#081915

My sister asked me if we spoke every single day and I said no. I didn’t go into further detail but I was inwardly laughing because most of our text message conversations are funny pictures, quotes from Game Grumps or overall dumb things to say to each other. And it made me realize something.

In the past, I really did not know what a best friend really was all about. My first “best friend” kind of manipulated me into always being with her, even though I wanted to play with the other kids but they didn’t want to play with her. And I felt bad for her so I stuck by her. She called me her best friend and I always thought best friends clung on to each other and if they don’t immediately show their friendship, the best friendship was gone.

And most of the close friendships I made followed this trend, mainly with Jess and Becka. You know how clingy Jess is and how she needs to be constantly reassured that things are all right. I don’t blame her, her life revolves around trust issues. Jess was first and it further cemented the constant connection in order to be best friends. And then it almost permanently cemented with Becka.

Then you came along. We didn’t start immediately as close friends, more like a semi-friend where we saw each other every school day and talked to each other in Choir but past that, nothing. You didn’t seem special or unique or someone I would get close to so I was very passive about you.

This past year, we became supremely close. I began to see you in a completely whole different light and we bonded over some things. We then shared a mutual agreement that we were indeed best friends. And you kind of broke that whole “constant talking and connection” I had with previous friendships.

And I began to doubt if we even were best friends. We talked every day, both Gov and Choir, texted each other on weekends. After school ended, we didn’t talk to each other every single day. And I became concerned and worried and I was vocal about it and talked to you about it. It was a couple weeks after Jess freaked out us “abandoning her” at Grad Night. She kind of infected me and I doubted the authenticity of our relationship.

But you reassured me, really reassured me. I was somewhat satisfied with what you told me, though I can’t remember what you did tell me. And somehow, you know how to read me and when I need to rant or something. Or when I’m in a little bit of a mood.

So I have that brewing in my mind and I’m texting you funny Game Grumps shit I’m finding and then we have this conversation.

Me: Do you find it weird if you don’t talk to a person every single day if you’re close friends?

You: Not really

Me: I wish more people were like that.

You: What’s on your mind?

Me: My sis asked if we talked every day and I said no. And you’re one of the only friendships I have where neither of us is really doubting our closeness based on how frequently we talk.

You: Dude. It doesn’t matter as long as we remember and care. That’s what a friend is. I ain’t forgetting about you anytime soon.

Me: I hope so, because I’m not forgetting you.