#18hours

[ Prologue. ]

If these walls could talk,
Your ears would bleed.
Screaming color -
Wound up -
Emblazoned with need.

[ Wall 1 ]

If these walls could talk, they’d tell you about a girl who is not nearly as confident as everyone thinks she is. A girl who chews herself inside out each and every day just trying to love those she’s fighting to love.

If these walls could talk, they’d paint a portrait of tears and blood and sweat and screams shot through with joy and ecstasy and adrenaline.

If these walls could talk, they would show you pain and heartbreak and utter despair. A girl who has loved and lost and everything else in between. A girl who has been broken and pieced herself back together bit by aching bit.

If these walls could talk, they would show you just how lonely loneliness really feels. How each hour that drags by without a message or call is like knives in my belly. Or the constant burning underneath my skin that keeps me up at night. And the nightmares.

If these walls could talk, they would show you that there is more to one person than the skin they live in.

[ Wall 2 ]

If these walls could talk, they would tell you my secrets, my hopes, my dreams. They would show you glimpses of past, present, and future. Of short days and long nights, of sunburns and secret kisses. Of that one song you couldn’t get out of your head that one summer. Of thoughts of that one person that always meant too much and gave too little.

If these walls could talk, they would tell you about the laughter and the tears, of the late-night phone calls, and the eye crinkling smiles. Of the walls covered with trophies that mean jack shit and affirmations reminding you to keep breathing.

If these walls could talk, they would give you insight into the life of a girl who has been both too much and too little to many people. They would give you a picture of a girl who has been close to death but also full of life. It would show you that the dusk and the dawn are equally beautiful, but the midnight sky is vast and endless when you put stars in her eyes.

If these walls could talk, you would hear ambulance sirens and hushed whispers in hallways, mixed signals and too many feelings; fucking insanity reincarnate.

If these walls could talk, would you listen?

[ Wall 3 ]

If these walls could talk, you’d hear the whisper on my lips as I fall asleep. Every wish I’ve ever made and every secret I’ve been asked to keep.

If these walls could talk, you’d smell too much tequila and highs and lows that make your head spin. You would feel every bruise, every needle, every pill. You'd feel the fingers down my throat as I stare at my reflection in the water, full of self loathing. You’d wake up alone in hospital beds, or staring at the stars too fucked up to move.

If these walls could talk, you’d taste the 3am pizza and the 5am panic attack. You’d feel the words on my tongue I’m not strong enough to speak. You would witness the madness and the beauty in every cell of your body.

If these walls could talk, you’d hear the crashing ocean waves and gasps of relief and realization. You would see footprints in the sand and endless fog in the sky. You’d hear the speaker playing that beat that tugs at your heart when all you crave is peace.

If these walls could talk, you would know me. But do I know you?

[ Wall 4 ]

If these walls could talk, you’d hear twilight soul sessions that leave me completely bare. You’d see fumbling fingers, feel trembling passion, and question everything you’ve ever known.

If these walls could talk, they’d tell you a house does not make a home. You would hear the defeating silence of a childhood room; neurotic workaholic these walls are my tomb.

If these walls could talk, they’d tell my story when I’m gone. Take your chance, wont you turn my lights on? You’d know the girl, not the body, a silhouette drawn.

And that makes all the difference.

[ Epilogue. ]

If these walls could talk, You’d be dripping in sin. But you knock on the door, And I let you in.