sexiest skipper, 100%💜

avlmci | premier league | 01.12.2021

Whew. What an intense past few days. Work has been totally out of control — lots of problems and trying to solve them all. Everyone else is crossing their fingers that our current system issues get resolved before I go out on leave. Me? I’m counting the days. 😏 let’s go, baby.

Major food update: I tried making short ribs in the Dutch oven for the first time ever and it was LIFE CHANGING. I’ve never done short ribs before but wow. I used Chrissy Teigan’s recipe for braised short ribs (below) and I cannot recommend it enough. I already can’t wait to make it again.

Meanwhile, Callie has been keeping a close eye on me and is super helpful with my work. She basically sits on top of me all the time now. She has stepped on her baby-brother-to-be multiple times.

Oh! We also got the bassinet/pack and play assembled and in place! Sleeping next to the bassinet makes it, like... the most real. Holy shit you guys. Speaking of: I had my weekly appointment today (I’ll be 38 weeks tomorrow!) and the baby is all good, doing great in there. However my BP is hovering a bit high and they’re talking about inducing me sometime in week 39 as a result. Like. As in between next week and the following. Again, I say: holy shit you guys.

Oh honey the Hare family loves Pauli, Pauli must be the kids godfather😉

At ayun nga, pasimula na for next project, but still I will look for work.  Why not?  May gusto akong pag ipunan :D

Patapos na yung current project namin, at ayun thank God, pasimula naman yung next project: magpapaka-good samaritan kami, pero in a dummy facebook account. Wew ang weird lang kasi, I don’t know, may trabaho pala talaga na ganito, and nag e-exist?  I’m still asking myself how this would work.  Para kaming secret spies sa ilang facebook groups :D

Stock market seems good, hindi ko lang matutukan.  Yung Globe, umiiyak na naman sa bagal hahaha. Wew...

speaking of bagal, I am now currently typing this on Jan 14, so ayun, nagpakabusy ng konti.  Hindi pa ako nakakapag upload sa Youtube.

May the Lord give me courage para bitawan na yung instagram ko na puro kalaswaan ang pinagpa-follow.  Gusto ko maging tapat para sa minamahal ko :) Pero dapat maging tapat muna ako sa Diyos :)

watching riley rehl’s “traveling across the country to visit a boy” vlog and kjdjksjs as much as i want to genuinely say na #noboys2021 pero AAAAAAAAA whenever i watch vlogs like these or see posts on fb, ganyan :((( napapatanong na lang ako na “what’s wrong with me?” or “pangit ba talaga ako?” ayun nasasad lang ako tbh, kaya feeling ko rin kaya ako workaholic so that i won’t feel too lonely jjdklsdk anyways enough with the sadness kjsjjkdj hay sobrang gutom na me at 1:22 am!!!! pero syempre diet mode pa rin kasi i have goals before my bday 

really tired from that workout, and mental gymnastics ng ba 181!! so i won’t write too long na, and feed my sad thoughts!! kasi most of the time i know na it’s just my brain hating me, period hormones, or both. 

sobrang saya ko kanina na ako ung highest!! from the exam i took for 9 hrs!!! and sure nang uno ung ba 115 huhuhu msksd pero after nun, napatanong na naman ako bigla na para san ba tong ginagawa ko?? para san ba to lahat?? HAHAHAHAHAHAH ksdksdj na why do i aim for high grades always?? na bakit gusto ko mag magna? na kanino ko ba talaga prinoproove sarili ko?? na palagi bang dapat may purpose lahat ng bagay? or okay lang naman na wala and just do the things i do because i genuinely like doing them?? 

in addition (HAHAHA kaka-essay ko na ata to), hanggang kailan ko kaya sasanayin ang sarili kong maging mapag-isa, hanggang kailan ko kaya lulunurin sarili ko sa trabaho para ‘di ko maramdaman na may kulang sakin? 

alam ko naman talaga na walang kulang, na nalulungkot lang ako, at alam ko rin na kailangan ko pang pangalagaan at pagdaanan ang pag-iisa kasi sobrang dami kong matututunan at natututunan!! and actually i’m all for it -- being genuinely independent. di ko lang talaga alam kung hanggang kailan?? na makakahanap kaya ako ng taong magmamahal sakin ng way na deserve ko? :(( na meron din kayang nakalaan para sakin?? na matututo din kaya akong magmahal? :(( 

haha i really want to cry, not because i’m sad, but because the answer to these questions might not be the things i hope for, and that will break my heart.

siguro di genuine ung #noboys2021 ko, pero one thing’s for sure tho-- is that no boys muna uli na legit, until what we both want is real :(( and imposible pa talaga to have that in this environment, so another full year of being alone and learning and growing!!! i genuinely just want to know if there’s someone that exist, only for me. sabi kasi ni tin nun, feel niya raw real ung destiny, eh ako i think i don’t believe in that na, and what i believe in is that you should be committed in making things work :))), growing together, and just overall making each other the best version of themselves. I really hope to have that, someday. 

anyways some milestones na i want to remember this week (which is genuinely bakit dapat ako nagsusulat ngayon jsdksjd pero naging rant fest na lang hahahah) 

1. overworked myself last week,which paid off -- twio mistakes lang sa ba 115 and di ako nadeduct for my late submissions sa work!! i think madami pa dapat akong need ayusin uli by the next po :(( sana bigyan pa ako uli pls!!

2. spontaneous roadtrip with elem friends!! roundtrip sa tagaytay nung bday ni james!! 

one for the books tbh, feel ko kung nakakausap ko lang din sila ng maayos, mas masaya ako kasi ganun talaga akong tao, like i feed off from genuinely talking from people, ung mga deep talks, ganyan!! pero i think i also learned na rin na elem friends are not those kind of people lang, 

3. wala na ako nafifeel for him at all!! na feel ko nasa pt na kami nang friendship where we can both laugh abt it na lang hehe as in gusto ko na shang tanungin bat di nya ako jinowa smh HAHAHA 

4. wala na rin akong nafifeel kay francis HAHAHAHHAHA ew @ me bat di ka makamove on don!! di naman sobrang pogi!! paasa pa, maganda ka pls period!!

5. less screen time in social media!!! after talaga ng sem na to bye everyone muna, magrerevel lang ako in cooking, baking, cross-stitching, music, and hopefully vlogging and editing!!

6. was able to do a new channel for youtube!! kaya kaya 1k subs by the end of the year? ;)) 

anyways thank u for listening to my ramblings!! i am so tired, i think i need to sleep na talaga kjdklsj and fix my sleeping time ++ finish my last requirement by tom!! good night, i love u!!