell, even want him. You would take it like two friends catching up. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to hold on. But holding on to him for your entire life? You were fairly certain that at some point you should realise that this was all it was going to be. He’d be married eventually; you were surprised the Church hadn’t coerced him into that yet… and you had met someone else. But, that also wasn’t serious. Trouble was, you had a feeling that this one could be something, could develop into something, that whatever you had with the Sheriff was not… So you accepted the invite. And when the time came you made your way to Nottingham. And this time you were nearly intent on avoiding him entirely. If not for any reason other than to torture him yourself.

*** Your dress flowed gently behind you, off-shoulder and low cut, pulling in at the waist you knew exactly what you were doing by wearing this. There wasn’t any point wearing anything inconspicuous anyway, he’d still find you. In which case you might as well flaunt it; show him what he couldn’t have. Or what you were intent on denying him. If you could. Avoiding him wasn’t as hard as you’d imagined. This dress and the way you’d dressed up tonight drew people to you. Those who didn’t know you wanted to find out exactly who you were. Those that did clearly wanted to talk to you for other reasons… What was certainly unusual for you, was every drink you were offered you refused. There was nothing better than being offered or bought a drink. Especially from charming young men who might well make the Sheriff jealous. But then he’d cut in, obviously scare the other man off, you’d both be drinking and one thing would lead to another, meaning you’d wake up in his bed again. So there was absolutely no way a drop of alcohol was passing your lips. Having said that, you weren’t actively trying to avoid him; you actually wanted to make eye contact and tease him, but also make sure he got nowhere near you. Having said that it wasn’t hard; everyone always wanted to be all over the Sheriff – female or otherwise. And for a multitude of reasons. But the only one he wanted to be all over, or to be all over him was you. And tonight you weren’t playing. He’d seen you – oh, of course he had, how could he not? – wandering this party looking flawless… But he hadn’t been able to escape the usual crowd, or the Lords, yet. He wanted to escape this as quickly as possible and go over to you. But every conversation he dismissed had him falling right into another. And it was frustrating because he so desperately wanted you. Of course he invited you as a friend, but, that wasn’t what you really were. And when he’d received your acceptable note back, the Sheriff knew exactly why you’d come. For exactly the same reason he wanted you here. Because he craved that intimacy. To talk to someone who would hold him close, and listen, and understand, and run their fingers through his hair. No judgement, no opinion (at least not one that would oppose his. Usually you saw his viewpoint completely… Or calmed him down.), no strings. He could love on you as much as he wanted, and it would never be anything more than that.

** Eventually of course he caught you, so you had no choice by to converse with him; “Would you like some wine?” “Uh, no. I don’t think so.” “That’s very unusual for you… Let me get you something…” He snapped his fingers to beckon a waiter over “NO. No, trust me… I won’t be drinking a drop.” “Well, we can’t all be expected to follow suit, can we? Come on, I’ll have something, you should toast…” “Toast what?!” You looked around you, “A successful party? I can do that without alcohol.” You weren’t sure you liked the small smirk on his face; “Oh? Can you really? What are you worried about; I’ve seen you when you’re very, very far gone before – what happened? When did you get boring on me?” “…I’m well aware of what you’ve seen when I’ve been drinking…” “OHHHH – Is that what you’re worried about…” He pulled himself in closer to you; “Like that isn’t the reason you came here…” “Its-” “In that dress…?” The Sheriff’s voice was dark and husky, and you thought you might need a real drink to still everything. “…Huh, Y/N…” You couldn’t hold his eyes, no way, but that made your eyes focus on his chest; all the toning underneath all that wool and leather. You swallowed hard, and he noticed “That’s it… Don’t deny it…” You took a breath, and somehow with it came the courage to face those cold blue eyes. Not cold to you, but everyone else; and they were darker now. And you knew why when you could feel him this close to you. You loved watching them change like that; maybe this time around you’d missed your chance; “I’m not confirming or denying anything… But I’m certainly not drinking.” “Surely you won’t object to me drinking…?” “No.” Although you did, if this was going to work you’d prefer not to have him basically hanging all over you due to the amount he’d drunk. Because you were still supposed to be making sure what you both wanted didn’t happen. But, mmmmhn… The scent of him, the heat you could feel that you so desperately wanted to be wrapped up in now you were here…  He wasn’t touching you, but God, you knew it would feel so good if he did. Instead his hands were behind him, keeping his back straight. You had to bite your lip to stop the small moan escaping your lips at the thought of leaving scratches there… He could see it on your face, and that made him bend towards you; “Come on… Y/N… Tell me why you’re here…” It was weird, for him to be here, this close and talking like this and no one seeming to pay any attention. Because they sure had been paying a lot of attention to the both of you separately. Had he told them to leave him alone, had he told them to leave you both alone? You shook your head, because if you opened your mouth he’d know you were an outright liar – or worse, the truth would spill. But that only made his smirk broaden and then he did pull you into him, and you gasped. “Tell me.” “You know…” “Of course I know…” he kept that voice at a steady almost-growl “…I want to hear you say it.” “NO.” “Why not?” “Never!” Suddenly pulling you to him wasn’t enough, he had to touch your skin, taste your lips. Have you in any way that you would have him. So you found his lips on yours. And your hands on his coat didn’t push him away; but pull him in. But this was wrong; so wrong. It was exactly what you couldn’t allow yourself to have. What you didn’t want… But damn you wanted it so bad. You could taste the wine on his lips, and realised that your promise of no alcohol was quickly being thrown out of the window. Eventually you came to your senses enough to push him back; this was wildly inappropriate in the public eye. What the HELL was he doing?! “Control yourself!” Now your voice was at a growl and your eyes were fierce “We’re not sneaking around at Foundling House anymore…!!” “No we aren’t, my darling… But we could still do a lot of sneaking…” He raised his eyebrows as if to make a point, just in case you weren’t getting it. You let him go and took a few steps backwards; “Sneaking…?” and you finally smiled “I’d like to see you do any sneaking any more… Sheriff…” But now you’d had your first taste, your first sip and you craved more. But if he got to kissing you here, you’d be at the bar, you’d drink... it’d get messy... If you got to kissing elsewhere... Hold on, Y/N, kissing shouldn’t even come into this... the whole point was not to be caught up in him tonight. But then the Sheriff had a point; why did you come? if not to get tangled up with him, literally. Nottingham wasn’t your style, so it made very little sense for you to want to come here for any other reason. Parties where alright but also not your scene so... he was your only reason. And you could tease him all you liked, but what you should have expected was retaliation; him to tease you back or him to really go for it. And he did, no mercy... You kept your eyes trained on him and his on you as you hurried to the hall doors. You turned, one last glance. The choice was his. He followed you and you both got what you wanted, or he didn’t and you left knowing you’d done what you’d prescribed to yourself as the right thing. Did you even know what the right thing was? One last look to determine if he was brave enough and you slipped through the door. Of course he was. It would be stupid to think otherwise. And you weren’t far down the corridor you were making your way down before you heard footsteps. But that just made you walk faster... Suddenly the second echo stopped and you paused, when it didn’t pick up again you turned.  The corridor was empty. You took one step forward, puzzled. Was it even him you had heard? Who else would it be? But if so where did they go?! They weren’t walking up the other hallway, you could see this corridor stretch ahead of you. And you hadn’t heard a door open, although there was one almost adjacent to the one you had walked through. You became unnerved to realise that the sound you could hear was your own breathing, and your heart beating in your ears. You almost sounded scared; unless it was exhilaration? You continued watching the corridor, intrigued and listened out for anything that could possibly signal that anyone else was around. Sheriff of Nottingham or otherwise. In one swift movement from your left your question was answered, although in the dim lighting you couldn’t see exactly who had grabbed you; it caught you off guard, but your attempt to shriek was stifled by a hand clamped firmly over your mouth as you were dragged across the corridor. Your back came into contact with a stone colonnade and you protested again at the way it pressed up against your back.

You came face to face with those blue eyes - now shining silver in the light that made its way in

“If you wanted me alone why didn’t you just say so-!?” He hissed, removing his hand from your mouth you didn’t have time to retaliate before he replaced it with his lips. And once again you were met with the sweet intoxication of alcohol. Ugh, give me my Sin again He tangled his fingers in your hair and didn’t show any signs of stopping the kiss. Well, now you knew exactly where you were you didn’t feel like stopping it either. And your hands ran fervently from his chest to his neck; pulling him ever closer so that his body pressed up against yours again. He broke the kiss for respite, but not from you, and you could have killed him. “To be honest this has not gone according to plan!” “Oh?” Instead he kissed your cheek and down to your jaw line “And why is that? Don’t tell me you don’t want me!?” “N-no...” Although your protest sounded more like a whine of delight “...just like I don’t want any alcohol...” “Ah... I see...” His lips found your neck and his head pushed yours to gain exposure. And now your fingers ran into his hair and you tipped your head back for him. Ugh! I hate you! I hate you! You’d been doing this so long he knew your body like his. And what you really liked never changed much in all those years. “You’re attempt to abstain was a valiant effort...” The Sheriff whispered against your skin “...But sometimes we just have to give in to what we want most...” You didn’t have enough fight left in you to retort with Oh? And that’s you is it?! “Well, if it has to be one or the other-”

You gasped as he lifted you from the ground; back still up against the colonnade his hands slipped under your dress to grip your thighs as his lips found yours again. Some resistance Y/N... well, if you weren’t going to resist you might as well join in and not miss out. Your hands found the clasps on his jacket and afterwards the fastenings on his shirt with ease. This was almost second nature. You wrapped your legs around him to another growl that reverberated (delightfully) through your body. You almost smirked into the kiss as his hands travelled further across your skin; pulling you further into him - but this time accompanied by the slightly harsh grind of his hips into yours. You had to break the kiss, you had no choice but to moan his name at that. Damn! He chuckled “Always the same...” “You best not be complaining...” your voice was pitchy and breathless, you didn’t just want him now, you needed him. “On the contrary...” His fingers slipped into your underwear and your moan was louder now. “Mmm...” the hum was satisfied; “I thought so...” This time you almost glared at him, but it didn’t last long. I HATE you!! Why did he make you feel this good? Why did he always make you feel this good?!?

