#4th date

he's softening? ^-^

I had gotten alot Responses like near 200... but I think they're a.i. Generated Responses and Not necessarily a Real person...

Like they say they Live in you Area... but want money to Meet You...

The Website is Janky maybe all a Scam... not cheap Either...

I at lease tried it once for a month...

Sooooo…. 48 and I had a total little make out session in my doorway…. And it was totally HOT!  

Let us back up….

48 came to pick me up and took me to eat sushi.  He took me to a popular restaurant that I had never been to because I had no interest to wait in a line…. Luckily there was no line when we arrived, unluckily, the dinner went by too fast.  

During the lightning fast dinner, due to a fast kitchen and hardly any patrons, 48 revealed he was enjoying reading my blog. Although he questioned my fashion sense of his 2nd date shirt!  

This is going to be interesting, dating a guy that is actively reading my posts after our dates to figure out how he rated.  He’s calling it a dating review.  He’s never been able to read about his dates in the past…

Doubt he’s ever dated such a woman as myself!  

He is probably reading this entry right now….              

The food was delicious and the company was fun.  

I do like 48.  He makes me laugh.  I feel comfortable around him and at times I’m slightly nervous.  It’s a nice sensation.  I feel his confidence and know whatever I say or do, he won’t be offended.  But I should probably lay off the him being sooo MUCH OLDER than I am teases…

After dinner, we walk around (no take charge hand holding) looking for another bar to have a drink,.  I remember there being a place close by…. Nope, my memory failed. We end up driving closer to my nook and sat ourselves in an empty booth.  Him sitting next to me of course….

More jokes and deeply looking into each other’s eyes… 48 suggests we start a PodCast about our courting.  He talks about how he’s never been in an open relationship before, neither have I, (but are we in a relationship???) and it would be fun to have a PodCast in which we discuss our dates as well as other dates we’ve having, critiquing each other…

Sounds hilarious. But part of me wonders if he’s only suggesting that because he knows I’m still attempting to date other guys because I’m not quite all there to only date him, and is he also dating other women??? He did mention I would get jealous… I’m not usually the jealous type.  I’d be curious about the other women he is dating, comparing myself to them. Trying to one up them to make sure I always carry the most favor….

Is that what I want?  What do I want???

I just started dating again, like really actively dating.  48 is the first guy I’ve gone on a date with, (Unknown number doesn’t really count) and I know I’m liking him more and more.  It’s refreshing to go out with him.  It’s a different feeling wanting to hear from him every day but then at the same time enjoying I don’t have to feel obligated to hear from him. However, if things continue to progress the way they are, I think I would like to hear a Good Morning and a Good Night from him when we are not together…

Ok I’m jumping ahead of myself!

Back to date…

I can tell as we sit there, he wants to kiss me.  Do I want to kiss him, do I want to be that couple who makes out in a bar in front of complete strangers, strangers that are younger than him…. I write that because I jokingly said we can’t kiss, there are kids around!  He tells me that no one is paying attention to us and leans in…

I like his kisses.  They are the right amount of everything.  It feels like we’re school kids.

Drinks finished, we decide to call it a night, but I’m feeling he wants to just continue kissing me in a more private setting, perhaps on my couch or in my bed…. That’s not happening!  

We walk out the door and he takes charge and holds my hand. I do like holding hands…

He parks the car, near grass of course!  Now’s his chance to be chivalrous. He picks me up and over the grass my heels go… I like being in his arms, I feel small and like I weigh nothing…  His arms are strong and no sign of his back giving way. I jokingly ask how his back is feeling…

We run into my neighbor and neighbor has a curious look on his face…  He asks what we are doing, Just coming back from dinner…

I open my door, drop off my purse and turn back to 48…

He is not coming inside.  I had cleaned up my place but wasn’t ready to show him all the inner workings of my little nook.  We stood there, small talking when he grabs me and starts kissing me.  More aggressively, hands on my ass.  Hands cradling my face, which I actually love!!! He suggests he could sit on my couch… NO!  My couch is too small for us… And I know if we try to make out on my couch, it will certainly lead to my bed and then….

I’m not sure what my hesitation is to having him inside my nook, inside me… I like him.  Maybe a little too much. I think back with all those other guys and how easily I dropped my panties and let them in… Thinking I really liked them but did I really like them???? They all turned out to be complete duds….

He leaves and I watch him… Smiling the whole time.

He texted me when he arrived home and said we didn’t make our next date.  I told him he didn’t insist.  

I could barely think

All the blood rushing out of your brain..

Still hasn’t come back

Better be careful

Next date.  Focus

A Letter from Bedder’s