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Journal entries from exactly one year ago. Day 5 in Cambodia +little snippets from other days. Other entries were too personal but… this captures a tiny little fragment.
It’s amazing to think a year has passed already. To think of all the things that have changed and happened..
Didn’t want to let this day pass without remembering.
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Been a while
So it’s been a while since I’ve written anything on here, but isn’t that how it always goes? I get so wrapped up in life that I forget to take a step back and breathe. Well I’m breathing now, slightly better than I was before. As every day goes by I learn a little something new. And lately I’ve been learning about life and love and that I can’t give up on either just because someone else doesn’t understand the way I see them.
“It’s not about what you gain, it’s about what you give.” You have to love people, all people. No conditions attached and no wondering whether or not they’re worthy of it. Some people don’t understand that, but me, I know it all too well. I fall in love with people so fast and so hard. I care for people and I feel what they’re feeling. I know I shouldn’t. I know I should look out for myself, protect myself, but that’s no way to live - always on the defense and never giving people a chance. Maybe I’m naive, maybe I’ll get hurt, but if giving my love and lending an ear could make even the slightest difference then I don’t care how crazy it seems.
Cross oceans; climb mountains.
Today is unfortunate
tren
Araw araw, ako'y sumasakay ng tren. Bagama't siksikan at madalas ay hindi ganoon kalamig, okay lang dahil ako'y makakarating din naman sa aking paroroonan ng mabilis at walang traffic. Naisip ko lang, kung nandito ka kaya sa loob ng tren na sinasakyan ko ngayon, mapapalapit na ba ako sayo? Yung lapit na ramdam mo sa buong katawan. Yung lapit na makakarating din ako sa iyong isipan. Yung lapit na nakakasakal, nakakabagabag. Siguro kung kaharap lang kita ngayon, sa loob ng tren na 'to, baka magpatulak na lang ako kay manong na nasa likod ko para mas mapalapit pa sayo. O kung kaharap kita ngayon, maaari ba kitang titigan hanggang sa bumaba ka na sa iyong stasyon? Yung titig na sisilip sa iyong kaluluwa, yung titig na gustong magsawa sa iyong mga mata. Kung kasalanan lang ang tumitig sa isang tao, marahil makasalanan nga ako at nararapat na parusahan mo. Para ka kasing cheese stick sa dapitan na nakaka-adik, parang ilovemilktea na tig-singkwenta pesos na nakakapanabik. Parang isang drogang hindi ko mahindian sa tuwing nakahain sa aking harapan. Siguro kung kaharap man kita ngayon, dadamhin ko ang bawat sandali. Sapagkat dito ko na lamang magagawa ang aking mga nais. Sa bawat stasyon, sa bawat pagtigil, ipagdadasal ko na lamang na huwag kang umalis. Dahil ang pagsakay sa tren na ito ay tila isang panaginip. Masaya habang nandyan, mapait sa kalaunan.
05.30.16
So this is the last 1 day of may and I wanted to do something very great before June kicks in and I am rely scared for the first day of school. Cause I know I can go with my new classmates. But I'll try my best to go with them and of course not forgetting to love myself and excel in class. So today we had our brigada and it sucks we just register and there's a program then cleaning the whole campus. Like what?! And I really felt uncomfortable with my classmates I dont want to be with them. Thats for all.
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It's 4:30am
and I need to sleep
how do i tell everyone on twitter that my shitty tweets about love aren’t about my ex and not to worry about me im just gay a lot and often
i wanna use every language i know to call u mine
