#636.8

When you hiss and you scowl But you're wrapped in a towel That's Bad Lady (That's Bad Lady) When you run and you poo But she still catches you That's Bad Lady (That's Bad Lady) When you hide behind chairs Cos that bitch is still there That's Bad Lady (That's Bad Lady)

Absolute Weeping Angel shenanigans the second you take your eyes off the little shit:

Brute force failed, try social engineering. Pleeeeeeeeease let me in your house. I am so cute, so harmless. My tummy is so fluffy:

Yesssss, let her think she's distracted me with head scritches. Eyes on the prize, baby, and the prize is crime:

(We weren't even kissing it was like a silly high-five routine. He was disgusted.)

Perky, motherfuckerly:

He made it pretty clear he wasn't going to go quietly, so after his screaming rampage through the kitchen, I backed him into a corner, threw a towel over him, scooped up the whole snarling mess and stuffed it in the box, with him chewing angrily on the towel. We got away with one broken plate and three scratches this time, plus the psychological trauma. Misty is hiding under a sheet.

Get older cats, I said. Get ones that are already socialised, I said.

So she got feral kittens and now I'm tagged in whenever a job requires quick reflexes, a willingness to grab an animal that's hissing and snarling, and the ability to survive the subsequent mauling.