#4ckrmn

you swallowed the sting and told yourself he was grieving.

but it got worse.

one night after an expedition that nearly wiped out half the regiment, you found him in the stables, knuckles bloody from punching a wooden post. you reached for his hand. “levi, stop—”

he yanked away like your touch burned him. “what the fuck do you think you’re doing? you think you can fix me? play hero and make me feel less like a walking corpse?” his voice was ice-cold. “stay away from me. i don’t want you near me anymore.”

that one hurt deeper. still, you tried once more.

the breaking point came three weeks later.

rain hammered the roofs of the headquarters. you’d spent all day helping with the burial preparations—too many bodies, too few graves. you found levi alone in the old archive room, staring at a map like it had personally betrayed him. exhaustion and grief made you bold.

“levi… you don’t have to carry this alone. i’m here. i’ve always been here.”

he turned slowly. the look in his eyes was hollow.

“you’re here?” a bitter, ugly laugh escaped him. “how fucking sweet. you think i need your comfort? that your little crush is going to keep the titans from ripping you apart?” he stepped closer, voice dropping into something cruel and precise. “every person who gets close to me ends up dead. my mother. furlan. isabel. everyone. you’re just another idiot who’s going to die because you can’t mind your own damn business. so do us both a favor and fuck off. i don’t want you. i never did. stop embarrassing yourself by chasing after me like a lost puppy.”

the words carved into you. you felt something inside crack clean in half.

you didn’t cry in front of him. you simply stared for one long second, then nodded once.

“alright,” you said, voice barely holding. “i won’t bother you again.”

you walked out without looking back. behind you, you heard the sound of something shattering—maybe a teacup, maybe something worse but you didn’t turn around.

the silence that followed was worse than any titans.

you stopped seeking him out. stopped saving him seats. stopped glancing his way during briefings. when your paths crossed in the corridor, you kept your eyes forward, jaw tight, even as your heart screamed at you to look at him.

at night you lay awake replaying every cruel word. i don’t want you. i never did. you cried until your eyes burned, then wiped your face and told yourself you were done. but you weren’t. you still loved him—fiercely, stupidly. every time you saw him limping back from training, or drinking tea alone on the roof, the ache returned stronger.

levi noticed. of course he did.

he saw the way you avoided him. saw how your laughter, once something he heard across the dining hall had disappeared. he told himself it was better this way. safer. you would live longer without him dragging you into his cursed existence.

but the emptiness gnawed at him too.

then came the mission.

a desperate push into titan territory to secure an old supply cache. levi led the vanguard as always. you were assigned to the rear support squad somewhere far enough that you wouldn’t have to speak to him. far enough that you still heard the screams when the abnormals appeared.

the battle was chaos. you fought until your gas canisters ran dry and your blades were dull. when the call came over the signal flares that captain levi was down, your blood turned to ice.

they brought him back on a stretcher. his right leg was crushed. a deep gash ran across his ribs and shoulder where debris had fallen on him after he took down a 12-meter class to save his squad. he was unconscious, pale as death, blood soaking through the makeshift bandages.

the moment you saw him, all your resolve shattered.

you pushed past the medics. “i’ll handle it.”

“miss, you’re not assigned—”

“i said i’ll handle it.” your voice cracked with authority and barely contained panic. they let you through.

for five straight days you barely left his side.

you cleaned his wounds when they reopened. you held him down when fever made him thrash and mutter names of the dead. you whispered apologies to him when he was unconscious, even though he couldn’t hear you. “i’m sorry i couldn’t stay away… i’m sorry it hurts this much…”

on the sixth night, the rain returned. levi’s fever finally broke. his eyes those sharp, steel grey eyes opened slowly and found you slumped in the chair beside his bed, dark circles under your eyes, hands still holding a cloth you’d been using to cool his forehead.

he stared at you for a long time.

“why?” the word scraped out, raw and weak.

you straightened up, exhausted. “because someone has to keep you alive, even if you hate me for it.”

levi tried to move and winced sharply. pain flashed across his face. for once, he didn’t hide it. “you should’ve left me to rot. after what i said to you…”

you looked away, throat burning. “yeah. maybe i should have.”

silence stretched, heavy and suffocating.

“i meant to push you away,” he rasped eventually. his voice was so quiet you had to lean closer. “every time you smiled at me… every time you stayed… i saw the future. i saw you on the ground with your stomach torn open, or your head crushed, because i couldn’t protect you. so i hurt you first. made sure you’d leave.” his fingers twitched on the blanket like he wanted to reach for you but didn’t deserve to. “i didn’t think it would feel this fucking empty.”

tears welled up before you could stop them. you hated yourself for it.