He continued to touch you exactly where you needed him to, and pleasure became elation. You were conscious of the party still; so even though it was loud in there you continued to stifle your moans. He wasn’t exactly happy about that, but you knew how to keep your mouth shut - you’d had to do it enough in similar situations - meaning no amount of grinding or growling from him was going to make you any louder. And that was a good thing; because the next thing you knew the doors swung open and light flooded your private little corridor. He dropped you instantly and pulled you around the colonnade. But the absence of his fingers made you whine louder than you’d been doing under his touch. You noticed how he still pressed his body into yours as you inched around the stone structure. A bunch of giggling, likely drunk, partygoers hanging off each other seemed to bicker with each other just outside the doors. You looked to each other with raised eyebrows as if that hadn’t ever been you once - and as the same thought crossed your mind you tried not to giggle like children yourselves, to no avail. You peered around the corner again “guess you still do need to sneak around Sheriff...” “Hush...” He nudged you gently, and pulled you back just a touch to make sure you weren’t spotted. “Leave...” He murmured it to himself, but his hot breath caressed your skin and nearly made you shiver as you watched them slowly make their way across the hall; nearly screaming with laughter as they stumbled over one another. “Leave...” his voice was a little more impatient as they once again stopped and began searching around for something. He sighed, and the pull of his body from yours made you turn to him; “Hmm?” His eyes traced your lips momentarily and the Sheriff smiled before he kissed them “I have a feeling if we continue here, we won’t remain uninterrupted for long...” You knew what that kiss meant; “Tell me what you had in mind?” He took your hand in his; “Come with me - I know just the room...”

 **

 You thought he might mean just a quiet room somewhere, as everyone was preoccupied, so many rooms would be empty for the entire night and possibly the majority of the morning too. But no. His room. that’s what he meant. And suddenly this was too personal and too intimate, and you should have been walking out of there, no alcohol in your system and no love from him. But you didn’t care. You weren’t drunk, but you were drunk on the way he made you feel. The door was barely closed, let alone locked and he was on you. Hands tangled back in your hair; he wasted no time in pushing you back towards his bed. Pulling you head back to once again expose your neck to him, his other hand left your hair to pull your dress down your arms and body. No, he really wasn’t attempting to waste time. Maybe he thought you’d change your mind. You couldn’t trust yourself, and you should have known that the second the invite came through. You should have torn it up and forgot about him, but you didn’t. You never had, you never did, you never could. So your hands found your dress too and helped him, almost impatiently, undress you. He released you for a minute, eyebrow raised; “I thought you weren’t doing this?” “OH SHUT UP!” His smirk accompanied his laugh, and he shrugged himself out of grey leather and wool – helping you with the fastenings of his black undershirt; “Why did I bother with the damn party?” “I think you were certainly thinking alcohol…”  You let him throw his shirt to the floor and attempt to pull his feet from his boots as you undid his pants; “No, no, wait – that’s not going to-” “Hush!” He nudged you back and kicked both off – but there wasn’t even enough time to stare at each other for a moment and get lot in it. No romance lost here… He grabbed you back into his arms and you both hit the bed; a passionate tangle of limbs and hot, breathless kisses. He was perfect… Every inch of him perfect. Although you couldn’t be sure at this point you were really registering him – given that you were absorbed in kisses – rather than anything else; that all seemed to be entirely subconscious… The Sheriff was flawless… the sex was flawless… His vibrant blue eyes both glittering and sinfully dark… A mixture leaving you lost for words before you’d even started…

 You couldn’t even describe how and what you felt. There was so much ‘pleasure’ that it was almost an out of body experience; you’d done this so many times and yet…this time left you wondering if this was actually happening… It was both too hot and yet cool; and completely sober you realised that you both seemed to fit together perfectly – his pale skin gliding smoothly over yours, creating fire at every point of contact. His kisses were deliciously hot, hungrier and yet still holding the gentle temperament that he always tried to keep with you…  How did he manage to keep control? You’d lose it if it wasn’t for him; but then again, you had lost it because of him…

That lustful tangle of limbs, an embrace; just a series of short kisses and even shorter breaths. His eyes were perfectly dark, passionate and they slowly became your point of focus…  You tangled your hands through his neat grey hair as he ran his lips over yours again… It was more than perfection… More than any excitement you’d ever experienced… More than bliss… There were no words anymore to describe the way this made you feel… HE made you feel…

His hand crept slowly down you left arm – although now calm… it still made your skin tingle as he whispered incoherent sentences in your ear. When his hand found yours you instinctively laced your fingers with his and kissed him again…You weren’t sure, and couldn’t be certain. Far too tired, and half way to sleep before the words passed your lips, but if you were to whisper anything to him then… Whatever you said…Not incoherently… Just purely honest… Too tired to remember and probably to care what kind of feelings were thus spilled from your lips, you just hoped that you had let him know how much he meant to you…

***

When you awoke to sunlight and his steady breathing you knew you’d made a mistake. You covered your face with your hands and let out a gentle groan. “Damn…” Staying wasn’t the problem, sleeping with him wasn’t the problem. Breaking a promise to yourself? You were just a little disappointed. You shifted your gaze to him, still sleeping but holding you strong in his arms and sighed in content; only a little… You gently brushed strands of his hair from his face and wriggled your body to nuzzle into his chest. As you might expect, the next thing you heard was the rumble of his laugh building there, and then running across your skin. His fingers danced across your shoulders as he caressed you, and you felt his lips against your forehead. “You stayed…” “You think I had a choice?” “…I would expect as such that you would leave.” “Are you kicking me out of your bed, Sheriff…?” Your enquiry was met with a huff; “No. I’m just used to your long string of babbled regret…” “Ah, well, usually I’ve been drinking and basically regret everything…” You sighed “Oh, I really did it this time.” “…How so?” He pulled slightly away from you so that he could gaze at you properly; tilting your chin so that your eyes met his “…I promised myself I wouldn’t do this.” “Oh, am I that unsatisfactory?” “NO!” You protested, disliking his slightly hurt pout, “No…” you took his hand in yours “…In myself… every time this happens we’re drinking and I…” you paused for a minute, and your face lit up in realisation; “But I DIDN’T DRINK!” “No, and how with all those people, I have no idea. I need your tolerance…!” You tilted your head with a smile; “Well, now I’m proud of myself. I did one thing right…” “Just the one?” You pushed the Sheriff’s arm at his cheeky smile “If I can keep half a promise, then that’s half a promise more than I expected…” But you’d realised something else; “…But… I always thought this happened because of the wine… Maybe that’s not…” you hesitated, biting your lip “…The issue.” “I fail to see any issue with this.” He kissed your face again, and continued to afford you butterfly kisses as you attempted to get an explanation out; “It’s unsustainable…!!” “Then stay…” His voice was soft, but that wasn’t what shocked you. “…Stay here, to be with me.” On receiving no response his eyes met yours again; “…Was that not a good suggestion?” Your eyes were wide; and for once there was something in them he didn’t recognise. He didn’t think he’d ever seen you scared before. You swallowed, blinking your fear away; “I- I can’t.” “Why?” He pulled you closer, as if you were about to scurry out of bed and leave him here alone “Well I… I don’t even really like Nottingham.” You took a deep breath and bit your lip again, this time leading into a smirk; “But---! I do think you could persuade me…” As expected, the Sheriff caught your wave length immediately, and caught your smirk with a teasing one of his own – leaving a chaste kiss on your lips before rolling you over; “...Oh, I think I know how...”

