#000007

Contents : Ink Sans fictive. Disclaimer : Stolen from our terminal.

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I mix 'neath sunlight turned to rain

the perfect blend of warmth and pain

apply to the wound, but just a drop

if we add too much the blood will stop

the ache in you hurts more than mine

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Okay, there’s really only one reason why I haven’t been writing much. It’s because I sorta kinda maybe got addicted to a certain WLW pairing and I’m sorta kinda maybe spending all my free time tweeting and blogging about them. I know it’s nothing to be proud of, but collectively the fandom has achieved so much. I am proud of us, but I’m definitely not proud that I let this fangirling thing get in the way of my schooling (I know I haven’t been reading any of my assigned readings). 

But I swear I got more out of it than I lost. Firstly, I met new friends (internet friends, but friends nonetheless). Three months ago, my twitter account was lifeless. Nobody really talked to me because I wasn’t in any single fandom; I was anywhere and everywhere. But now I talk to so many different people about so many different things, and it feels nice to have some internet friends for once. (Hey, not that I don’t appreciate my irl friends. It’s just that, with internet friends I feel that there’s less expectation, like showing up.)

Secondly, being in this fandom has kind of gotten me outside my shell a little bit. I don’t usually share so much of my life with people I haven’t met in person, and I’m not nearly as goofy with them as I am with my friends irl. I don’t know. It feels like I re-learned how to communicate with people that aren’t my long-time friends. 

Lastly, I’m actually genuinely spending more time reading the books I said I would read. I met (well, online) this person who reads books I read (I haven’t met a single person who reads the same books I do) and we talk a lot about them. It’s nice having somebody to talk to about these books. It motivates me to read more. And even though it’s technically leisure reading, I consider this a plus because I’ve been trying so hard to achieve my 2019 goal of reading 12 books. I’m a couple books behind. 

 Anyway, that’s that. I can’t really promise that I won’t be spending any more time fangirling about this certain pairing, but I can promise that from now on I will be more mindful about my time and that I won’t push aside my academics. Wish me luck on that promise, I might need it. 

Cheers,