“you broke me, levi,” you whispered, voice trembling. “i stopped sleeping. i stopped eating properly. every time i saw you i wanted to scream and run to you at the same time. i still love you, even though i hate you for what you said. how pathetic is that?”

levi closed his eyes. a rare, pained expression crossed his face—vulnerability he never allowed anyone to see.

“i’m sorry.” the apology sounded like it physically hurt him. “i’m so fucking sorry. i don’t expect you to forgive me. i wouldn’t. but… when i was under that rubble, half-conscious, all i could think was that i might die without ever telling you the truth.”

he opened his eyes again. they were glassy.

“i need you. i’ve needed you for years. and i was too much of a coward to admit it.”

you let out a broken sound half sob, half laugh and covered your face with your hands. all the months of grief poured out of you. levi watched, helpless, bandaged and broken in the bed.

when your shoulders finally stopped shaking, you felt his fingers brush weakly against your wrist. not grabbing. just… there. an offering.

“i know i don’t deserve another chance,” he murmured. “but if you can stand to look at me again… i won’t push you away anymore. i swear it.”

you didn’t answer right away. the hurt still lived inside you, deep and ugly. but so did the love.

you slid your hand into his and held on.

“i’m still angry with you,” you whispered.

“good,” levi said hoarsely. “stay angry. just… don’t leave.”

for the first time since the fight, you stayed.

and levi—bruised, broken, and finally honest—didn’t let go.

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 ©4ckrmn — like/reblog .

the sun hung low over the hills outside the city, painting the fields in soft golds and oranges that levi ackerman had never thought he’d live long enough to see. he sat on the porch of the small house they’d given him — more like a cottage, his wheelchair creaking faintly as he shifted. the teacup in his hand had gone cold ten minutes ago. he didn’t care.

he still waited.

every evening, like clockwork, some stupid part of his brain expected the familiar sound of your boots on the wooden steps. the quiet “tch, you’re staring again, captain” that always came with that half smirk of yours. the way you’d drop down beside him without asking, shoulder brushing his, smelling faintly of gunpowder and soap no matter how many years had passed since the last expedition.

but you never came.

because you were dead.

that was the fact he repeated to himself like a mantra. he’d seen it. or close enough. the final chaos of the rumbling, the sky tearing itself apart, titans crumbling into bone and dust. you’d been assigned to the eastern flank with the remaining scouts — trying to buy time for the others. when the dust settled and the reports came in, your squad was listed as KIA. no body recovered. too many had been vaporized or buried under the collapsing walls of the world.

levi had read the list once. then burned it.

he hadn’t cried. not then. not in front of anyone. he’d simply wheeled himself away from the makeshift command tent and stared at the horizon until his remaining eye burned. you idiot, he’d thought. i told you not to play hero.

months had passed. the world tried to rebuild. he tried to exist in it.

some days were better. onyankopon visited often, bringing absurd contraptions and worse jokes. gabi and falco stopped by like noisy puppies, arguing over who got to push his chair when the ground was uneven.

but nights were brutal.

he would wake up reaching for the empty side of the bed, phantom pain shooting through his missing fingers, his body remembering the weight of you curled against him. the rare nights you’d both let the walls down completely. your voice in the dark, soft and stubborn:

“i’m not leaving you, levi. not even if the whole damn world ends.”

you were alive.

hundreds of kilometers away, in a quiet coastal village on the mainland that had once been part of marley’s outer territories, you limped down the dirt path toward the small clinic you helped run. your left leg still ached when it rained—souvenir from shrapnel and a collapsed building but you were breathing. walking. helping the locals treat the endless stream of refugees and wounded.

you’d been separated from your squad in the madness. dragged half dead from the rubble by a group of marleyan defectors who’d chosen survival over loyalty. they’d smuggled you across the sea with other survivors. communication with paradis had been cut off for months afterward. by the time letters could be sent, rumors had already solidified into facts.

captain levi ackerman had been told you were dead.

you’d written him anyway. three letters. each one returned unopened, marked undeliverable — recipient deceased or simply lost in the chaos of new postal systems. the last one you’d clutched in your hands until the ink smeared, then tucked it into the bottom of your bag like a wound that refused to close.

levi was in the market square when it happened.

he rarely went himself, usually sent one of the kids but today the walls had felt too close. he needed air. needed to remind himself the world was still turning even if you weren’t in it.

falco pushed the chair while gabi argued with him about bread prices. levi tuned them out, single eye scanning the crowd out of old habit.

then he saw you.

you were standing at a stall across the square, bargaining for bandages and herbs, your hair longer than he remembered, a scar he didn’t recognize cutting across your cheek. you looked… alive. tired. real.

his heart slammed against his ribs so hard he thought it might crack what was left of him.