Me and her have something different  I really need all you to understand That nobody's coming close But you know I f**king love her now Like nobody ever could I'm sticking with my baby for sure Together or solo It doesn't matter where we are, So if you hear about my lady, just know  That she ain't the one to play with, oh no And I'll be standing so close So you know that... If you cross her, then you cross me  And nobody's coming close, yeah  And I think that you should know that If you cross her, Then you cross me

Now what you not gon' do Is stand there 'cross from me... Death stare, crossed arms, running your mouth like a faucet Blowing air out, wear you out, you exhausted Know she gonna slide anytime you bitches talk shit No one say hi to me without her Better pay your respect to the Queen Better do that shit without a flirt Gotta respect the HBIC Couple of things that you need to know If you still wanna be friends with me Just know, if you cross her, then you cross me Nobody's coming close, yeah And I think that you should know that If you cross her, Then you cross me Quit messin' with my baby for sure Together or solo It doesn't matter where we are, oh no, no So if you hear about my lady, just know That she ain't the one to play with, oh no And I'll be standing so close If you cross her, Then you cross me 

---

noun

the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.

Everything was ready. You’d been planning this evening for months. Not that it was particularly hard for you to get onto Krennic’s schedule; he’d always be clearing spaces for you if you asked nicely enough. But you were aware that sometimes those spaces would have important meetings either side of them, or that – when he cleared you a space - five minutes meant five minutes. Tonight, however, you had him all to yourself. Guaranteed. He’d told you that this morning; grabbing your hand and pulling you into his office… You shook that thought away quickly, flustered. You looked good, your make up perfect, dress flawless. You weren’t that type of person but even you were checking yourself out in the mirror tonight. You’d made dinner even, because you knew all his attention would be on you. There was a good bottle of champagne in your own quarters – ha, like you ever resided in your quarters anymore-! – that you’d dug out and was chilling. It was going to be the perfect evening. You were determined to make it so. Nothing could ruin it. Nothing. You’d had a great day at work too, you’d even been let off early. Things were going nice and smooth, and you couldn’t be more grateful. Obviously, you also shouldn’t have spoken too soon. Orson Krennic was not a happy man as he stepped into his quarters. Of course, you were busy when he entered so didn’t see him right away. “Hey-! You’re back-!” And not a second late either; when he said a time he usually stuck to it. You walked back through into the main living area with a beaming smile on your face; “How was your day at work?” “Heh. Let’s just not start.” Your face didn’t fall at first because even if it was bad, tonight could make it better. You knew he had frustrating days at work, and if you worked late how he’d always come to find you to just talk. You had the ability to always send him away with a smile on his face. You liked that as much as Krennic did. “Oh… Well do you want to talk about it?” “No.” He wasn’t looking at you either. But he’d put his data pad down on the counter and was scrolling through statistic sets that were making the scowl on his face worse. You took a deep breath and crossed to him. But even the tap of your heels on the flooring didn’t make him look up at you. That was unusual. He always liked to know what you were wearing… Usually so he could make a quip about taking it off… “If it’s only going to make things worse… do you think you should be looking at it right now? Baby, come and sit down… We can have dinner… and take your mind off-” “Y/N. Not right now, this is important.” You stopped short; Oh…. It wasn’t enough to put you off trying “Well… I mean, your health and mind is also important… Please… sit down. Dinner is almost ready anyway.” This time he did look away from the figures, but only to turn that scowl on you “I said not right now!” You bit your lip. Well… this wasn’t how the evening was supposed to go… You took another breath, because those hard blue eyes were still on you, but it was obvious he wasn’t about to compliment what you were wearing. “I just want to help.” “Well right now you can’t.” You gave a nod “I’m sure I can’t, these things you work on are amazing… It’s not my field either but… I don’t know if… Bringing it home is… Good for you.” “Home!?” There was a scoff “Home?! These are my quarters.” “I didn’t mean it like that… I just meant wouldn’t it be better that you did this at your desk? In a place where there’s no distraction?” “You think you’re a distraction?” He didn’t ask the question to make you believe you weren’t, either. “Besides. I am supposed to be spending time with you now. Like you asked. So here I am.” “…But your attention will be on your work… And, baby, if it’s important – I suggest you do it in your office…” His eyes flicked back to his data pad “I can’t guarantee when I’ll be finished.” You didn’t like to think about what dinner would be like by the time he had decided he was finished. Looked like you would reluctantly be eating alone – but you were still determined not to let him ruin your mood or your evening. He would come back to you, he had to. Especially if you refused to rise to an argument. “That’s fine. Now will you please go and do the work that so urgently needs doing… Yell at the people who have clearly done something wrong…” His expression twitched, and either you had hit a nerve or he was remembering that someone else hit a nerve. When he didn’t raise his voice to you any further you knew which one it was. “…Fine.” He closed his technology back up and turned back to you “I will see you… later.” “You will.” You affirmed it, to let him know he wouldn’t be getting away with leaving you that easily. With that he swept from the room once more and you found yourself alone again. You sighed. It appeared you’d be taking yourself to dinner. A few hours later the door reopened. You were staring at the stars from the viewing window, but heard the way he dragged his footsteps and the pad clatter onto the sideboard. Oh. He shuffled around the kitchen area a little more, before you heard him step down to join you. His footsteps were tentative; but he didn’t hesitate on wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your shoulder. He knew what he’d done “…I’m sorry…” “Oh? You’re apologising?” You kept your arms folded and your eyes fixed on the galaxy before you. Krennic didn’t nod, or agree with you. There was a tone to your voice that didn’t sound impressed… but you only half meant it. There were a few more moments of silence than he wanted; so he repeated himself “I’m sorry.” “Babe. I heard you the first time…” You rested your head gently on his and laced your fingers together “And I know. Rough days happen. That’s why I don’t like you bringing work home.” “It is home.” “Yes it is…” You agreed with his mumble, still into your shoulder “…Have you eaten?” “…Barely.” You shook your head “Well you missed dinner but I can make you something…” “No no… I don’t deserve-” You wheeled around so you were facing him “Hush! Don’t tell me what you deserve or not. Don’t talk like them. Hard days happen. Like I said… But that’s how you feel. Sometimes I want to put my fist through a screen… I can’t stop you from being frustrated at someone… I just… wish you didn’t…” “You didn’t deserve that.” You didn’t want to agree with him, but conceded “Yeah… But it wasn’t really aimed at me. I know that.” He took a step back, his body bent in curiosity “…How do you have so much patience?” “Because what would happen between us if I didn’t?” You smiled “Now please sit down, so I can at least have half an evening with you?” “Of course. I will… do just that…” He smiled gently “Can I at least… kiss you?” You smiled, “You may. If you tell me you went and shouted at those idiots.” “Well, it’s sorted…” He leant in and brushed his lips gently to yours. You kept your hands in his and followed his movement to pull away to keep the kiss for just a little longer. “Good. That’s what I want to hear…” You stepped away from him as he turned to the dining table. Krennic paused before he sat and looked back to you. He studied you for a minute with a smile; “You look beautiful…” You could feel that smile on your face... feeling lucky that your back was to him, you shook your head to suppress it just enough, and turned back. “Thank you!” *** Turned out during the course of your relationship, it wasn’t just Krennic who had to deal with idiots and assholes. Well, that wasn’t quite true. Usually if you had to deal with them it was ABOUT Krennic… Or rather, you forced yourself into situations that made them deal with you. Today, was no such exception; “HE SAID WHAT-!” “That’s just what I heard!” Your best friend and colleague held her hands up “WHAT THE…” You had to hold that word back for a minute “WHY-!? What the hell does he know-!? He’s not working on this project!” Apparently some lieutenant who thought he knew it all had been mouthing off that he would be able to complete Project Stardust better, and in a more timely manner, than your partner. Also, the man in question wasn’t an architect or engineer. Just some loudmouth who wanted to brag, liked the sound of his own voice – and figured trashing Krennic was a fashionable thing to do. Well, Tarkin did it enough you supposed. And you didn’t like that much either but there was only so much you could do when Tarkin did it. And most of that was just checking that Orson was okay. You didn’t have the authority to snap at Tarkin, and you couldn’t afford to dismiss your shift or simply piss the guy off. You could give your best glare, you supposed. But that was as far as it went. Anyone else was fair game. And boy, did you go hard.   “I… I don’t know, that’s just what I heard him say.” The look on your friends face clearly said she regretted telling you. But you were glad she did. Because no one was getting away with saying that about your man. “Where does he work?” “Oh no-! Oh-! No no no! I’m not watching you do this again.” “You don’t have to watch me, where does he work?” “What if they send you to disciplinary!?” You raised an eyebrow at her “I’d like to see them try.” “Try?!” Your look said Really!? “What part of dating a superior officer don’t you understand, if it even got to that point Krennic would have me out in seconds. Now answer the question.” She shook her head and didn’t say another word. Making you narrow your eyes; “You know I’m just gonna go find out, right?” “Yeah! But at least I’ll feel less like an accomplice!” In fact, you didn’t get around to looking him up until much later, just because you were so busy. And by the time you did get to researching exactly which station you’d be travelling to to give this asshole a piece of your mind, Orson appeared. “Who is…” he squinted at the name over your shoulder “Tazo Motti?” You didn’t even turn to him as you noted his floor number and work space; “A dick.” “Oh.” Krennic couldn’t help but chuckle; “Why? What did he do? Not something to you I would hope.” There was a or I’ll kill him myself missing from the end of that sentence. You shook your head and turned to face his amused blue eyes “No. And the line for beating this guys ass starts with me so…” He raised an eyebrow “What happened?” “That’s my business and nothing to concern yourself with Director… How’s it going?” “Eh. Slow… We have a couple of days respite to fix the ship starting tomorrow… I might head out to Geonosis again… Might stay… Can’t say at this point in time. But, I’ll keep you posted…” “Oh. Straight away?” “No. Why do you think I’m bothering you… Dinner?” “When?” “…Tonight… Tomorrow…” he brought up his schedule “… Either…” You thought about it, if you were all going to be on free time then you wouldn’t even have to bother finding Tazo’s work station. Just him. And you’d all be off duty, so, even less of a reprimand for you. “Tomorrow… might be better.” “…Okay…” He pinged you an invite “…Tomorrow it is… I shall find out what the options are on the base. Make reservations… We’ll be set. And now I’ll let you work… or…” he nodded to the screen “…Focus back on this asshole…” He looked again at his title “He’s not even in either of our remits.” You turned back to him with a smirk that was even less of a smile than if it was fake. “EXACTLY.” ** “You’re kidding.” “No.” “Y/N! You can’t!” “I can and I freakin’ will.” Your best friend wailed, following you off the ship and into the star port. An artificial planet like structure (although, not round like a planet should be) used for refuelling and repairing ships. The ship you were all currently based on had taken a fair few hits during the last rebel attack and would be here for a couple of days just to straighten out. Nothing too serious. But it was always best to check. You notice she didn’t stop you, which made you think really she wanted to watch whatever you would do to this guy. “Shouldn’t you think about this?!” “I have. ALL DAY!” You turned to her “You don’t have to follow me… I know what he looks like. This won’t take long.” “I’m not about to watch my best friend walk into a fight-!” “Fight?” Though you gave her a knowing smirk “Fight? Me-! Nooooo!” The sarcasm in your voice was a new level of high “Why would I do that-! I just want to have a nice friendly chat!” “Oh God-! Y/N! Why did I tell you!” “I don’t know. You should have known it’d come to this!” “You’re usually the calm patient one… I’ve heard the Director go off on one at subordinates before but you’re always so level… Except-” “Except when people think it’s okay to bad mouth my man. Exactly. You gotta let ‘em know…” you turned back and continued to walk across the metal structure “…that you won’t stand for it!” He wasn’t hard to spot. In fact he looked like the kind of asshole who got ideas far beyond his station. All talk. Time to see if he had any bite. You weren’t necessarily a betting girl but; probably not. “Tazo Motti?” He turned instantly from laughing with his friends to the sound of your voice “Yeah… Who’s asking…?” Then his eyes swept you “Oh… Wow. Now I knew I was good looking but damn. Girl.” You sighed inwardly. Really? REALLY?! “Actually I hear you’ve been talking shit.” You raised an eyebrow, “Is that true?” “What? Darlin’… You got the wrong man. But you got the right man for other things I could talk about.” “Really. From what I hear you think you can build our battle station better than the man in charge of the job. Is that correct?” “Who? Oh. Krennic? Yeah – that project would be done if I was in charge.” You were about to prove your friend wrong about fighting. He’d get three strikes... and you could get him to apologise and admit he was an idiot. But also, he’d just used those strikes in one sentence; it was amicable you’d let him continue this long. “Really? Last I checked you did communications. Whereas he’s both an engineer and an architect… and intelligence… AND a Director…” You tipped your head “What exactly qualifies you to do it better than him?” “Hell. Babe, you could work that project better than him. He clearly has no idea what he’s doing. Tarkin thinks he’s a waste of space and time and so do I-” Nope. You weren’t about to let this continue. You were strong with both hands so your first punch connected right; “THAT’S for calling me babe. I’m not your babe.” And the second connected even harder “THAT’S for thinking you are anywhere NEAR as talented as he is.” You brought your knee up into his stomach; “And that’s just for generally insulting him. To my face.” “What the F***-!” he just about managed “What the HELL-! WHO THE HELL-” His friends were all gathered around him now, all alert and looking ready to fight; “AM I?!” There was a fierce look in your eyes that dared them all to mess with you. “DATING HIM. ASSHOLE. SO you’re gonna f***ing take back everything you said, right now. Or what I just did will be the least of your problems.” He straightened; glaring at you.  “You going to make me fight a girl?” “Pft.” You scoffed looking him up and down “Fight me? Boy I’d like to see you try!”

