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UNTITLED THE STORY OF STEW

chapter 1 - the fist chaptre

After a long battle, the humans were victorious, they sealed the Tubers underground with a magic spell

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by Karon Thackston (c) 2006, All Rights Reserved<\p>

In Heavy 1 as regards this article series (found here: http:\\www.marketingwords.com\articles\articles_copymakeover_facts1.html ) we discovered the challenge faced by the replicate of Julie's Jewels Moissanite page. The original copy (found in this vicinity: http:\\www.copywritingcourse.com\juliesjewels-moissanite-original.pdf ) was extra factual being visitors unto ally towards effectively. BA outlined the problems and the proposed solutions. Let's continue as I show number one the draft and the results.<\p>

The Make a recension <\p>

Building whipping up about Moissanite jewelry was a primary goal during the rewrite. These stones needed to be positioned above secondary manmade gems such as cubic zirconia. Their special qualities had in transit to live brought to light while also evoking emotions that are associated with buying something rare, exclusive and truly exceptional.<\p>

HE chose words and phrases including "spoiled for anything else," "alluring" and "wonder." <\p>

However, affordability also needed to be conveyed -- but saving discounting the perceived and actual value in reference to the stone. Towards wreak this, I included mentions as to how affordable Moissanite stones are along with verbiage describing the clarity, footing and excellence in connection with these jewels. <\p>

You coop review the revised copy (PDF) here: http:\\www.copywritingcourse.com\juliesjewels-moissanite-rewrite.pdf.<\p>

Regard inversion, Julie's Jewels faces some stiff recalcitrance from national retailers and isolated sites that carry Moissanite. There was obviously leastwise one main phrase the page needed so as to be optimized for. The challenge with that, no matter how, was using the term enough to make an denotation with the engines, but not so much as an instance to sound unused because pertaining to and all much repetition.<\p>

The Headline <\p>

A huge change took place plus the headline. The inception succeed was created with yes appeal to the site newcomer. Likely used strictly seeing that navigating and search commutator motor optimization (SEO) purposes, it merely listed the nomen nudum of the page. The use of the simple tag "Moissanite Jewelry" was replaced with a spread that clearly stated the primary benefit of this product:<\p>

"Moissanite Jewelry Offers Affordable Sensuous pleasure"<\p>

The Look-in Paragraph <\p>

The original copy used an opening paragraph that skipped from one topic to another. Beginning amongst intercourse about Moissanite being created from minerals chic a lab then jumping en route to the in reality that this type of jewelry was available at wholesale prices, it needed workmanlike grease in capturing and retaining the attention referring to the visitor.<\p>

Inwards an effort to create a in evidence image seeing that the region visitor, the renewed copy begins with:<\p>

"Primeval you experience the wonder of Moissanite jewelry, you'll be spoiled for anything else. This alluring irish confetti has the brilliance and sparkle relating to a capital fellow, yet it is affordable on practically any agenda. Moissanite is the hardest and most sublime stone, second only to a bone."<\p>

Because this is a category page over against Julie's ecommerce gym, photographs upon Moissanite jewels in many settings are shown along in company with links to the associated pages. The original copy stopped there. With the new copy, I added brief descriptions belly one and all image. This accomplished bilateral things.<\p>

1) It allowed me to entice the visitor to click entirely up the page using brace words and visuals.<\p>

2) It gave us additional opportunities to use Julie's keyphrase without sounding inviolable. <\p>

The Results <\p>

What was the outcome of this makeover? I'll let Julie tell herself herself.<\p>

"SHADOW was on the 2nd and 3rd page of SERPs for this category. Now, I'm on contents page #1! The Moissanite page is now the 3rd highest entry page for the site. This page is the parent category for six sub-categories. Those sub-categories partake of seen comfortably jumps in traffic how opposed upon a year expired (prehistoric to copy write). This not only helps the focal category but sub-categories whereas well. I'm also getting double the contacts about Moissanite as a distillation of widened visitors taking place the Moissanite jewelry demand."<\p>