#4.13.18

I increased my protein at dinner Tuesday, but Wednesday and Thursday my mom platted my food so I didn’t (but since I wasn’t the one platting it, it was lowkey plenty of protein anyways). That caused a lot of anxiety, but I did make it through that. Yesterday I had a morning snack (I couldn’t Wed bcos of lab), and it freaked me out so much. I did eat lunch though. Then later I had a cookie as an afternoon snack, and I was so so so so so overwhelmed with guilt/shame, I ended up digging my finger nails into my arms in an attempt to SH without actually self-harming. 

S and I got into an argument yesterday about a communication error. We both lack social skills sometimes. I was too persistent in asking about something he didn’t want to talk about, and he was too hostile (by my standards, not be anyone else’s lowkey he was just a bit stern) in telling me to stop asking. We both upset each other, but neither of intended to upset the other. We talked through it. There’s more talking to be done, but only the logistics of “these are my unspoken social expectations” and “here’s how I will make realistic adjustments to meet  your expectations” on both sides. 

S and I got into ANOTHER argument today. Honestly, it wasn’t an argument, it was more like, him expressing frustration, me acknowledging his frustration and apologizing for being a worthless person and then me crying for like 30 minutes.

We’re fine, S and I.