 It was an irritatingly short fight; not for lack of trying. Only, the commotion brought unwelcome attention and officers rushed to the scene to drag you both apart – literally. Your friend, clearly looking to be as unhelpful as possible, hung back and looked nervous. You could imagine in her head she was about to tell you how she’d warned you you’d be disciplined for it.   “Cool off! Both of you, this is unprofessional. It’s a good thing none of us are in uniform...!” “She started it-! Krennic’s little bitch-!” Tazo looked like he was fairing worse than you, as he spat blood “Call her that again and she’s not the only one going to be hitting you.” The officer holding him back was stern. “ME-!” It took your officers strength to hold you back, and even then, he staggered – hell hath no fury… “ONE more word about Krennic and I SWEAR—!!!!” You didn’t care what he was calling you, calling me a bitch like it’s a bad thing? If that’s what it takes… “That’s enough!” The officer, whose name was Tully and you knew worked for Tarkin, had to get someone else to help drag you away. And soon enough you were pushed almost to the other side of the walkway. “You gonna calm down?” “I am calm.” Tully raised a disbelieving eyebrow as you brushed yourself off “If that assho-” “Alright, alright, I get it.” “Do you?” Tully was a good officer, he wasn’t really a friend but more than just an acquaintance, and every time you’d seen each other around you’d make a passing sarcastic comment.  You took a deep breath, taking it out on him wasn’t fair, but you were also kinda pissed that he’d held you back. “It’s just I see and hear people do this to him all the time. Tarkin? I can’t do anything about that – but these…” You held yourself back from swearing “… I hate seeing it. He doesn’t deserve it. Orson is doing his best just like everyone… He’s using exactly the same skill set as everyone else. But if he does it it’s wrong. Hypocritical! I just get SO mad.” “You hide it well.” And his compliment was genuine. “Until I snap. Today was one of those days…” You folded your arms “I guess I should thank you.” “No you shouldn’t.” He smiled “I don’t know many who would do what you just did.” He looked you over “And you didn’t fair too bad.” “He also called me babe…” “Oh. Then he deserved everything, should have said – would have decked him myself.” “On behalf of Krennic?” “And you. Of course.” He turned to your friend “Now what’s say we ditch this joint, find a better bar and hang out? Hmmm? Before you get yourself into any more trouble.” You wore a slight pout “Aw, okay. But I was just starting to have fun..!” All three of you turned to the bar Tully had just pushed you from, where Tazo was now sitting on a bar stool being tended to where he was bleeding – looking like you might have also done some real damage from the way he was holding himself. Good. That made you smile triumphantly, should shut him up. You flicked your hair back with a roll of your head and shoulders. And with a feel-good confidence you walked away – small smirk, which mirrored the kind Krennic always gave you, on your lips. “I think I’ve seen all I need to see here…”

 ***

You walked back to Krennic’s quarters, rubbing your arm. Putting on a brave face after sassily walking away was fine. But you realised how much you hurt; you were smaller than Tazo - but you more than held your own. Like you’d won, right? And if he said any more trash talk, you’d have no qualms going back and beating his ass again.

You ached a little bit... but felt intact... you glanced at the polished walls for affirmation. Your hair was a little bit of a mess; so you neatened it. There was a small cut on your cheek and your legs and arms ached. The one you were rubbing significantly more... But at least you weren’t spitting blood! You snickered to yourself - impressed. Even though you shouldn’t have been. You probably were lucky you weren’t in uniform or you’d be reprimanded.

