#loraina

________

He drowns in his dreams An exquisite extreme I know He's as damned as he seems And more heaven than a heart could hold And if I try to save him My whole world could cave in Oh and I don't know I don't know what he's after But he's so beautiful Such a beautiful disaster And if I could hold on Through the tears and the laughter Would it be beautiful Or just a beautiful disaster He's magic and myth As strong as what I believe A tragedy with More damage than a soul should see And do I try to change him So hard not to blame him He's soft to the touch But frayed at the ends he breaks He's never enough And still he's more than I can take

---

All the power in this city was hers. Whether she knew it or not. William needed her – and realised it – even if he was constantly walking a knife’s edge between having her right where he wanted her, and pissing her off. She was taking his guard from strength to strength, and they’d been rolled out into her new plans and strategies for a number of months now. She was taking her lessons with Tuck to a whole new level, and now she was beginning to learn as much from the Sheriff as he was from her. Which meant they were now talking to each other in Norse, on occasion, and she was proud of that. She couldn’t exactly say she quite understood the idea of religion in England yet, but she would at least arrive to church with him on Sunday’s and pretend she knew what was going on. She was still stuck in her own room, but she preferred it that way. For now. Yes, she wanted that feeling back, but she knew better than to give into it so many times before she got a ring on her finger. But he rode with her now - not always – but when he could the Sheriff would ride with her; back and forth to church, and sometimes around the streets in Nottingham proper. She wanted him that close to her – so she could show him more than just on a piece of parchment what she’d decided on for his city defences. But she wasn’t sure who was the steadier when she saw him ride; him or Vesper. There was something about that horse that said war, whether that made sense to her or not. And she realised how little Wil shared about his past; how much combat had he seen on English soil…? Or overseas? Had he been to the crusades that he was now helping to finance? Not these ones – it was as much obvious to her that he was needed here. But this was also not the first crusade… Vesper was steady in crowds, and not easily startled, tall and well built. She couldn’t help but smile at that, she trusted this horse with her man, as much as she would have to trust herself. Riding with him in the open like this could be dangerous for him… But if his horse wouldn’t spook, the two of them would easily dispatch assailants. And she wanted William to not have to worry about anything, whilst her eyes wandered up to every roof and down every ally.   More than anything, it gave them freedom – away from the palace he was much more candid with her – he smiled more, he laughed more… and that was before she got him out of the shade of the Church. And then it was like the Sheriff was a totally different man. And there was a pang that ran through her heart at watching him then, because she knew this was not a man the people saw… it certainly wasn’t the man she got to see; but she wanted to. Given her freedom, and the fact that William had also not yet introduced her to the people of Nottingham (at least not formally), she was able to slip out of Nottingham proper, and explore for herself. And these explorations led her down to the people of the mines. Of course, only Marian and Will knew who she really was when she was down there – but they introduced her to people that mattered. And she quickly got to know the ways of the world in which she was living. Everything they told her she kept in the back of her head; useful information above all else – and matters it sounded like William wasn’t exactly taking much interest in. But if she brought it to him… what of it then? Mostly, she liked being down in this part of the city because of the structure. And because she was invisible. No one down here was being told to keep an eye on her, nor knew what she was up to. She could travel independently, and do whatever she liked. Running down streets like this, where there was dirt beneath her feet and not solid stone, climbing to the roofs and jumping from building to building when they were made of wood - infrastructure she was much more familiar with - she felt like she was home. And it made her as homesick as it did happy. Today she picked the highest tower she could find and scaled it in mere minutes. From up here she could see far beyond the walls of Nottingham, to the forests and fields that lay just out of reach. If Wil didn’t want her here, then there was no way he would allow her to go out there.  She didn’t feel trapped by him – but if he wanted to utilize her to the best of her ability. If he wanted to know her, if he wanted his people to know her, keeping her within these walls wouldn’t do him any favours. The Sheriff had mentioned to her and her father that he had jurisdiction over many towns and cities outside of this one. And if she stood up here for long enough, sometimes the conditions would be just right for her to see a few of them on the horizon. She wondered what the people in those towns and cities were like. If they held the same feeling for her husband-to-be as the people here did, if they were kind and honourable… or if they were like some of the rich that she had met here and would rather Wil didn’t associate with. These were questions she would have to ask him sooner or later. He hadn’t found reason to leave the city yet whilst she had been here, and maybe because of her, but what when there was reason? Would the Sheriff take her? What if she gave him reason…? What if that reason was her… ***

Ultimately Church did nothing for her except heighten her worry for him. She enjoyed being in his company there, how he would link their arms and hold her hand. Sometimes he would quietly explain things to her and tuck stray strands of hair behind her ear. And sometimes the Sheriff would simply watch her, as she stood in respectful silence and listened to the sermons, or smiled when all voices rose together in hymn. But also at the way her eyes would wander to the great multicoloured glass windows. Wil had noticed the unfathomable wonder on her face the first time he had walked in here with her and the sun had been hitting them all just right. Stained glass, he’d explained to her, all the images Holy, and painstakingly created. And the way she’d giggled like a child when the colours had danced over her skin. He savoured that. Because anything that could make his own church going experience better was a literal God send to him… But there was so much about the Church that he still hated. And even with her there making things better, there was much that still made this so painful for him. It was too engrained in him now… and how was the Sheriff supposed to explain that when an uncomfortable shudder ran through him and she turned, feeling it herself? How her lips would part but no question was ever asked. And even when it was all over she never did. He bit his lip, and gathered her closer to him, stroking a hand through her hair – because he had to thank her for that, even if he too, didn’t say it out loud. Too good for me… Too good for this… She wondered from time to time why he got so tense, how he'd shrug his shoulders or rub them. She wasn't sure whether he was trying to get comfortable or whether he was genuinely in pain... He also didn't like people in close proximity: she noticed he didn't mind getting into people's personal space, it was when Wil couldn't see them that was the problem; he'd likely turn so they were at least within his peripheral vision. If they were behind him there was an unspoken rule that you did not get to close; and he would often turn to check on the people behind him even in church. In fact church was where she noticed it irked him most... She didn't even need to be on his arm to feel the tension flowing through him, and it didn't stop all service. She wondered if that was because people stood too close and he couldn't do anything about it, but it made her wonder what his problem was with people... She also wondered how to voice the question she had. She also noted that he would press his back up against his chair, or leave little room between him and a wall, or him and a table or pillar, especially when talking to anyone of note. Because when he was talking to the people of Nottingham he was above them, and he could walk around on that balcony like he owned the place. And try not to falter if he ever caught a glimpse of the church... It was then she noticed he'd also shirk away from alcohol. One kind in particular. Everything else he had covered.

And she became curious as to if they were related...

 She was still uncertain as to where his allegiance was. She knew from Tuck that he'd been to confession more than once since their first night together about his lack of monogamy... But she also knew that he wanted to keep her around a lot of the time now. And he was getting both her and Tuck to teach him her culture, Norse History, her own language. That’s how he was getting so good, and Tuck told her this himself, because more than anything, he wanted to be able to deliver her something a little more encouraging than the Sheriff’s latest confession…  Wil was quick to master anything logical and the more she spent time with him the more everything she already thought she knew was confirmed. He was masterful at numbers, he wrote most of what he spoke with little guidance, and politically he was a genius - he knew both what to say and how to say it. The Sheriff could ride, she'd only seen him do it out of necessity (or because she practically begged him) but he rode gracefully and mastered his horse well. She guessed that he was probably born into nobility, but he never really talked about his family either. The only thing she couldn't fathom was his lack of any kind of warrior’s presence – that intuition - Wil wasn’t built correctly; his brain and his logic didn’t work that way... He had the qualities, the skills, but absolutely nothing practical to show for it. Quickly she gathered that he was calculating about her too; what she could do here. That she could be that side of him - it would be a role reversal of nearly every other courtship. But God did he know it would work.  Who would expect her to be a Shield Maiden? She would be perfect. Hell, wasn’t she already doing a mighty fine job?

**

After a particularly hard day at church, where he was more antsy about it than usual, she knew she would have to confront it. She followed behind him, but not too close, all the way back through the castle. He'd already snapped at everyone else for following him and it was starting to get to the point where he was yelling, which made her hang back even more. Wil got to his door and stopped. He let out a sigh and turned back to her.

She took a step back; “I can go…” she didn't meet his eyes, staring at the floor He shook his head “No...No... I'm sorry... Come...” The Sheriff inclined his head and she followed him into his room. He could read her well. Of course he could, his business was politics and reading people. “Darling... Something is troubling you... What is it?” She opened her mouth and hesitated, “I'm sorry... I just... I shouldn't trouble you with this...” He raised his eyebrows, and tipped his head forward; are you sure? “You can tell me... Anything.” She hesitated, and then decided it was make or break “... I just... I could help but notice, and my father always said I was the observant warrior, not an ask questions later one; able to read weaknesses and exactly how to move to-” She paused and shook her head realising she was getting off track, “I digress, that could be something this city needs methinks. But... At first I thought it might just be a church, faith, related issue. Because I feel how tense you are even when you are not holding onto me. And I understand there is weight to your faith even without your position... But, I also noticed how you don't like turning your back to people, and you keep yourself pretty well protected. However, what I also know is it is not just tension. I can read it on your face, often whatever it is, is painful and...” She trailed and looked to the floor, “I'm sorry, I'm really sorry I shouldn't be saying any of this... I just...” She whispered it, “Observed it. I shouldn't have bothered you, Sir, forgive me.” She turned to go but he stopped her; “Y/N. Stop.” She turned back to him, to that curious yet hesitant look on his face “You observed all this?” “Not in a way that you... You don't make it obvious I just... I want to help if... I can...” Though right now, she wasn’t sure even if people did notice it, that they would really have cared about him. The Sheriff tilted his head, if he wanted a future with her, she had to know everything, and he meant everything. Wil advanced on her, taking her hands; “You have every right to know the answer to your question...” He trusted her enough, he knew. “For us to have a future together, you must know the answer to your question...” The Sheriff took a few steps back and turned away from her, shrugging himself out of his leather coat and over-shirt. He swivelled back to her, thinking on something, “Answer me honestly. When we lay together, you didn't touch my back. Why?” She was taken aback slightly by his line of questioning, and the startling look in his blue eyes; hadn't she? “…It was not an entirely conscious decision. Maybe I was more observant than I thought...” His smile was small, “No one… touches me there, or, ever sees this. You- You're not everyone, Y/N, you are my future...” Wil turned back, and even she wasn’t sure she was prepared for what she might see.

He pulled his black undershirt over his head and her hands instantly went to her mouth in shock. All across his back; irregularly, were pink, red and white lines. He was covered in them; different sizes and certainly different depths, of scarring. How!? She’d seen plenty of scars before, but these could not possibly have been from war. Not at all by the sheer number alone. She clamped a hand to her mouth instead to stop her from crying out in pain she didn’t even feel. She didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know if she should say anything or if she could say anything.  She also had the distinct feeling these were not scars from multiple wars. They were too concentrated, too precise. With his back to you in battle all it would take is one good strike... “This requires a little more explanation I know...” She almost didn’t want it, but he persevered, still showing his back to her. “When I was a boy, I was sent to Foundling House... the fathers of all the Lords you know ran it, and as you can expect the Archdeacon and clergy had their part to play too... My father, rest his soul was no longer around by this point so I essentially had no choice in the matter. But, we would have to go and buy whatever they beat us with. Canes, usually. Night practice... all of them drunk...” Wil almost laughed, “And that was when it was good. God forbid they use anything stronger than that. They don't hurt... As such. Not now, this is years ago but sometimes, things just-” “How long—?!” This wasn't just once or twice this was years’ worth of repeat abuse. Some of those scars were deep. He gave a shrug and she watched his muscle structure disfigure those marks for just a second. “I was there the majority of my youth well into my teens. Eventually you reach the stage where you become more than just numb to it. And far too old to be any fun. I got out, and eventually got into office. Strength well and truly beaten into me... the best thing to do was keep quiet. Most couldn’t... you can’t even imagine, Y/N, how young some of them were...” He took a breath, “Years of it. I thought one day the scars might fade. They haven’t. But I always watch my back. And trust me, the Church will never fail to remind me of what I was put through back then...” He spun himself half around suddenly as she couldn’t take it anymore, and her shock had become sobs. “...I- I-” She tried to get it out, but she was too appalled. Her heart was breaking for him and for everyone else who had gone through that; so many of them, and for what? To be strong enough to lead here? But broken enough to still be firmly under the thumb of the Church? “I’m so sorry...” She cried and he was slightly taken aback. “Y/N...” She ran then, still crying, across the room and threw her arms around him, locking him in a tight embrace. He tensed immediately at the sensation of her chest to his back; his bare skin. Her tears dripping and running in slow rivers onto all those scars. “H-Hey...” he sighed, “It’s not- Y/N it’s not on you.” “I don’t care! How could they?!” “Because that is what they do. The Church is power here, Y/N. Those in power are unfair. And it is this that made me... I am not the man you want me to be...” He was striking himself amongst them. “You are not like them. You are NOT them!!” “God, I will cling to power as if I was...” Wil murmured it, placing a hand over hers, “Y/N. I am not a good man.” But she knew he was a broken one, and she could help, surely he couldn’t be so far gone. He had resentment of his upbringing... but this is what he was hiding, she knew. His fear. He still feared that the Church, those Lords, could take everything away from him. The Sheriff was in deep, and twisted, and it was all on them. “Children... I just can’t imagine... but to children!? It’s barbaric! There are similar rituals elsewhere, but optional, and for much older men-! There should be mercy on children!!!” His laugh was bitter; “Their idea of mercy was dulling the pain with Brandy.” It clicked; “Alcohol? That’s why you don’t drink it.” “As if the taste of something like that wouldn’t bring it all back... my, my, you are observant.” She still couldn’t understand it; “Why?” She unlinked her hands, and tentatively she ran her fingers over one of the many; when he tensed, she hesitated until Wil relaxed under her touch again, he didn’t tell her to stop, so she continued. As the Sheriff gripped her tighter, she realised that he was still working through so much... And working through it all now just to allow her to do this. “If they break you then you will keep faith forever. How could you not? If they don’t break you, you end up with strong... ruthless... brutal leadership qualities. Guess that’s what puts me here.  Under the watchful eye of the sons of all those men and the Church. Never forget, Y/N, they can take all this from me in a heartbeat, and they will, if I do not toe the line. My own ambitions aside -  and they will not just take my power, my money, my people, this city... they will take YOU.” “No.” If it was possibly to hold him tighter she did so. “I fear it may not be your decision. And it pains me to ask you to toe the line of a religion so far removed from your own...” After what he had just told her?!? “But I am afraid that to protect you I must...” She realised the Sheriff was right, and for him she must at the very least accept this new faith.  She took a breath; “For you. I will do anything. But for this... I will not forgive them.”

***

She wasn’t thinking as clearly about all of this as she should have been. In fact, she was getting a little too used to falling in love, that she forgot exactly what he was capable of. Sitting alone in the church one afternoon - when the sunshine seemed to stream in through every window, warming her and throwing every colour she could think of and more across the stone flooring - she took solace in the peace and tranquillity. It was nice to sit here and think, and sometimes pray. It might have made no sense, that her Gods would answer her here - but she felt something mystical about being in such a place. Even with its own connotations on his past - now so obviously affecting his present, and if he wasn’t careful so much of his future. The sound of opening and shutting doors caused her to look up. And she stood almost immediately in shock. Confessional. Once again he was coming from confessional-!? She took two steps back which she hoped were silent - only to knock loudly against one of the pews. The sound echoed around the empty building - and the Sheriff instantly spotted her. He looked just as shocked to be caught as she was to catch him. And she was already running by the time that he had started towards her. He called her name – but there was no way she was about to listen to him.

The problem was she didn’t even know where she was running to. Completely blind and reckless she had suddenly lost all sense of direction as she ran through the streets of Nottingham. The Sheriff, of course, knew every backroad and shortcut here and if he was quick on his feet (not usual but not unheard of!) he’d make it back to the palace before she would. Although that would leave him very little time to catch his breath and think on what to say.

