#*tib

Dev's mom had called him twelve times in the last twenty minutes, and Dev had answered zero times. He couldn't stomach the idea of speaking to her. After a while he'd decided to turn off his phone, knowing with relative certainty that Isaac would never call him.

His feet were worn and tired from walking, leg muscles aching with every step. Dev hardly felt it, focused solely on the road ahead of him as he turned towards the grassy path that led to the old Stevens’ fishing shack. He didn’t pay attention to anything around him, mind only focused on one thing. Later, Dev would undoubtedly be angry with Isaac for making him walk all the way to the docks. For now, he just wanted to see him.

Pushing the door open to see the empty fishing shack ahead of him, Dev feared for a brief moment that he might have mistaken the symbol on Isaac’s note. Besides the lines of old fish barrels and crates of supplies, the fishing shack looked completely empty. There wasn’t even a boat tied to the dock. The floorboards creaked below his feet as Dev slowly walked down to the dock, eyes wide and searching.

“B-Bird?” His hesitant voice echoed through the empty wooden shack.

Dev heard footsteps behind him. He twisted, tense, stumbling back as a hand reached out to grab him. Too fast, too slow. The other person was on him in an instant, wrapping their arms around Dev and pulling him in for a—

A hug.

Familiar brown curls pressed against Dev’s cheek as the boy pulled himself close against Dev’s chest. Isaac. Dev hugged back immediately, fingers digging into the fabric of Isaac’s shirt and pulling him as close as he possibly could. 

“Are you okay? W-why did you—I was scared you’d left.”

Isaac didn’t really respond, only tightened the hug. Dev held him, resting his head on Isaac’s shoulder and slowly moving his hands up and down Isaac’s back. Dev could feel Isaac shake. He’s crying, Dev realized, feeling tears stain his shirt. 

“I’m okay, Fishbones,” Isaac mumbled, voice raw. The nickname made Dev laugh, but it came out as little more than a choked cry.

The two boys stood for a moment, wrapped up in each other as neither really wanted to move. Dev wasn’t sure what was going to happen after this—how they would solve it—and all he wanted to do was hold Isaac for a little longer. In that moment, Isaac was the only other thing in the world that existed, and everything else seemed to simply fall away.

Dev hadn’t even noticed that someone else had walked into the shack.

“H-hello?”

Dev and Isaac both jumped, letting go of each other and turning towards the door to see Sam Brown, little and shaking, with his hands awkwardly wringing together in front of his chest. He wasn’t carrying any weapons, at least not as far as Dev could see, but that didn’t stop Isaac from stepping in front of Dev and shielding the boy with his own body.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Isaac asked before Dev even had the chance to. Sam didn’t look at Isaac, instead twisting his head to look past him, directly at Dev. Sam looked terrified. Not just of Isaac, but terrified in general.

“I, uh. I followed you here. Sorry. But I come in peace, I think,” Sam said, eyes still on Dev. He tried to take a hesitant step forward, but stopped himself when Isaac stepped forward as well. 

“You think?” Isaac bit at him.

Sam let out a shaky breath before nodding his head, eyes shifting between Isaac and the floor. “No—yeah, I do. I’m sure. I owe it to Rachel.”

Isaac and Dev watched as Sam fumbled with his hands, not daring to take a step forward. Dev reached out to hold Isaac’s hand, and Isaac squeezed him with his own.

“Something happened between them, Scott and Rachel, and she—Scott was gonna get in trouble, and he didn’t want that, so…” Sam fell silent for a moment. “I didn’t want to. You have to believe that. I didn’t want to help him, but he’s—I had to. He would’ve killed me too, you know.”

Dev’s hand had slipped from Isaac’s, both boys nailed to the floor as they attempted to understand everything Sam was saying. He was accusing Scott Hayes—his best friend, Rachel’s boyfriend—of murder. 

“What about the note?” Dev asked, a little breathless. “The magazine. I saw you.”

Sam nodded. “We were there that night, a-and we didn’t want to get caught, so…” Isaac took a step towards Sam, hands balled into fists. Sam raised his hands in defense, stumbling back a few steps. “It was all Scott’s idea, I swear!”

“Bullshit,” Isaac snapped at him.

“I’m telling the truth! Rachel wanted to go to the police, and Scott just wanted to shut her up!” Sam fell quiet suddenly, and something heavy dropped to the bottom of Dev’s stomach. He could see it in Isaac as well. The tension released in his shoulders and his head rose slightly, breath audibly catching in his throat. They were both thinking it, but neither of them dared to say it out loud.