You beeped yourself into his quarters and came face to face with an amused looking Krennic. He was a little dressed down. Black dress shirt and pants. He’d probably been out into town for drinks with his group of ‘friends’ (Friends? Prospects? Krennic didn’t distinguish. You doubted he had real friends beyond Galen.). “What?” He was sitting facing the door on a dining room chair. There was a glass on the table and a workbook of thick sketching paper, accompanied by assorted pencils. He smirked; leaning his hands on his knees. “What?” He repeated and stood up. Then he laughed, like there was a joke in his head he couldn’t possibly keep to himself; “You! You think I wouldn’t hear about what you did?!” Your face fell slightly - who the hell had told him!? “Oh. I wasn’t sure it’d get back to command...” “You’re kidding?!” He continued to chuckle, “Some commander came rushing up to me in the bar and couldn’t get his words out fast enough. Said I should be having words with you...” Orson laughed again, wiping what you assumed were tears from his eyes “I think it’s hilarious!!” He calmed himself and bit his lip, looking at you with adoration “But it’s also rather endearing. Now I know you’d do something like that for me.” “I’m NOT letting some jackass go around saying things like that about you!” He smiled gently “And so you shouldn’t... but I thought words would be enough.” “Words?” You folded your arms “Babe, I thought actions spoke louder than words. I used words. He abused my kindness – three strikes and out!” “How many words? Like three?” “Enough.” “What, you gave him one sentence...?” He was teasing you now, and you puffed your cheeks with a pout “He’s lucky he got that!” Orson laughed again “I’m sure he was...” placing his index finger to your forehead Orson gave you a gentle, yet teasing, smile “You know... what you need is a little more patience.” Oh-! Like he was one to talk! You swatted his hand away, placing your own on your hips. Putting all your sass into the movement of tipping your body; “HA! I think I use up all my patience on you!” Krennic pursed his lips for a moment, then nodded – realising you had a point, “Okay...  touché.” He let that linger for just enough time, to let you feel like you had something over him, and promptly gathered you in his arms pushing his forehead to yours “However… I should still reprimand you for it. So, as a Director, I can say that I did.” “You’re not the boss of me…!” You teased, pushing yourself up to brush your lips to his. “Oh really?” “Absolutely. I don’t report to you.” “Ah-! But you report to someone, who reports to someone, who indirectly reports to me... so... still to me.” It was his turn to kiss you “Details I don’t care for. It’s not to you.” “Oh darling. Don’t make me prove to you that you do...” You smirked, and in your attempt to steal another kiss he pulled away as if to validate his point. You narrowed your eyes; “You’re about to find out how little patience I have, Orson.” “For me?” His face feigned innocence and this time he let you claim your kiss. “For you.” He smirked again, “No. Darling. I should probably show you... how little patience I have for standing here. With you looking like this. When I could be in my room removing those clothes for myself.” You raised an eyebrow, but pretty soon you were smirking for yourself “Ohhhh... I think that’s a different thing. But I have about as much patience for these buttons as I do for you...” He flicked his eyes toward his bedroom and back to you “Well... why don’t we simply let our patience run out then... hmmm..?”

Want me to love you in moderation Do I look moderate to you? Sip it slowly and pay attention I just have to see it through You got me looking for validation Passion's new Want me to love you in moderation Well, who do you think you're talking to?

And little girl, who do you think you are? You think you need it, you think you want love You wouldn't want it if you knew what it was

I've never made it with moderation No, I've never understood All the feeling was all or nothing And I took everything I could Can't hold it back, I can't take the tension Oh, I'm trying to be good

I don't see the worth And I'm still try'na figure out if it Always, always, always has to hurt

---

noun

     1. careful and persistent work or effort.      2. the avoidance of excess or extremes, especially in one's behaviour or         political opinions

Gerry was obsessed. When wasn’t he? Obsessed with the game. With winning. With that hit gambling gave. He hadn’t known that kind of rush, been able to get that kind of fix from anything else. But he had promised… Curtis, his daughter... himself that he was done. That this time cleaning up his life really meant just that. There was only one problem. YOU. All that nervous energy, that need to obsess and want something so badly... that kick... he’d poured it all into you.

You didn’t know this yet. In fact he’d barely worked up the courage to talk to you yet. He liked that. The almost. Every conversation you had had been initiated by yourself - short, sweet... everything her craved... and yet never long enough. He would sit in the corner of the cafe you worked in and just watch you. He felt a little safer sitting all the way back here; like he could deny he was doing what he was doing. But he did it often enough for you to one day ask if he had an office that he could work from. Whereupon he blushed and looked to the table with a nervous giggle; “I guess so...”

Trouble was, he was never productive in the office... because he could only think of you. Whenever he had to go back to showing people around houses he would make sure to stop by for a coffee either on the way or on the way back; just so he could see you. You’d become accustomed to this routine so much that you had his order ready for him the second you saw his car pull up in the lot. But he’d always make sure to stop and talk to you for a little while, even when he knew he was running slightly late.

The worst days were when you weren’t working. Or on occasion you would swap tables with someone else, and suddenly he wasn’t waited on by you.  That felt as bad as losing did. Only he supposed he wasn’t losing money; so it should have been better. The problem was it toyed with his emotions, so it felt worse. Sometimes you would catch his eye and smile even when you weren’t waiting him. And he liked that.  You loved the smile he gave back too; his pretty blue eyes, the sweaters sometimes you wished you could wrap yourself up in. It was a strange thing to think about someone you barely knew. But you thought it all the same.

Gerry didn’t like it when you turned that smile on someone else; because sometimes he felt that it was just for him. But, what if it wasn’t? What if every joking comment you made him wasn’t cute and flirty? What if it was something you just did? Because you were kind and gentle... not because you might actually like him. What if you didn’t really notice him at all? Sometimes you were so busy you didn’t even acknowledge him, and then that hurt even more. Because what if everything else was just because of circumstance? What if he didn’t really matter to you at all...?

He guessed he could walk away at any time, and nothing was keeping him coming back. But Gerry couldn’t walk away without knowing. He had to know. That was like walking away from a table... you can’t walk away when the odds could still swing in your favour (not that they did that often in Gerry’s experience, but there was always that chance), even if the game is over there’s still an opportunity to play one more round. Although, the point was he was trying not to play games here. But you... made them so hard to resist. But the tables so easy to leave...

 So he started staying on your shifts until closing. And because this was both new and something that you’d witnessed on 5 consecutive evenings, you started to worry. For him, and for his intentions; “Gerry... you know this is the fifth time you’ve stayed this week right? Is everything okay?” “Yeah... Yeah... everything’s fine...” He slid his laptop closed and looked to you; that same utterly adorable smile you couldn’t help but fall for. “Are you sure? Will you be here tomorrow night too? I’m worried...” “Oh you... don’t need to worry about me...” He bit his lip and looked away from you “Can I, uh... get one more coffee?” “Coffee?” You repeated slowly “at this time of day?” “Mm hm.” You sighed gently; “Okay. Sure... but then you gotta leave... it’s past closing time and I gotta get home...” “W...Well why don’t you have one with me?” It was about the most confident thing he’d said “No...” Ouch-! “I’m okay... but... that’s sweet, thank you...” “Well then come sit with me...” “Gerry I gotta clear up...” you headed back to the counter “I’ll bring it over though.” “No-! That’s okay I can come sit up by you.” He stood “Gerry it’s okay I can..” you didn’t have the opportunity to finish by the time he was within inches of you. And even he realised that was a little too close. “Sorry...” He lowered those blue eyes to the floor and ran a hand through his hair, bashful. You searched his face for a minute; what was going on with him? “Are you sure you’re okay?” “Y-Yeah... Everything is fine...” he flushed and you got the picture; everything was both fine and far from fine... and that was your fault.

You shook your head and took his hands in yours; which snapped his eyes immediately back to yours; “Come on… Sit down… I’ll get you a drink…” Gerry sat tentatively at the bar, tapping his fingers nervously on the surface; “You sure you want coffee? You look like you could use something a little stronger…” You pulled down a mug and set about making something for him. You had just the thing. “…Why, do you have anything stronger-?!” You laughed to yourself; “Noooo…! Why, what’s your poison?” “Oh, uh… Woodford is pretty good.” “Bourbon-!?” You turned and studied him for a minute “Mmm… I can see that…” You finished mixing your concoction and placed it in front of him; “Oh. Is that hot chocolate?” “Mmm hmmm.” You leant on the counter with a smile; “You look like you need it.” “Thank you…” His voice was so gentle and again his look away from you was shy. You felt you could both be skipping around feelings here. And yet both of you were apparently okay with doing this…

“Gerry…” Your voice was soft and calm, “You had me real worried for a minute…” He attempted to take a sip but it turned into a gulp and the too hot liquid burned, making him wince; “…Oh…?” You leant on your hands and tilted your head; “What’s wrong… Tell me what’s wrong…” He laughed, but it wasn’t genuine “What isn’t wrong.” He turned away from you for a minute “…I dunno… Maybe you should just ignore me… Maybe its nothing…” “Gerry…” You were gentle again, placing a hand on his arm “Talk to me… Is it me? It kinda feels like it’s me…” Maybe you should bite the bullet on this one. Maybe you had done something without realising, or maybe he was just reading into something too much. “No… You? You’re kidding… It’s just I…”He shook his head; removed your hand from his arm, but, kept it in his own “I am NO good for you…” It felt like rejection. It was painful. Even though you know he’d meant it to warn you away. Even though he’d not actually told you that he had any feelings for you yet he clearly did; you wondered if he’d even realised he’d not outright said it “Gerry… Do you have a crush on me?”

He opened his mouth and then hesitated; had he not already… made that obvious? Wait, no, he hadn’t yet told you-!? SHOOT! He began tripping on words; his heart screaming at him to say yes; but the temptation to deny it too great. You hushed him gently; “Sweetie, calm down… It’s okay…I don’t mind…” “You should…!!” Gerry slipped his hand from yours, looking like he’d just said a million things he wished he hadn’t “I’m no good for anyone…” He twisted back to the bar and picked up his mug again. “Why?” You leant back on your hands; “I think you’re kinda cute.” “W-“ He paused and looked at you uncertainly for a minute; “You do?” You nodded “Mmm hmmm… But now I completely understand why you watch me so much…” “You noticed-!?” pink dusted his cheeks, making you giggle; “Yeah, I noticed…” He tilted his head; you were suddenly unfathomable, and he had to let you know that; “…But you… I don’t get it… I don’t think I understand… you…” You raised an eyebrow “Why?” He shifted in his seat, almost nervously “Because… You… Somehow you make me want to keep straight… And… it’s not fair on you for me to-” “Gerry, hold on a second… Me?! I… Me?!” You weren’t exactly sure how to react to that. Seconds ago he’d basically been telling you the reasons you shouldn’t want to love him. Now he was telling you that because he had feelings for you; that he was trying to be a better person for you, he was sitting at your tables, and not gambling tables.  It wasn’t like you could help that you had fallen for him. It hadn’t exactly been something you’d had control over.