She was almost back - where she could go back to her room and scream into her pillow and kick herself that it would mean anything. That she would ever mean anything to him. That he would ever love her. But as she rounded the final corner into the courtyard so did Wil - from the opposite direction. “NO!” She almost screamed - trying to find any way out of an interaction, he wasn’t as quick as her and she dodged him easily. “Y/N! WAIT-! WAIT-! JUST Let me explain!!!” Actually, this time it really wasn’t about taking another lover – the Sheriff had a lot on his mind he wanted to clear, and thought it best to do it there. Figures that she would catch him at the worst possible time. Probably God’s way of laughing at him even more.

“Y/N!!” His chase of her was relentless, and at this point she wondered how long he could keep this up for, until they came to another corridor - Wil put on a sudden burst of speed, to aim to catch her at the sharp turn she’d have to take and slow down for (else risk crashing into the far wall of the much narrower corridor.). Only she didn’t just slow down, she completely halted - and he didn’t have the reaction time to stop himself. Stumbling into her and then pushing her out into the corridor, where she had to evade both the wall, and falling over. Added to this commotion, was the group of Lords standing at the other end of the corridor, who all turned towards the sound. “Oh! Sheriff! Carina Matheson is here to see you from Shirebrook...”

Well, if that didn’t make a bad day worse, he didn’t know what would. The woman he was chasing had steadied herself by, now, creating a gap between them that she very much wanted to stay that way, and tossing her hair back in annoyance. This was far from over The group of them were talking to another pretty young female, light brown hair with freckles and gorgeous green eyes - who looked like the timid, shy, would-do-anything-for-you type. A multitude of flowers running through her neatly braided hair. As a formality, William smiled, “Carina, it’s nice to see you...” “Likewise, Sheriff, it’s been a little while.” Naturally, his wife-to-be had had enough. Her expression was darker than thunder clouds and she turned to him.  Whatever she shouted was not in English - and he was pretty sure he saw tears, before she ran from him. “No! Y/N! Wait—! Can we-! Y/N!!”

 **

 She didn’t think she was being too harsh calling him that. At this point she thought he bloody deserved it.  And once again she was running blind, this time not because her mind was racing, but because of her tears. So much so that when she slammed the door to her room she realised that she was not, in fact, in her room. But his. And that made her panic more. Why had she come here!? What had drawn her here!? Why was she so intent to keep him in her head and let him break her heart over, and over, and over when this was all he did? And all he’d ever be. She’d be one of many for the rest of her life. That was it. She jumped at the knock; “Y/N... can we talk about this, please?” “GO AWAY!” “Sweetheart please let me in...” “No!” Although she wasn’t exactly stopping him from just opening the door. “It isn’t what you think, I promise you that.” But there was a sigh, “However, I do agree this conversation is a little overdue...” She took a few more seconds but eventually opened the door, dejectedly “A little!?” “I know. I know why you’re upset. And you have every single right to be, I’m not blaming you. Whatever you called me I probably deserved it...” She walked over to the bed and sat down, possibly just to move away from him again. But she still wouldn’t turn to him. “...Please, Y/N, look at me… and let me explain.” She did so, possibly only to get it over with. “Carina – Cara - and her husband run things together in Shirebrook - it’s a few hours ride away, up near Sherwood forest, and I think you might like it. She reminds me a little of you and I asked her up here to discuss what their needs are for the forthcoming season, because I think you just might like her too.” He took slow strides over to her, and her eyes lowered from him again, “As for confessional... there’s just a lot that I need to get off my mind right now, especially with the War effort going on, it wasn’t about anyone... else.” He held his hand out for hers, hoping she might eventually turn to him and take it. “I am not asking you to forgive me for what I’ve done. I just want you to know what I was doing today. That you shouldn’t hold a grudge against Cara for something that isn’t her fault.” Wil sighed, sitting next to her; “I know I ask this too much of you. But you must please forgive me…” He took her hands in his, and finally she looked back at him, and she didn’t pull away; “Y/N… I know that I am not a good man to you… but… I feel you also know how much of a front this is. I have been so unfaithful, and yet you remain?... I know you may not have a choice as such but I- I am supposed to marry you… To make you the Lady of Nottingham you deserve to be… But, I do NOT deserve you…” She gripped his hand tighter. From what she’d seen of him she understood why he hid behind these forms of affection. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as giving yourself completely to one person. But he had to understand, now, how much it was hurting her - or he never would. “…I have never told anyone… much of what I have told you. I have never let anyone this close… Y/N, and I want to let you closer… I want it to be only you…” He turned, his bright blue eyes begging; “Move in here. With me. I will have Tuck sign us a marriage certificate…. Let me make you into a greater woman. With a title. I will be yours. Y/N… I beg of you. Let me be only yours…”

---

______ I heard you were back in town Oh well, it's been a hot minute since me and you were hanging out Yeah, we had that crazy kind of chemistry Where you get burned, don't learn, don't care Just reach for another match and gasoline

Better hide the wine, and get it gone Oh I better hide every one of them records that turn me on  Turn up the lights, and kill the mood 'Cause baby I just don't trust myself with you I better hide the wine

Well I know me and I know you... Oh oh with one sip, one tip, we'll be sitting on the couch You'll be kicking off your shoes Oh knock-knock, here you come a-knockin' on my door But you're gonna have to wait another minute on the porch Oh no, no, it's a dangerous thing Pouring alcohol on an old flame ---

noun

Abstinence from alcoholic drink.

Temperance is defined as moderation or voluntary self-restraint. It is typically described in terms of what an individual voluntarily refrains from doing.

You knew the game. How many times had you played it? Too many. But this time, this time, you swore not to get dragged into it. You wouldn’t play. No matter how hard he tried to get you to. No matter how much you wanted to. And you always wanted to. But it went around and around. Ever since you’d been much younger. Ever since he’d caught your eye, and you his, around Foundling House. Before he got a fancy title; and attire to go with it. When he was young and angry, and would sneak you to the roof with the best bottle of wine he could find, and he’d yell to let of steam. He’d yell for the sake of yelling… like he did now. Except back them he didn’t have the authority to make that yelling go anywhere. Now he did. When the yelling was over, and the bottle was finished, you’d both sneak elsewhere. And that’s what you always looked forward to. He grew up and moved on. Sort of. He was older than you and could do such things. Still surrounded by so much he hated, sometimes he would return to where you grew up. To where you knew him back when he had a name, not a title. And that was dangerous. Because he would always carry with him a good bottle of wine. One thing would always lead to another and the next thing you were aware of there were clothes all over the floor, and you were back to the familiarity of the warmth and scent of his body. The sounds he made. The sounds you made – but only for him. You longed for that as much as he did. But that was all it was. On and off, and on and off again. Never serious; you were sure neither of you wanted anything serious as it was. But that didn’t stop you thinking you could move on. And it didn’t stop him from coming after you. On rare occasions, very rare occasions, you would be called to him. To Nottingham. And it just so happened that when a rider and invitation appeared at your door; you were called again. This was worse. At lavish parties that the Sheriff hosted you couldn’t escape alcohol and you couldn’t escape him. And it was alcohol, wasn’t it? That made you unable to resist each other. Because it never seemed to start with anything else. Sure, you didn’t have to attend. But that would be rude. You liked to remind him who he really was. Of the company he used to keep (that you bet he wished he still could keep). To alleviate the boredom. Especially on his side; what did he do all day anyway? This time though you had vowed, no drinking… You wouldn’t goad him, or tease him, or hell, even want him. You would take it like two friends catching up. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to hold on. But holding on to him for your entire life? You were fairly certain that at some point you should realise that this was all it was going to be. He’d be married eventually; you were surprised the Church hadn’t coerced him into that yet… and you had met someone else. But, that also wasn’t serious. Trouble was, you had a feeling that this one could be something, could develop into something, that whatever you had with the Sheriff was not… So you accepted the invite. And when the time came you made your way to Nottingham. And this time you were nearly intent on avoiding him entirely. If not for any reason other than to torture him yourself.

*** Your dress flowed gently behind you, off-shoulder and low cut, pulling in at the waist you knew exactly what you were doing by wearing this. There wasn’t any point wearing anything inconspicuous anyway, he’d still find you. In which case you might as well flaunt it; show him what he couldn’t have. Or what you were intent on denying him. If you could. Avoiding him wasn’t as hard as you’d imagined. This dress and the way you’d dressed up tonight drew people to you. Those who didn’t know you wanted to find out exactly who you were. Those that did clearly wanted to talk to you for other reasons… What was certainly unusual for you, was every drink you were offered you refused. There was nothing better than being offered or bought a drink. Especially from charming young men who might well make the Sheriff jealous. But then he’d cut in, obviously scare the other man off, you’d both be drinking and one thing would lead to another, meaning you’d wake up in his bed again. So there was absolutely no way a drop of alcohol was passing your lips. Having said that, you weren’t actively trying to avoid him; you actually wanted to make eye contact and tease him, but also make sure he got nowhere near you. Having said that it wasn’t hard; everyone always wanted to be all over the Sheriff – female or otherwise. And for a multitude of reasons. But the only one he wanted to be all over, or to be all over him was you. And tonight you weren’t playing. He’d seen you – oh, of course he had, how could he not? – wandering this party looking flawless… But he hadn’t been able to escape the usual crowd, or the Lords, yet. He wanted to escape this as quickly as possible and go over to you. But every conversation he dismissed had him falling right into another. And it was frustrating because he so desperately wanted you. Of course he invited you as a friend, but, that wasn’t what you really were. And when he’d received your acceptable note back, the Sheriff knew exactly why you’d come. For exactly the same reason he wanted you here. Because he craved that intimacy. To talk to someone who would hold him close, and listen, and understand, and run their fingers through his hair. No judgement, no opinion (at least not one that would oppose his. Usually you saw his viewpoint completely… Or calmed him down.), no strings. He could love on you as much as he wanted, and it would never be anything more than that.

** Eventually of course he caught you, so you had no choice by to converse with him; “Would you like some wine?” “Uh, no. I don’t think so.” “That’s very unusual for you… Let me get you something…” He snapped his fingers to beckon a waiter over “NO. No, trust me… I won’t be drinking a drop.” “Well, we can’t all be expected to follow suit, can we? Come on, I’ll have something, you should toast…” “Toast what?!” You looked around you, “A successful party? I can do that without alcohol.” You weren’t sure you liked the small smirk on his face; “Oh? Can you really? What are you worried about; I’ve seen you when you’re very, very far gone before – what happened? When did you get boring on me?” “…I’m well aware of what you’ve seen when I’ve been drinking…” “OHHHH – Is that what you’re worried about…” He pulled himself in closer to you; “Like that isn’t the reason you came here…” “Its-” “In that dress…?” The Sheriff’s voice was dark and husky, and you thought you might need a real drink to still everything. “…Huh, Y/N…” You couldn’t hold his eyes, no way, but that made your eyes focus on his chest; all the toning underneath all that wool and leather. You swallowed hard, and he noticed “That’s it… Don’t deny it…” You took a breath, and somehow with it came the courage to face those cold blue eyes. Not cold to you, but everyone else; and they were darker now. And you knew why when you could feel him this close to you. You loved watching them change like that; maybe this time around you’d missed your chance; “I’m not confirming or denying anything… But I’m certainly not drinking.” “Surely you won’t object to me drinking…?” “No.” Although you did, if this was going to work you’d prefer not to have him basically hanging all over you due to the amount he’d drunk. Because you were still supposed to be making sure what you both wanted didn’t happen. But, mmmmhn… The scent of him, the heat you could feel that you so desperately wanted to be wrapped up in now you were here…  He wasn’t touching you, but God, you knew it would feel so good if he did. Instead his hands were behind him, keeping his back straight. You had to bite your lip to stop the small moan escaping your lips at the thought of leaving scratches there… He could see it on your face, and that made him bend towards you; “Come on… Y/N… Tell me why you’re here…” It was weird, for him to be here, this close and talking like this and no one seeming to pay any attention. Because they sure had been paying a lot of attention to the both of you separately. Had he told them to leave him alone, had he told them to leave you both alone? You shook your head, because if you opened your mouth he’d know you were an outright liar – or worse, the truth would spill. But that only made his smirk broaden and then he did pull you into him, and you gasped. “Tell me.” “You know…” “Of course I know…” he kept that voice at a steady almost-growl “…I want to hear you say it.” “NO.” “Why not?” “Never!” Suddenly pulling you to him wasn’t enough, he had to touch your skin, taste your lips. Have you in any way that you would have him. So you found his lips on yours. And your hands on his coat didn’t push him away; but pull him in. But this was wrong; so wrong. It was exactly what you couldn’t allow yourself to have. What you didn’t want… But damn you wanted it so bad. You could taste the wine on his lips, and realised that your promise of no alcohol was quickly being thrown out of the window. Eventually you came to your senses enough to push him back; this was wildly inappropriate in the public eye. What the HELL was he doing?! “Control yourself!” Now your voice was at a growl and your eyes were fierce “We’re not sneaking around at Foundling House anymore…!!” “No we aren’t, my darling… But we could still do a lot of sneaking…” He raised his eyebrows as if to make a point, just in case you weren’t getting it. You let him go and took a few steps backwards; “Sneaking…?” and you finally smiled “I’d like to see you do any sneaking any more… Sheriff…” But now you’d had your first taste, your first sip and you craved more. But if he got to kissing you here, you’d be at the bar, you’d drink... it’d get messy... If you got to kissing elsewhere... Hold on, Y/N, kissing shouldn’t even come into this... the whole point was not to be caught up in him tonight. But then the Sheriff had a point; why did you come? if not to get tangled up with him, literally. Nottingham wasn’t your style, so it made very little sense for you to want to come here for any other reason. Parties where alright but also not your scene so... he was your only reason. And you could tease him all you liked, but what you should have expected was retaliation; him to tease you back or him to really go for it. And he did, no mercy... You kept your eyes trained on him and his on you as you hurried to the hall doors. You turned, one last glance. The choice was his. He followed you and you both got what you wanted, or he didn’t and you left knowing you’d done what you’d prescribed to yourself as the right thing. Did you even know what the right thing was? One last look to determine if he was brave enough and you slipped through the door. Of course he was. It would be stupid to think otherwise. And you weren’t far down the corridor you were making your way down before you heard footsteps. But that just made you walk faster... Suddenly the second echo stopped and you paused, when it didn’t pick up again you turned.  The corridor was empty. You took one step forward, puzzled. Was it even him you had heard? Who else would it be? But if so where did they go?! They weren’t walking up the other hallway, you could see this corridor stretch ahead of you. And you hadn’t heard a door open, although there was one almost adjacent to the one you had walked through. You became unnerved to realise that the sound you could hear was your own breathing, and your heart beating in your ears. You almost sounded scared; unless it was exhilaration? You continued watching the corridor, intrigued and listened out for anything that could possibly signal that anyone else was around. Sheriff of Nottingham or otherwise. In one swift movement from your left your question was answered, although in the dim lighting you couldn’t see exactly who had grabbed you; it caught you off guard, but your attempt to shriek was stifled by a hand clamped firmly over your mouth as you were dragged across the corridor. Your back came into contact with a stone colonnade and you protested again at the way it pressed up against your back.