“Scott promised me he wouldn’t—told me he hadn’t,” Sam told them with tears in his eyes. “So I helped him. I never wanted any of this. I-it all got out of hand, and—”

The door of the shack swung open before Sam could say another word. He turned and stumbled backwards, into Isaac, almost making all three boys fall over. Dev looked past Isaac to see a person standing in the door frame. He recognized the blue football jersey and the spiky blond hair in an instant. His heart dropped at the sight of Scott Hayes, scowling as he looked at the three boys in front of him. His hands were holding onto a tire iron, knuckles white from the tightness of the grip.

Dev’s stomach turned at the sight of Scott. What would he do? Call the cops? Fight them? He wondered if Scott had followed him as well, if he’d led Scott right to Isaac without even noticing it. It felt like this was the end for them, and all of it would be Dev’s fault.

“So, what’re you faggots doing here?” 

Instinctively, Dev reached out for Isaac, who held out his arm to shelter Dev at almost the exact same moment. Scott frowned for a moment before his eyes widened, a mocking laugh escaping him. “I was fuckin’ kidding, but you two are actual fags, huh? Who would’a thought. You wanna tell me somethin’ too, Sammy?”

Sam shook his head, shuffling back another few inches. The three boys were practically out on the dock now, with no way to escape past Scott. Dev could feel Isaac wanting to step forwards, but Dev held him back with a tight pull on his arm. Everything was happening far too fast, and he needed Isaac close to hold onto him.

“Well, I guess the two of you did a good job. Cops been lookin’ for him all day, and here he is,” Scott nodded his head towards Isaac. “Guess we’ll hand him over and we can all go home nice and easy, right?”

“We’re not going anywhere with you,” Isaac answered. His voice was tense, and while Dev couldn’t see his face he could tell Isaac was clenching his jaw. “Not after the shit you did to Rachel.”

The smile melted off Scott’s face, eyes shifting towards Sam. He took a step forward, raising the iron in his hands slightly, attention locked on Sam.

“Sammy, what did you do?”

“N-nothing,” Sam said, stumbling back as Scott approached him. He was basically pressing against Isaac now, but Isaac refused to give way. If anything, Dev felt as if Isaac wanted Scott to come closer. He wanted the opportunity to fight the other boy.

Scott raised the metal rod higher, and Isaac pulled his hand out of Dev’s grip.

“Scott, please,” Sam pleaded. “I’m your friend, man. W-we can just go, right?”

“No, we can’t,” Scott replied immediately, eyes shifting towards Dev and Isaac. “‘Cause you had to go and tell these fuckin’ queers everything. You did this with me, Sammy. We’re both goin’ down for this shit.”

Too fast. It all happened too fast for Dev to stop any of it. In one single moment, Isaac shoved Sam past Scott onto the floor, taking a swing at Scott at the same time that the other boy swung the iron down hard against the side of Isaac’s head. It cracked against his skull, and with a painful thud Isaac landed onto the wooden floor, unmoving.

Dev screamed loud and pained, the sound of it echoing out across the lake behind him. Water rushed back into his lungs, choking the cry that threatened to spill out of him. He rushed to grab Isaac, but was stopped by the tire iron pressing into the center of his stomach.

“Nuh-uh,” Scott warned him with a growl. 

“Please,” Dev choked out. He could hardly breathe now, the burning in his lungs too painful. He tried to breathe—in, hold, one, two, three, out—but it wasn’t working. All he could see was Isaac’s lifeless body on the ground. It couldn’t end like this.

“All you had to do was shut up,” Scott mumbled, eyes on the horizon behind Dev. “Let sleepin’ fishes lie, or whatever. All anyone ever had to do was shut up! Sam, Rachel…”

Dev was standing on the edge of the dock now, heels hanging over the edge as Scott continued to press against his chest. All Dev could think of was Rachel. Her gray cold skin, her open mouth, the caved-in side of her head. The way she hadn’t seemed entirely real to him. Would Dev look like that when he died? All pale and unreal?

He couldn’t think of it. It felt like giving up, and he owed it to himself and Isaac to not give up just yet. More than anyone, he owed it to Rachel. Owed it to her to not let Scott get away with what he’d done.

