#2016 reflection

So I’m thinking about all the terrible things that happened in 2016 and getting depressed about everything. But ya know, a lot of good things happened too.

I got 3 new piercings and 1 new tattoo

Traveled in an air plane and went to the beach for the first time

Met some amazing new people and made some fantastic new friends

Went to 7 concerts!!!! And a music festival!!!

Met one of my favorite bands?!?

Met Darren Knight aka Southern Mama and Rocky Dale Davis

Went to an Impractical Jokers live show AND met the guys AND got hugs from them all??!?!!!

Booked my first cruise for this year

Nine Things I Learned in 2016: The Year of Getting Really, Really, Uncomfortable

You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into— Honesty.

—Avril Lavigne,

Patron Saint of Girls Who Once Had Their Hair Dyed Black Underneath

12/20/2016: Reflecting on this year, it’s hard to believe I wasn’t, somehow, betterat the beginning than I am now. I know this is the tricky way in which nostalgia works—it’s 90% missing how naïve and innocent you were…

Nine Things I Learned in 2016: The Year of Getting Really, Really, Uncomfortable

You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into— Honesty. —Avril Lavigne, Patron Saint of Girls Who Once Had Their Hair Dyed Black Underneath 12/20/2016: Reflecting on this year, it’s hard to believe I wasn’t, somehow, better at the beginning than I am now. I know this is the tricky way in which nostalgia works—it’s 90% missing how naïve and innocent you were…

I have been on anti-depressants for a little over a year now after declining drug treatment from my doctor for a long, long time.

It was the best decision I ever made. It may not make the things I did or said when I was unwell better, but at least I know going forward that I will be better.

I am no longer the person I was two years ago where everything I did felt like it wasn’t enough, and in trying to be enough, hurt a lot of people. When I would draw back and insist on me, it was destructive. I was awful.

I still struggle to balance all of my hobbies and my real life, but that’s always going to be there. At least now, I don’t feel like I’m not enough. I’m not creating more reasons to hate myself, or find those reasons where they aren’t there.

2016 may have been pretty stupid for a lot of other reasons, but it was a year of recovery for me. I am someone entirely different now.

but i’m still kinda breathing; still smiling, still cracking my back with the load of school work. And y’all i have to tell you, seeing you die so suddenly Chen, was a violent reminder that no matter how sucky life is, how the world is in a horrible place right now, we need to live for tomorrow. Because one day tomorrow won’t come. It will come for other people who will live and breathe in the world, not even knowing a person has ceased to exist. But those who remember, who knew you, will grieve and move on. “Live your life like tomorrow is your last day” was never such an understanding till now. So even though i feel my mind trying to shut down, my body start to give in, i’m not gonna give up. Because you know, tomorrow might be so much brighter then today.

there is so much death around us, and not enough life. I want to change that. 

My New Year’s resolution is this: i will live and achieve my dreams my goals; laugh and cry and enjoy the bittersweet drink of life because i am not dead yet , and i will live for those who couldn’t. We have one chance to live in this world, I am not going to waste it. I raise a glass to you world, just you wait as i go and change you, burn you brightly and watch you grow anew.