You came face to face with those blue eyes - now shining silver in the light that made its way in

“If you wanted me alone why didn’t you just say so-!?” He hissed, removing his hand from your mouth you didn’t have time to retaliate before he replaced it with his lips. And once again you were met with the sweet intoxication of alcohol. Ugh, give me my Sin again He tangled his fingers in your hair and didn’t show any signs of stopping the kiss. Well, now you knew exactly where you were you didn’t feel like stopping it either. And your hands ran fervently from his chest to his neck; pulling him ever closer so that his body pressed up against yours again. He broke the kiss for respite, but not from you, and you could have killed him. “To be honest this has not gone according to plan!” “Oh?” Instead he kissed your cheek and down to your jaw line “And why is that? Don’t tell me you don’t want me!?” “N-no...” Although your protest sounded more like a whine of delight “...just like I don’t want any alcohol...” “Ah... I see...” His lips found your neck and his head pushed yours to gain exposure. And now your fingers ran into his hair and you tipped your head back for him. Ugh! I hate you! I hate you! You’d been doing this so long he knew your body like his. And what you really liked never changed much in all those years. “You’re attempt to abstain was a valiant effort...” The Sheriff whispered against your skin “...But sometimes we just have to give in to what we want most...” You didn’t have enough fight left in you to retort with Oh? And that’s you is it?! “Well, if it has to be one or the other-”

You gasped as he lifted you from the ground; back still up against the colonnade his hands slipped under your dress to grip your thighs as his lips found yours again. Some resistance Y/N... well, if you weren’t going to resist you might as well join in and not miss out. Your hands found the clasps on his jacket and afterwards the fastenings on his shirt with ease. This was almost second nature. You wrapped your legs around him to another growl that reverberated (delightfully) through your body. You almost smirked into the kiss as his hands travelled further across your skin; pulling you further into him - but this time accompanied by the slightly harsh grind of his hips into yours. You had to break the kiss, you had no choice but to moan his name at that. Damn! He chuckled “Always the same...” “You best not be complaining...” your voice was pitchy and breathless, you didn’t just want him now, you needed him. “On the contrary...” His fingers slipped into your underwear and your moan was louder now. “Mmm...” the hum was satisfied; “I thought so...” This time you almost glared at him, but it didn’t last long. I HATE you!! Why did he make you feel this good? Why did he always make you feel this good?!?

He continued to touch you exactly where you needed him to, and pleasure became elation. You were conscious of the party still; so even though it was loud in there you continued to stifle your moans. He wasn’t exactly happy about that, but you knew how to keep your mouth shut - you’d had to do it enough in similar situations - meaning no amount of grinding or growling from him was going to make you any louder. And that was a good thing; because the next thing you knew the doors swung open and light flooded your private little corridor. He dropped you instantly and pulled you around the colonnade. But the absence of his fingers made you whine louder than you’d been doing under his touch. You noticed how he still pressed his body into yours as you inched around the stone structure. A bunch of giggling, likely drunk, partygoers hanging off each other seemed to bicker with each other just outside the doors. You looked to each other with raised eyebrows as if that hadn’t ever been you once - and as the same thought crossed your mind you tried not to giggle like children yourselves, to no avail. You peered around the corner again “guess you still do need to sneak around Sheriff...” “Hush...” He nudged you gently, and pulled you back just a touch to make sure you weren’t spotted. “Leave...” He murmured it to himself, but his hot breath caressed your skin and nearly made you shiver as you watched them slowly make their way across the hall; nearly screaming with laughter as they stumbled over one another. “Leave...” his voice was a little more impatient as they once again stopped and began searching around for something. He sighed, and the pull of his body from yours made you turn to him; “Hmm?” His eyes traced your lips momentarily and the Sheriff smiled before he kissed them “I have a feeling if we continue here, we won’t remain uninterrupted for long...” You knew what that kiss meant; “Tell me what you had in mind?” He took your hand in his; “Come with me - I know just the room...”

 **

 You thought he might mean just a quiet room somewhere, as everyone was preoccupied, so many rooms would be empty for the entire night and possibly the majority of the morning too. But no. His room. that’s what he meant. And suddenly this was too personal and too intimate, and you should have been walking out of there, no alcohol in your system and no love from him. But you didn’t care. You weren’t drunk, but you were drunk on the way he made you feel. The door was barely closed, let alone locked and he was on you. Hands tangled back in your hair; he wasted no time in pushing you back towards his bed. Pulling you head back to once again expose your neck to him, his other hand left your hair to pull your dress down your arms and body. No, he really wasn’t attempting to waste time. Maybe he thought you’d change your mind. You couldn’t trust yourself, and you should have known that the second the invite came through. You should have torn it up and forgot about him, but you didn’t. You never had, you never did, you never could. So your hands found your dress too and helped him, almost impatiently, undress you. He released you for a minute, eyebrow raised; “I thought you weren’t doing this?” “OH SHUT UP!” His smirk accompanied his laugh, and he shrugged himself out of grey leather and wool – helping you with the fastenings of his black undershirt; “Why did I bother with the damn party?” “I think you were certainly thinking alcohol…”  You let him throw his shirt to the floor and attempt to pull his feet from his boots as you undid his pants; “No, no, wait – that’s not going to-” “Hush!” He nudged you back and kicked both off – but there wasn’t even enough time to stare at each other for a moment and get lot in it. No romance lost here… He grabbed you back into his arms and you both hit the bed; a passionate tangle of limbs and hot, breathless kisses. He was perfect… Every inch of him perfect. Although you couldn’t be sure at this point you were really registering him – given that you were absorbed in kisses – rather than anything else; that all seemed to be entirely subconscious… The Sheriff was flawless… the sex was flawless… His vibrant blue eyes both glittering and sinfully dark… A mixture leaving you lost for words before you’d even started…

 You couldn’t even describe how and what you felt. There was so much ‘pleasure’ that it was almost an out of body experience; you’d done this so many times and yet…this time left you wondering if this was actually happening… It was both too hot and yet cool; and completely sober you realised that you both seemed to fit together perfectly – his pale skin gliding smoothly over yours, creating fire at every point of contact. His kisses were deliciously hot, hungrier and yet still holding the gentle temperament that he always tried to keep with you…  How did he manage to keep control? You’d lose it if it wasn’t for him; but then again, you had lost it because of him…

That lustful tangle of limbs, an embrace; just a series of short kisses and even shorter breaths. His eyes were perfectly dark, passionate and they slowly became your point of focus…  You tangled your hands through his neat grey hair as he ran his lips over yours again… It was more than perfection… More than any excitement you’d ever experienced… More than bliss… There were no words anymore to describe the way this made you feel… HE made you feel…

His hand crept slowly down you left arm – although now calm… it still made your skin tingle as he whispered incoherent sentences in your ear. When his hand found yours you instinctively laced your fingers with his and kissed him again…You weren’t sure, and couldn’t be certain. Far too tired, and half way to sleep before the words passed your lips, but if you were to whisper anything to him then… Whatever you said…Not incoherently… Just purely honest… Too tired to remember and probably to care what kind of feelings were thus spilled from your lips, you just hoped that you had let him know how much he meant to you…

***

When you awoke to sunlight and his steady breathing you knew you’d made a mistake. You covered your face with your hands and let out a gentle groan. “Damn…” Staying wasn’t the problem, sleeping with him wasn’t the problem. Breaking a promise to yourself? You were just a little disappointed. You shifted your gaze to him, still sleeping but holding you strong in his arms and sighed in content; only a little… You gently brushed strands of his hair from his face and wriggled your body to nuzzle into his chest. As you might expect, the next thing you heard was the rumble of his laugh building there, and then running across your skin. His fingers danced across your shoulders as he caressed you, and you felt his lips against your forehead. “You stayed…” “You think I had a choice?” “…I would expect as such that you would leave.” “Are you kicking me out of your bed, Sheriff…?” Your enquiry was met with a huff; “No. I’m just used to your long string of babbled regret…” “Ah, well, usually I’ve been drinking and basically regret everything…” You sighed “Oh, I really did it this time.” “…How so?” He pulled slightly away from you so that he could gaze at you properly; tilting your chin so that your eyes met his “…I promised myself I wouldn’t do this.” “Oh, am I that unsatisfactory?” “NO!” You protested, disliking his slightly hurt pout, “No…” you took his hand in yours “…In myself… every time this happens we’re drinking and I…” you paused for a minute, and your face lit up in realisation; “But I DIDN’T DRINK!” “No, and how with all those people, I have no idea. I need your tolerance…!” You tilted your head with a smile; “Well, now I’m proud of myself. I did one thing right…” “Just the one?” You pushed the Sheriff’s arm at his cheeky smile “If I can keep half a promise, then that’s half a promise more than I expected…” But you’d realised something else; “…But… I always thought this happened because of the wine… Maybe that’s not…” you hesitated, biting your lip “…The issue.” “I fail to see any issue with this.” He kissed your face again, and continued to afford you butterfly kisses as you attempted to get an explanation out; “It’s unsustainable…!!” “Then stay…” His voice was soft, but that wasn’t what shocked you. “…Stay here, to be with me.” On receiving no response his eyes met yours again; “…Was that not a good suggestion?” Your eyes were wide; and for once there was something in them he didn’t recognise. He didn’t think he’d ever seen you scared before. You swallowed, blinking your fear away; “I- I can’t.” “Why?” He pulled you closer, as if you were about to scurry out of bed and leave him here alone “Well I… I don’t even really like Nottingham.” You took a deep breath and bit your lip again, this time leading into a smirk; “But---! I do think you could persuade me…” As expected, the Sheriff caught your wave length immediately, and caught your smirk with a teasing one of his own – leaving a chaste kiss on your lips before rolling you over; “...Oh, I think I know how...”

________ Don't tell me that you got better plans For those velvet hands, they're in demand Don't tell me that you're not a little curious Don't be so serious, it can be only us If you want more than your eyes on me, You can let me know privately RSVP Bring your love to me, It's an open invitation to an all-night situation If I'm where you wanna be RSVP I'm a fun party, yeah All you gots to bring your loving 'Cause I ain't wearing nothing Nothing you can't take off me

---

It had been more than just a few days, but she couldn’t take it. She didn’t want to see him any more than she had to, not right now. The conversation was short, and polite. The Sheriff could apologise in Norse all he wanted, but it clearly meant nothing to him if he was going to do the same thing over, and over, and over… She was hell bent on ignoring him entirely. Only she didn’t want to show that attitude in front of her brother… Too good for her own good. It’ll get better… It has to get better… Hearing it from Tuck, or just simply knowing he’d been to confessional was something she could block out, after all – The Sheriff could be confessing anything. Everyone was supposed to confess something. But seeing him do it. It broke her heart. But she still watched him walk away with so much longing. Because she wanted him so badly. And it was getting even worse now. Why could they have him when she could not? Why would he not just wait for her…? So she occupied her time exploring the city on horseback; she had been allowed to keep her blue war horse Eyhamel from home. And she had spent a little bit of time (maybe too much time) complaining to him (and crying to him) in the stables whilst he adjusted. But Marcus had noticed this; pretending he didn’t or keeping his mouth shut for his own good he didn’t exactly know, all he knew was he wasn’t about to go to the Sheriff with it. And so one day around the castle, he suggested she come with him for a ride around Nottingham. “…For both defence purposes… you can see the city better when its not drawn on a map, don’t you think?” He gave a reassuring smile “And… when you get married… a city over which you will preside.” Her face almost fell at the notion, but she took a breath and turned her eyes upon the pieces of the city that she could see from the walkway. “…I’d like that…” He thought she might, it was time she got out of here, and spent a little bit of time away from the Sheriff. Marcus thought they were good together, so if he could help to cool things down a little he would endeavour to do so. Askel was walking briskly towards them, and Marcus thought there was no better time than now for this either; “…We could take your brother too, don’t you think?” She turned, with a bigger smile, and repeated herself; “I’d like that. A lot.” Marcus had spent a little bit of time with Askel himself; but thought to Nordic man was just a little too extreme sometimes. Why don’t you execute people like this or this or THIS! It made Marcus pay closer attention to his own facial expressions, he guessed. The three of them enjoyed wandering, and Marcus found himself becoming fast friends with both of them. He knew she was never going to treat him like a second in command, she never gave off that air; and he thought that one of the things she needed most right now was a friend. Marcus knew she had Tuck, but he provided her with something a little more down to earth. And beside her brother, the only warrior she interacted with like this. The rest of the guys liked her sure enough, but they were also slightly scared of her… Or in awe… or both. Askel, getting to grips with his English language, was funny and had a sharp tongue to match his sharp wit. She would often hit him or push him if she found him saying something she deemed inappropriate. Siblings…! And even though he was older, Marcus noticed that Askel listened to what she said. She’s fierce… She’s respected… When we get her out here and we give her something to defend… and she has to attack… she will be more than just a force to be reckoned with. She could probably guard Nottingham by herself. Marcus suddenly had a better thought as his head swivelled to her, now sharing in a Norse joke, the way she laughed and looked harmless. No one would ever know what she was to look at her. If she was going to remain at the Sheriff’s side… She’d be better than a personal body guard. Well, Marcus… First they have to smooth things over… Soon enough he found himself racing through the streets with her alone, she and her horse could move quick, and he’d often lose her around turns and bends, and find her 5 minutes later folding her arms and wondering where he’d got to. She was becoming more and more independent. And now she carried that map around and started marking out plans. Marcus knew she was nearly ready. She could handle all this on her own already, he reckoned. Lucian would give her complete control soon; and she would do well to shake things up. People could become accustomed to the way Nottingham defended itself. Let’s see them defend against her! Of course these solo outings between the two of them, wending through the lower parts of Nottingham, and as close to the mines as he dared to take her right now. Had her asking all the important questions. And he knew she was getting used to it being her city. A City that would soon look to her for answers, as much as it would her husband to be. Looking to her to protect them, and to care for them. Marcus watched the way she surveyed everything, how she smiled at the people passing her by, and greeted them. She could do both, and he knew she would do them impeccably well. Which led to at least a small frustration of his own with his Sheriff. Could William not see what he had? Or could he simply not see what he was doing to her by continuing down the route he’d always been on. Did William just think about consequences later? Or did he think consequences wouldn’t apply to him…? Marcus learned a lot about the Sheriff from her. But it was mostly in the form of complaints. Which he would never repeat, but had him laughing; even when he was sure by the look on her face he shouldn’t have been laughing. But he felt it was good to know, and he asked questions he felt important to his status. If he was to defend this city, he would think defending the most important man in it was also a top priority. And she seemed to know everything he did and everywhere he went. What better woman in Nottingham to know?! Today when they rode back into the stables Marcus noticed how curious she got about the ebony horse in the far end. He’d watched her watch him before; but today as she unbridled her own and led him to his own stable she approached the horse herself. “Careful Y/N…” She turned to him, eyebrow raised “Why?” “He’s a good horse… But, he has an odd temperament. And I’ll tell you this, he’d not ridden half as often as he aught to be.” She stopped by the gate to his stable and watched him calmly; if he wanted to come to her, he would. “What’s his name?” “…Vesper.” “Vesper?” She repeated a word fairly foreign to her. “Yes… As in, Evening.” There was some mythology to the name also that he’d heard rambled about, but didn’t really understand. “Clever.” She said it softly, noticing the white blaze down the horses face “His rider would probably think so, I don’t think you aught to be giving him so much credit. They have the same temperament in fact…” Marcus hung up his own tack “…Fitting really!” She lent her head on the wooden structure; the horse looked powerfully built, tall, lean – underutilized. He looked ready to run – it made her suddenly sad. “To whom does he belong?” “Uhm.” Marcus bit his lip “…The uh… man you are bound to marry.” She dropped her gaze; why did that even surprise her? “He used to ride quite a lot, you know? Vesper is pretty quick. Exceedingly calm in crowd and damn steady. If… a little unruly… Unfortunately once you become someone as powerful as the Sheriff is, going out on a horse solo is not exactly safe an-” As he turned back to her, his eyes widened. Only she--!!! She could quite believe it herself as the horse wandered to her, she outstretched her hand slow and calm as he stopped just shy of her. But Vesper let her run her hands over his muzzle, and took another few paces to let her continue to stroke him. She placed her forehead to the horses and closed her eyes. From where he was Marcus couldn’t quite hear what she was murmuring, but he knew it was Norse. She opened her eyes again, and there was a sheen to the sadness in her eyes – he knew she was going to cry again. “…Seems like you and me are the same… Vesper…”  Her head shake was gentle “…Don’t worry, darling, we’re going to change that…” *** Sitting on her bed, in her room in her night dress made her sigh in complete discontent. She didn’t want this. She knew what she did want, and she wasn’t there yet, but she sure didn’t want this. The Sheriff’s own decisions were driving her to this – but at the same time it killed her that every other woman here was having him and not HER. She wasn’t going to marry him until she knew for sure he was hers – but he still had to propose to her; and all this courting back and forth was less than successful, because he had a whole bunch of courtesans he would call upon whenever he wanted (and would like to join him at the lavish parties Nottingham could apparently afford to throw.) Her one consolation prize was every time she walked away from him, in jealousy or disgust, Wil would literally get down on his knees and beg her to stay. And sometimes it really was pathetic. Sometimes she thought it would be best for both of them if she sailed back home – her father would not be pleased, she knew. But surely once she gave her reasoning it would be completely understandable. The problem was she was in love. Or, she was in love with the thought of being in love. He wasn’t what she expected – not hearing about him, nor upon beholding him for herself… He was smart – this flicker of genius he seemed to keep hidden behind the game he was playing. He was as gentle as he was ruthless; and he drew her in as much as he scared her. He was cunning, and calculating, and his power was all in his money. Or so they all thought. She saw through that, but she couldn’t get through to that. He was a rich, powerful, single man. No wonder women threw themselves at him, and no wonder he revelled in that. She was here to marry him, and until he made the decision to walk her on down the aisle, she was stuck waiting on him. The Sheriff knew she couldn’t really go anywhere – but he COULD show her off. He infuriated her because he knew he had her trapped; he infuriated her because any time he would turn his attention to her, she had the opportunity to revel in him. When his eyes were on her she was the only woman in the world, and for a few seconds, minutes, hours maybe Wil could make her believe that he could be faithful…

Well. She simply couldn’t take it anymore.

