Doctor/River + TTTW quotes (15River Edition)â "Do you ever lie awake wondering if I'm some kind of joke God is playing on you?"
"No. I lie awake worrying that you might disappear and never come back. I lie awake brooding about some of the stuff I sort of half know about in the future. But I have total faith in the idea that we are supposed to be together."
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reposting this again because the formatting went awry đ
divider by @cafekitsune
Somewhere Safe to Bury My Heart
a Fifteenth Doctor x River Song oneshot
đ Rating: General Audiences
đ Word Count: 3k
đ Tags: Post-Episode: s14e08 Empire Of Death (Doctor Who), The Doctor Loves River Song, intentionally and unconditionally, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Bring Back River Song
đ Summary: The TARDIS has always known what the Doctor needs, guiding him to the places and people who could make him whole. In this quiet garden, he finds River. Across his many regenerations, he realizes that a part of his heart will always be River-shaped, a bond no time or transformation can replace. In this fleeting moment together, she offers him the safe place he thought he'd never have againâthe hand to hold across lifetimes, a reminder that some bonds transcend even time itself.
Preview below the cut. | Read it in full on AO3.
The TARDIS materialized softly, as if sensing that loud, clanking gears would be out of place here. The Doctor stepped out into a secluded garden, wrapped in early evening shadows and a gentle breeze. The garden was beautifulâtucked away, with towering hedges and soft, winding pathways flanked by flowers in muted colors. It wasnât the kind of place heâd expect to find River Song, and yet, at the same time, it was perfectly fitting.
His gaze drifted along the path until he spotted her.
She was seated on a stone bench, a book resting open in her lap, one hand lightly tracing over the pages as her eyes moved across the lines. Her curls, now tinged with more silver than gold, caught the fading sunlight, framing her face in a soft, quiet glow. She looked up at the soft sound of his footsteps, her expression softening into a smile that held neither surprise nor amusementâjust an easy, comforting familiarity.
âHello, Sweetie,â she greeted, closing her book and placing it beside her. Her voice was a little quieter than he remembered, but it carried the same warmth.
The Doctor, for once, found himself at a loss for words. He took a few steps closer, his gaze fixed on her as if trying to reconcile this older, softer River with the one heâd known across all her wild adventures. âRiver,â he murmured, his voice almost reverent. âItâs been⊠some time.â
She patted the space on the bench beside her. âThen come and sit with me. Iâve kept your seat warm.â
Without hesitation, he took her invitation, settling down beside her. Her hand found his, warm and steady, fingers lacing together without a second thought. He glanced down, noting the absence of her familiar blaster holster, replaced only by a slim belt and her trusty sonic screwdriver tucked neatly at her side. The fierceness, the flirtatiousness, that wild edge heâd knownâhe could still feel its echo, but it had softened, folded into something deeper.
After a quiet moment, he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. âAre you happy here, River?â
She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. âVery. There comes a time, Sweetie, when a quiet garden feels like the grandest adventure of all.â
The Doctorâs gaze softened, a mixture of love and sorrow flashing across his face as he took in the peaceful scene around them. He wanted to ask more, to fill the silence with his usual flurry of questions, but something about the stillness of the moment held him back. Instead, he simply leaned in, resting his head lightly against hers.
He sat in comfortable silence, feeling the warmth of her hand in his, the gentle rhythm of her breathing as she sat by his side. He closed his eyes, letting himself relax into the moment. It felt like coming home in a way he rarely allowed himself to experience. She was here, whole and radiant and alive, and for now, that was enough.
But after a few moments, a hint of curiosity crept in, tempered with his usual blend of disbelief and awe.
âI didnât expect you to be so⊠grounded,â he murmured, glancing at her face. He searched for some flicker of the old Riverâthe irrepressible force who flirted and laughed in the face of certain doom. And yet, here she was, calm, almost serene.
River smiled softly, her gaze shifting to the blooms around them. âWell, perhaps thereâs something to be said for quieter adventures, Doctor. Sometimes, thereâs nothing quite as powerful as simply being still.â She tilted her head, studying his face with a knowing look. âThough I suppose that doesnât sound like your River.â
The Doctorâs brow furrowed. âWell, youâre still my River,â he replied, though his tone was uncertain. âJust⊠different, somehow.â
Her smile deepened, and she raised an eyebrow. âYou have no idea just how different, do you?â
He blinked, thrown off by the calm certainty in her tone. âShould I? I mean, of course, I know weâre always moving through each otherâs timelines, but you⊠you seemâŠâ
She laughed softly, cutting him off with a gentle shake of her head. âOh, Sweetie. Havenât you realized? Iâm the one who has all of our memories now.â
The Doctorâs breath caught, and for a split second, he felt the ground shift beneath him. His fingers tightened around hers reflexively as he looked at her, really looked at her. His gaze lingered on the faint lines around her eyes, the softer edges to her smile, the hint of timelessness that felt so much like his own.
âYou meanâŠâ he started, his voice hushed, struggling to wrap his mind around it. He swallowed, his words suddenly faltering as he felt the weight of her presence. âYouâre⊠youâre⊠youâve been to the Library?â
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Doctor/River + TTTW quotes (15River Edition)â âAre we going to get married?"
"I assume so. You've been telling me for years that wherever it is you're coming from, you're married to me."
Too much. This is too much. I close my eyes and will myself to think of nothing; the last thing I want is to lose my grip on the here and now.