#* texts.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   "you want to punish yourself by seeking unhealthy relationships."    [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   also the stars say you may want to have your feet fucked.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   this is the worst thing i have come across all week

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   maybe it's the preparation for pangea   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   which i for one am all for

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you're kdidng

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   the real magic was the tomfoolery we had along the way?

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   that sounds like a famous last words situation

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   the death of a platform cannot end our tomfoolery

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'll die hot   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   in every sense of the word

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   there's a "everything is bigger in texas" joke in there somewhere

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what can i say i love to validate my friends

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   when ur suffering too much from anxiety to fly so u just recreate 179,997,981 B.C.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   at this point i'm taking no responsibilities you know what you're signing up for when u open this chat

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   valid and good information and all but I fucking refuse to teach my kids how to "hook up so they're not nervous anymore"

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we need a gang sign

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i like having the reputation of terror among those who Don't Know Me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   if the worst thing that people think about me is that i have a [thing] kink then i can live with that

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   teeth r hot what is anyone going to do about it

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   the fact that the conversation just ends there makes it look like you legit hopped on a plane and unhinged your jaw

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   the suns will come for us all

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   my conspiracy theory is strengthening

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   they're telling u to be suspicious of the house plant in case there's a mic in there

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] didn't u hear me the tractor supply is a front for a secret government agency keep up

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   who needs eyes when u got swag

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   not to completely derail the conversation but [person] just said that she believes male nipples should fall off like the umbilical cord at some point and i can't fucking breathe

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   there are only so many contexts for [body part] in a sexual setting

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   WHERE ARE YOUR TEETH IF NOT ATTACHED TO YOUR HEAD

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   the Salmon Instinct(tm) always gets ya

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i immediately regret typing that

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur parents thought gators made a nice backdrop for babymaking

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm surrounded by rats i see

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   p sure the faculty let it go on bc it would work as abstinence fuel

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i choose ignorance

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm not linking anything google at your own risk

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   just let [name] do the talking, even if it's about teeth

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   john mulaney was right

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i will relish in your suffering nonetheless

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i've got therapy at 10, and a tarot reading at 9.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   me: yeah i consider myself a logical, even overthinking individual   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   also me: no wait fuck i'm gonna burn my couch *SLAPS THE FIRE*

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   tonightwith food, i will weep, do not fret

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   cry those shit chemicals out

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   vastly different kids of chaos, urs hurts u, i just had to eat the marshmallows faster to get rid of Bad Taste

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   finland is the florida of europe

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   but more importantly it made my heart hurt

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   all roads lead to [person/public figure]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   it is Fucking Moist here my mans   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ....humid. the word i was looking for is humid

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   if there ever comes a day when i stop liveblogging my misfortune here, presume me dead

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   that's a whole child

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i hate them both so [name] just go my wrath in that moment

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   our entire relationship is based on fictional emotional s/m

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i hope u realise we're gonna kidnap u when u come here right

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   update: 4 am and i'm crying about a fictional bird child

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   can someone please kill the hobgoblin, they keep coming back and i have nothing left to give

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   cursed threeway

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   the minions crucified jesus

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   THE FUCKER STOLE MY TERRIYAKI JERKY

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   "you're a shameless little jerky thief and i hate you" - [name] about the cat, but it's better without context

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   I consider this further proof that Romeo and Juliet ruin everything

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i have the sense of humour of a 12 year old

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   yeah rodeo girls will do that to u tho

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] has the brain cell and they fell asleep with it

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm never gonna be able to look at rich people furniture without presuming it's a kink thing hiding in plain sight

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   but who am i if not the bitch to say the thing nobody wants to

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i must've missed deep sea penis

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   IT’S IN MAJOR IT COUNTS AS LIGHT-HEARTED

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u might finally be free of "[full name] fucks."