She rose from the bed and opened the door. The halls of the castle were dark, save from the flicker of torchlight every so often. After dinner she had retired up here and she hadn’t heard anyone come by, so he wasn’t in his own room. Which meant neither was anyone else; good. She knew exactly where he would be… She trod softly on her way to the balcony that overlooked the square. Any time he had to think he went there… Sweeping silently through the rooms, dark here apart from any moonlight and starlight allowed to stream through the windows. He’d left the last set of doors out onto the overlooking walkway open and the breeze left a slight chill across her skin. She stood and watched him, not knowing if he was looking at the stars; at God. Or to the city, his people. Seeing himself as somewhere in between? She watched his shift in position, his back straightened and he pulled his feet from one behind the other to together. His hands found their usual position on the balustrade and she watched his shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath. The Sheriff didn’t hear at first. He had far too much to think about, too much weight on his mind. But he was always cautious – there was just something that always niggled him about having his back to anyone. He guessed with the way he’d grown up it was only natural to be wired into him. He could feel a presence, but it didn’t feel malicious… It certainly snapped him from his thoughts enough to have him take up a more alert position. As he moved the silver concealed knife pressed into his skin, and that at least made him feel safer. “What do you see?” She stepped out onto the balcony, keeping slightly apart from him, he could hear every step she took now, her dress brushing against the stone, then the wood. When William hesitated in answering, she voiced her question again “…When you look out there, what do you see?”

He bit his lips together and swallowed whilst he thought on his answer; “Quiet. For once I see quiet.” He drummed his fingers gently on the polished wood “I see a city full of potential I can’t quite unlock, full of people who love me for the wrong reasons or hate me for the wrong reasons and I’m not sure I know which is which. Hell, maybe they hate me for the right reasons… I see things I have worked for become fruitless, as much as I see happy accidents taking on forms I could have hardly imagined…” He turned to her “…But what I hate seeing most is a woman to whom I cannot give what she wants… I am trying… But I…” he looked away again “…She is like this city… The difference is the city voices its discontent regularly… You only look at me with this distain I know you feel. And I do not blame you or the city for your feelings.” She looked across to him, with a kind of respectful interest, she was right. He was smart, old habits apparently just wouldn’t die. He hadn’t looked back to her as he squinted out over the roof in front of him; “What do you see?” She smiled, and followed his line of sight “I see my future. A future I’m trying to build in my head. If I am to fulfil my purpose here… A future I cannot build alone… In a country I do not know, with a religion I do not understand… But I wish to.” looking back to him, as his eyes were now back on her. The blue turned silver by the moonlight, his eyes betrayed a sadness, but it was deep. And she could already tell it something that was meant to stay hidden; “…I just can’t build that future, in this city alone.” “…I will not be much of a future.” She took a step towards him “You are the only future I have. And whether I like it or not you’re the only future I want.” “…You have no idea how many times I’ve been to confessional about this… I am no good for you, and your father should never have trusted me with you…” She searched those eyes for something that wasn’t hurt, but there wasn’t anything. The Sheriff was a broken man; he was just acting this part. And in that moment she wasn’t even sure if she could put those pieces back together. “I believe in my fathers’ judgement. And I know he was right.” Taking another step forced him to turn towards her, and she closed the gap to just shy of respectful “And I’m right too. All I ask is to be the only woman… It doesn’t surprise me that it is hard for you. I just suppose I might have expected you to try harder. Only I realise that my demands are slightly one sided…” She looked back out to the city “…I want it to be your answer too.” She slid her hand across the railing to meet his and William looked from her face, her eyes bright and hopeful, to the city too; “I want you to see your future when you look at Nottingham, but more importantly… I want you to see your future when you look at me, too.” He made the move to link his fingers with hers, turning the gap between them to mere inches; “…It is not hard to wish I could…” His eyes began to search her’s too, whatever he was trying to find deep inside her too was out of reach, for different reasons. She realised there would be a disconnect as long as what was inside her was not reaching out for what lay deep inside him. She was scared. She was scared that if she gave herself to him, truly gave herself to him, that he would have exactly what he wanted from her, and have his other women too. But what if that wasn’t the case? And she herself was the only person who could change that. “You can. We are both guilty of the same thing. And we need to stop fighting it.” She closed the gap between them without even pause for thought or breath. Holding his hand just a little tighter she reached for his other and found it. Now she just had to find whatever else she was looking for. The problem was she didn’t know what it was. The kiss was longer than she anticipated, and she had to break it to breathe herself. It had done something to him she didn’t realise until she was looking into his eyes again; and he kept his closed for a good number of seconds. Savouring everything – now his nails were digging into her soft skin; he was asking her because he couldn’t voice it, he couldn’t voice the vulnerability not to leave. He wasn’t down on his knees begging but she could see it in his eyes. She took a few steps back, with a confident smile; “You need to know what you would be missing… letting me go…” She didn’t let his hands go until the very last second she could. Their eyes still locked, and his slightly wide as he caught on to her meaning. She backed down the steps and only turned at the door – she was sure he would follow her…

She was slow enough as she traced her way back through the castle, every so often as she rounded a corner, or walked through a doorway, she would look back to make sure Wil was still following her. He was, his steps slow and deliberate… She got to her room door and stopped, she heard him stop further down the corridor… and she wondered… if he would… She turned, her expression voicing her question. Here…? The Sheriff’s face remained stoic, but deadly serious as he gave a slow shake of his head. And he loved the smile he received back…  Her heart fluttered at the thought of what was about to happen. From his string of lovers he kept around she knew this, none of them ever made it to his own chambers… She took a breath, new, relaxed and full of confidence she started her walk, at renewed pace, towards his room… She reached the door and placed her hand to it, turning one last time to watch him; this time he didn’t stop. His eyes locked on her as he walked, one foot in front of the other – more like a stalk than anything – slow and deliberate, towards her. The wood was heavy but she didn’t take her eyes off him as she opened it. She didn’t know if she was scared or excited that she didn’t know what he would do the second she took her eyes off him. Especially here… She slipped inside and for a minute felt like she might begin running. She didn’t when she didn’t hear him do what she expected. He must have been in as much anticipation of her as she was him… All the shutters were open; with no lit torches the room was bathed in silver light. It was beautiful… The room was large, huge in fact; she walked slowly forward, the smile on her lips at just the mere thought of being quite possibly the only woman to see this. At least the only woman of his. The bed was huge, four poster – she couldn’t tell if the sheets were white and grey in his colours – or if the lighting was turning them those shades. She wondered how much he actually slept in here; between work and other woman… He even had a desk in here; papers and books strewn all over it; at least three candles burned completely down and one well on the way… The breeze was also present here; making her hold herself for a moment. She heard the door close behind her, and suddenly became very aware of the beat of her heart. With the strike of a match the room was suddenly bathed in a warmer glow. She turned her head to look at him over her shoulder; aware she was still holding herself. He was taking breaths she could still see, and his eyes were studying her through her dress. The dip of her spine, the curve of her hips… everything he couldn’t see, but could imagine… Wil almost let out a contented hum. She was from the Nordics; notoriously cold – how hot could she love? The Sheriff realised as he surveyed her, he was already thinking of his future. She moved her hands up to her shoulders; now looking away from him she slid the sleeves of her dress down her arms. It was not a move he expected her to make… He wouldn’t even have to undress her?! The fabric slid down her body; exposing more of her to him until she let gravity do the work, and the light, soft nightdress pooled to the floor. He bit his lip trying to hold his groan in. And he had to give himself a minute; affording her to look back shyly over her shoulder to see him fighting the urge to storm over and throw her straight on the bed right now. In both the low torch light and the glow of the moon every single definition of her body was beautiful, where there were flaws – she was flawless. Her muscles were toned and defined by years of being a Shield Maiden, and no woman he had ever been with had that. The Sheriff relived himself of his jacket, and made his way slowly over to her. He had to be careful; he’d seen the flicker in her eyes as she turned away from him once more. She was scared – he’d already guessed she may have never done this before… She reached up and pulled the fastenings from her hair, letting it tumble down her back in gorgeous waves. He was feet from her now. He watched the tense shiver that ran up her body as he unsnapped the clasp on his overshirt. Sliding that off he threw it over the back of his chair. Wil closed the gap between them, winding his arms around her body; he felt her tense again as he pulled her back against his chest… He breathed her in, placing his forehead gently to the back of hers. “Shhh…” his voice was soothing as he hushed her. He could feel her heart pounding in her chest. “…I promise… It will be alright… I’m going to take you slow… Ok?” He brushed her hair over her shoulder, kissing her exposed neck gently… “Nice and slow…” She shivered again, but he could tell this was a different kind of shiver. “Y/N…” He said her name softly “…Do you trust me…?” “…Yes…” Her voice waivered with emotions she was feeling for the first time. “Good girl…” He turned her towards him; but kept his eyes on her face, she was looking away from him; “No… No… Don’t… Don’t be embarrassed.” Her eyes met his under his authoritative tone “…You have nothing to be embarrassed about…” His eyes told her to trust him again as he traced her body again; My God…To lie with her for the rest of his life? William at least hoped he was keeping the smirk off his face. This was uncharted territory for any man… He wanted to keep it that way. He looked back to her eyes; her chest was rising and falling fast with the deep breaths she was taking; “Y/N…” He tilted her head so she looked back to him; “You are a Goddess amongst men who would have NO idea what to do with you…” He moved her hands to the opening of his undershirt; “…I am a mere mortal too… But I promise you… I will take care of you like no other man.” She seemed to understand, even if she didn’t seem to quite register it, she undid the few fastenings, and he pulled it over his own head, gathering her to him again, now his skin was against hers it made her burn on contact. He could feel her heart beating in anticipation through his skin and he ran his hands over her; careful where he made contact he leant in and she accepted his kiss. Tentatively, but with encouragement from him she ran her fingers up his arms, his chest; he wasn’t muscular like a warrior, (she’d seen her fair share of shirtless men) but he was lean; he’d been through militaristic style training at the very least. Likely too old to see a battlefield now, he might have seen a few in his time – even if they weren’t out in open warfare. He could hold her tight; and she felt safe. He could protect her, and he made her feel like he would keep all his promises. He began to move her gently towards the bed; one of his hands between them undoing his trousers. She whimpered as he left her lips; “Shhh… Shhh… I promise you, my darling, it will all be okay…” Wil kicked his boots off before lifting her up onto the bed, allowing her to get comfortable before he joined her, pulling her body back into his he kept on kissing her, he ran his hands up and down her body with varying pressure, attempting to test her. This was more than not knowing what she liked; she didn’t even know what she liked yet. He was already getting a good idea from what she was trying to hold back; from him or from herself he wasn’t sure. “Don’t.” He was commanding again “Don’t hold anything back. This is natural, Y/N. I want to make you feel better than you’d think possible to feel. I can only do that if you let me hear you… Darling, it’s okay to let yourself go. There is noone but us here…” The Sheriff got a kick out of how responsive she was to him telling her this – he worked his trousers off with minimal effort and pulled her closer; he wasn’t even sure of the last time he had had this with anyone. He had certainly been a lot younger. Wil showered her with kisses; every inch of her body he could reach he worshiped. She had closed her eyes to him; but the sighs coming of her lips; his name… his real name. He didn’t think he’d ever heard anyone ever say it that way; the way it caught with her accent, with the way her breath was hitching in pleasure. He stopped kissing her for a minute to just look at her, almost in awe… When she opened her eyes again they were hazy. She caught his, a clear point of focus, the blue a few shades darker to match his aura. She became aware of his hot breath against her skin, his fingertips applying gentle pressure as they danced across her ribcage; “Say that again…” She blinked, say what? She didn’t say anything near a coherent sentence; not in English anyway. His face changed, adoration in his eyes as he smiled; “Say my name… say it again… Just like that.” He pressed a kiss to her stomach. Moving his hands over her skin to her thighs; smoother than silk, pale and delicate as the falling snow from where she hailed to juxtapose her long dark hair. She moved her hands over his, to his shoulders and through his hair. Her breath caught again as he continued to kiss lower on her body. She could feel the blush that crept over her face, down her neck and didn’t stop there. Heat was beginning to pool in places she didn’t think possible and she had to close her eyes again, and bite back a groan as his fingers began to trace her inner thighs. She offered resistance to him pushing her legs apart and she twisted under him for just a minute. Wil moved and kissed her face lightly; “I am not going to hurt you… Not intentionally.” He knew that it could likely hurt her, but that would never be his aim. “I promise you, I know what I’m doing…” then he laughed lightly, “Well... I guess you didn’t need me to tell you that…” She nodded, kissing him back – she let it linger just long enough as his hands moved back to her thighs she parted her legs for him. “…You are gorgeous… Y/N… I have never beheld something as beautiful as you…” He whispered it against her skin as he kissed her again and moved back down her body. “I will worship you, as you deserve.” She let out a gasp, and something akin to an electric jolt as if she had been struck by lightning ran through her body causing it to arch. She placed her hand over her mouth in embarrassment but she couldn’t stop herself from groaning again. He chuckled slightly; “That’s my girl… That’s my good girl…” He almost purred it and that wasn’t helping. She sighed as he moved his fingers again to her sweet-spot (not that she would know a hell of a lot about that), but it made her cry out in an entirely different way and she could feel static building like nothing she had ever known. She was responding so well to everything he was doing it made him almost proud of her. He wondered how much of this she had explored for herself. She was as much of a princess as he was. She’d already let him know if she wasn’t fighting with her brothers, she was hanging out with them. Females didn’t often factor into her life aside from her sisters and her mother (and the occasional other shield maiden she’d mention). But he couldn’t imagine a girl like her wasn’t at least curious. Although now wasn’t the time to worry about that. She was sweet, and hot and she was going to feel so good that he almost lost his mind just thinking about it. But she was shy; and he knew she was desperate to hold herself back because she was self-conscious. Not in spite of him… He continued his movements, taking her hand in his free one he laced their fingers and began kissing trails back up her body. Her breaths became laboured and short; her groans pitched in and out and he knew she was too close to the edge for her own liking; given to how hard she was squeezing his hand, and the way her other had tangled in the sheets; her knuckles almost white. He slid his fingers out of her to a whine. It was desperate and wanton, and he had her right where he wanted her as he tasted her. He groaned to himself then, God… She’s just perfect… and she’s all YOURS… Wil kissed her again, rougher; taking her other hand, he pinned them above her head and didn’t let her lips go. He ground his hips into her; making her body arch into his and he swallowed her groans. She sounded so damn desperate for him. She even whined when he stopped kissing her. She wanted all of him, all over her. As much contact as was humanly possible. And all he seemed to be doing was pulling away from her. He forced her hips wider with his legs; and pressed his forehead to hers; “Tell me you trust me.” “I trust you.” She said it without hesitation “Tell me you want this.” “I want you.” He pushed into her gently; hating the way she cried out in pain… grateful he knew it wouldn’t last. He waited on her; he’d wait as long as it would take. Until her eyes were not squeezed shut quite so tight. She opened them and said something in Norse. He tilted his head; questioning. He knew he’d have to learn her language if he ever wanted to know her completely. And he did. She smiled, winding her legs around his to pull him further into her body; slipping her hands out of his she caressed his face, running her fingers back up into his hair and then down his chest; where they rested over his heart – not racing like hers, but calm, steady. A safe place. She repeated it, in English “We are one.”

