Mar 26, 2020
Back when we could still shake hands.
Please give me credit if you repost.
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Back when we could still shake hands.
Please give me credit if you repost.
IG
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"Think ....Purple"
Watched "Funny Face" AGAIN! 🤷♀️ Just feeling a case of the blues lately....(no "mean reds" yet👍)....usually my favorite old movies help this, but not today.....just really ready for something exciting to look forward to. (3.26.20)
I should be trying to sleep but instead I’m thinking of the scene in The Untamed, maybe episode 12/13 or so, when Wei and Lan are trapped in the cave. Wei uses Lan’s headband in place of rope for Lan’s makeshift splint, since there’s nothing else, and Lan protests a little of course but like his leg is broken and something is needed, so he lets it happen. Later, and this is what’s stuck in my head, Lan wakes up with his headband back on and Wei smiles at him, saying something to the effect of “I know it makes you nervous without it[, which is why I returned it to where it needed to be while you were sleeping].”
today my sister & i planned on going to the park but before i went i was asked to eat and i fucking sobbed over the fact that i was going to have to eat.
i love your body
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going to wear my best savannah outfit tomorrow even though no one will see it
i’m feeling too many things at once again. i’m going to have to shut up. and shut down. live inside myself for a while. i always hate when it comes to this. i always feel so damn alone. i wish everyone thought of me as much as i did them and they’d say it, “hey, i’m thinking of you. how are you holding up?” i check up and there’s no reply. sometimes in the morning there’s a text and sometimes it’s sweet but usually it’s just an apology for not replying the day before and that’s it almost all of the time. that’s it. and i just keep waiting for something more, a little more feeling, and i go about my day and it seems no one is ever feeling as much as i am. i think this is how you felt, huh? and it ate you alive and it took you away, and i don’t want to go away, i just don’t want to feel so alone. i wish you hadn’t felt alone. i’m right here. i feel it all too. i could have understood you.
gonna start calling my cat e-dawg
me giving the security guy on campus a thumbs up and telling him i was good as i sat in my car in an abandoned parking lot and was crying ten minutes earlier is very on brand for me and for 2020