#11.6.24

1 * 1 * 6 = 2 + 4

Also:

1 + 1 + 6 = 2 * 4

Also:

last night, we fought for 5 hours. she kept getting escalated off everything i said and continuously had trouble validating me. i had to beg for validation so many times.

it’s not fair to me to go through this. it’s not fair for me to be gaslit and deprived validation. it’s not fair for me to fight with this version of her; when the later version is going to agree that i’m right.

i just don’t deserve this. and i love her so much, it will never be a lack of loving her. but i have to love myself enough to know when enough is enough.

i told myself during the next explosive fight i would be done. and here we are again.

does she really believe that everything i said in every different topic of conversation was somehow wrong? to the point of raising her voice at me? how is it that i manage to say something wrong on every subject? is there no validity to the fact that maybe she’s sensitive right now because her period is about to start and it’s not me at all?

i honestly give up. i can’t do it any more. and ive never said that before but i really can’t even try.