 **

When she woke she was surprised to find he was still there. The shutters for the windows were still wide open, and they threw the morning sunlight all over the room. Upon closer inspection the bedsheets where white and blue, not grey… but close enough… She rolled herself onto her back for a moment, and let out a breath; no doubt she ached in places she’d never ached before. But she knew it was a good kind of ache… It’d get better; it must get better, that was the only explanation for her large number of siblings… It wasn’t that the night was unpleasant, far from it. It just wasn’t exactly what she had expected. She placed her arms against her forehead; thinking too fantastically would never allow her to live out a fantasy with him if she didn’t let herself go. She was still too scared to… Wil wound his arms around her and pulled her into him, opening his eyes; “You stayed?” “…I would have asked you the same thing… Sir…” “No no no, do not call me Sir here… Not here…” he mumbled, stroking her hair from her face; “Not unless I specifically instruct you to.” What!? She decided right now she’d rather not know; or was she simply too curious…? “Oh… I’m sorry.” He chuckled, “Don’t be sorry either…” He kissed her face, down her neck, into her shoulder. And everything she felt last night threatened to come flooding back, she gasped against the travel of his kisses, his arms were so strong she also couldn’t wriggle out of his grip. Was he going to have last night on repeat?! She could feel the Sheriff smirk against her skin as she struggled; how her grazed his tongue and his teeth over her skin and made her sigh, her sighs turned to groans and she stopped resisting him wrapping her arms around his neck as he continued to kiss her. But his hands never threatened to wander anywhere else. “Alas…” he whispered into her neck “I wish I could stay here all day… Duty calls… It will be Sunday service soon…” Church. Of course. Trust the religion of this country to pull him away from her “…Although…” he thought on it; propping himself up on his elbow, “I would like you to accompany me…” Her hazel eyes held his gaze for a moment; curiously “Me? To a service? To your church?” “…You said you didn’t understand my religion… I concur, I believe you will understand it more than most. And be much more of a believer than half of those already there… So… Will you?” “…I…” she looked away from him for a minute “…If you wish it…” “I wish it only if you wish to come…” “…I would like to.” “…Hmmm…Then it will be an honour to have you there…” He kissed her again; chaste but full of promises on her lips. *** The Sheriff started towards the carriage, almost ecstatic that she would be accompanying him to Church today. William needed that more than she would ever know… And he could show her off to the Church too. HA! You were all wrong all along! But he noticed that she stopped shy of the steps down, he turned, a clearly worried look on his face. He was asking her not to change her mind now – anything but that. After what they had just shared, anything but leaving him here with this feeling. As if I haven’t done to her so many times… She half turned towards the stables “Can we ride?” “Ride?” His eyebrow quirk was inquisitive as he slowly ascended back to her “Yes… Ride. You and I. Side by side, it shouldn’t be too long a trip.” “…You want to ride to the church? Through the streets?” There was a knowing smile on her face, he was worried about what would happen to him. “Am I not charged with protecting you, Sheriff?” “And yet I am worried for your safety.” Her shrug was gentle; “Marcus and I have detailed these streets ourselves. I should be ready to take over from Lucian soon enough.” He took a step back and his mouth pressed into a thin line; he wasn’t sure how he felt about her putting herself in danger like that without his knowledge; “Why didn’t you tell me this?!” “I just did.” Those hazel eyes almost pricked annoyance at his question and he held his tongue from chiding her. He wasn’t about to ruin this. “Besides…” She turned fully, taking his hand gently in hers “Vesper is a gorgeous horse.” His laugh was nearly silent; “He is.” “Then ride him.” She liked that smile, the simplicity of it. Like the Sheriff was reliving every previous riding memory in his head. Like it was just them living in the moment. “Yes…” He bowed his head with the same gentleness of his voice “My Lady, let us ride.”

I'm not surprised Not everything lasts I've broken my heart so many times I've stopped keepin' track. Talk myself in, I talk myself out I get all worked up than I let myself down. I tried so very hard not to lose it I came up with a million excuses I thought I thought of every possibility Oh I might have to wait, I'll never give up I guess it's half timing and the other half's luck Wherever you are, Whenever it's right You'll come out of nowhere and into my life And I know that we can be so amazing And baby your love is gonna change me And now I can see every possibility And somehow I know that it'll all turn out And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out And I promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get I just haven't met you yet And I know that we can be so amazing And being in your life is gonna change me

--- Quick note on his name: I did a fair amount of research when I began writing this. Because she would address him by name. And I wondered if there was a record of what his name should be... Turns out noone really knows. But , Wikipedia seems to have an idea? And also when I looked him up you get this nice piece of information: William de Wendenal (also William de Wendeval) was a Norman baron probably born during the mid-12th century. He was one of the highest officials left in charge of the Kingdom of England when King Richard the Lionheart was away at the Third Crusade to reclaim the Holy Land from the control of Saladin of the Ayyubid dynasty.

And considering our Sheriff and his big “plan” I thought it played perfectly.  Look out for future plot points ;)

--- The journey to England was far longer than she thought it would be. Though, that could be perhaps she was in nervous anticipation. Her father was doing this in order for his kingdom to strengthen. To create bonds and international ties; trade perhaps... Being the eldest daughter, however, she was to be married off to a King. Perhaps. If that’s how the people of England called it. Several of her sisters and brothers were making the trip too, and they clocked in at just under 20 strong. For Norsemen that was a formidable force.

She wasn’t particularly against the idea of arranged marriage. She had expected nothing less, given her upbringing. Still it was strange for her to think about marrying a man she barely knew. What would he have her do? Give everything she loved up? She had to prepare for that scenario. Or would he let her be herself. She wondered many other things about his personality, and his looks. What would he look like? How old would he be? 

She worried sometimes... but, was thankful that she knew her father wouldn’t marry her off to just anyone. He was a valiant warrior who earned the right to his kingdom and held the respect of everyone. He was a good family man too. She thought that a man like he would make an agreeable husband and only hoped her father would think the same. 

*

 The King listened seriously to Eskil’s proposal. He sighed; “It is regrettable for me to give you the news that myself and my sons are unfortunately spoken for. However, I would not lose hope. Your proposal is certainly not one I would have England pass up. You are most welcome here... We have many jurisdictions in our fair country of wide scope. They will not be Kings, as such, but they will run their land in a similar manner. Fine, respectable, men...” He thought on it for a moment. Who, though? He studied her very carefully. He had to make the right choice. To send her to the right part of the country. He couldn’t start this off on the wrong foot... it may end badly for everyone involved. Most Lords were old, ailing, through several wives and strings of children already. 

Eskil had travelled from the North to offer his eldest daughter. To offer trade and a treaty. The King began to narrow his options, the man had to clearly be single... or at least ACT single... for a trade to take place and the fact that the Norse Kingdoms all relied on ships, it would have to have a good water network. Coastal or by river... He titled his head, regarding her. She was young... all her best years ahead of her, she looked like she was what they called a Shield Maiden. Even if she was prepared to give that up, she was likely a free spirit. Which meant she’d need someone with some new age thinking...  Most of the real warriors were at war. So that narrowed his options down even more... hmmm... decisions, decisions... One of his advisors leant in “Your highness... I have a suggestion...” “Please, do...” if he was on the Kings list... “Why not send them to Nottingham.” .... Nottingham!? To William!? The King didn’t quite laugh; that silver-fox known playboy?? A string of 5 or 6 different women every other week? A man not to be tied down... just enough under the thumb of the church? He wasn’t sure sending him a wife for an arranged marriage would stand him in good graces with the Sheriff. However, when he thought about it, the man did fit the bill. He was old-er... but his management of Nottingham has been nothing short of incredible during this war effort. It could certainly be classed as a little new age management...

The King nodded, a fine suggestion. Maybe a woman such as her could finally whip that loose cannon into shape. She could be just what he needed. “There is a man who I can certainly send you to. His name is William de Wendenal. And I would not send you his way if I did not think he would be a good man for your daughter. He resides in Nottingham. It will be a few days ride North from is here in London, but it will be worth the trip. I shall send him a letter right away to inform him of your impending arrival. He is a Sheriff... a little more elected than a King... but he holds a wide jurisdiction none the less and it will be no less impressive. Enjoy the English countryside. And Nottingham itself is a spectacular city.” 

*

 The King has allowed them to stay in London to prepare for their ride North. But she spent the majority of it nervously pacing... William... William... the Sheriff of Nottingham.... she didn’t doubt that the King would keep his word and he would be a fitting match. A good man. But she knew nothing about him other than his name and title... she could only pray that she would like him... though she might have little choice on that... However, whenever she managed to get the King on his free time; he would sit her down and tell her stories about this man in Nottingham. He sounded like a good person, who did plenty of good things. She liked that, even though she hadn’t met him the King was allowing her to get a sense of the man she was likely to now marry. It made her excited to meet him in person, she couldn’t deny she might have feelings based on all these great stories… She hoped against hope that he might live up to them… In the Northern territory that the Sheriff commanded the feeling could not have been any more different. A letter from the King arriving made his heart swell at the honour, until he cracked the seal and read. “ARRANGED MARRIAGE-!? ME---!?” He turned to Tuck; his blue eyes hard “What is this-!? A jest-!?” Tuck gave a shrug “I wouldn’t have through the King would… joke about something like this Sir…” The Sheriff’s sigh was angry “Do we know anything about her!?!” “Besides what is in the letter for you? No. I wasn’t even aware of the content Sir…” His face pulled into an angry frown as his eyes scanned the parchment, hand to his forehead “Oh…” that groan didn’t sound all that pleasing to Tuck either “…She’s from the Nordics… Marrying me off for trade it seems. Well, she better be worth it.” The friar looked heavenward; Please God let it be good trade at least…!! The Sheriffs frown turned inquisitive for a second “Oh-! Her father is a King of a Norse Kingdom… I suppose that makes her a princess…” He pressed the corner of the letter to his lips curiously “…Does that make me… married up?” William threw the letter onto the table and turned back to Tuck; “Well. I suppose we best be getting Nottingham ready for their arrival.” Tuck decided there could be no better time to try a last-ditch effort; “Do you have to accept?” otherwise the Sheriff would be in a foul mood all week until they arrived. And if she wasn’t exactly right he’d be in a bad mood for life. That didn’t seem like something the people of Nottingham would want. Especially in the middle of this War. The Sheriff chuckled, darkly; “It’s from the KING, Tuck. There’s nothing else to say. Of course, I must accept.” ** Her sisters stood together giggling. The general consensus of their whispers was that whoever he was, the Sheriff was likely to be the worst one amongst them. She was determined to ignore that until she knew for sure. But the procession from Nottingham castle almost left her disheartened. And her sisters didn’t help. It got worse the most Lords that appeared. This was awful… This wasn’t what she wanted. Or expected. She should have known to keep her expectations low – hell, maybe her expectations were low and at this point they should have been through the floor. The line was still for a moment and she had a hard time not reaching out for her father to call it off. Her brothers all seemed to be uneasy as it was. None of them were likely to want her married to just anyone… She was glad for a moment that they might fight for this, instead of her. But then the doors opened again, and one last man swept out. Tall, lean, older by his grey – but neat – hair. He looked finely groomed, the type of man who would not tolerate one single thing out of place. He stepped in front of the line. Nope. THAT had to be him. Looking like a badass in a long grey leather trenchcoat. She found herself smiling and her eyes flicked to her sisters; tongues all held and regretting their words. William scanned the girls quickly. It was hard to tell the oldest… He was apparently being given the oldest. Only, he also felt he might get to choose. The King surely couldn’t expect him to marry one he wasn’t interested in. He was surprised the King expected him to marry at all. If this is your idea of reigning me in you have another thing coming… All of the females in front of him had their heads bowed forwards politely. Save for one. Standing slightly away from the others, she was placed with the men of the family. She intrigued him by how she was essentially stepping out of the line of respect. He found himself smiling internally. He liked her.  Askel was unconvinced “Dad he doesn’t even look like a warrior.. I don’t know about this!” She glared across at her brother, jabbing his arm with her elbow, she hissed “Be quiet! Askel!” Askel raised an eyebrow with a smirk “oh! She likes him already?!” Then his face fell, his eyes hard “Y/N! You haven’t even met the guy! You don’t know him!” She remained glaring at him, but Eskil, hearing his children bicker merely chuckled. If she had feelings for him already, it meant the King had probably made a good choice.  The Sheriff nodded politely to the Norse King. Respect was everything at this game. And if he would play it like a game, he would win it. “Eskil, King of the Northern Realms of the Northmen. Or… Southern realms from what I have gathered.” Geographically speaking, Eskil presided over a kingdom in the Southern part of his country. “The honour is mine. My name is William de Wendenal – The Sheriff here in Nottingham…” “Sheriff.” His English was spoken in an accent but was still understandable “We have heard much about you! And I certainly appreciate your willingness to see us.” The Sheriff didn’t think he had much of a choice, but held his tongue with the appropriate smile. “I believe we may have much to discuss…” “Certainly…” His curious blue eyes flicked to the row of girls now peaking at him from under their lashes, and then to the single woman alone. Her inquisitive stare respectful, like she was weighing him up. He thought she could be standing alone because she was not to be selected… Now he felt that she might be the woman he was here for. He asked the question by looking back to Eskil. “Ah-! Sheriff, of course. My daughter… Y/N…” He stepped to the side and held an arm out to bring her forward. Although her step seemed hesitant and shy, he could tell by those eyes that she really wasn’t. William offered her his hand, which she took. Allowing him to kiss the back of her palm; “Y/N…” OH-! To hear him say her name. He had an accent; one that fit with the English words she knew how to speak perfectly. Where every word was pronounced properly and without effort. And the blue eyes he was casting upon her were gorgeous, up close and in the sun like this… She prayed… Harder than maybe she ever had before that he was as good a man as he had been made out to be. “…It is a pleasure to finally make the acquaintance of such a woman as you… This is a great honour you are doing me…” He let her go, all too soon, with a respectful bow of his head and turned back to her father; “Eskil, you make an excellent point. There is much to attend to! Without further ado-! Please… Do step this way…” William took a step backwards, but did not turn his back on the King, his arm outstretched, reaching towards the doors he had just walked from. *** The sheriff considered the proposal carefully. As if he had a choice, he’d already read it whilst scoffing about the letter from the King. Because as if he’d get married...But now it was being spelt out for him. Now this girl... woman, he corrected himself, she’s a woman. ... was standing in front of him he was beginning to scrap all resistance. Marriage still wasn’t his thing. He would hold off from that as long as he was able. Just another way he could stay under the thumb of the church he had no doubt. But courting her...? She was respectfully quiet as her father set the terms.  They were good terms. They also meant that she would not be the only Norseman to stay. Her brother would set both her father and her at ease... and the Sheriff himself on edge. That was the point. Well, William wouldn’t argue with that one. He nodded along gently. “It all seems to be in order...” He stood, drawing himself to height. “I would gladly accept your proposals King Eskil. Nottingham and its rivers will welcome trade of any kind with your kingdom. I will also allow safe passage to continue your travels further into my jurisdiction, toward the farther reaches of the North of England. No trouble for you and your people of course. Adding your son, Askel to the guard of my fair city would give it power and guidance unlike it had seen before. And of course... his priority over Y/N will be respected...”

