#02-2022

you're possessed, look this child in the eyes.

there's something dark in you.

look this child in the eyes.

tell it.

as you twist this child's skin, as you dig your fingers into its flesh, look it in the eyes, and tell it.

you have something very dark inside you.

you're dirty within.

pray over this broken babe, atonement for your sins, a burden unladen unto you. this little life. drown it's head in blessed water and stick needles in it like a doll. a small, aching thing.

look this child in the eyes.

look. it. in. its. eyes.

if you have to turn it by its chin, if you have to pry them open, if you have to move to catch it or take up its entire field of view.

pierce it's eardrums, dig your shrillest in and twist it.

look it in the eyes, cut through them. and tell it.

hold it's fluttering hands still. tamp down a bobbing knee. still the rocking. force a tolerance (numbness. disconnect.) if you cut it out from it's body, this too is an exorcism.

too old for it's age.

this means: too much pain for such a small body.

it means: a child blind to other children.

it means: too much and too little, always off beat.

you've always been a bit haunted.

she said

you've always been a bit haunted.

maybe

i'm on your porch. sitting obedient, tail down. whining to let you know i don't care.

i wanna grip your face in my hands and yell that you're losing me, force you to pretend like its not on purpose, just one last time.

Do you even say it for a laugh anymore? Or just because you can. Because you didn't notice, but at some point, you just started liking the way it felt when i let you speak to me like that and you meant it.

I'm not your mutt.

i'm an arrow from the forest, spearhead mouth and forward eyes. i carry parasites and pests and death. i drop them at your door.

i flash something double from the treeline.

i'm a howl in the night.

your walls and windows leach heat, is all. you shouldn't feed it. you shouldn't crouch down, offering your hand just to see. if you want something tame, you get something tamed, because i won't step in the same snare twice, you hear me? and you're begging to be bitten like you haven't before.