#0138

Most Beloved Wrestler Tournament

you know i never got the chance to tell you a little story about yourself and how much you always managed to remind me about the little things. don’t worry things won’t always be like this. they say that we have bad days, so that we can fully appreciate the tiny moments of a good or great day— do you believe that to be true? as of late, i’ve been hearing you cry over the phone. i never really understood how love can cause pain or is it the other way around? are we in constant pain, so we search for love? to know that this unending and unyielding loneliness is instantly suffocated once lips show us how to breathe while we’re underwater and how the air is just another way to captivate the time— we’re trapped, aren’t we? we cannot escape from who we are at the core, things that i love about you. they always remind me of water. soothing and calm, a quiet pond when it’s just you and i. raging and destructive, a flood of fears when we’re not around one another. directionally confused, but always moving forward, there’s a legend of a koi fish becoming a dragon if it reaches upstream— all of my dreams start at the bottom of a lake, inside of a chest that’s not full of gold. it’s full of the wishes that you’ve made. it’s full of the pondering that we’ve done together. it’s full of the ways that i will continue to love you for— the person that you are, not the person that you can no longer be for me because of the simple thing like i’ll be leaving you a little too soon. do you believe in coincidences? is everything happening by accident? was any of this meant to be real? sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and as i still have my eyes close and you’re by the phone— it creates multitudes upon multitudes of ripples through my mind and i can see the same shared sky inside the reflection of my eyes and this almost always happens when i envision a future with you. i believe they call this an out of body experience, i call it forbidden love. they call this young love, i call it fortitude. you call this longing, i call this meeting the right person at the wrong time. for all of the things that i’ve been feeling in the back of my mind and the front of my heart— my dear lotus flower, you’ve been drifting afloat these seven seas and i don’t see where i belong in all of this.

0138 - Omanyte

April 06 - Impulse Voices - Plini

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