 His blue eyes flicked to her, this time her head was gently lowered. She was tense. He assumed she understood every word he was saying... if her father spoke English this well he would assume she could too... at least he hoped so. Communication was likely to be important here... The Sheriff took a step away from her father as he turned his attention to her, making her heart jump in her chest. “... As for the marriage proposal... on that I do accept all terms...” now those gorgeous hazel eyes met his. She looked a little fearful. A little hesitant. And the first thing he wanted to let her know is that he would not force this upon her. “... But I would wish to court your daughter first. Get to know her a little...” Her lips parted but whatever she was going to say got lost as she clamped her mouth shut with her lips. He turned back to Eskil “I will marry her. But it will be under the correct conditions.” Eskil gave a curt nod “I accept those terms Sheriff. I believe the King has made an agreeable choice.” He held out his hand, to which William had to smile, “I do my best.” “Yes. As you should.” That was much more a threat than Eskil’s smile gave away and the Sheriff knew it. Lay one finger on her when she didn’t want it and he’d be dead. Dead and likely to bring the wrath of a Norse kingdom raining down on Nottingham City. If not England. 

Kings be damned… 

***

 She watched her family leave. It had been a few days of the Sheriff allowing them to stay, for her to get accustomed to the principles of an English city. Askel had grumbled a lot, but she knew how much he really didn’t mind. This assignment would allow him to step out of their older brothers’ shadows. And he would enjoy it once he got used to it. 

But she had not spent any time alone with the man she was supposed to marry yet. And it made her exceedingly nervous. He was attractive, certainly more so than she could have hoped for, and he spoke with an authority that could be soft when he addressed her. He cared. He wanted to get to know her. He could have had her sitting next to him in silence for the rest of her life, but he didn’t seem like the type. Still, she didn’t know him. Did it matter that he looked so good if he was a monster? She left her window as soon as her family were out of sight. Tears stinging at her eyes. It was painful. She was independent, but it was still painful. Askel was up at her room before she got to the door. She turned; how did he get up here so fast?? “Didn’t you....?” “Wait? I said goodbye. I’m now concerned about you.” “Why.” “I don’t trust him. And I’m your only protection.” “... Well will you let me get to know him?” “Only because if you are to marry him you must...” he shook his head “I can’t believe father agreed to this.” She sighed gently “…I feel I could have done a lot worse.” “He’s not a warrior. By his age he never will be. What is he offering you? In return for all you have to offer him. It really is injustice.” “Askel...!! Right now I don’t know do I? I don’t know him... but you need to give me that CHANCE. Before I do have to marry him.” “Well that’s even worse. What if he decides never to marry you!?” “Well... maybe he won’t.” “I’ll have his head.” “Askel!!!” Her eyes widened and she looked up and down the corridor for those who might be listening, even though they were both speaking Norse. She didn’t want talk like that, she needed to believe this was all going to work. She needed to get to know him; which meant having her brother on side. This had to be successful. For both of them. Maybe he was forgetting that...

Maybe he was also forgetting that there was one of him, and a whole host of Nottingham guards that could take him on... On second thought maybe that Norse overconfidence was a good thing. 

*

She knocked gently at the door to his office. Her brother had been sceptical enough to have followed her here but she forbid him to enter the room. “Come.” It was single worded and harsh. As if he didn’t wish to be interrupted. She took a deep breath and opened the door, closing it behind her with another warning look to her brother. Stay out or else. “Oh. Y/N...!” He rose from his desk, papers almost instantly forgotten “... I apologise I did not expect to see you here so soon... I had thought you would want some time alone...?” The Sheriff crossed to her slowly, his body language open, calm... he remained at a respectful distance constantly. He spoke every word with great care too. Both in the ones he chose and the way he spoke them. She smiled; it was still not done in a way that made it sound like he was belittling her, only to make sure she understood. “Now my family are gone... I felt it necessary for us to spend some time together.” “... Alone?” His eyes flicked uncertainly to the door. She followed his line of sight “My brother is outside... but... I was just thinking... perhaps it would be best alone. I would very much like to get to know you...” He smiled then, “I would like to get to know you too, Y/N... is that the correct way to address you? If it should be something else...” She shook her hand “Y/N is fine...” then immediately took his prompt “...How should I address you.. Sheriff?” He smiled “That is your choice. Sheriff, Sir... William... it will naturally progress to Wil... always spelt with a single L... if you are to write to me. I pray that does not need to happen often...” he wouldn’t like to be far away from her whilst getting to know her, but he may need to deal with something outside of Nottingham from time to time. He thought on it for a moment. It would be much easier to take her with him. Then she would learn of his true reach. The power he controlled, that she would preside over with him. He had no doubt looking at her that this would be no ordinary marriage. William found that thought had him nodding to himself. Ordinary would not be what he was ever after as it was. He may not know about her yet, but he was certain the woman in front of him - looking at him with uncertainty in her eyes (that he would change. With time. He would make sure he was a good choice.) - would put him through his paces. ** She loved talking to him. She couldn’t deny that. How when he had finished attending to his duties, he would walk with her around the corridors of the castle. He liked to see her in sunlight she knew that by the way, depending on the time of day it was, he would look for and subsequently follow the sun. He seemed like a very private man, he showed emotion where appropriate but in all kept his cards close to his chest. He could get angry easily. She’d seen it, but he tried – if she was in the room and he knew she was present – to curb that. But that was all part of the job. And his work was not his private life. To her, he could open up a little. He told her about his family, where he had grown up with his parents in a town just outside of Nottingham. In the country. His father was a Lord of the Manor so, that paved the way for him to become Sheriff, and in his youth he’d moved around until he ended up in Nottingham. Then he had worked diligently to be in office. And here he was, and certainly not intent on giving up. Although, he did add when she questioned him, that he could leave… And he would likely go back to his family’s house if necessary. She told him about growing up in Stavanger – the capital of her father’s Kingdom – based on the sea with the towns spread into the country and she spend a lot of time growing up with her brothers. He loved hearing her talk about her siblings because it was a relationship he’d never got to have. And with one of them here, he hoped to get Askel to warm to him. It wasn’t the easiest thing to do. Clearly her older brother was here to protect her, and was therefore weary of the man that had been chosen. But he wanted to give Askel a good life. To prove himself. He had suggested that he begin training and sparing with the Nottingham guard. And apparently that hadn’t been a bad idea. At least Askel had smiled when she had translated it. On this particular day talk had awkwardly progressed to religion. He’d noticed her staring at the church more than once, and always hoped she wouldn’t ask. Inevitably today as they walked, she paused. Staring up at the structure visible from the courtyard “…What is that?” She asked like she knew it had significance. The Sheriff was hesitant; “OH… It’s…” She caught the movement of his head the shrug of his shoulders and the way he stretched his back. “…It’s a church. I mean, that one is slightly more significant than a lot of the little ones you might see… But… It is… the house of our God.” She raised an eyebrow; “A place of… worship?” “Yes, that’s exactly what it is.” “Oh.” She turned towards it again; “…God, singular. I have heard this notion…” “…Does it bother you?” He wanted to kick himself as soon as he said it. At the same time, he’d made a fair point – The North, from what he knew, had many Gods. To be expected to marry him, she would have to at least accept the idea of just one. The Church wouldn’t have anything less “No... But I would need to learn more…” She turned back to him expectantly and this time he tried his best to stutter through a sentence to no avail; “W-Well I – I – Uh… I Could-” He could not have been saved at a better time by a better man. “SHERIFF!! Sorry-! Sorry-! My apologies-! I just wanted to.. oh-! You have company…!” TUCK! The Sheriff turned on his heels with a genuine smile “Tuck! No! Not at all. Come here. You can help me with this…” The friar couldn’t help his look of surprise; “Oh! Of course-! Sir…!” He hurried down the corridor to them both “How may I assist.” “Tuck, this is Y/N… I have mentioned her a number of times but I believe I have not yet introduced the two of you…” “Oh! The girl from Stavanger! YES!” He took her hand excitedly “It is a pleasure to meet you- Now, forgive me if I get any of this wrong but…” Suddenly it was the Sheriff’s turn to be surprised as Tuck lapsed into Norse. William only recognised it from hearing her talk to her brother – and she was just as shocked as he was. But he watched the way that she lit up, hearing someone else speak her own language. That wasn’t happiness she’d yet shown around him, and he found himself disappointed. Tuck was giving her someone to talk to in her own language that wasn’t her brother, that wasn’t someone she knew. He’d made her happier in 5 seconds than the Sheriff had managed to make her in weeks. She laughed, and responded in kind. The natural way those words rolled off her lips – and she got animated. He wanted to watch this exchange go on all day… He found himself not only smiling but laughing – which turned the two of them back to him, with a pause in conversation. The Sheriff folded his arms “You wouldn’t happen to be able to explain the church in her own language now, Tuck, would you?” “Oh! Is that what you were asking me for Sir? I would certainly be happy to! Of course-!” “What did you want me for?” “Oh-! Sir, yes, Um… Pembroke said it was important. Something to do with the war effort. Though, I wouldn’t want to take you away from Y/N…” “No no…” He waved away the suggestion and turned back to her; “She is in good hands…” He bowed gently “You must forgive me my dear.” She gave a nod back; “I understand… you have work to do.” “I wish I did not.” “Hopefully you can hurry back.” “…Indeed…” He turned back to the friar “Thank you… I pray not to be long!” “Don’t worry, I’ll keep her company, Sir…” With that the Sheriff took off down the corridor – eager to return to the image of her he now couldn’t get out of his head. He paused, before he turned to run through the door, turning back to the two of them. Now lost back in Norse conversation. He smiled to himself; he would have to learn it. He vowed to learn it. It was the very least he could do… *** William had heard the term Shield Maiden mentioned far too many times now to believe that she wasn’t one. She’d even mentioned it herself, but said it wasn’t something they used. Women were warriors just as much as men were, if they wanted to be. Just because she was content to walk around the castle here as if she was a fair maiden – didn’t mean that was who she was. And he was concerned that she might become bored of it. 

“I have a job for you…” “Like a real job?” She sat back in her chair with a quizzical look “Yes. Like a real job.” “Isn’t my place here?” “Well, it could be… But, I want to put your skills to use… And I think you’ll enjoy it.” “My ‘job’ is to be a good woman, is it not?” He chuckled “If your father really sent you over here to get married and have children – nothing more – I have a feeling he sent the wrong daughter.” He waved a roll of parchment at her “I want you to take a look at this. Offer some fresh perspective.” He unfurled it “This is a map of Nottingham. What I would like you to do, if you want to, is head up our Security; our guards and defences. And I happen to think you’re the right person for the job.” She took to the map instantly, but her eyes flicked to his, and it was a tentative look. Was he serious? Her? He presented some more sheets to her; “This is a list of every man currently enrolled. Put them to good work.” “Why are these men not in the War?” She held a small teasing smile on her face that he didn’t miss. “Perhaps they should be – but someone has to defend Nottingham! Keep the peace at home too!” She laughed “Maybe I can free a few up for your effort…” Then looking to the map again she bit her lip “…I’m not forcing someone out of a role… Am I?” “Certainly not. Our Master of Arms has been on the way out for some time – I should think he would welcome this…” ** “So... tell me about her.” Lucien was always one to cut straight to it. “Y/N.. What do you need to know? I believe she will be more than competent at succeeding you…” “Ah-! She is from the North, of course. Formidable! And also female! It will certainly be a change. I am confident, however, that my men will handle it with respect…” “I am a little concerned with your men.” The Sheriff wondered how the majority would react being led by a woman. Even one like her. “They will treat her with respect so long as she does them, I will make sure. But I doubt that you would have seen her in combat.” “I would take a Shield Maiden at nothing less than her word.” “Oh. I do not doubt, Sheriff. Is she commanding?” “I would also suspect. She doesn’t take any nonsense from anyone. Not even her own family. She’s... possibly a little more outspoken than she comes across. She’s... trying to become a proper lady.” “Would you rather she wasn’t?” “Do you know another man in all the kingdoms who has had this privilege? I intend to make her, not break her.” “As long as you wise up to what may break her, Wil.” “Meaning-” Lucien looked at him with slight contempt “This one will not put up with your games for longer than she feels she must. You think a Shield Maiden would give anything of herself to a man who will not even give her his full attention?” Lucien’s words were sharp but true. “Do not. For the love of God, William, let this one return home. Because she will. I have no doubt. It might take her a while, if she has feeling for you at all. But eventually, she will know she is worth more than you think she is.” 

She was standing at the far end of the corridor, sword on her hip and bow across her body. He liked her already. He gave William a significant look – that conversation would come around again before long; the Sheriff knew. “My Lady. I am Lucien. Master of Arms. It is a pleasure to meet a Shield Maiden such as yourself.” She bowed gently “Y/N… Please… And it is an honour for me to meet the man who had served Nottingham for so long.” “Alright- what’s be been telling you!?” Lucien grinned, looking to the Sheriff, whose amused look told him he simply wouldn’t say. “And Nonsense! Honour! These boys deserve the real honour. They are tried and true. They will prove that to you themselves, but I can make you the promise that they will not let you down.” Lucien spent the next few minutes giving her a high level overview of how things in the guard worked. Similar to the information she had gathered from what William had already given her. She nodded along with everything. It was all as she expected it to be; it was nice for it all to be reaffirmed. “Any questions?” “Sir, I would very much like for you to transition me in. It would not feel proper of me to simply take this from you…” “Oh-! Miss.Y/N!” Lucien looked like he hadn’t expected it; she studied the Sheriff’s expression carefully – but it was reading as agreeable. “It would be my pleasure. We’ll have them up to scratch and following you to the letter in no time!” *** She’d been watching him for some time. And Marcus knew. It was starting to make him nervous. He wasn’t sure if it was with disapproval. But he was about the only one she didn’t offer a smile to as she watched.

She. Y/N… That was an interesting choice, but Marcus wasn’t deterred by that. In fact he saw it as refreshing; what would she bring from the Nordics that could help out Nottingham. She was the greatest gift in his book. The King was a fool not to use her in London. And Marcus hoped he’d never found out and pulled her back. However, she looked far less impressed with him than everyone else. She would tsk every so often, she would give a small shake of her head, she would ask Lucien questions and her eyes would flick to him and it made him nervous. This was all he had. There were several reprimanding reasons why Marcus couldn’t join the war effort. If she wasn’t impressed, the new head of Nottingham’s guard and security would surely throw him to the streets.

Apparently today, was such a day. After one final sigh she marched down the row of practicing soldiers to him and dragged him out. She was smaller than him. But her strength was incredible. “What??!” She pointed to the door “Leave.” “What?! Why I!” “Leave. Go, now.” Her English only held a slight accent, but it was almost icy. “But- my lady- I-! Please I-!” “I don’t want you here. Leave. Go.” “Lucien-!” Marcus pleaded. He had nothing. And the master at arms knew this. This was pretty much his life’s work. Even though he was young, what work could Marcus really do after this? “You heard her. Y/N is in charge now...” he didn’t even seem sympathetic. “But Sir...” She flicked her head again, and this time he obliged… one step at a time; “Where do I go...?” “The Sheriff’s office would be a good start. Marcus.” Lucien looked grave and Marcus suddenly felt cold - no! No, no, no! That was a guarantee to be banished from Nottingham and its surrounding counties. Not good enough for the guard. Not good enough for anything. The shield maiden looked across to Lucien and they both shared a look that Marcus could explain. Before she stepped towards him again and took his arm in her vice like grip. Geez! She was so strong!

The next thing he knew he was being literally dragged to the Sheriff’s office. “Wait here.” She pushed him to the wall and knocked; upon the Sheriff’s beckon she stepped inside. Marcus thought about stepping over and pressing his ear to the door. But he knew the wood was thick and it would look even worse if he was caught. He didn’t know how long he was standing outside anxious and alone with thoughts he didn’t like chasing themselves around his head. Long enough for training to clearly be over as Lucien appeared, refusing to acknowledge him as he stepped into the Sheriff’s office too. That was final then. Marcus’ life was almost guaranteed over. Eventually the door opened and Marcus was faced with Lucien again. “Sir I-” “Come in, Marcus.” He swallowed hard and entered. The Sheriff was sitting behind a desk fingers laced together pressed against his lips. She was standing just in front of it; arms folded. That same unreadable expression. Marcus turned to the Sheriff expectantly. Who shifted; “Marcus. Tell me how long you have been part of the guard here?” His eyes flicked between the three of them; no such luck. None was giving an inch “... since my late teens I suppose, Sir... over 15 years. But, I suppose as a real useful contributor, around 7 or 8.” He seemed to be trying to implore her, he hoped it was working. “And tell me why exactly you were not drafted?” Marcus found this an odd question for the Sheriff to ask. He would know, he was in charge of drafting. A good number of the guard had been drafted. But, Marcus had a reckless streak. Sometimes what he had to do came before what he was told to do. “I believe I was told I was too unruly for war... Sir.”