“Scott,” Dev attempted, trying to calm both the other boy and himself. “Everything can still be fine. Please. I-I don’t know what happened but, we can work it out. We can. You just have to let us fix—”

“Just shut up!” Scott raised his hands again and swung down hard. Dev didn’t feel the tire iron hit him. Didn’t hear the crack. Didn’t feel himself falling over. Hardly even felt himself hitting the water. All he felt were Scott’s hands as they wrapped around his shoulders, pushing him down into the water. He could barely even fight back, his panic only causing him to inhale wave after wave of salt marsh water. Everything turned black around him, and the feeling of Scott’s hands finally disappeared. 

It didn’t matter much. Dev couldn’t move. All he could do was feel the water rushing into his lungs, a cold burn spreading from his chest to every inch of his body.

___

Drowning is supposed to be the most peaceful way to die. According to some people, anyway. After experiencing too much pain the brain supposedly shuts down, and you stop feeling anything. The lights simply go out, and it’s all over.

Dev was inclined to disagree.

When he woke up, the first thing he noticed was that everything hurt. 

The second was that something was pressing on his legs.

Dev gasped, hard and painful, jolting upright in the bed he’d been laying in. Something was tied around his arm, and though his vision was blurry he could immediately tell he was somewhere entirely unfamiliar. The room around him was a stark white, with bright lights burning his blurry vision. Hospital, he realized, feeling the wires around his arms and chest. This calmed him somewhat, but not nearly enough.

“Hey, hey,” A worried voice called out, and the weight was lifted off of Dev’s legs. He blinked roughly a few times to see a figure reaching towards him. Dev couldn’t help but panic again, unable to breathe as he pushed himself to sit up straight. Still, the figure leaned forward, putting a hand on Dev’s arm. “Hey, you’re okay. Breathe for me, yeah?”

The voice was soft and a little raw and all too familiar. When he blinked again, he looked into two warm brown eyes, and he finally allowed himself to take a deep breath. Isaac was smiling, but his tear-stained face betrayed him. Dev fell forward into Isaac’s arms as his breathing turned into sobs, crying into Isaac’s shoulder. Isaac wrapped his arms around Dev as tightly as he dared, holding one hand onto the back of Dev’s head to pull him even closer.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Isaac kept whispering, and for the first time Dev truly believed him. They were both alive, and together. After everything, that was all that really mattered. When he finally felt like he could take it, Dev leaned back to look at Isaac.

“Hey Fishbones,” Isaac told him with a teary smile, placing a hand on Dev’s cheek.

“Hey Bird,” Dev responded, unable to smile back at him. There was a bandage wrapped around Isaac’s head, dark curls poking out from under it. Despite the bandage, Dev could still see the bright purple that surrounded what had to be a painful head injury.

“You should be in one of these.” Dev nodded his head towards the hospital bed.

“Nah.” Isaac leaned his head against Dev’s. “I don’t wanna be anywhere you’re not.”

It would be so easy to kiss him. Right there, in a place where anyone could see him. The idea should have terrified Dev. Months ago, it would have. But as he leaned in, he realized he no longer cared who saw them.

He could feel Isaac smile against his lips before kissing back, softly pressing his lips against Dev’s. Somewhere in the back of his mind a million questions were itching to be answered. He wanted to know who saved him, what had happened to Scott and Sam, and what would happen to him and Isaac. He dreaded explaining everything to his family, and even more so dreaded explaining everything to the police.

Still, all of that could wait.

For now, he was alive, and he was kissing the boy he loved. The whole world could crash around him and Dev probably wouldn’t have cared. It would most likely do so, but for now he didn’t feel the need to even worry about it.

For now, they were finally okay.

___

A day later, the body had been reported missing. Her name was Rachel Davis, and knowing that had made everything worse. Dev knew of her, but he’d never really known her. She was the girlfriend of Scott Hayes, one of the football players Dev worked hard to avoid. After the news, Scott became the center of attention—even more so than usual—and would talk about Rachel almost constantly. Dev had almost felt sorry for Scott, until he remembered what an insufferable asshole Scott was. Still, he felt sorry for Rachel, and that was far worse.

Thinking of her made Dev sick to his stomach. He constantly heard her muffled underwater screaming, felt the burn of water in his lungs, the taste of salt on the back of his throat. He hardly slept, eyes sunken and dull, and he had become even more quiet than usual. It would have drowned him, if it hadn’t been for Isaac keeping him afloat.

