#11thdr

             It’s a smile edged by painful awareness  ––  THE   𝕀ℕ𝔼𝕍𝕀𝕋𝔸𝔹𝕀𝕃𝕀𝕋𝕐   OF   𝙳𝙸𝚂𝙸𝙻𝙻𝚄𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃.  Either his trust of her good-heartedness, or her faith in him; couldn’t be sure which.  She’d been led down the road before; believing in something, someone, the sanctity and wonder of a construct.  She felt like such a complete idiot right now.  [   𝖧𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍, 𝗈𝖿 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾.  ]   Growing darkness;  it wasn’t lost on her, nor a secret, that she’d been sinking a long while, regardless of how often she fought to dig herself out.

              It was not soil, not rock which covered her, but a viscous tar which made it impossible to grasp at the edges. She couldn’t pull herself back up if she tried.  As she stared on towards him, a pang of hurt ringing throughout herself, she could feel her own lack of control as she spoke  ––  throwing words out like knives, which was oft her inclination. Make it hurt, and make them leave.  ❝ I really –– thought you’d get it. ❞   The words sting, each one, and she finds herself forced to avert her gaze, an overwhelming sensation of dread taking hold in the base of her stomach. 

-` ─ !   (             mary    janes    carry    wispy    frame    toward    gawky    figure    with    careless    steps.    the    mock    of    a    mission    she’s    decided    to    play    out    is    half    baked    at    best    ;    interrogative    queries    are    queued    up    &    settled    on    dainty    shoulders.  DESTINATION  REACHED,    she    idles    a    moment    before    tapping    on    gap    manager’s    sleeve    with    the    unbridled    &    unearned    confidence    of   someone    with     reason    to    question.                ❛❛  WHAT’S  WITH  THE  BOWTIE.  ❜❜

               She waits. Pressing a button here & there, nothing to cause any damage but just enough to keep her fingers busy. She needs busy; if she’s not busy she’ll start rattling off. Her mouth has a mind of it’s own really. It just goes and goes and goes – without any direction at all from her. Can’t get it shut up most days; even when she wants it to. Today, she’s working    EXTRA HARD.    Because she’s waiting. Every second that ticks by is being carefully accounted for ( and making her a teeny, tiny bit terrified all at the same time ). He’s never been quiet this long, not that she can remember. Not when he knows she’s right there,watching him   ( big brown eyes fixated on his every move; because he’s fluid in his own clumsiness, something she’s come to admire and she looks forward to the way he twirls through the air ).

               The seconds continue to fly by, each one seeming    LONGER    than the first though she knows that’s not possible. It’s hard to imagine anything’s impossible now ( she’s seen so much, touched so many stars & planets;    LIVED SO MANY LIVES   ). But there he is, proving once again that there’s SO MUCH left in the universe that she doesn’t understand. Maybe she’s not meant to. Maybe The Doctor isn’t for her to understand. Or maybe —— she’s just asking the wrong questions.

                                            ❝  So are you going to tell me WHERE WE’RE GOING? ❞

  it’s  true  she  doesn’t  sleep  well  anymore ,  her  eyes  forced  open  by  questions  tilling  her  mind .  she’s  got  too  much  to  wonder  about ,  too  much  that  still  needs  thinking  about ,  too  much  haunting  an  already  distraught  mind .  she’s  only  become  more  and  more  intense ,  humor  filling  out  and  stringing  thin .  her  jaw  held  tightly  in  place ,  she  thinks  of  an  answer  that  will  satisfy  the  question .   ❝   all  the  things  i  don’t  know  yet ,  i  guess .   ❞    too  many  questions  for  one  person  to  ask . she  wishes  she  new  content  in  her  place  of  the universe , that  she  didn’t  need  answers .  

keaton henson sentences.  ( + accepting! )

They roll their eyes. Big. Big, big eye roll. How’s that for stillness?

          “Oh, go on then, do a jig, if you want to see some movement. Better yet, find us a way out of here. That’ll get all kinds of parts of me going.”