#*things

I found this skimming ao3 a moment ago on an absolute whim of "I just need something cute to get my mind off things, anything" and oh my god whoever wrote this and linked me as your inspiration, first of all let me tell you I CRIED real life tears, they're coming back again trying to type omg, it means more than you could imagine my goofy scraps of art and ideas could inspire a whole beautifully written finished piece and just, in general, being a creative influence—I'm so flattered and humbled and I do think this is the first thing I've spotted that's directly cited my work as inspiration

If I can get my ocean of emotion under control I could talk about how hardcore this knocked the wind out of me in terms of like,,, the story and hotness and stuff but I think I need a while LOL (the emotions and. Being flustered. Cause wow.) I will come back to that. But I can't wait that long to thank you and share it

@ everyone else THIS IS !! a hot n spicy J/N fic inspired heavily by that comic page I drew I'm too lazy to grab and link but it's the one with J daydreaming about inappropriate work conduct with a rowdy N. If you liked that comic you'll like this cause I'm on the floorrrrrr chewing my arms off

-Elias

Khaire, Elias,

I'm not sure if you've tried this, but for me, I'm not always able to use the prayer positions. Most of the time, I actually just clasp my hands together near my chest (near my heart), close my eyes, and just think of my prayer in my head. I usually just start it with "Dear [insert deity here]," then continue on with whatever's going on. I don't say "Amen" at the end; I actually say "Peace be with you" instead. I've also found that talking aloud to the gods, as if talking to myself or another person, is also helpful. Instead of saying a traditional prayer, I might just sit at their altar or a space that I associate with them, and speak aloud about what's on my mind.

I share my own way of praying as an example of alterations that you can make. At the end of the day, this is YOUR practice; you're more than allowed to make any necessary changes to it for your well-being - you're encouraged to, actually! If the positions don't work for you and writing them down is difficult, then I'd say avoid those particular aspects of the practice. I find it easiest to treat the prayer like a casual conversation, or even a letter to a friend; I'm just checking in, asking for help, or something along these lines. The less pressure that you apply to the act, the less intimidating it will feel over time.

That said, have patience with yourself, friend. It's ok if these traditional methods don't work for you. I know it might feel upsetting sometimes, or even like you're a "bad worshipper", but I promise you that your best is more than enough for the gods. There's no such thing as a bad worshipper, and the gods are often far more understanding than we give them credit for. Whatever solution you decide for yourself, you'll be ok. You've got this, Elias. c:

teeth and guts and roaring waves, she crashes against me where i stand. when the wind picks up and she buckles underneath me, it is the world she turns upside down. the ache in my lungs grows sharper, these days.

as though each rocking motion drags my chest across a whetstone, uneven pressure and ever changing angle, until I am worn to metal dust. until the lines in my palms are deep enough to hold her, and my walk wavers when I leave her.

some days, she is quiet, see. she lies, still and unmoving underneath me, and when I look into her, it is into the eyes of a fanged thing that has long since had its last meal. the thing lays still.

the thing smiles. and she is, all at once-

there is a whale carcass rotting somewhere deep within her, sinking ever deeper, still. there is salt on my lips and the smell of seaweed in my nose. in my hand, the rope is fraying. upon my chest, my shirt is wet with longing.

oh, but i love her.

HELL YEAHHH!!! I feel bad cause I feel like I'm constantly hyping its drop and then not dropping it, but I promise. It's coming. 🤧❤️‍🩹 I'm always a little surprised people are still waiting for it at all considering I sat on part 2 for almost 10 months, but hell yeahhhhh. 💥

Alsoooo,,,speaking of 40k word count....I added more to it. I really hope it doesn't hit 60k words, because that's going to be a chore for people to read through probably, but.....

Here's a screenshot to show where it's at right now. Ignore the grandfather-ass sized goofy opendyslexic font, I got my phone font set to elderly levels because otherwise I get a headache reading my screen 🥀

(also yay ARK snippet. We're getting ARK lore in part 2! You get to see what happened and I get shot a hundred times for putting Shadow through both past and present torment 💥💥💥💥💥)