#122018

Today is a better day for me. I woke up early thinking about him once again and it was then that I realized that I didn’t say my prayers last night. I woke up asking for his forgiveness. I am so thankful that the Lord doesn’t hold grudges. 

When I woke thinking of him, I wondered if he was thinking of me too. I thought about this for about 2 hours. I then proceeded to look up things that would hopefully help me get over you. I wanted to snoop on your social media, but I knew it wouldn’t change anything. I knew even if you did want to be with me that it wouldn’t work out because some things aren’t meant to be. 

I found myself getting busy after thinking about you. Distracting my mind with things that would make me happy. Things that would make me, myself again. I know it probably sounds stupid. Sometimes I know it to be true. I found myself wondering if I had done something, one thing differently what would the outcome be? Would it be different? Would I be dragging out something longer than it should have been? I found myself thinking deeper (which seems to be my downfall in life)

What if I already drug it longer than it needed to be? What if he was really only suppose to be in my life for a season? What if, by thinking and trying to be with him that I lost my chance at true love? What if the time I used was wasted by negligence and stubbornness to make something fit that wasn’t suppose to? What if it was all for nothing?

I hope we wont regret things in the future.

As long as you’re happy, i’ll be happy.