“stop,” he said, voice low.

falco halted. “levi?”

levi’s hand gripped the wheel so tightly his knuckles went white. you turned slightly, profile catching the sunlight, and he felt the ground tilt.

it couldn’t be.

he’d buried you. In his mind, a thousand times.

he’d carried that weight like the stump of his leg—phantom and permanent.

you looked up. your eyes met his.

the world went silent.

you dropped the bundle of herbs. they scattered across the dirt like forgotten bones.

“levi…?”

your voice cracked on his name. you took one step, then another, limping faster, ignoring the stares. he couldn’t move. couldn’t speak. just watched you come closer like some ghost that had finally decided to haunt him in daylight.

when you reached him, you fell to your knees right there in the dirt, hands shaking as they hovered near his, afraid to touch and discover he wasn’t real.

“i thought–” your voice broke. “they said you died. they reports…everyone said—”

levi’s throat worked. he reached out, slow, and cupped your scarred cheek with his remaining fingers. warm. alive. the calluses were the same.

“you fucking idiot,” he whispered. the words came out rough, almost angry, but his eye was wet. “i thought you were gone.”

a sob tore out of you. you pressed your forehead to his knee, shoulders shaking. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry i was late.”

falco and gabi stood frozen a respectful distance away, eyes wide.

levi leaned forward as much as his broken body allowed, pressing his lips to the top of your head.

he breathed you in — soap, herbs, and the faint metallic tang of old blood that never quite washed out. the same.

“you’re here,” he said against your hair. it wasn’t a question. it was a fact he was still trying to believe.

you nodded, clinging to him like he might vanish. “i’m here and I’m not leaving again. not ever.”

for the first time since the war ended, levi ackerman let himself believe in something after the end of the world.

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the headache hit the second your eyes opened.

it wasn’t the usual post exhaustion ache. this felt like someone had pried open a door in your skull and forgotten to close it. you sat up in your narrow bunk, pressing the heels of your palms against your temples, and that was when the voices started.

damn boots still aren’t polished right…

if i have to run laps again today i’m going to throw myself off the wall.

wonder if she’s awake yet…

dozens of thoughts crashed into your mind at once—some loud, some quiet, some bored, some anxious. you gasped, eyes wide. telepathy. somehow, overnight, you could hear what everyone around you was thinking. the survey corps headquarters had never felt so loud.

you dressed on autopilot, heart hammering, and tried to focus on building some kind of mental wall. it helped a little. by the time you reached the mess hall, the roar had dulled to a constant murmur. until you saw him.

captain levi sat at his usual corner table, back straight, cup of tea cradled in his hands like it was sacred. his expression was the same blank mask he always wore around you. you tried to slip past, but—

“oi. sit.”

his voice was flat. you obeyed, sliding onto the bench across from him with your tray of lukewarm porridge and stale bread.

“you look like shit,” he said, not even looking up from his tea. “eyes are puffy. didn’t sleep? try not to collapse during training. i don’t need dead weight slowing my squad down.”

your spoon froze halfway to your mouth.

she still looks beautiful. how is that fair? those tired eyes make me want to pull her into my lap and let her sleep against my chest. fuck. stop. she already thinks i’m an asshole.

you nearly dropped your spoon. heat flooded your face.

levi’s gaze flicked up. “what? something on my face, brat?”

“n-no,” you managed, quickly shoving porridge into your mouth.

all this time you had assumed Levi merely tolerated you. his sharp tongue, the constant criticism, the way he always seemed extra irritated when you were around—you thought he disliked you. maybe even resented you for taking up space in his squad.

but the thoughts flowing from him were impossibly soft.

she’s nervous again. cute. i should’ve saved her the softer bread roll instead of giving it to the new recruits. idiot. why can’t i just say something nice for once?

you spent the rest of breakfast stealing glances at him, fighting the smile threatening to break across your face.

training was even worse. or better. you couldn’t decide.

“fix your damn stance,” levi snapped, circling you with his arms crossed. “you’re swinging like a drunk civilian. again.”

look at her. form’s already improved so much. she’s getting stronger every week. makes my chest feel tight. want to tell her she’s doing well. want to put my hands on her waist and adjust her posture myself.

you stumbled mid swing. levi clicked his tongue.