“Y/N…” He laced his free hand with yours, leaning closer to you he lowered his voice “…I can’t… DO things in half measures…” His eyes flicked to several of the tables “…I’m not. I’m not a moderate person. It’s intense… And I don’t think I can put you through a thing like that.” That sentence came with a promise. That his love would also contain no moderation. Was that not what love was about, though? Love wasn’t meant to be moderate? Was it? Wasn’t it meant to be a no-holds-barred thrill ride? Intensity… That was a whole part of it wasn’t it? He almost laughed; “You’re gonna get nothing but trouble…” He grinned “I’m sure you’re not gonna put up with that more than once.” Finally he made you laugh “It just, sounds like you need some diligence.” “Oh- uh huh! And where do I get that.” You gave a gentle shrug; "Well, I mean I studied psychology..." you pushed yourself forward on your elbows "So maybe I can listen and help out..." "Like a therapist?" "Haha-! If you think a therapist would help you...! I'm not qualified though!"  you leant on your hands with a smile at the intrigue on his face; "I dunno, I think you'd be more than capable of... Listening to my problems... Though I don't know if I particularly want to burden you with them..." "Nonsense..." your next smile was encouraging "Besides, I like the sound of your voice..." There was that nervous, jumpy flicker across his face again. Cause and effect "Y- You do?" "Mmmm..."

So he began his story. Shortened considerably, he told you about his gambling habit, meeting his lucky charm, and setting out across the Mississippi, culminating in winning a hell of a lot of money... But also his constant fear that he'd not be able to resist the pull back. But you realised, as he talked, and as he hinted, and his eyes almost pleaded with you to understand, Gerry had a new pull now. And it was the reason he was always here. Not moderate indeed. It bordered fixation... But healthier than his other one. Still, he'd also sat here and tried to give you a bunch of warnings. Self-deprecating warnings that would impede his goal. Just like gambling... With his feelings not his money... Could you date a man like that? Could you let yourself pass up this chance? That was just as big a question. He hadn't asked it of you yet, but it was hanging in the air. That he could get those words out. That he could really confess. Maybe that would be a gamble too far... You wish you could tell him it would be worth it. Part of you didn't want to influence this. If it became something more would all that energy be poured into your relationship? Into love for you? Or would that obsession grow too much... Or manifest itself elsewhere?

* 

It was long after closing by the time you both even had the inclination to look at the time. "Oh my god! D-did you have to be anywhere?" Gerry looked slightly horrified that he'd kept you, even though you had told him one more drink and he had to be gone. Considering how closely you had watched him drink it, he must have finished hours ago. You chuckled, "Nowhere more important than here... " "But somewhere-!?" "Doesn’t matter now, does it. Gerry don't worry about it. I'm happy I got to spend time here with you." His smile was bashful and you liked that, he was just so cute. "Thank you... It was good spending time with you too..." He slid off the bar stool and collected his things; "Guess I might be back tomorrow... Anyway?" You laughed, rounding the bar to him; "Ahhh-! You’ll be disappointed I don't work again until Thursday." "What-!? What am I gonna do for 3 days-!" Although he said it jokingly, and then laughed "Well, it's good you have some days off you deserve it... Guess I might see you Thursday then." "Oh," you gave him a sweet smile "I'm counting on it..." There was that blush again, and this time when he bit his lips together he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. And this time it was you who was making that gap too small; but it was comfortable now, there was no too close about it. The first move became all yours as you wrapped your arms around him; he tensed and jumped all at once – even though you moved slow – to feel your embrace like this. You tried not to giggle into his shoulder as he dropped his bag; holding him there as you snuggled into him. If you’d imagined it even half as much as you thought you had – it was just as good in real life. Hesitantly he moved his arms around under yours; and soon they were wound around you. That only made you pull him closer – revelling in the warmth of his body against yours. And if that was the way you were feeling... If Gerry’s heart was anything to go by, and you could feel it here… Everything was blank – his brain and his heart. Although his heart was beating on overdrive and it felt as good as knowing he was just about to deal the winning hand. He simultaneously wanted to push you away and pull you desperately closer and never let go. And oh, OH, it felt so good-! It was only when you ran your hands into his hair that he let out a noise; somewhere between a soft sigh and a whine it was barely audible but it was there as he melted into you. “It’s okay…” You murmured it; “It’s all going to be okay…”

 You let him go far too soon, and you both knew it. And that proximity left heat in both your cheeks. Your head was rushing and you thought for a moment that your idea maybe wasn't such a great one... You walked him to the door, slowly. It’d already been about half an hour since he'd said he better leave. It didn't matter to you, now you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. "So..." Gerry turned at the door, stepping down and out into the street "Thursday? I'll be here..." You nodded "I hope so...!" He smiled and began walking away but you took his hand and pulled him back "Gerry, wait..." you held him there for a minute; and he couldn't help but entwine his fingers with yours - it was instinctive... Something he ached for. "Call me...." This time he just let himself smile at the piece of paper he could feel transferring from your hand to his; “…if you ever need some diligence…” “Call you?” “I’d like a little moderation myself.” You gave a wink as you unlaced your fingers from his and folded your arms “Maybe we can figure this one out together?” He smile turned into a grin and he laughed, truly laughed “I’d… like that a lot.” “Good, cuz I don’t know who else is going to take care of you. But I better be making sure someone does it.” That had him looking away from you again, but the blue in his eyes was considerably brighter this time; “Thank you…” You stood in the doorway of the café watching him leave, and he turned back to wave as he stepped into his car, making you smile and offer him one back; Oh, Gerry…  you shook your head, loving the way you could now feel your heart beating, because he had done that… Warning or no, I want the chance to love you anyway…

---

THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING! And oh my god, once again I’m so sorry this took an age! I hope he was worth the wait 😘😘

3 Virtues down! 💜💙

@multifandom-writings - Appropriate as you asked for him!

I believe kids oughta stay kids as long as they can ...Go climb a tree, get dirt on their hands I believe we gotta forgive and make amends 'Cause nobody gets a second chance to make new old friends I believe in working hard for what you've got Even if it don't add up to a hell of a lot I believe them streets of gold are worth the work But I still wanna go even if they were paved in dirt I believe that youth is spent well on the young 'Cause wisdom in your teens would be a lot less fun I believe if you just go by the nightly news Your faith in all mankind would be the first thing you lose I believe most people are good And most mama's oughta qualify for sainthood I believe you love who you love Ain't nothing you should ever be ashamed of I believe this world ain't half as bad as it looks I believe most people are good

---

noun

an organization set up to provide help and raise money for those in need.

the voluntary giving of help, typically in the form of money, to those in need.

