#7f03

Alright! It's time to start summarizing episodes of Season Two! The reason this season started with a Bart-centric episode was because Bart was the star of the show at the time. The original premiere was going to be “Two Cars in Every Garage, and Three Eyes on Every Fish.” Homer didn't get his time in the spotlight until circa Season Four. This is also a groundbreaking episode because it's full of cries, laughter, and feel good moments. Let's begin.

Blackboard Gag: "I will not encourage others to fly."

Couch Gag: The Simpsons sit on the couch, but it falls through the floor, leaving a crater.

At Springfield Elementary, Bart's fourth grade class is giving out their book reports. Martin has concluded his report Ernest Hemingway, and Mrs Krabappel loves it. Next up is Bart, and his report on Treasure Island. However, it is clear that Bart did not read the book, because his report consists of this:

"Well, as Mrs. Krabappel already mentioned, the name of the book that I read was Treasure Island.  It's about these... pirates. Pirates... with patches over their eyes...  and...  shiny gold teeth... and green birds on their shoulders. Did I mention this book was written by a guy named Robert Lewis Stevenson? And published by the good people at McGraw Hill.  So, in conclusion, on the Simpson scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, one being the lowest, and five being average, I give this book... a nine. Any questions? Nope? Then I'll just sit down."

Class and Krabappel:

Krabappel then asks Bart if he really did read the book. Bart says he's insulted! Is this a witch hunt or a book report? So Krabappel asks Bart to name the main pirate, so Bart seeks through his memory to answer: "Blackbeard... Captain Nemo... Captain Hook...  Long John Silver... Pegleg Pete... Bluebeard..." he guesses the last one, which is wrong of course.

This is the only Bluebeard I've ever heard of:

As punishment, Bart has to write "I will not fake my way through life" on the blackboard after class. While he does this, Krabappel tells Bart that his grades are slipping, then she asks if he's aware that there is a Colonial history exam tomorrow. Bart is obviously not paying attention, and just says "yes" at Krabappel. Krabappel then tells Bart that he isn't paying attention to her, but Bart denies this. When Krabappel asks him what she said, he replies with, "Straighten up and fly right." Lucky guess!

Later, Bart wastes his time playing "Escape from Grandma's House" at the arcade, and watches an episode of Itchy and Scratchy with his sisters.

Today's Itchy and Scratchy episode is entitled "Let Them Eat Scratchy." The cartoon features Scratchy dressed as a musketeer chasing Itchy. Itchy then runs under a curtain, and Scratchy looks through. However, he accidentally puts his head in a guillotine, and Itchy beheads him. Itchy then puts some dynamite in Scratchy's mouth, which explodes and leaves Scratchy's skull.

Bart then plans to study after dinner, but Homer ruins Bart's plans by inviting him to watch movies for Big Gorilla Week. Much later, when the movie is over, Bart goes upstairs to study. Unforunately, he falls asleep shortly after.

 Reminds me of when I fell asleep in the middle of study hall, and my teacher had to wake me up.

When Homer and Marge catch a glimpse of Bart sleeping at the desk, they put him to bed. The next morning, Bart is like:

So when he gets on the bus, he asks Otto to get into an accident, but Otto says he can't do that on purpose. So Bart goes over to Sherri and Terri, and asks them to give out some answers for the test. They give him wrong answers to screw him over. Here's what they answer:

1. What was the name of the Pilgrims' boat? The Spirit of St Louis (actually the Mayflower) 2. Where did they land? Sunny Acapulco (America) 3. Why did the leave England? Giant rats (persecution)

When Bart gets off the bus, Martin warns him that the answers are all wrong. Fucked, Bart fakes illness when test time begins. When in the nurse's office she asks what symptoms Bart has.

Bart: Sharp stabbing pains in my stomach. Nurse: Oh dear, I've heard of this. (gets a book on Amoria Phlebitis) Do you feel a shooting pain in your arm? Bart: Both arms, ma'am. Nurse: Temporary loss of vision? Bart: Who said that? Come closer.

Anyway, Bart is sent home where his parents take care of him. Bart even asks for the TV, much to Homer's chagrin. Lisa on the other hand knows that Bart is faking it. Bart then calls Milhouse and asks for his answers.