They hadn’t exactly become friends, but against his own better judgment Isaac had stopped trying to distance himself from Dev. Mostly because Dev wouldn’t exactly let him. Being near Isaac made Dev feel safe for reasons he couldn’t even explain to himself. 

It was a good feeling, but it wasn’t enough. Rachel's killer was out there, and Dev still couldn't sleep because of it.

“Devin?”

Shit. Dev quickly tried to play off the fact that he had been falling asleep at his desk.

“Yes, sorry, present. Hi,” He looked right at his biology teacher, Mrs. Paulson. Her face was creased with disappointment, and it twisted Dev’s gut. He liked biology, and the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint the teacher who had repeatedly and explicitly told him that he was her favorite student.

“You okay?” The boy next to him, Sam Brown, asked. Dev knew Sam, though admittedly not very well. He was the mascot of the Windfield Trouts, their high school football team. He was scrawny and small, and certainly the most disarming member of the team. He was one of the few people in school that Dev could handle being around.

“Y-yeah. Sorry,” Dev mumbled. “I’m usually a bit more, uh, present.”

“I know,” Sam replied with an awkward laugh. “That’s why I like sitting next to you.”

Dev didn’t respond, instead staring at Sam until he turned away again.

I’m being weird. Shit. Dev knew he was doing the wrong thing. He needed to be normal, and present, and not raise any suspicions. If anything, he needed to be able to pretend. It’s what Isaac had told him to do. Don’t let them know something’s wrong. 

A normal Dev would pay attention during class. He’d answer questions, listen to instructions, and make notes. Just be normal, his own thoughts echoed, even though they sounded suspiciously like Isaac now. Just be normal, and everything will be fine.

A bit too late Dev realized he'd forgotten his pencil case at home.

"Uh, Sam?" He asked in a whisper. Sam looked over, one eyebrow raised in a question. "Can I borrow a pen?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure," He smiled, showing off a row of crooked, yellowed teeth, and bent down to pick up his bag. Dev watched as he zipped it open, digging his hand in to take out a worn-down pencil case, the front of his bag sagging down slightly. Dev could see the corner of a People magazine peeking out at him, though there was something off about it. 

The letter o had been cut out from it.

When the bell rang Dev fled the classroom before Paulson could talk to him. She probably wanted to ask him what was wrong, and Dev wasn’t even really sure where to start. Paulson was smart. Dev would never be able to think of a lie smart enough to convince her.

He kept his head down, hands wound tightly around the straps of his backpack, as he rushed through the school hallways. He wanted to—needed to—leave. He needed to be home, or maybe even further away. Away from this shitty town and its horrible people. Even as he walked out onto the quiet parking lot, Dev's mind was still screaming at him.

He could see the flattened back tire from a distance, and the screaming only got louder. The back tire of his bike had been slashed.

Someone had cut his tire. Not someone. Sam Brown had cut his tire. Small and disarming Sam Brown. He'd threatened Dev, and now he'd slashed his tire.

Dev was spiraling. He could feel the whole world turning around him. He was back underwater, water in his ears and darkness closing in on him, until he couldn't breathe anymore. His vision became blurry, not even seeing that someone had walked up to him.

“Woah—hey,” Two hands wrapped around Dev’s shoulders, and he whipped up his head to look right at Isaac. “You look like hell, Fishbones.”

Dev didn’t give himself time to complain about the nickname. Isaac’s tone was light—almost friendly—but it didn’t ease the tension in Dev. He could feel his blood rushing through every inch of his body, loud enough to drown out the sound of his own heavy breathing. The sound of Isaac’s worried mumbles was miles away. It wasn’t until Isaac lightly shook Dev’s body that he noticed Isaac had even been talking at all. 

“You’re freaking out,” Isaac stated, Still holding Dev by both shoulders. The touch had by now become oddly familiar to both of them. “What’s wrong?”

Dev wasn’t sure where to start. Nothing is wrong. Everything is wrong. He felt the water in his chest as it choked him. Shit. I’m having a panic attack.

“Okay, wrong question, I think,” Isaac said. “Can I—do you want me to help?”

Isaac sounded genuine, worried, and kind. Isaac’s here, he can help. Dev nodded, taking a deep, shivering breath, and looked right at Isaac. Familiar face, familiar eyes. Good.

“I know.”

Isaac frowned at that. “Okay, know what? Just in general, or…?”

Dev wanted to laugh, but it came out as little more than another shaky breath.

