hey quick question: why the fuck is the topic of needing a date for a school prom/formal pushed so heavily on kids at the ages of 15/16 or 17/18? when it’s only one night of lousy top 40s music (for example my year 10 formal was filled with Rihanna’s songs “S&M” and “rude boy”, a barrage of David guetta and Flo Rida/LMFAO songs and then Adele’s “someone like you”. hell, the biggest mood killer of the night was a “pumped up kicks” - foster the people cover by a band of boys from my year)? and then sub par food? and the night of the formal, they’ll only remember snippets of, only a few years after it happened? like fuck off.
prom/formal should be a night to be enjoyed with your friends, not some random guy or girl in your year group that you’ve barely uttered a fucking word to (in nearly all cases, besides the ones who’ve started dating or y’know they’re just friends going as friends, like I did with one of my guy friends in year 12) in the whole either 4 (for year 10 or junior proms/formals) or 6 years (for year 12/senior ones) you’ve been going to school together. like I remember my crush in year 10 tried to set me up with his best friend (a petty thing to do, to dangle himself in front of me, really, bc he was already taking someone) that I’d been super sassy to at the athletics carnival the previous year, and generally never spoke to.... except when we were forced to be partners for our ballroom dancing PE lessons and assessment that I barely ever participated in. then I was made to look like a cruel bitch bc I said no to him, and he didn’t end up going bc he didn’t have a date.... or at least that’s what it made me feel like on formal night when he didn’t turn up and his friends looked kinda slightly sullen about it, which was also coupled with rude comments from teachers. but I think he was cool with it though. his actual excuse was that “formal is overrated and expensive... and I come back next year???? like what’s the point?? I’ll just go to our year 12 one!” which he did, because I saw the photos.
like why the fuck was i shamed for a whole two straight years by my teachers at catholic school in years 9 & 10, who made it their business to tell me that “no real man from this school, in your year (bc we could only take people from our year group to formals) will ever take you to the formal, unless you learn to be a real woman in the eyes of jesus” or that my “goal for the year should be to gain 10 kilos bc the real men here at this school only like women with meat on their bones and not a girl who looks like she starves herself!” (which if they bothered to ask any of my friends for evidence, they’d find out that I ate A LOT and I’m legitimately naturally skinny)...
like why the fuck is this your business as my idk english/maths/art/sport/religion/science teacher or year coordinator etc??? stay the fuck out of it ms shackleback, I swear to fuck. and also why did this always have to be done out of the way of my friends, “in private” so that I never had anyone to back up my claims??? also why the fuck are you so condescending? they’re real men? while I’m a feral child? THEY’RE LITERALLY 15, MR RHONSON! THEY MAKE WANKING/FLESH LIGHT JOKES AND ALSO RAPE JOKES ON THEIR OWN OR EACH OTHER’S FACEBOOK PAGES EVERY FUCKING NIGHT!!!! THEY’RE NO FUCKING ANGELS AND SAINTS OR GENTLEMEN! THEY’RE JUST AS GROSS AS 15yo ME MAKING JOKES ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY BECOMING A SEX WORKER WHEN SHE MOVES TO PUBLIC SCHOOL! FOR CHRIST’S ALMIGHTY GODDAMN FUCKING SAKE! (not that sex workers are actually gross, you keep doing you ladies! I was just fresh out of my eminem and rap phases is all. and also that defs DID NOT happen anyway 😂)
like fuck, I was even shamed on fucking formal night. the one night where after making all the jokes about turning up in no makeup, ripped black skinny jeans, an ADTR or amity affliction shirt and converses bc I apparently “wasn’t like the other girls bc I was SoOoOoO oRiGiNaL AND pUnK!” or pulling a lady Gaga by turning up in a garbage bag... but making it fashion; or whatever other dumb fucking shit I said.... I turned up looking super nice (for 16yo me that is)... like nice enough to impress my crush at the time so much that he dropped his jaw y’all! in fact, everyone did! 😂
yet I was met with almost nonstop backhand compliments by like nearly all of my teachers. comments like “you look so wonderful *my friends walk off* but what a shame your lack of lady-like behaviour doesn’t compensate for the effort you put in!” or “you brushed up nicely! but what a shame you don’t have a boy with you! you’d look lovely with one on your arm! but you didn’t clean yourself up enough to have one of the real men in your year! how embarrassing!” *pointed, jeering look* and snide comments about me being in a dress when I turned up to school in one every day???? like what the fuck did I turn up to school in? up to $1000 worth of agent provocateur luxury lingerie ensembles, a school blazer and heels? with an apple, a book, my glasses and a riding crop to discipline the rowdy boys? with a coy smile to match Megan Fox’s on any merch associated with Jennifer’s body? fucking honestly let girls joke a little?
then a random guy (obvs one of the popular guys) in my year turns up with a fucking literal BLOW UP SEX DOLL. YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT! A BLOW UP SEX DOLL as a prank. and you know the types of comments he gets? “oh that Benson is a real laugh isn’t he!? a lark!” and “WHAT A GREAT PRANK BEN!” and the like. like fuck off. (but then again I never found out if he got cautioned about it, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did) literally the only good non backhanded comment I remember receiving on the night of my year 10 formal was my (male) drama teacher saying: “Ilona, holy shit! you look so nice tonight! whose idea was your hippy/gypsy vibe! I dig it! so many of the guys here would kill (not obviously of course, shit) to have you on their arm! why so down? why so glum? have a good night, yeah?”
finally to finish off, honestly how the fuck the teachers couldn’t understand that the constant degrading and negative remarks and treatment they were persistently giving me, made me feel like that I never deserved a date in the first place, I’ll never fucking know. 🤔
but when I changed to public school, why didn’t any of my teachers intervene with this? it was so much more enjoyable (but still annoying) to only have the boys in the year below me try to jockey for spots to take me to my year 12 formal (bc public school let you take anyone within a reasonable age range). but still. why is it pushed? in neither of these scenarios did I ever need a male friend to take me. I was more than happy going on my own to be with my friends 🤷🏻♀️. i had only one negative comment on the night of my year 12 formal. and that was my year coordinator saying that I was very awkward in high heels. but altoghter I brushed up nicely. but then again, I either misplaced my phone or it got stolen. bc by the end of the night, I didn’t have my phone. the highlight of the night was my teachers getting fucking smashed and constantly requesting that the soundtrack of grease be played along with a load of 70s/80s music 😂 it was great. 😅
the only reasons why I remember both of my formals so clearly are because one was so awfully negative and unbearable (year 10/junior) that I couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of there, and the other one was passable and tolerable, even if I did get my phone stolen (year 12/senior) 😂
so, this is a message to anyone who wants to be a teacher or has just become a new teacher in a high school: if you harass kids like this, over something so fucking goddamn trivial as a formal/prom date; I will literally come to fucking haunt you when I die. leave kids the fuck alone to have some fun with their friends.
