#11x08

was thinking about sam & loneliness this morning which naturally led me to 11x08 and i wonder what sam did when that hunt was over and they (likely) went back to their usual pattern of leaving him behind. since he did genuinely think he was imaginary until 11x08, i like to think that he spent the first couple days alone trying to figure out how to “reimagine” him before he gave up — picturing him sitting in an empty motel room with his eyes closed really tight trying to picture sully appearing in front of him and forgiving him and then he cracks one eye open to see if it works and he’s still alone and he starts tearing up

If Sully knew everything Sam did and everything that happened to him, did he mourn him everytime he died?, did he feel his sadness and grief everytime Dean died?, did he feel guilty everytime Sam died because he didn't convince him to drop hunting?, did he regret not having a better goodbye?, not talking to him again?