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   plural of jerry's is jerry'ses

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you're sharing so there's a trail in case someone ( maybe yourself ) goes missing when ur backs are turned

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i have yet to whip out dicks young lady

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   lizard brayo

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   fuck the fuck off tunglr

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what are Christmas goblins if not depression goblins with prettier aesthetics

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we're just two bitches trying to watch [actor] and then go to bed

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   maybe complaining is what gets it off.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   well yeah, it's hard to knock on a door that doesn't exist

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   murdered by demons is our go-to

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we sound like the casting calls for the leads of the same gay cowboy movie

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   any blanket is a weighted blanket when u carry the weight of ur sins

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   We have some Amazing 🌈Bottoms🌈

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] i am confiscating ur thumbstacks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   YOUR HUBRIS BECAME YOUR DOWNFALL

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what can i say i'm a sexual deviant and i can't be stopped

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   the stars neglected me. they haven't assigned me a fetish

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm pretty sure 'you are going to be the death of me' was like. the disclaimer of this entire squad

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   swipe right if you dare!

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   but it tracks for the pachycephalosaurus

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   I SWEAR TO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   this chat is going to give me an aneurysm

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   "fully automated luxury gay space communism" is the best tag i've ever seen

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   why don't you have a stockpile of mothman memes

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i really do owe my life to the aesthetic

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u coax the worst things out of my mouth and then [screenshot/save/pin] them to record my mistakes

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur not allowed to die its just the rules

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you two are going to be the death of me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   why are you paying for microsoft office in 2019

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   it's nearly [zodiac] season, bitches

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i see your "will make content for rarepairs" and i raise you "will make content for pairs literally no one has ever considered and probably for a good reason"

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i was DOOMED and thus so are all of u

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i am going to snap your fingernails vertically in half

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   own that garbage

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh fuck that suck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we were building a desert set which was less exciting and more construct-y but it did lead to the following conversation:   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   guy walking in: chickenwire, huh. what's gonna come out of that?   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   me: quicksand

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   viva la resistance motherfuckers

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   well the ass and the face are the most disturbing part

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   it was still very much about the shape of his teeth

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   a real whoosy boi

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   if i suffer y'all suffer that's the rules

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   also icb ur liveblogging your crime

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   granted i do still want the [body part(s)] to be attached to the person and not just laying around somewhere

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm gonna go with "have repressed all memories of this by tomorrow and even looking at this conversation for context isn't going to provide us with information"

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ... Well if u ever commit a crime and need to change ur hair ur all set

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh god i'd completely forgotten about the teeth conversation

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   something about that ass Haunts me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name]'s teeth are,,,,,,, h*t

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur not late, any time is a good time to hate capitalism

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh shit [name]s pulling out the big guns

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   listen as far as the things you could come back to go i think this is a good one

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   Amateur theatre energy is alarmingly similar to redneck ingenuity energy

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   threat acknowledged

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i take it back i don't want any more information

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what do we say to the god of baby germs

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   and then Goth happened

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   turn everything into a photishooot

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   but u also would have got pictures of me depositing the tiger in the cow shed

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i feel like you constantly forget that i'm always full of Good Points

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you want to punish urself by seeking unhealthy relationships. also the stars say u may want to have ur feet fucked

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   "white orc sex slave" is not a phrase i thought i'd hear today

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   yeah raw sexual energy

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] perks up at the mention of lying to the fbi lmao

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   yall are dumb and i love u

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   HOW CRYPTID IS THE COWBOY IF U CAN TELL HE'S INDIFFERENT

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [image file saying 'mothman respects your position but must express his dissent. also you're going to die.]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ...do i need to make the vampire joke

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur amazing and so good and so important and lowkey i'm crying abt how much i love u and u deserve every good thing i love u thanks for coming to my ted talk

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   look me in the eyes and tell me steve wouldn't crawl up thanos's butthole to save the world and get bucky back

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] i am going to choke you

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   my brain was immediately with "she took the shirt off to wipe away the blood of someone, possibly someone she murdered, and then had to put the shirt back on

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i literally never know what i'm going to come back to when i open this chat

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i make no excuses for who i am as a person

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i am going to jump off the edge of the earth.   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   and that's not me saying flat earthers are right that's me saying i will flatten it myself and then jump off

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm trying to show sympathy you fuck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what can i say, i'm an escapist bitch

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i never want to see dick and clown in the same sentence ever again

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh fuck off. i don't know what they've done but it's [name] so it's gonna be bad.