“tch. pay attention.” he stepped closer, gripping your elbow to correct your arm. his touch was firm but careful. “if you die out there because you can’t focus, i’ll drag your corpse back and kick your ass.”

i’d burn the world down before i let anything happen to her.

your heart fluttered so hard you thought it might fly out of your chest. “yes, captain.”

he released you, but not before his fingers lingered half a second longer than necessary.

later, during hand to hand drills, he paired you with him. you ended up on your back in the dirt, levi’s knee pinning your shoulder.

“too slow,” he muttered, but his eyes were gentle. almost worried. “get up. again.”

she’s flushed. looks good like this. under me. shit—stop. focus, ackerman.

you bit your lip to keep from grinning. When he offered you a hand up, you took it. his grip was warm and steady.

after training, you were covered in sweat and dust. levi tossed a clean handkerchief at your face without warning.

“clean yourself up. you’re disgusting.”

her hands are too soft for this life. i want to wipe her face for her. i want to take her somewhere quiet and wash the dirt off myself. pathetic old man.

you pressed the handkerchief to your cheeks, hiding your smile in the fabric that smelled faintly of his soap—clean, sharp, comforting.

by late afternoon you were emotionally exhausted in the best way. every harsh word from levi was now wrapped in layers of affection in your mind. you followed him when he retreated to his office, pretending you had reports to deliver.

he was already wiping down his desk even though it gleamed. levi didn’t glance up when you entered.

“you’re still here? go rest. that’s an order.”

please don’t go. stay. the room feels warmer when you’re in it. i like the way you look at my bookshelves like you want to read every title. i like the way you say my name.

you closed the door behind you. levi finally looked up, one eyebrow raised.

“something wrong?”

you walked closer, heart pounding. “captain... you don’t actually hate me, do you?”

he scoffed, turning back to his rag. “don’t be stupid. if i hated you, you’d be scrubbing toilets with the new recruits.”

hate you? i’m so fucking in love with you it’s embarrassing. i count the days until i see you in the mess hall. i keep your gear in perfect condition because i can’t stand the thought of anything failing you. i replay your laugh in my head when it’s quiet.

you stepped around the desk until you were right beside him. gently, you placed your hand over his, stopping the endless cleaning.

“levi,” you whispered. “i can hear you.”

silence.

his entire body went still. those sharp gray eyes snapped to yours, wider than you’d ever seen them.

“what did you just say?”

“everything,” you said softly, smiling. “how you think i’m beautiful even when i look like crap. how you saved the soft bread for me this morning. how you wanted to adjust my stance by holding my waist. how you want to kiss me. how you… like me. a lot.”

levi stared at you for a long moment. a faint flush crept up the back of his neck—the tiniest, most precious crack in his armor.

“brat,” he muttered, but there was no heat in it. his hand turned beneath yours, calloused fingers threading carefully through your own like he was afraid you might vanish. “you’re a real pain in the ass for telling me like this.”

she knows. she’s still here. she’s smiling at me. don’t fuck this up.

you laughed quietly and leaned your forehead against his. he was shorter than you, but the way he tilted his head up to meet you felt perfect.

“i like you too,” you confessed. “i’ve liked you for a long time. i thought you couldn’t stand me… but hearing the truth? It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

levi exhaled shakily. one of his hands came up to cup the back of your neck, thumb brushing your skin with surprising tenderness.

“should’ve said something sooner,” he admitted, voice low. “but I’m shit with words. always have been.” he paused, then added, almost shyly, “you’re important. to me. don’t… don’t go getting yourself killed out there. i need you to come back.”

the words were still a little gruff, but now you could hear the full, beautiful truth behind them.

you pulled back just enough to look at him. “then i’ll keep coming back. every time.”

for a moment he just looked at you, eyes soft in a way no one else ever got to see. then he tugged you down gently and pressed a kiss to your forehead—slow, deliberate, and full of all the things he still struggled to say out loud.

“stay here tonight,” he murmured against your skin. “not for any weird shit. just… stay. i’ll make tea. we can sit quietly. i like quiet with you.”

you smiled, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “i’d like that.”

levi held you a little tighter, his thoughts wrapping around you like a warm blanket:

finally. she’s mine. i’m hers. and i’m never letting her go.

outside, the headquarters continued its usual chaos, but inside levi’s office, the world felt perfectly still. just the two of you—his sharp words, his soft heart, and the new, wonderful understanding blooming between you.

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@noctemys @fiannee @444anya @slaytherinthoughts @levisbrat25 @gloomyveil @blizzyblitz @puppyminnnie @v4mp1r3b4tzz @irohasmp3 @mayyhaps

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