Feb 23, 2018
What’s up with the white outfits?
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What’s up with the white outfits?
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Text from T, telling me that she knows it is hard to call right now and its okay. She got my email and she is around if I want to call her today, else she will see me tomorrow as usual.
Feeling like a horrible person because here she is, telling me I can call and she has time and I still dont want to call and I cant even bring myself to respond because i”d rather hide and pretend that everything is okay
22. februar 2018 Di. Entjungferung adeee. Erstes Tattoo 🖤💉 11h 02m 41s 56°18m 25s ✨
Shoutout to my girl @the-dancing-scream for spending time with me and making me feel better than I have in nearly two weeks.
So full Pianoforte Monologue and in this unstable world are out.
in this unstable world is a pretty swaggy bop once you get past the first 40 seconds. Seriously, those first 40 seconds sound like a Geometry Dash custom stage. It's not really my thing. The rest is pretty swaggy though.
Meanwhile, Riko sounds absolutely beautiful in Pianoforte Monologue, but, well, the song isn't my style at all. I'm pretty open to whatever when it comes to music, I really don't have a favourite genre or anything, and there's no real consistency to what I enjoy. Pianoforte Monologue is, unfortunately, not the type of song I enjoy. I don't even consider it bad at all, I just derive next to no pleasure from listening to it. Though perhaps if I listen to it enough it'll grow on me.
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Step 2 done ✅
Well, I finally had my appointment this morning. I was so nervious!!! I haven't slept for 3 nights, oops!
Well, as soon as he saw me he knew that I am doing the right thing. He was very supportive, which I’m thankful for, because the last doctor I had was a little... different.
Well, he’s gonna guide me through the whole process. He sent me to the rest of the doctors I have to visit now (to check my heart, my lungs, my stomach, my head!! my blood...). I already have appointments to all of that. The first one is next Thursday. The have to take an eco of my stomach to see if everything is correct, and I can keep along with this. Uggggg, that's what terrifies me!! That they see something's wrong inside me through all of this and first I can't keep going;and second, I have something wrong/bad inside me that needs to be taken care of first.
Since I lost my cousin one and a half year ago because she had cancer on her kidney, and scared of every little pain I feel inside me. That fear makes me refuse to go to see a doctor because I don't want to be told I’m sick (yeah, I know, that’s wrong) but I can not feel that way.
Anyway, in seven days I’ll know how things are going. Wish me luck?
I finished Mother's Rosario. It's by far the best arc in SAO (maybe the light novels get better though?).
Yuuki's a pretty good character and her relationship she develops with Asuna is really sweet. The ending, while I won't describe it seeing as how @meme-emperor hasn't finished yet, is by far the best ending in the series too, and, while it didn't even make me tear up, is pretty emotional with how bittersweet it is.
Hot take - the relationship developed between Kirito and Asuna pales in comparison to those of Kirito and Sinon, and Asuna and Yuuki. I get why they're not canon, more so with Asuna and Yuuki, but Sinon and Kirito have way more reasons to love one another than Kirito and Asuna, imo.
Forgot to mention that I came out to another friend today. Or yesterday I guess. I've been wanting to tell this friend for a hella long time, too. It was super nonchalant. We were just wandering out of the library and I realised that there was nobody else in like a 10 metre radius so that was like my first truly private moment with her in a long time. So I just seized the opportunity.