“No,” Dev shook his head. “About the… you know. I know. Or, I think I do. I have a suspicion, and I have to do something about it.”

“Dev,” Isaac started, as if he was about to protest the idea, but Dev stopped him.

“No. Don’t say we can’t. You—I can’t live like this. I owe it to Rachel to figure this out. It’s just—my bike, i-it’s fucked, and I can’t do this, and I’m going to do something and you can either help me or fuck off.”

“Okay.”

Dev had prepared himself to continue his speech for hours, until he’d worn the stubborn boy down, so Isaac’s sudden agreement took him by surprise.

“Oh. Okay, as in: you’ll help?”

The corners of Isaac’s mouth curled up slightly. “Yeah.”

Dev stood completely silent for a moment. He was waiting for Isaac to laugh at him, tell Dev that he was being an idiot, but he didn’t. Isaac simply stood as well, looking at Dev and waiting for him to say something.

“Okay,” Dev finally responded.

Isaac grinned a little wider, wrapping an arm around Dev’s shoulders.

“Want me to give you a ride home?”

__

Dev sat in the passenger seat of Isaac’s old red pick-up truck, his bike having been tossed in the truck bed. The stomach ache hadn’t let up yet, and the stares of his classmates as he climbed into Isaac’s car had done nothing to improve the situation. Though, he could hardly blame them. He was being driven home by Isaac Adler of all people. He would have done the same thing, if he’d seen someone else get into the truck.

His mom was going to have a heart attack when Dev got home. 

“So,” Isaac mumbled, eyes on the road. “Do you want me to drive you home, or…”

He was offering Dev an out. Isaac obviously knew people didn’t want to be seen with him. Dev decided at that moment that Isaac was more important than not calling attention to himself. He was Dev’s friend. 

“Yeah, but,” Dev could see Isaac’s smile drop at an instant. “Wanna hang out, first? I don’t really—I don’t want to be alone, right now.”

Isaac let out a relieved breath, quietly enough for Dev to get the hint and pretend like he hadn’t noticed. He had, though, and it was another thing for him to add to the ever-growing list of things that haunted his thoughts when he couldn’t sleep at night. 

“Yeah. Sure,” Isaac agreed, and he drove them to the bridge. Our bridge.

The smell of rotting eggs hit them the minute they opened the car door, and where Isaac ignored it, Dev gagged a little. Both boys walked in relative silence towards Crossroads. Dev had noticed that Isaac didn’t talk much at all, but he didn’t mind it much.

When Isaac climbed up on the bridge railing, Dev hesitated for a moment before joining him.

“You don’t like this,” Isaac wasn’t looking at Dev to read his expression, but he didn’t need to. He could read Dev even if they were both on the other side of town—Dev was nothing if not an open book.

“I-I’m just scared, I guess.”

“For yourself?” Isaac questioned. “Or for me?”

Dev didn’t respond. He didn’t need to, again. Instead he looked over towards Isaac, still staring ahead. Underneath the dark curls that hung over Isaac’s eyes Dev could see him frown, lost in a thought that Dev might never hear. Isaac wasn’t an open book at all, and Dev hated that he couldn’t read Isaac in the way Isaac could read him.

“I would have done it, if you hadn’t been there,” Isaac finally said, voice soft.

“You mean—”

“Jump.”

Dev couldn’t breathe, again, water dripping back in. No matter how much he wanted to—to take a break and breathe—Dev couldn’t look away. He was afraid that Isaac would disappear if he did.

“It’s the shitty thing about small towns,” Isaac said. “People feel a certain way about you, and that never changes. No matter how hard you try. I just wanted—” Isaac’s voice broke, pitching, and the sentence died in his throat. Everyone in Windfield knew Isaac Adler. They’d decided he would be a fuck-up like his father, and they would never give him the chance to prove them wrong. He would always be his father’s son in their eyes.

Dev moved until his knee was touching Isaac’s. He wanted to show him, in some way, that he understood. He wanted to comfort him, even if  he didn’t know where to start. 

“I wanted out,” Isaac continued. Dev could see a faint smile on his face at their touch, something he took as a signal to move closer. “But I couldn’t—can’t. Not without… you know. I’m not smart or rich enough to move away, so I’d be stuck. Stuck with my dad.”

Dev was afraid to ask. He’d always assumed—heard the rumors around town—but he never wanted to think it was true. He couldn’t stomach the idea that everyone knew, and didn’t do anything about it.