Then she smiled, it was small, bordering a smirk; and she turned to her lover with a raised eyebrow.. He nodded in confirmation and she turned back to Marcus with a renewed smile this time genuine, friendly; “Marcus. I have a proposition for you.” “A... proposition...? I’m... you’re not kicking me out?!” He couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice or the relief off his face “Told you he’s think that.” Lucien couldn’t help his chuckle. She unfolded her arms “No. The fact that you did not complain, get wound up, or protest even once despite me doing what I was doing further cements it. When I take control of security I’m going to need a right hand man. Someone I can trust.... I think I can trust you. You come highly recommended. You sound like the kind of man I need... I only hope that you will accept my offer?” “—! Me!? Your...” Marcus shut his mouth in order to compose himself “My lady I would be... honoured. To accept.” He gave a firm nod “I will not let you down.” “And he means it.” Lucien nodded to her “He’s a good choice.” She gave her own nod and walked forward. “Marcus. You do not have to address me so formally, please, Y/N is enough.” She held her hand out, and he knew immediately it was to shake, not kiss “...Y/N.” He shook it firmly with a smile, to which the Sheriff laughed. “This is going to be a great partnership.” She turned to him with a smile “Sir. We will endeavour to ensure your city is safe.” “Oh.” He leant back, and despite the other people in the room, gave a smirk meant only for her “That you will.”

--- GIF CREDITS: @dennismitchell & @benmendo 😘

I walked the line Until the line was just a blur And love was out of reach, And faith was just a word

Oh, I've been searching, I've been praying I've been hurt, and I've been patient I've been lost and found again Waiting for my Amen Looking at you now I believe Someone up there is looking out for me And I know how my prayer ends Baby, you're my Amen

---

It was the following morning when he got the inevitable call to explain himself to the Cardinal and the church. She wasn’t having it. “You’re not going.” “And what am I to do instead?” “Stay here where you’re safe. I’ll go.” She knew if she let him go to the Church they would likely strip him of office. Maybe they’d even try to finish what Robin started. The church can make or break a man… “You most certainly will NOT.” “I’ll take Marcus… Alden… My brother… Are they honestly going to try to harm two Norsemen?!” “…Take Guy and I’ll consider it.” She folded her arms and sighed; “Fine.” He seemed surprised, because he thought that was about the only thing she would never agree to, “But you stay here until I get back.” He opened his mouth, but the look in those hazel eyes of hers daring him to say something smart made him close it again. Maybe just this once he wouldn’t keep her here… “Tell me that sword is just for show?” “They wish.” “Y/N…” Even her brother was looking to rebuke her today “Askel – if I need it so be it.” “In a Church no less…” He looked towards the towering structure in the distance “Amen…”  His mocking sarcasm was telling. She had accepted the Church because she had to. Her brother most of the time refused to set foot in it. And he wasn’t particularly happy that she seemed to forsake their Gods for this one… She was caught between two worlds, but she made sure to keep balance between the two. Askel wasn’t the only one who thought it was nonsense to do both. Marcus and Alden, about the only English men beyond her own man she trusted, stood a little way off. Listening, but understanding nothing. Only Tuck and the Sheriff had ever bothered to learn it; Tuck as a man of many talents and her lover because he wanted something that would be theirs – and seen as there was only one of them left… “How is he?” Marcus and Alden flanked her as they walked. Askel a few steps behind; he didn’t trust Guy either – which put Guy a few paces behind him. She rolled her eyes “He’s… Him.” They were both eyeing her sword; obviously as worried as her brother that she’d be drawing it. In truth, she also wanted to feel safe, like she wasn’t the defenceless pregnant woman she FELT she was right now. Her comment only made Marcus smile; he was used to every gripe she had with England, with Nottingham, with the Sheriff. He was her second in command, but also her best friend. Over these past 8 months, however, the complaints had only become more intense and to him, more hilarious. She used to do this daily; patrolling the streets of Nottingham with him, or with Eyhamel – her war horse. But for at least 7 of the 8 months there was a distinct radius she was allowed to walk in and never unguarded, and certainly, never in charge of security. She was itching to get back to it, of course, which is why she was about to walk into this. “Where is the Sheriff?” It was the archdeacon the five of them came face to face with, rather than the Cardinal. She kept her left hand on the hilt of her sword and it was clear the presence of both her and her brother made the man uneasy. “I believe after yesterday his absence is understandable.” “He was summoned here.” “And I am here in his place…” She was always defiant. And she was daring them to take Nottingham away from him now “…But I’m happy to deliver the message.” “With all due respect. My Lady, the message is for him. Not for you.” My Lady… God that even grated with her now – it was just the way he said it! She had the distinct feeling they weren’t particularly pleased with having to speak to her as a woman, either. “With respect.” Though she had very little for him, “The Sheriff almost lost his life yesterday in this very building. So let me get one thing straight here. You can tell ME what you have to tell HIM and I will endeavour to relay the information…” She took a step forward and out of line; “Or, why don’t I just tell you what you’re going to tell me… You’re going to tell me all the effort he’s made over the past few years on this War is not all for naught because of the work of a thief. That the people of Nottingham, after this chaos, need a strong leader. Because he is one. They need consistency and stability… Lose him, you lose me… For you that could be a good thing, but of him and I who has more favour with the people in your mines? You want them to keep the faith, excellent. Have someone tell them to keep it. Who would you put in his place anyway? And with this…?” She indicated to herself “Losing him is no good for anyone until we know what this is…” She took another step, with a smile “So I put this to you, Archdeacon. You do your job. I’ll do mine. And the Sheriff will do his. And at the end of the day we’ll all be better off.” His eyes flicked from her to the men around her, none of whom looked in disagreement because they all know she had a fair point. She was a woman of two countries and two faiths. And she was confident in where she stood with both. She was difficult to manipulate. There was no fear the Church could put into her, asides the fear they could put into him, which of course was why he wasn’t here. More than that; she hated them for everything they had ever done to him. And her brother – not even one to attempt converting – a true Norse warrior and surely not someone to mess with. The other three… Well, at least two of them would follow her orders to a fault. Even with all the Church’s power; with her the Archdeacon knew he had to tread carefully. The Church had no power here, even though they were standing in one. “…It’s all well and good saying this. Y/N. But what of the war?” She gave a shrug “I’ve never much cared for your war. That will be for your Cardinal to decide.” The step she took this time was backwards; making her 4 companions turn – even Guy knew her well enough to read every signal of her voice; “…I suggest you make the correct decision… Besides I don't think even you want the consequences of removing him from office... It could be more than just the Arabs he'll be warning the people about... We all know the stories of Ragnar..." "Was that a threat?" She turned from him with a smile, "It’s a promise..." And it was. Her father would as like march on Nottingham and the Church if someone so much as touched her. That's what Askel was for. And Norsemen didn't often show mercy. *** “...Can you do a ride of the perimeter ... anything unusual or out of place or-” “Yes...! It’s going to be fine... Robin hasn’t been here since the-” “I know, will you just do it!!” She was painfully aware of the ticking clock that was her pregnancy. And she was paranoid. Marcus couldn’t count the number of times she’d had him walk or ride various parts of Nottingham for any potential weak points Robin and co could take advantage of. “Marcus...” He turned at the sound of the Sheriffs call, walking briskly down the hallway toward them. “It’s okay. You may leave us.” “Yes sir...” But she pulled his arm back “Marcus please!” “It will be done. My Lady.” He gave her a confident nod and bid then both farewell.  The Sheriff watched him leave before he spoke.

“What are you doing?!” His blue eyes studied her carefully... he noticed she didn’t look at him; “I’m scared!! I’m panicking that he might-” Of course this was about Robin. But he didn’t sigh. He didn’t roll his eyes. He didn’t look anything less than understanding. Gathering her in his arms as best he could he ran his fingertips into her hair, kissing her forehead and hairline; “Shhh! Shhh! Not another word!” Well, he either wanted to know or he didn’t “Stop this... Y/N stop this...” “I’m just being prepared!” “You, of anyone in this Goddamn city, should be preparing for something far greater than our defences...” He whispered it gently against her skin. The way he chose to hold her now was protective. But he still moved his hand to rest on her bump “I need you to stop thinking about this... And start thinking about our child...” She wasn’t sure why he would think that she wasn’t doing this FOR their child. She let out a sigh of her own and wound her arms around him, burying her head in the safety of his chest allowing him to rub her back gently. “That’s my girl...” It was weird for him to say that phrase like that. Here. In this context. It sent a delightful shiver down her spine. Which made him chuckle, but say nothing more. He kissed her hair again. “We have mere days... barely weeks....” He watched the way the sunbeams danced in the courtyard, it was serene... His eyes flicked to the sky... In times like this he actually believed in God. He didn’t need a church for that - Hell, he didn’t want a church for that... “Everything is going to be fine... I promise you...” It was convincing. It was what she needed to hear. It was what he needed to say. How could he become so disillusioned with the church? After all hasn’t God given him this? By miracle or grand design... He realised quickly that yes, God may have...but the Church had not...

  ***

Weeks had passed since Robin had taken half of the poorer populous with him to God knows where… She was getting antsy towards the end of her pregnancy AND that she couldn’t be out there right now patrolling Nottingham or looking for Robin… All she wanted was to know he wasn’t going to come around here again in a hurry. She now found herself almost permanently stuck to the Sheriff; half in worry that something would happen and she wouldn’t be around. And she wouldn’t admit it to him, but she’d been having bad nightmares about the happenings in that church and she daren’t tell anyone else about it. Besides, what exactly could she tell the doctor? ‘I know you told me not to stress! But my subconscious thinks it’s a good idea to share that trauma with me every night!!’ Nope.

Today was Sunday, a Holy day, and that meant Church. She wondered if it would involve any more War donations… She had noted that since Robin had left talk of the war effort had fallen fairly silent. There was something going on in that brain of his, she could tell, but he wasn’t confiding it in her just yet… She wasn’t too worried – she’d be the first to know.   There was a knock at her chambers as her handmaidens helped her to dress. If there was one thing she would curse about bringing another life into the world, it was the awkwardness of having to do even the most mundane of tasks with a bump. Even holding her lover close to her was proving most difficult these days. And as if to speak of the Devil he nudged the door open slightly; “Apologies ladies… I must interrupt…” He only half stepped into the room; clearly all ready to set off; “…Y/N, my darling, they have called me early. I’m afraid I must away… Will you be alright…?” She looked down at herself and the girls, who seemed almost finished; she didn’t like the idea, but she could imagine the Lords all attempting to drag him off for the best part of the morning before he actually caved… She nodded, “I shall not be too far behind…” “Okay…” His voice was quiet and she wasn’t too sure that was even the answer he wanted to hear. “Ok…” He repeated it, and with one look back into her eyes, he took his leave. She huffed slightly as Hal held out his hand to help her get into the carriage… Why all this was necessary she didn’t know! They were treating her, her!, Norse Princess and Shield Maiden, as fragile as glass. She knew she was pregnant but this was ridiculous. Still, she thanked him as she sat – today was a glorious day, the sun shone in a bright blue, cloudless sky and bathed everything in glorious golden light. Its warmth caressed her face and she smiled. Sure, she might have to spend the rest of the morning in a gloomy church (although… the sun through the pretty stained glass today would likely look spectacular) but once they left, she would get to see him in glorious sunshine; the way it would hit his blue eyes and turn his hair a multitude of grey shades and maybe he’d relieve himself of his jacket and… She bit her lip just thinking about it and damned her racing hormones. The carriage set off towards the church and her mind wandered, wondering what the subject of today’s preachy sermon would be… And how long they could possibly drag it on… She wondered if they would once again mention Robin… Because he was a subject all to himself these days… Not that she was SUPPOSED to think about him…  A sudden sharp pain shot through her lower body that made her wince and cry out… what in the hell was-!? She cried again, holding her stomach as it happened again… Oh Gods… NO. She had to take a sudden sharp intake of breath, twice, in-out-in-out… She looked down to her dress, patches now considerably darker in colour… Please no… Cradling her bump, the next shot of pain almost had her in tears; but the liquid wasn’t blood… it was clear… And that left her almost more horrified. She wasn’t going to lose it… But he wasn’t HERE!!! “STOP!!!” She screamed as loud as she could, pounding one hand against the side of the carriage “STOP!!! STOP THE COACH!!!” Just hold on… hold on!!

The carriage slowed to a stop, and the door opened; “My lady, what is wrong…!?” She was almost bent double over the seat, her breathing ragged “…The baby…!!” She took another deep breath “The baby is coming…!” For the two men standing outside time almost froze, then they almost fell over each other flagging down the following coach. She squeezed her eyes shut and cradled her bump again trying her best not to begin sobbing in the midst of the commotion suddenly happening around her

“-turn the coach around!!” “—What do we tell---” “Someone has to go to the church and TELL HIM!!---” “—She can’t deliver here you---!” Marcus, ever her saviour, jumped up onto his horse “I’m heading to the church, take her back to the castle – and God Speed!” With that he was away, galloping as fast as the horse would take him. Another of the guards jumped on a second horse “I will go on ahead and warn the doctor!” The coach master was gathering the reigns back as two of her hand maidens Ada & Caralyn climbed in with her; as the coach began to move she grabbed Ada’s hand in panic “WAIT--- WHAT Ab- AH!” “They will bring the Sheriff as fast as they can M’lady… But we have to get you to a safe place and NOW!” Ada squeezed her hand tighter in a form of comfort “He will be there…” By the time they had made it back to the castle she could barely walk, and her contractions were getting worse, her security team practically had to carry her to her bedroom. All the while she was protesting; even though the doctor and his aides and her hand maidens had done their best to prepare for her; There was only one thing on her mind, still. “Where is he?!” “They can only get him here so fast… and on a Sunday…” She was still complaining as they laid her down; “You need to breathe… calm down and breathe…” “I CAN’T do this without him!!” She panicked, and Ada rushed to comfort her; the doctor and his team were firm; “Y/N, panicking will not help your baby… And you CAN!” The next shot of pain nearly took her breath; this was really going to happen – wasn’t it? She was trying to concentrate hard on what she was feeling to fight through the pain and listen… When she’d been old enough and curious enough to ask, her mother had simply replied that she would know, as she had to do was listen to her body… All around her she could hear medical nonsense and babble she didn’t understand and she wanted to yell at them all to be quiet; but she knew why they were stressed themselves, women died in childbirth… And it was sure the Sheriff would damn them all to hell or worse if anything happened to her here. Especially as he’d spend the best part of 8 months making contingency plans for this exact moment. It didn’t matter how many times the doctor told him he would have it covered. She was suddenly brought to another level of pain; and she felt the tears begin to run; this was ridiculous, she was stronger than this!! Women did this all the time!! But she already knew why, she was scared to do this without him and her body was caught between trying to hold it off and the fact that it was TIME to do this… “…Wil….!”

He was aware that by now he was probably late for the start of the service, several of the Lords were standing by the doors trying to usher him in, but he wouldn’t move until she got here. And he was becoming concerned that she wasn’t here yet. She knew the importance of punctuality, and he knew he had been early… What had happened?! He knew, idiotically, that he should never have left her alone. The sudden sound of hooves approaching at pace picked up his hopes, until it turned out to be a single rider – her right-hand man, Marcus. “WHAT?!?! WHAT THE HELL-” “SIR!” Marcus was slightly out of breath, mirrored by his horses panting “We have NO time! You must come with me!!” “WHY!?!” He was taken aback that the man would even interrupt him; “The baby is coming! Y/N has been taken back to the castle!” His eyes widened, horrified, NOW!? NOW!? She was going to have his child NOW!?! DAMMIT! Marcus grabbed his arm and helped him mount the back of the horse; turning it expertly on a dime – but not before the Lords all rushed forward; “Sheriff! What has happened!?” “You can’t leave church like this!?” “SIRS. My wife is about to have my first Child.” His snappy angry tone made Marcus inwardly smirk as he prepared to urge the horse back into a gallop “If being there rather than here is a sin, I shall repent later!” Marcus took that as a signal to go, and kicked the horse back into action, “…I didn’t realise you and Y/N were married, Sir?” The Sheriff at least laughed at that “What, you want me to give a full explanation of our relationship!?   She is about to bare me a child Marcus! I don’t have time to lecture them!” “Well, if I may speak freely, I think it’s fine for you to lecture them a little, Sir!”