Adelaide. Dutton didn’t think he’d ever seen something so beautiful in his entire life. Having said that it could have been anything. After Darwin. But, they were due to meet the main convoy here. So… Adelaide was the place he decided was the most beautiful. It's been a long hard journey. 30+ hours would be had enough if he only had his troops to think about. But Emmett Dutton now had a group of Mission Children to think of also. And any time he could he would have the convoy break to let the children be children. Even if that only lasted 10 minutes at a time. He was plenty glad for Brother Frank at all times. Because Emmett couldn’t look after all these kids alone. Much as he would like to try. It surprised him even more how much he found himself caring for these kids. He wasn’t never a kids person. He just wasn’t at all sure he was good at it. Frank was nearly 100% sure that he was. And even other members of his troop took time for the children. They didn’t have much considering all that had happened in Darwin, but… Everyone shared everything. It was on one such break that Emmett contemplated the future of the children. Usually if he wasn’t amongst the children himself he would stand watching them with a smile. There was still innocence at a time of war. Or he would just be happy… that there were good things. He had to continue to remind himself that there were still good things. However today Emmett Dutton looked worried. And Frank noticed this, wandering over; “Penny for your thoughts, Captain.” Emmett chewed his lip thoughtfully “…Brother Frank… tell me, when we get to Adelaide… what happens to the children?” Dutton already knew it was likely he would have to move his troops on. The convoy was not about to just end in Adelaide. It was likely Australia would play a bigger part in the war now. Would he have to travel to Europe to fight? To the USA? He shook that thought away as quickly as he could and turned to his companion for answers. “Well… Adelaide is a big place. It will have a Church.” “Surely the church cannot look after so many…?” It wasn’t Emmett didn’t think it possible. But the money, the people, the resource? …The fact the children were Aboriginal?... He’d seen so much injustice already done due to that. And adoption was so hard he didn’t expect anything to happen there of any consequence either. He’d explained that to Sarah many times. (And watched her fight it, though… He had to admit as much to himself). It certainly hadn’t deterred her, hopefully they would find more such people in the city… What Emmett thought they needed was another woman like her. “Well. God works in mysterious ways…” Emmett raised an eyebrow; “Indeed he may, but… Don’t these boys need a mother as well?” Frank’s face suddenly beamed; “I’m sure they will get one Captain. It’s only a shame I am not able to call ahead!” *** So now he was here in Adelaide, Emmett hoped that Brother Frank’s promise would pay off. Dutton wasn’t worried. But, now it was like these children were his. And he wanted to make sure they were well looked after and taken care of. The majority of the main army convoy was already here; but he was told that those from Darwin were allowed respite. Thank God. And rightly so after what they had been through. This gave Emmett precious time. And now he was tailing Brother Frank through the streets. “…So… Will they go here? Not the Church?” “If she can take them all. I’m sure she can! She has… the room, and the monetary resource at least.” “How do you know all this!?” “She does a great deal for the Church that is well documented. I’m sure she will be up for this too…” They continued on walking, and ended up a little way out of Adelaide… And Emmett couldn’t help but stop dead. Frank continued on; happy disposition as always, through the front gate and down the path. Emmett thought Faraway Downs was big; but it had nothing on this. In fact this was like taking Faraway Downs and planting it in the middle of a city… Maybe it was even bigger than the Administrators property in Darwin. “W-Wait… She lives here!?” “That’s right!” “Alone!?” How could one person manage an estate like this all by herself? “Yes.” Then Frank corrected himself; “Well, she probably wouldn’t by choice!!! But does, by circumstance.” They weren’t even all the way down the path before you were outside. And Emmett discovered the second most beautiful thing he had seen today. Your eyes flicked between them, amused. “You gentlemen look like you could be here for completely different reasons… And that you’ve seen better days. Should I invite you in, or are you simply too busy…?” You walked down the steps to join them on the path, addressing them correctly “Brother, Captain… How may I be of assistance?” You looked between them again. Okay, fine. He was cute by the clergyman was off limits, but the Captain... Well, someone that easy on the eye couldn’t have been single. “Actually we are…” There was a second pause, before the sentence was clarified “Here for the same reason, I mean!” “Oh!” You smiled, what could the Church and the army have in common? If the Captain was about to ask you to host troops that would make sense. But what did the Church have to do with something like that? “We have come from Darwin.” Your eyes widened, and you placed a hand over your mouth as you gasped; “Oh my goodness! I heard-! We all did! Oh-! Wow, my goodness… I’m… I’m so sorry… Are you all, okay?” “Those of us that made it… But, there were some children sent to mission island. It was hit, but, the majority survived.”  Your expression instantly softened, and Emmett took instant note of this as Frank continued; “I heard you might be the person to talk to…” “You want me to foster…. Children?” You tilted your head, but you were suddenly beaming; turning back to the Captain. “But what is the Army’s stake in this?” “Personal only… Ma’m.” You smiled; “Y/N. Call me Y/N… Please.” Then you realised “OH! I didn’t ask-!” “Oh!” He held out his hand instantly, manners maketh man, Emmett!! “Dutton. Captain Emmett Dutton… And this is Brother Frank.” “Emmett…” You liked that, and showed it by saying his name with a sweet smile; you took his hand “Thank you, for your service.” ***

 It surprised you that he was still around, so you certainly hadn't expected to run into him in the middle of town; "Oh! Captain Dutton! I expected you to be long gone by now..." "No no, not yet at any rate. Just waiting for the next posting... And please... Call me Emmett..." "Emmett..." you agreed, "I like that, it's a nice name..." You weren't sure if you were really complimenting him or it was just inane babble, but he seemed to turn a faint shade of pink anyway. "Thank you... But I shall not be taking the credit there..." he smiled "Can I be of any assistance...? You must have a lot to do, all things considered...?" "Oh... That’s sweet of you, thank you..." you let him walk in step with you, smile on your face "I'm just letting them settle right now. Brother Frank is a good help too... But... You have done so much for them already Captain, bringing them here... That’s very heroic..." you looked to his face for a minute; his hesitation. Probably to correct you on his name again. "Emmett! Sorry!" "That's okay... And I don't know about heroic... But they certainly needed to be far from mission island and Darwin..." "Mission Island... Oh. I see." you shook your head "They should be allowed to return home, don't you think?" "Well, maybe we can do that together..." You weren't sure if he was being truthful, but by the look in his eyes you would believe anything Emmett said, and that intensity. That belief as you had that that would be the right thing to do, took your breath away. "Y-yes... When all this is over..." Dutton nodded; “Well, hopefully that won’t be too long… I would hope humanity would have the decency to put a stop to this…” He shook his head “Maybe I shouldn’t go on believing it, but…” Emmett shrugged almost helplessly “When that’s all we have…” You smiled despite this; “You’ve not given up your faith in us all yet… Even with what you must have seen in Darwin?” “If anything it’s only made me more defiant. The world will get through this… They said the last war was ‘the war to end all wars.’ Maybe this one will actually do it.” You tipped your head “…Will we win?” “If it was all so black and white…” but he laughed “…I would think, in the end, the people who are meant to prevail will… But our most immediate problems… The things we can change…” He paused his walk, and turned to you – inspired “…Are right here!”

Emmett and you continued to wander around town together as he helped you run errands and shop for groceries. You hated to admit how much you enjoyed his company. Not because you wanted to come off standoffish, but because you knew that one day he would have to leave. And it would be soon. He wouldn't have reason to be here, in reality if they stationed him back up north... If he was so used to Darwin, he'd be so far away from you. You didn't want to start something just to see it all end. But you couldn't help falling for him. He was charming and sweet. How could you not?

 "Emmett, come in for a little while, I'm sure they'd like to see you..." "well, I suppose I have time. Are you sure you don't mind?" "i just invited you didn't I...!?" you quirked your eyebrow - "Of course, also its only polite that seen as you helped me with all of this." "Oh no! That's nothing, any time..." You folded your arms with a subtle shake of your head; "That's not nothing... Anyway, please, just accept my gratitude and come inside!?" He laughed; "okay, you won't need to tell me twice..." Of course as soon as you got him through the door and the children realised, they were all over him. "Woah-! Woah-! Okay...boys!!" Emmett was laughing again, which you loved; it made you smile. So much it started to hurt to smile for much longer. "Just let me help Y/N alright then I will come and see you..." When he finally got some of the younger children to let him go, with a little encouragement from you - you both slipped into the kitchen: "I suppose you get that a lot?" he straightened out his shirt, looking curiously back into the corridor where several of them were watching you both "Less than you would think... But you? Oh, they talk about you all the time..." "Really!?" "Mmm, oh, Captain I know all your stories second hand. Granted there's some variations on what actually happened, and I certainly wouldn't pass up the opportunity to hear them first hand, But! Yes, they certainly like you a lot. And you obviously care for them deeply..." He turned back to you, and that look on your face he hoped he might be reading correctly. But also made him bashful: admiration? Why? Hadn’t he done what any decent human would do? He felt he'd done far less than you... “Oh I…” he struggled with what was best to say, so he opted for a simple “Thank you…” instead. “No… Thank you.” Emmett set about helping you put things away, but you realised pretty quickly that you had gathered a small audience, laughing with him like this. That was understandable, they were equally curious on what was making you so happy (not that you weren’t always) and Emmett himself. Eventually you pushed him gently towards the door “Go on…” “We aren’t even finished-!” You waved away his protests “Go on, they want to listen to you… I’ll come through when I’m finished…” He hesitated “Y/N… I… Are you sure?” “They want to see you! Go on, I mean, how much time may you really get with them?” “I suppose you’re right… But I…” “Emmett…” You pushed him gently again; “Please, go!” He looked like he didn’t want to leave you, so even when he walked from the room, he did it slowly – almost pleading with you to pull him back. You couldn’t help your cheeky wink; “I won’t make you wait long!” He had to laugh again; and turned back to the children once again clambering all over him to pull him through into your extensive living room. “Okay! Okay! It’s alright! I’m here…” You tidied away and then wandered through. Each and every one of them was engrossed in every single word. And you sat yourself on the arm of one of the sofas with some of the younger children to listen too. You barely heard a word that Emmett said, and he barely registered that you’d even walked in, but the way he told it… The way he wasn’t even that animated, but his passion, the way he spoke… everything had everyone in that room hanging on his every word. You weren’t surprised that when you finally had the inclination to look at the clock it was late; But you still waited until the appropriate time to interrupt his story; “OH! Boys… Dinner…” Several of them leapt up immediately to eagerly assist you.  Emmett stood “I suppose I better get going…” “Nonsense, Captain… Would you please join us? It’s only fair, considering all your help in town and telling us such wonderful stories… Also, you can finish them over dinner… What do you say boys?” “Yes! Please! Please stay…!” The clamour of voices all politely asked the same thing. And Dutton wasn’t about to resist them or you; “Oh… Then, I suppose I better stay… Thank you…” You grinned; “I better ask now if you can cook!” “Oh I---” he laughed nervously “I… Suppose I can… You do tend to pick up a few things, here and there…” You nodded, that would do, all you really needed was another pair of (firm but fair) hands to help you out. “Well, Captain, I suppose it’s time for you to put those skills to the test…” “Oh. If I’d have known there was a test… I’m not sure I would have accepted the invitation!” ***

Turned out that his ‘you pick up a few things’ was neither wrong, nor exactly truthful. "Why don't you stop acting so humble?!" you giggled slightly, "At this rate its gonna turn out you cook better than me!” He laughed, but blush swept his face “No! Oh gosh! I wouldn't want to show you up..!" "Too late captain!" but you were both laughing. You had some of the boys help you with the easier things and then sent them on their way again before returning to cooking. Emmett let himself just watch you for a minute, how you made 10 things at once look easy.