“T-the—your eye…” Dev dared. Isaac turned his head to Dev now, showing off the ring around his eye. It had faded to a yellow-ish green spot, barely visible on Isaac’s sickly pale skin. Isaac nodded, small and a little ashamed.

“It’s not always, just…” Isaac was whispering, eyes looking down to his hands. He paused for a long time, seemingly unsure of what to say next. “Yeah.”

It was quiet after that. Not the pleasant quiet Dev had gotten used to, but something thick and uncomfortable. Dev wasn’t sure what to say. Instead, he leaned in even closer, pressing his shoulder against Isaac’s. The other boy tensed, for a moment, and Dev feared he’d gone too far this time. He wanted to pull back, but Isaac leaned in, pressing against Dev. he moved his hand slightly, until the side of his hand was resting against Dev’s. They sat comfortably, save for the way Dev’s heart was beating loudly against his ribcage. But for the first time in days, it wasn’t out of fear.

When they got back to Isaac’s car, Dev’s head was swimming. He felt dizzy because of it, having to steady himself against the door before stepping in and sitting down. Something was indescribably different between them. Something was different within Dev, as well. 

He couldn’t sit still, inviting himself to dig through Isaac’s glove box while the other boy drove. He riffled through the different cassette tapes that had probably, at one point, been neatly stacked, and pulled out a random one.

For Bird, the sharpie on the label read. Dev’s heart sank, and he immediately chastised himself for it. He had no ownership over Isaac. If he wanted to make mixtapes for some girl, he had every right to do so.

“Who’s Bird?” Dev still questioned, lifting the tape slightly for Isaac to see.

“Oh, that. Uh…” Isaac’s cheeks heated up, something Dev had never seen before. He would have liked the sight of it, if his stomach hadn’t been so tied in knots. “It’s—my mom made that. For me. She used to call me Bird.”

Yikes. Embarrassment crept up on Dev, and he slowly put the tape back.

“You can put it on, if you want,” Isaac said, eyes still on the road. “It’s mostly old rock music, so I’m not sure if it's your thing, but that’s all I have.”

Dev looked at the tapes again: The Smashing Pumpkins, Depeche Mode, The Cranberries. It was music that Dev had never really listened to before. His parents greatly disliked the western hits of the last few decades, and the most American music that would ever be heard around their house was Sinatra and Ellington.

Dev grabbed the for Bird tape again and let it play. He was immediately greeted by the sound of a loud, howling guitar and a moody male voice that sounded vaguely familiar.

“Nirvana,” Isaac informed him, barely audible over the loud music. Dev leaned his head back, enjoying the noise. It sounded right. This was exactly the kind of music Dev had expected Isaac to listen to. Maybe Dev couldn’t read him as well as he wanted to, but he was getting better at it.

__

As Isaac drove up to the Singh household, Dev had almost forgotten about the situation he'd found himself in. Isaac had turned up the music and started singing along, unashamed, and Dev enjoyed every moment of it. He watched Isaac with a wide grin, hands drumming along to the music on his knees. He hadn’t even been thinking about where they were going until they slowed down slightly, Isaac turning down the volume and looking at Dev.

    “So, where to go?”

    Dev frowned, turning to look ahead. Oh, right. “It's the one down the road.”

    Isaac nodded and turned the volume back up, picking off right where he’d left off. His thumbs were drumming on the steering wheel, and his head was leaning slightly back. He sang with a smile on his face—it was the happiest Dev had ever seen him.

“There we go,” The engine turned off with a pitiful whine, and Dev was inclined to agree with the sound. “Home safe.”

    Isaac was still smiling. Dev wanted nothing more than to stay in that car—in that moment—forever. A moment where both of them got to be happy. 

Before he could say anything, the front door of his home swung open. 

    “Devin?” The sound of his mom’s voice sounded distant, but Dev could feel it down in his bones. Dev was still looking at Isaac, watching as the boy’s smile faltered slightly. Dev quickly got out of the car, almost tripping over his own feet as he walked up to his mom.

“Is that the Adler boy?” His mom asked in a hushed tone as she closed in on Dev. “Why is he driving you home? What did you do?”

“It's nothing, mama, I just—” Dev began to plead, but he was interrupted by the sound of a car door slamming shut.

“He didn’t do anything, Mrs. Singh,” Isaac answered for him, making both Dev and his mother turn in surprise. “Some glass got stuck in his bike tire, so I gave him a ride home.”

