#2.3.21

One of the people I work for is a professional psychic. While I’ve had readings done on me before, I’ve never had one done by a professional psychic. I don’t believe in coincidences, and our Paths have crossed, so I figured I should, especially because I get a major discount.

It was really interesting. She is an Intuitive Empath; I would say that she is mostly empathic, but by far the strongest empath I’ve ever met. She feels emotions and other things physically; for example, she was like “I’m hearing a ringing in my right ear which means x” or “my left thumb just went numb, which is the receiving intuition, which means x.” Supperrr interesting!!

But she definitely knew what she was talking about lol. She was able to nail my familial situation without her knowing about it previously. She also parroted some messages that I’ve been getting from the Universe lately: that I need to stop fucking around and get more serious about my practice and spirituality. I need to choose my spirituality, or ignore it until Fate makes me choose it. This definitely resonated.

We talked about my emotions lol she told me that I was bad at letting myself feel and had a tendency to either bottle up or ignore my emotions until it was very unhealthy, which is very true. But something that really clicked with me is that she told me that I’m not really using my empathy well, because as soon as I pick up on someones’ emotions, I immediately start analyzing them with my mind, rather than letting myself feel them; it’s through the heart, not the mind.

This like - blew my mind. The words of Ca echoed through me head - “Don’t think, just do.” It makes total sense tbh; empathy is all about feeling, and I haven’t been doing that, severely limiting my ability.

But the biggest thing from the reading was an epiphany. I’ve always been very good at meeting people at their level, adapting to them as I need to. As soon as I meet or interact with someone, I learn many things about them, including what they would think about certain parts of me, but more specifically like the whole psychic and spirituality thing. So rather than put myself in an awkward or confrontational situation, I prefer to just tuck that part of me away and not deal with it.

Today, she told me that this is not me protecting myself, but rather me pleasing other people; this is me hiding myself away so that they can be comfortable.

This completely blew my mind. I’ve done this for a long time now, but I’ve always seen it as just protecting my energy. I even do it with my friends know me well, and even on here. I just... I guess I realized that I’ve never truly been like,,, wholly myself??

She said this, and I’ve been getting this message from the Universe lately too: It’s time to step up, and stand in my truth and strength; I just need to be myself, and let people come and go in response to that.

So. I’m just going to be more myself, I guess. It’s going to take a little bit of work fully getting out of this habit, but I know that it will be worth it.

That’s it for now. I hope that everyone has a wonderful evening!