He couldn't help it; "You're amazing, you know?" it was quiet, like a thought he hadn't meant to slip out and yet he wanted to You turned to him "Me!? No... I'm... Doing what anyone would do..." "No, no... This... Is amazing. Those boys deserve a mother and... For sure you are one... They couldn't have done better than this. But you must have helped so many people... Brother Frank alluded to it but... You are nothing short of incredible." "Captain, please..." you pressed your hands to your face, feeling it heat up, you'd never been very good at taking compliments. You didn't do this to be noticed after all, but so that other people could live a better life, or pick themselves up. He crossed to you for a minute "All you're doing, people should just thank you more often." "Well, they think I'm crazy for doing it..." His voice was quiet again "Well, I don't..." You looked back into his eyes, still blushing. Well I don't was possibly the most significant thing he'd yet said. And he'd said a lot that meant something to you. He still had that ever so sweet smile of admiration on his face. And he was getting to you. You were close enough to feel the heat from his body; and something within you was pining for that closeness – for his touch… or his love. But it couldn’t have been just you, you couldn’t have just been imagining that he was leaning closer to you. That made you instinctively lean into him. And this could happen, you could kiss, and it could be like some kind of fairy tale. And all this went through your head very quickly. Of course, reality had something to say about that – as the timer in the corner of the kitchen went off. SERIOUSLY!? He pulled away from you and took a polite step back as if he was forgetting himself; “Oh… I… I’m sorry…” You wanted to tell him not to apologise; you wanted to grab him and tell him to kiss me, dammit! But you couldn’t. Your face was still flushed and what you did do was say “It’s okay… don’t worry…” NO! DAMMIT! Y/N! IT’S NOT OKAY! IT COULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT KISS!!! No time to dwell on that, with dinner ready, but both of you did. Standing looking at each other, hesitant for just a few more moments… Until one of the older boys cleared his throat; “Should I tell everyone it’s ready, Miss Y/N?” You didn’t want to tear your eyes from Emmett, but you had to; “Yes! Thank you!” *** Dinner passed quickly, but Emmett continued his anecdotes to the boys. Every so often one of them would pick up on a story thread of his and begin sharing a story of their own; and Emmett liked watching how you gave it your undivided attention. You reacted appropriately, and asked relevant questions. You made every boy around that table feel special. And when you caught Emmett’s eye and smiled like that, that number included him.   He stayed long after dinner was over, and helped you both tidy away and put the boys to bed. Which he found was not an easy task. “Drink?” You couldn’t help giggle at his slightly bedraggled exhausted look as he tried to neaten his appearance; “Please… I don’t know how you do it! You’re a Saint.” “Oh-! Sometimes I don’t think they’d think so-!” You gave a wink, “Can be the total opposite if they won’t behave!” He shook his head, mocking shock; “I don’t believe a word of it!” You sat him outside and handed him a glass as a night cap. The air was still warm even though the sun had long since set, and it made for a pleasant evening. There was comfortable silence as you both admired the scene of your garden, lit every so often by the glow of fireflies, and you could think about the evening in a little detail. Eventually you broke the silence with a hesitant question; “Do you have kids?” He turned those inquisitive blue eyes back on you, “NO. No… Single…” You wondered why he’d added that statement, because that wasn’t what you had asked. Single wasn’t a qualifier for if he’d ever had kids. And unless he meant always been single which you couldn’t believe for a moment, it certainly had no relevance. “You’re good with kids…” You mused, finishing your glass and setting it down “That’s worth something?” You smiled back at him, gently “I think it is…” His next smile was significant as he fielded your compliment back; “You’re a good mother.” You opened your mouth to respond, but it was like it suddenly all hit you, and you took a noticeable deep breath out “I learned from a good mother…” “So you aren’t one?” “No… I had a lot of younger siblings who moved out… They are all around Australia and Europe now… some of them…” You looked back to the house “…I stayed to help look after my parents… and when they both passed on… I thought what better to do with their house than look after people…” “You really are a Saint.” You turned back to him; how he seemed to voice some kind of clarity that hit you again, full force. And your heart yearned for him. To have him here to tell you things you so desperately wanted to hear… “Maybe…” Your voice was quiet, and when you looked away from him again he reached for your hand; “Not a maybe… you have compassion and generosity that you can’t show gratitude for with mere words… And yet you do this all without shouting it from rooftops.” “I don’t do it to be noticed, I do it because, like you, I want to believe there can still be good in the world – even if I have to do it all by myself…” He set his glass down; and took your other hand in his; “Y/N… Believe me, you are not alone.” And in that moment, what you knew he meant was you have me. *** It was a few days later when Dutton found the time to wander back to your house to see you and the children again. You were out in the back garden when he arrived; still expertly keeping the attention of all the children. Engrossed in some story or other you were telling. Acting out scenes here and there with the help of some of the older boys. Emmett couldn't help but laugh to himself as he watched from your porch, relaxing himself by leaning against it. From here he was in the shade from the hot afternoon sunlight but it didn't seem to bother you or them in the slightest.

Eventually your eyes caught his, and you turned to the older boys to keep the game going whilst you took a breather; "Captain! You're still here!" The way you were beaming and the sunshine hit your hair and eyes and made you literally glow, was the reason that just this once he didn't bother correcting you; "You always sound so surprised!" He turned his full attention from the children to you as you joined him. "Well, I just don't want to get my hopes up that you'll stay..." Emmett tried and failed not to read too much into that, and his smile was gracious "Well... You never know, perhaps you should..." He nodded to the children in order to swiftly change the subject, "they all seem to be getting on well." "Yes, thanks to you." "Me!? You-!" "Emmett you rescued them!" "Not I... A good friend of mine... I simply delivered them into your care... You have saved these children... You have given them a far better life that they would have received on mission island I can tell you that..." You shook your head, placing your hand on his to turn him back to you; “But as I say, they always ask after you... Emmett... When you're coming around next, if you’re going to spend the day here... Every time they see you... I wish you would stay..."

He watched the way that your eyes nervously left his, how you bit your lip and stared at his chest instead. From nowhere he gained a moment of courage, and instead of the nervous laugh he felt, Emmett spoke up, this time entwining your fingers properly with his. "Is that the only reason you wish I would stay?" This time you did blush; those soft blue eyes and that sweet smile became too much and you could feel the heat from his face at your almost kiss again. “Maybe not… But it shouldn’t always be about me…” He couldn’t help his chuckle, you were probably the most charitable, unselfish person he’d ever known. How could anything you did ever always be about you? “Then tell me…” Tell me what I want to hear; that’s what he was pleading with you to say… But you weren’t hearing that, because you didn’t want to believe it could be true. “You told me I was a good mother…” He tilted his head, “I did. And meant it…” You decided there was no time to be bolder and looked back into his eyes with confidence; “Well… I figure those boys need a good father figure too…” “Heh…” he bit his lip gently, but smiled through it “That’d require me to stay.” “No… Just be there when you can be…” “Well what about you?” “What about me…?” He tried again, this time more obvious “Maybe I would hope you weren’t just saying that… for them…” “…Why are you asking me to say it?” Emmett gave a little shrug; “Because maybe if I hear you say it I will know it’s true. What you really want.” You took a breath; “I don’t know what I want…” You shook your head “I want you to stay, if you can stay… of course I do. But if you must leave, then I want you to come back… But what I know for sure, is that what I wanted the other night…” You hesitated a moment and swallowed “I just wish…” You shook your head “I should have kissed you.”

For a moment he couldn’t believe that you would be that forward, but he liked it. He loved it. “Well, I feel we should rectify that situation… If you would allow me to kiss you?” Your eyes widened slightly, you knew it! You’d known it… You should have done something then… But he was doing something now. So your smile was confident as you looked back into his eyes “You may.” He kept your hands respectfully in his, and leaned in slow and gentle, you closed your eyes. Hardly daring to believe that this was real; that it was really a dream that you were about to wake up from. But as his lips touched yours you held his hands a little tighter; and pulled him in closer. No dream would compare to this. The kiss was just as soft and sweet as he was, and you kept your eyes closed as he broke it and placed his forehead gently to yours. You realised that you didn’t need to ask him to stay, that that kiss was a promise. No matter what the future held, he would return to you.

--- 🙈 Was that too sweet?! Ah! Sorry babe! But thank you for requesting him! As ever 😘💙💜 Eeeeek! 4 Virtues Down!