Isaac was trying hard to sound polite, Dev noticed, making sure to pronounce every syllable clearly and correctly. If Dev hadn’t known any better, he would have thought Isaac was making an effort to make a good first impression.

“Oh…” Dev’s mom had yet to look away from Isaac as the boy lifted Dev’s bike out of the truck bed, walking over to hand it back to Dev.

“Sorry,” He mumbled directly to Dev, their eyes meeting.

“No need for sorry!” Dev’s mom was loud all of the sudden, startling both boys. She was smiling at Isaac, but the air around them felt too tense for a smile like that. Perhaps she hadn’t even noticed. “Thank you for bringing Devin home safe.”

“Yeah. No worries,” Isaac’s smile didn’t entirely reach his eyes. “Have a good night.”

Isaac didn’t look at Dev as he turned around, and it twisted something in Dev’s stomach. He wanted to reach out and stop Isaac from leaving. He couldn’t let him go back home, not after everything Isaac had told him.

“Why don’t you stay for dinner?” The voice of Dev’s mom startled both boys yet again. When Isaac turned back around he was slightly wide-eyed. “As a thank you. Unless you have to be home on time?”

There was something in his mom’s voice that Dev couldn’t exactly place. Isaac seemed doubtful at first, but there was no denying the kindness of Mrs. Singh. If his mom wanted something, it was going to happen.

“Okay, yeah—yes. Thank you.”

__

Dev spent the entire evening barely able to breathe. It passed him by in a blur: Isaac meeting his family, eating at their dinner table, making Dev’s little sisters laugh—it felt like Dev had been stuck in a fog throughout all of it. But now he was standing in the middle of his own bedroom, and Isaac Adler was sitting on his bed, flipping through his marine life encyclopedia. This was really happening. 

    “You really weren’t kidding about the fish,” Isaac commented, inspecting the book in his hands. “Not an insult. I think it’s kinda cool.”

Dev couldn’t even pretend to laugh. He was too tense for it. 

“You okay, Fishbones? You look like you’re about to vomit.”

Dev nodded, but it didn’t seem to convince Isaac. The boy twisted, putting the book down behind him, and turning his attention to Dev.

“‘M sorry about your bike,” Isaac offered. “I know shit’s been… bad. But we’re gonna figure it out, right?”

“Right,” Dev agreed. Isaac turned to look at Dev, but he couldn’t quite understand the expression on Isaac’s face. It took him a few seconds too long to realize that Isaac was waiting on him to start explaining his freak-out from earlier that day. “Right. What I said.”

“You know,” Isaac agreed with a nod.

"I think so, yeah. It's—well—it's a weird situation, but you never know," Dev paced back and forth, wildly motioning his hands. "So I don't want to—"

"Please get to the point, Fishbones," Isaac interrupted. Dev turned to face Isaac head-on, stomach still turning at the memory of the magazine in Sam’s bag.

"It's Sam."

Isaac grinned for a moment, as if Dev had been joking, but it faded when he noticed Dev wasn’t smiling along with him. "Brown? Nah, he—that doesn't sound right. What—why do you think it's him?"

"The note," Dev answered. He began digging through his backpack, pulling the note out and pointing towards the o. "He was sitting next to me during bio, and he had a magazine in his bag. It was missing a letter. This letter." 

Isaac was still shaking his head as he looked over the note, more in shock than disbelief now. "Sam Brown?" He repeated, looking up as Dev affirmed him with a nod.

“I know, it’s—I’m not sure he did it. Or—well. He might’ve. He doesn’t look the type, but then again that’s what people always say about serial killers. Sam’s not a—not that we know, anyway. He could be! I don’t—”

Dev could feel a hand wrap around his wrist, tugging at him to come sit down on the bed. He shut up immediately, looking down at Isaac’s big brown eyes. He could see the worry in them, as kind as it was unexpected. Still. After everything Dev had learned about him, Isaac was unpredictable. Still unreadable.

“It’s okay,” Isaac assured him in a soft voice. Dev sat down next to him, their knees touching. Dev’s bare skin against the fabric of Isaac’s jeans. He was still holding Dev’s wrist, thumb circling the back of his hand softly. “We’re going to be okay. We’ll figure it out.”

Dev was sitting close to him—too close. Close enough to see the little moles trailing across his face and the faded scar that stretched across his nose. Close enough to see the ring of golden brown around his iris. Close enough that when Isaac leaned in, his lips were on Dev’s before Dev could even notice that he’d moved at all. 

