#*throws tantrum*

And I’m mad about it.

*crosses arms and pouts at the wall*

You hadn't been planning to join him - he's a stranger in a skull mask for heaven's sake - but goddamn if he didn't look like some kind of carnal deity, existing only to tempt you.

He was relaxing in the bubbling water, head thrown back, beads of liquid clinging to his skin, caressed by lazily-drifting steam. Enough of his torso rose above the waterline to give you an eyeful of the plentiful, firm muscle of his arms, shoulders, and chest, and even - was that a glimpse of a tattoo?

With a view like that, you would have been surprised not to end up here - in the water, in his lap, full of him.

You squirm, bare chest pressed against his by the large hand splayed across your back.

Too much for you, babe?

The words tease from his phone's screen, as he holds it in front of you.

"Not yet," you fire back with a grin, "but show me what you can do and we'll see."

It's a challenge that he rises to like a champ.

His giant hands close on your hips as he proceeds to effortlessly move you up and down his length, changing the angle and speed seemingly on a whim. It's maddening and delicious.

I know that was the original ending and I’m kind of upset we didn’t get it, just because I’m a sucker for the Archie vs Hiram trope. 

But also, Archie sneaking into Lodge Manor is just another trope that is reoccurring in old and new Archie Comics™.