The next day, Bart uses some of these answers for his test, but these answers are all wrong! Krabappel tells Bart that this is the last straw, so after school, she calls in Homer and Marge to discuss Bart's bad grades. Krabappel then brings in Dr J Loren Pryor and he recommends that Bart repeat Fourth Grade. Bart however, doesn't want to do this so he vows to study harder.

The next day, Bart bemoans to Otto about his troubles. Otto isn't much of a consoler because he says he got held back twice, and "now he drives the school bus." Later, during class, Bart has a daydream where an elderly Krabappel asks a middle aged Bart what the name of the pirate was in Treasure Island, but Middle Age!Bart says this:

"Look, lady.  I got a peptic ulcer, my wife's hocking me for a new car, and I need a root canal.  Willya quit buggin' me about the stupid pirate?"

Middle Age!Bart's son then says, "It's Long John Silver, dad!" Elderly!Krabappel then asks to see them both after class. (Thanks a lot, son!)

Later, Bart runs into Martin and asks if he tutor him for a price: Bart will help Martin be cool instead of nerdy. Martin agrees to the bargain. Martin examines Bart's study area and says it needs to be gussied up. So the desk is cleaned off and a fern is added onto the desk.

On the bus, Bart tells Martin to sit in the back because apparently, that's where you can do mischief without anyone noticing. This also goes with classrooms and church.

We then see a montage of Bart and Martin teaching each other their ends of the bargain. One day, Martin is egstatic over the latest prank he played. Bart then asks Martin about helping him study, but Martin backstabs him by saying that "Life is too short for tests."

That night, Bart is diligently trying to study, but Marge tells him that's it's bedtime. Before he does so, Bart prays to God and asks him for a snowstorm or a power outage, even a teacher's strike. Meanwhile, Lisa pities this and says to herself that prayer "is the last refuge of a scoundrel."

Anyway, Bart thanks God in advance and finally goes to bed. Outside the Simpsons house, a single snowflake falls to the ground, followed by more snow and a church choir singing, "Hallelujah."

The next day, Bart doesn't want to get up, but Marge shows him the snow that fell last night. 

Bart is stunned and he rushes down to the kitchen where the family is attentively listening to the radio on closures. Homer is happy because the Nuclear Plant is closed. When it's time to announce school closures, Bill can't announce because he's too excited. Marty then takes over by saying Springfield County schools are- Wait for it- Closed! Homer and Bart are so happy, while Marge and Lisa just smile at them.

Bart is about to play outside, but Lisa stops him and reminds him of why he wanted a snow day. Bart then goes upstairs when he realizes that he asked for a snowstorm to have an extra day of study.

Unfortunately for Bart, everyone in Springfield is having the time of their lives out in the snow, even the grown ups. The people of Springfield then hold hands in a circle a la How the Grinch Stole Christmas and sing "Winter Wonderland."

Doesn't this look like a nice Christmas Card photo?

Anyway, Bart snaps out of his yearning to join in the fun and gets down to work. He studies in the basement and slaps himself to motivate himself to study harder.

The next day, Bart takes his test. When class is over, Bart asks Krabappel to grade him now. Bad news, Bart got an F. Bart is so devestated that what happens next is one of animation's most heartbreaking scenes. Just as bad as Twilight Sparkle being fired from being her brother's Best Mare, just as bad as the ending to Sailor Moon R episode 15, just as bad as the climax to Toy Story 3... you get the idea. Bart breaks down right now and then and cries really loudly!

Bart, me, and anyone else who has a heart:

Krabappel asks what's wrong, and Bart said he really DID study this time. Krabappel says that the F is higher than usual, but that doesn't help Bart. Now he knows how George Washington felt when he surrendered Fort Necessity to the French in 1754. Krabappel is intrigued, so Bart clarifies what he was referring to. Krabappel checks a history book, and lo and behold, Bart is right! Krabappel then bumps Bart's grade up to a D-. Know what that means? He barely made it! Bart is on top of the world,

 and in blind joy, kisses Krabappel.

Bart then dances out of the school celebrating is victory.

 He suddenly pauses and starts spitting, realizes that he kissed his teacher.

Later, Bart's family puts his test on the refrigerator. Bart then proclaims that "part of this D- belongs to God."

The End