He’s kissing me, Dev thought as panic rose in his throat. Scared. Not of the kiss itself, but of how it made him feel. I want to kiss him back.

Isaac was gone before Dev could react, frozen and wide-eyed as Isaac jumped up off the bed. He was frantic, turning around himself to grab his jacket and boots. “T-that was stupid. I don’t—that wasn’t—”

Dev stood up too, eyes still wide, hands fumbling in front of his chest. “Isaac—”

“Look,” Isaac turned around sharply, expression wild and angry. “If you’re gonna call me shit, you can save it. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before. Just—I’ll leave, yeah? Won’t even come near you anymore. Just… don’t tell anybody.”

Isaac sounded hurt, and Dev wanted nothing more than to make that hurt go away.

For the second time in his life, Dev acted without thinking. He reached forward to grab Isaac’s face with both hands and kissed him before either of them could change their minds. Isaac tensed for a moment, but before worry could so much as find him Isaac let out a deep breath against Dev’s lips, and he kissed him back. Really kissed him, warm and open-mouthed and like he belonged right there. He did. He does. 

For the first time in days, Dev wasn’t drowning. 

Isaac pulled away first, dizziness catching up to Dev and almost making him fall over.

“Oh,” Isaac was smiling, pupils blown wide as he looked at Dev like it was the first time he’d ever really seen him. In a way, it was.

“I-I like you. A lot,” Dev admitted hastily, shaking slightly.

“Good,” Isaac spoke softly, slowly, one hand on Dev’s cheek. “I like you too. A lot.”

__

Dev was still in a daze when he arrived at school the next morning. He’d slept soundly for the first time in at least a week, and he hadn’t thought about Sam or Rachel all night. Instead, his mind was completely occupied with Isaac. He was blinded by his own thoughts, not even noticing the commotion in the school hallway as he walked in. It wasn’t until someone bumped into him that Dev’s head was pulled out of the clouds.

“Sorry!” The girl that ran into him said before continuing on her way.

Dev shrugged it off, looking around the hallway to see all of the students crowded together in groups, all looking down at their phones. Weird. He continued down the hall, towards his locker, only to find that Isaac wasn’t there. After last night, he’d expected to see Isaac before class, at least, and his absence hurt Dev a little. The familiar burn of anxiety began heating up in the pit of his stomach.

Dev walked up to his locker, only to find half the football team standing in front of it. Including Sam Brown. Dev’s heart sank at the sight of the wiry boy, thoughts going back to the note that burned in his backpack. Still, Dev needed to get to his locker—needed to keep acting like everything was fine. Without evidence, there was nothing he could accuse Sam of. He took a deep breath before daring to reach out, softly tapping Sam on the shoulder.

“I—uh, excuse me, can I—what are you guys looking at?” Sam turned with a confused face on his frown, and only seemed to tense more at the sight of Dev.

“I-it’s Rachel,” He explained, turning his phone towards Dev with a trembling hand. “They found her body. Apparently that weird Adler kid did it. Police is asking everybody to keep an eye out for him.”

No, no, no. 

Dev barely managed to get to the bathroom on time to bend over the toilet, a shiver running down his spine before his breakfast came back up and out of him. He was shaking, holding onto the sides of the stall for support as he retched into the toilet. It tasted like brine and fish and the bottom of the marsh. No matter how empty his stomach felt, his lungs still burned. The water was still there. It had flooded his lungs without him even noticing.

Dev took a deep breath—in, hold, one, two, three, out—and gathered himself the best he could. He had to find Isaac, they had to talk to the police, and he had to fix everything. Dev couldn’t lose him. Not like this. Not at all.

The halls had emptied out by the time Dev managed to find his way out of the bathroom. He couldn’t even think about going to class, instead heading towards his locker. He would get rid of his books for that day and leave. He would find Isaac, and they would figure this out together. Just as Isaac had promised they would.

Dev was digging through his bag with one hand as he opened his locker with the other, stuffing his books inside before slamming it shut again. Lifting his bag, Dev saw a small, folded piece of paper on the ground, the pit in his stomach sinking impossibly deeper.

No. Not again.

Dev reached out and picked it up, barely able to unfold it with the way his hands were trembling. The paper was hardly bigger than a post-it note, and the message on it was written in a horribly messy handwriting that could really only belong to one person.

__

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