#31.8.17

i hear it manoeuvre its way back in,

sliding icy fingers up my spine

and a dull drumbeat into my temple.

i keep covering my face

with jittering hands,

as if somehow if they don't

see me cry it didn't happen.

but it did and will continue to,

the choking sensation

making its comeback,

closing my throat and forcing me

to wonder why i ever thought

it could be okay.

ever thought i could lock the door

hard and fast enough

to prevent the mist