*

She certainly wasn’t making things easy on herself; she was going against every piece of advice she’d ever been given by every woman in her life and she was trying to resist what her body was telling her. For as long as she could… Come on Marcus! How long does it take!? Gods PLEASE! She knew it would be painful, but THIS painful..?! Eventually, when all the commotion around her stopped and the doctor and nurses settled into position, she knew everyone was waiting on her, and she could not hold off on what her body was asking from her any more, Ada clasped her hand tightly, and she took one gulp of air before she began pushing…

In the courtyard below there seemed to be more commotion. A lot of yelling back and forth and running footsteps, doors being thrown open so hard they hit walls, frames and all manner of other architecture… Then there was running down the stone corridor. All she was hearing beside the focus on herself was the doctor trying to help her time; and then the last set of doors were thrown wide, all but a few turned. The Sheriff didn’t stop there, running the skirting of their room to be beside her Ada left her hand in his strong, firm, confident grip. She almost cried again but in relief… he was here… he’d made it all the way back here… Marcus slowed his run to a jog, and then to give them privacy began to close the door.

“I’m here… Y/N… I’m here… Darling…” His voice faded in and out of focus but the strength of his hands around hers was all she needed, it was still painful, and he did his very best to soothe her, stroking her back… kissing her hand and whispering encouraging phrases that she couldn’t really hear but she knew where well meant… and then… Crying. And not from her. The room fell completely silent apart from the cries of an infant…

There was a collective sigh of relief as the breath everyone was holding relaxed… She couldn’t help but look to her lover and smile, and he looked back with nothing but admiration… The Nurses collected together blankets quickly… And the doctor cleared his throat in order to break the look they were giving each other. “Sir… Would you…” She let him take his hand back gently, his discussion was brief, and as if he had simultaneously lost the strength to stand the Sheriff fell almost weakly into the chair beside her. He clasped her hand back in his and sank his head onto the bedsheets; he very nearly cried with relief as her fingers gently tousled his hair; “You did so well… My darling… so well…” His murmur was as much relief as it was praise. He only raised his head as the doctor approached again, carrying with him their child; “Sir… My Lady… God has graced you with a Son…” She knew immediately that was it – the look needn’t even have crossed the Sheriff’s face as he turned to her; a son to carry on both his bloodline and his name. Heir to Nottingham, with a fair claim on her father’s Kingdom too. He turned to her, with a confident smile, “Y/N…” He took a breath like he didn’t know what to say “You have blessed me with a son…?” Then he laughed “…I think that makes it only fair that his name is yours to give…” She hadn’t been expecting it, but for a child of two words it would only be tradition to call him after his father – and hers. “Eske…” Would he be okay with that? “I would like to call him Eske…” “Eske…” He repeated, testing it for himself… before he laced his fingers with hers and kissed her, it was gentle and sweet “…Eske it is.”

 *Eske, for Eskil. Her father, as you will discover when I do my (backwards) timeskips! I.E. In the next part!

I'm a bad man James Dean, kinda Steve McQueen Straight out the bad lands I rolled in and rained down Like a storm cloud or a heat wave That make you stay undercover where it's safe Don't give a damn about the plans you made We're staying in the bed all day 'Cause I'm selfish Restless like a river, can't help it I'm taking what you give me but I still want more I still want more 'Cause I'm selfish Yeah I'm selfish, I'm selfish for you His voice choked against the thick rope binding his neck, his hands grasping for relief... She was frozen in place at what she was seeing, normally she would have jumped to action before either of the other men had the chance to react but the baby…

“I am the sheriff of Nottingham!” He managed, pushed up against the iron incense casing. Robin pulled his bow taut and she realised that as soon as he released, the counterweight would do the dirty work for them. She had barely less than a second to save his life – luckily for her, he wasn’t the only one who had taken to hiding a blade up their sleeve. Robin loosed his arrow as her judged throw sent the silver blade spinning through the air, both connected with their intended target milliseconds apart. She was impressed, that throw was surprisingly accurate for 8 months out of a job…

The blade narrowly missed Robin’s left ear and he flinched slightly as it flew past and clattered on the other side of the church, both him and his companion turned towards the sound; “What the HELL!?” They both tensed into fighting positions as they attempted to scour the gloom. The sheriff wasn’t going anywhere, now on his hands and knees and still choking in an attempt to free himself and breathe again… No matter, they could still finish the job right here. Robin took one step forward and –

“Y/N!?” He took one back; seemingly from nowhere the woman he had seen so often with the Sheriff, though had hardly gotten the chance to speak to, had now positioned herself between him, John and the Sheriff. For a second he was taken aback – surely she hadn’t just freed him? But if not her then whom? He shook the look from his face; “Y/N stand aside.” She shook her head “You want him you go through me.” Her stance, he noticed, would have made it awkward for him to even get a good shot off with his arrow and he had to think twice about trying to go through her. Ordinarily he might try it, aside from the look she was giving him and the fact that she was also heavily pregnant. That she would throw herself in front of him like this was almost suicide. John however was quick to take her up on her offer; “THEN WE WILL!” “NO!!!” Robin has a job to hold him back; “NO! JOHN!!! STOP!!! THIS ISN’T YOU!!!” She didn’t want to take the step back that everything within her was telling her to take and Robin tried desperately to hold his bigger companion – now known as John – back “I can’t let you kill both a woman and her unborn child!!” “AFTER WHAT HIS WAR DID TO MY SON---!!” She felt a tension in the pit of her stomach that she didn’t like, maybe John would really do it… “IF you kill her and that baby you are NO BETTER THAN HE IS!” John halted his struggles against Robin, still staring murder at her. He shrugged the smaller man off, clearly far from happy. But, she supposed, content not to be framed in the same picture as the Sheriff… Robin, to make sure he had control of the situation planted himself between John and her; “Y/N, just think for a second about this… about everything he’s done… about what he’s been planning with the Cardinal against the KING!!! You can’t honestly expect me to drop that!? He deserves everything that is coming his way!!! You’re essentially delaying the inevitable!! You must have been standing here long enough to have heard EVERYTHING--!! What do you think the King will do to him when I--” There was a sharp crack; and suddenly Robin was rendered speechless as his head snapped to the left. His cheek now stung, and with the added pain from the metal of her rings, the hard slap she had dealt him he would probably be feeling for a few days. 

He looked back to her icy stare, cold as the Nordics she hailed from; “How DARE you.” Robin touched his cheek as it began to smart “Why he told you is of any wonder to me and is nothing but his fault. But to threaten that?! ROBIN! He trusted you enough to tell you something he tells no-one and you taunt him with it here?! Do you have no ounce of shame for what you have just done!?” She took a step that made him take one back; “YES. I know everything, I knew before I walked into this room, but what do you know of anything Robin? For five years you’ve been a part of this war… and the King…?” she shook her head, with a bitter smile that told him she’d already said enough. There were some things Robin didn’t know, and she was content to keep that information at bay, for now. She was decisive in her words; “Leave.”

“What…?” “I said LEAVE.” She pointed to the door; “GO. NOW. And for your sake I better not see you any time soon…” “You’re letting me leave with what I know…?” “With the confidence that if it goes anywhere else I know where it came from…” Robin wasn’t sure if that was meant to be a threat or not… The best that Nottingham seemed to be able to do was Guy of Gisborne and his troupe, and even they had been fairly unsuccessful at stopping him. But her look, was at least a warning. They could both hear the sound of further guards approaching, and weren’t sure if they weren’t better heeding her advice to leave. “I won’t let this go.” Robin shook his head “You’re making a mistake!” He backed away from her, his eyes showing his clear disappointment   “Well then it won’t be my first…” Her look was still hard and John was still staring at her like she was next on his hit list; “This isn’t over.” With that both of them hastily made for the exit. As their footsteps began to fade she took a deep breath in… out… She placed her hands on her stomach… The tension beginning to unwind would not be good for her baby… she knew. She had just bet her and its life on the line for the Sheriff and she had barely gotten away with it. As if he was worth more than the two of them combined… She took another breath and turned around. He was still on his hands and knees, almost breathing as heavily as her – he had managed to relieve himself of the rope at least, but there was now a raw looking ligature mark around his neck. She prayed that wouldn’t stay permanent. She knelt beside him, placing her hands delicately on his shoulders she touched her forehead to his, his ice blue eyes locked with hers; “Thank God you’re alive…” Her right hand brushed his cheek, he had a few bad cuts and goodness knows what John’s punch had done to the rest of his head… “Me..!?” His voice was raspy, still faint “You---! You just…!” He felt into another coughing fit, bowing his head forward… The sound of metal on the stone flooring announced the (late) arrival of the reinforcements. “M’am! Sheriff! Are you alright!?” She rolled her eyes at the stupidity of the question and turned to them, “NO! Of course not! Where were you ten minutes ago!?” The lead man opened his mouth to answer her question, but she snapped at him instead “It doesn’t matter! Get a doctor and be quick about it!!! GO! Now!” A few rushed off on her order, whilst the rest went to inspect the rest of the church and the thrown open doors. Once he had recovered, she placed her forehead back against his; “—You just bet your life… you risked the life of our child on—s-saving me!!!” The tone of his voice let her know that he thought it was ridiculous and ridiculously dangerous; “D-Don’t EVER-” his voice strained again, and he placed his hands on her knees; she hushed him; “Don’t strain yourself right now… We’re okay… we’re both okay…” she caught him in a gentle embrace, being sure to hold him close enough to feel safe but loose enough to let him continue to regain his breath. For the we she was referring to, she wasn’t sure…. Her and him? That was true, but his direct line of questioning would immediately be the safety of her and their baby. He’d grounded her the second she’d told him and chided her that she hadn’t said so sooner for all the things he’d let her do. She knew this would be his immediate reaction of course, which is why she had held off telling him. She was as much surprised that he actually let her out of the castle at all but figured that he had liked her on his arm before, he probably liked it even more now. As if to chide her for her stupidity also their child stirred within her. He obviously felt it too, as his hand moved to her bump, but this only made the movement worse developing into a kick that made her catch her breath and place her hand over his. She guessed it could have been worse, considering how stressed she felt; she had just watched someone try to take his life and then stood up to them when they attempted again. She should be dead. They should both be dead. Surely without the baby Robin would have at the very least man-handled her out of the way… However, without the baby she wouldn’t have let her lover get into this position in the first place… He let out a chuckle at the kick – she knew that he was proud of it now when it was just a bump. How he would run his hands lovingly over it whenever he got the chance. She wondered how he would be when the ‘it’ became a he or a she… The doctor arrived faster than she expected, and she helped him to stand the Sheriff back on his feet. Following them both back to the doctors room once he had inspected that it would be safe for him to transport the both of them back. This time flanked by armed guards. A little late, she thought, considering.

*

The Doctor busied himself with cleaning cuts and bruises “Well… I’m sure you knew this. But you’ll be fine. Careful that no concussion sets in, I’m sure Y/N will watch out for you though. That mark around your neck is already fading Sheriff… You’re in better shape than the city though I might add…! Although, considering the situation I possibly shouldn’t…” “The situation?! I was almost assassinated!” “…Forgive me I didn’t-” The Sheriff waved away his apology, and indicated to her, seated on the other side of the examination room; “And her?” The doctor turned, concerned, as if he had missed something, and he would of course dread missing something if the Sheriff’s other half wasn’t pregnant let alone now. “I’m fine.” She was quick to wave off the doctors panic “…Neither of them touched me…” She’d appease the look both of them were giving her; “…I guess I got a bit tense, scared and upset… Probably not a great combination being 8 months pregnant…” the doctor nodded, “Stress is certainly not good for you, and I understand with recent events you may well have been put under a lot of it… It would be best for me to check up…” She nodded politely; “Of course.”  He turned quickly back to the Sheriff, who seemed satisfied with her agreement “You are clear to go, Sir, I suppose the city will be needing you…” His jaw tightened slightly, but again he let it go… crossing the room to her, he placed a hand gently on her arm “…Come straight to me.” And then to the doctor “and I want a full report on her health.” She resisted the eyeroll and sigh she was feeling, the doctor nodded “It will be done, Sir.” He turned again, bowing his head gently to her, before walking from the room.

“So much for just having a near death experience…” She folded her hands into her lap “…He’s going to go out there and yell at a few people to calm down now I suppose…” She looked slowly up at the doctor “Honestly, I’m fine. And you needn’t tell him I’m anything less. He’s already pinned me down in the castle, better not make it our bedroom too.” “Be that as it may, you only have one month or so to go Y/N, and I would appreciate if you took the upmost care of yourself until then…” “What was I supposed to do!? Watch him die!?” He put his hands up to get her to calm down; “Getting angry after the event is not going to help either… But he’s probably already made that point…” “That there is one of him… And I count as two? Perhaps… But you think I would be any better off with him dead?” “No, far worse…” He sat beside her “Still you must permit me to at least check things are fine…” “Go ahead…” “And you must promise both me and him that you will not put yourself under any un-necessary stress during the next four weeks.” “Yes. I promise.” She knew the way she thought though…. And thought that her poor baby was in for a rougher time of it than she could possibly promise anyone.

 ** “What are you thinking?” His calm voice cut through the darkness and cool night air and most importantly, her thoughts. How he knew she was awake was beyond her. She had no idea what time it was or how long she’d been lying here wide awake… but it had probably been hours. “Why are you still awake?” She heard his frustrated sigh at being posed a question and not an answer. “It’s not exactly been an easy day.” “Then you know what I’m thinking.” They were lying back to back, obviously both preoccupied with their own thoughts. She heard him shuffling around as he rolled over and propped himself up, through the pale moonlight she could just about make out his silhouette above her as he ran his hands through her long dark hair; “Tell me anyway…” She didn’t look up at him… only straight ahead “…You think I would rather be lying here without you?” There was an annoyance to her voice she didn’t mean, but she couldn’t keep out. “No. Do you think I would want the same? Y/N, darling, if that didn’t work it’s not only you I would lose…!” “Robin doesn’t have it in him!  All I care about is if I didn’t step in you’d be dead. And if I wasn’t there….Well I…” She trailed off; “If it was just Robin…” “I’m still angry at him.” She shook her head “He never should have said that.” “I’m not entirely blameless…” He did his best to hush her with a tone of voice that made her shiver “What happens now…” “Well… We can step up security… As we should. Robin and his band of outlaws aren’t likely to come back SO soon… The priority will be to get Nottingham back in running order after the stunts they pulled today.” “Your security will be useless for at least another month!” she joked against his calming tone; “Longer if I have anything to say about it.” “Oh come on! Guy of Gisborne is doing you no favours…!” “He’s the best I have… And a damn sight better than anyone else.” “Yeah well. Whose fault is that?” “I would not change our baby for anything.” “I think after today I know that…” “Y/N…” “I need you. I’m here because of you. If anything like that ever happens again I would do the same.” “I know. You’re reckless.” “I think that’s what made you fall in love.” “Oh yeah?” “Mm hmm…” She giggled lightly as he brushed his lips against her cheek “…I would like to see any of your other women do what I just did…” “Y/N there are no other women…” “For now.” He sighed again “I won’t argue with you on this one…” “And the King?” she changed the subject, and he hesitated with his next kiss; “What?” “What Robin said is true… So… Is it likely he’ll go through with trying to tell the King… Or…” she shook her head again and turned to him “…If I have to go through all that again…” “Robin, the outlaw, would surely not.” “This war needs to stop.” “I had the solution!” She pursed her lips “…Not a good one.” “If it had worked out…” “Stop thinking like that…” She took his hand in hers; “…King? You? Now? With a baby? Are you ready for this…” He brought his hand to her stomach, “WE are ready for this…”