disastrio text starters episode II:Β teeth and tomfoolery. Β below and under the cut, you can find 75 messages dug up from the pins of the cursed group chat of three international friends, and some select dms. slightly edited for roleplay purposes, with spelling errors opted to keep in tact to maintain the Energyβ’. edit as you please.Β tw: nsfw and kink mentions.
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β when i have nothing to add i just screenshot it sorry
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β [name] i am going to choke you.
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β sorry i laughed too hard and now my mother is yelling
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β thunder just shook my entire car. Β [ ππ΄ππ ] Β why must we all pay for florida man's sins.
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i is business contact
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β only if they mentioned something about te*th
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i don't watch enough simpsons to know what that means but i love you
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β hey who wants to hear a fun fact about the progression of time
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β as if you could curb your scientific curiosity for long enough to leave the only place on earth where someone might use "hey who wants to hear a fun fact about the progression of time" as a conversation opener
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β "you want to punish yourself by seeking unhealthy relationships." Β Β [ ππ΄ππ ] Β also the stars say you may want to have your feet fucked.
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β this is the worst thing i have come across all week
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β maybe it's the preparation for pangea Β [ ππ΄ππ ] Β which i for one am all for
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β you're kdidng
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β the real magic was the tomfoolery we had along the way?
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β that sounds like a famous last words situation
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β the death of a platform cannot end our tomfoolery
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i'll die hot Β [ ππ΄ππ ] Β in every sense of the word
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β there's a "everything is bigger in texas" joke in there somewhere
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β what can i say i love to validate my friends
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β when ur suffering too much from anxiety to fly so u just recreate 179,997,981 B.C.
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β at this point i'm taking no responsibilities you know what you're signing up for when u open this chat
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β valid and good information and all but I fucking refuse to teach my kids how to "hook up so they're not nervous anymore"
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β we need a gang sign
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i like having the reputation of terror among those who Don't Know Me
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β if the worst thing that people think about me is that i have a [thing] kink then i can live with that
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β teeth r hot what is anyone going to do about it
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β the fact that the conversation just ends there makes it look like you legit hopped on a plane and unhinged your jaw
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β the suns will come for us all
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β my conspiracy theory is strengthening
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β they're telling u to be suspicious of the house plant in case there's a mic in there
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β [name] didn't u hear me the tractor supply is a front for a secret government agency keep up
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β who needs eyes when u got swag
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β not to completely derail the conversation but [person] just said that she believes male nipples should fall off like the umbilical cord at some point and i can't fucking breathe
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β there are only so many contexts for [body part] in a sexual setting
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β WHERE ARE YOUR TEETH IF NOT ATTACHED TO YOUR HEAD
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β the Salmon Instinct(tm) always gets ya
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i immediately regret typing that
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β ur parents thought gators made a nice backdrop for babymaking
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i'm surrounded by rats i see
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β p sure the faculty let it go on bc it would work as abstinence fuel
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i choose ignorance
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i'm not linking anything google at your own risk
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β just let [name] do the talking, even if it's about teeth
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β john mulaney was right
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i will relish in your suffering nonetheless
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i've got therapy at 10, and a tarot reading at 9.
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β me: yeah i consider myself a logical, even overthinking individual Β [ ππ΄ππ ] Β also me: no wait fuck i'm gonna burn my couch *SLAPS THE FIRE*
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β tonightwith food, i will weep, do not fret
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β cry those shit chemicals out
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β vastly different kids of chaos, urs hurts u, i just had to eat the marshmallows faster to get rid of Bad Taste
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β finland is the florida of europe
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β but more importantly it made my heart hurt
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β all roads lead to [person/public figure]
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β it is Fucking Moist here my mans Β [ ππ΄ππ ] Β ....humid. the word i was looking for is humid
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β if there ever comes a day when i stop liveblogging my misfortune here, presume me dead
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β that's a whole child
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i hate them both so [name] just go my wrath in that moment
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β our entire relationship is based on fictional emotional s/m
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i hope u realise we're gonna kidnap u when u come here right
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β update: 4 am and i'm crying about a fictional bird child
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β can someone please kill the hobgoblin, they keep coming back and i have nothing left to give
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β cursed threeway
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β the minions crucified jesus
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β THE FUCKER STOLE MY TERRIYAKI JERKY
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β "you're a shameless little jerky thief and i hate you" - [name] about the cat, but it's better without context
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β I consider this further proof that Romeo and Juliet ruin everything
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i have the sense of humour of a 12 year old
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β yeah rodeo girls will do that to u tho
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β [name] has the brain cell and they fell asleep with it
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i'm never gonna be able to look at rich people furniture without presuming it's a kink thing hiding in plain sight
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β but who am i if not the bitch to say the thing nobody wants to
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i must've missed deep sea penis
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β ITβS IN MAJOR IT COUNTS AS LIGHT-HEARTED
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β op of this article has a vore kink
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disastrioβs 'the pin listβ text starters.Β Β below and under the cut, you can find ~100 messages dug up from the pins of the cursed group chat of three international friends. slightly edited for roleplay purposes. spelling errors opted to keep in tact to maintain the Energy(tm). edit as you please. tw: nsfw, mention of abuse.
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β u should know by now i'm not as much a complete person as i am several sitcom tropes stacked in an anxiety blanket
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β things that should not be present in making spaghetti and meatballs: sparks Β [ ππ΄ππ ] Β things that were present when i was making spaghetti and meatballs two minutes ago: sparks
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β give it a good deep fry and it'll make reddit front page
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β you piece of fuck
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i'm not making this up it's a real post
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i just really don't like the look of american hollywood boys apparently
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β quit trying to post porn [name]
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β what's deeper than emotional? are you going to /fuck/ the house?
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i genuinely don't know what i expected googling that thing but that was not it
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i legitimately don't know how you're expecting me to reply to this
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i'm setting up my bfu episode
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β u might finally be free of "[full name] fucks."
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β plural of jerry's is jerry'ses
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β you're sharing so there's a trail in case someone ( maybe yourself ) goes missing when ur backs are turned
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i have yet to whip out dicks young lady
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β lizard brayo
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β fuck the fuck off tunglr
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β what are Christmas goblins if not depression goblins with prettier aesthetics
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β we're just two bitches trying to watch [actor] and then go to bed
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β maybe complaining is what gets it off.
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β well yeah, it's hard to knock on a door that doesn't exist
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β murdered by demons is our go-to
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β we sound like the casting calls for the leads of the same gay cowboy movie
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β any blanket is a weighted blanket when u carry the weight of ur sins
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β We have some Amazing πBottomsπ
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β [name] i am confiscating ur thumbstacks
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β YOUR HUBRIS BECAME YOUR DOWNFALL
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β what can i say i'm a sexual deviant and i can't be stopped
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β the stars neglected me. they haven't assigned me a fetish
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i'm pretty sure 'you are going to be the death of me' was like. the disclaimer of this entire squad
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β swipe right if you dare!
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β but it tracks for the pachycephalosaurus
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β I SWEAR TO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β this chat is going to give me an aneurysm
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β "fully automated luxury gay space communism" is the best tag i've ever seen
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β why don't you have a stockpile of mothman memes
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i really do owe my life to the aesthetic
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β u coax the worst things out of my mouth and then [screenshot/save/pin] them to record my mistakes
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β ur not allowed to die its just the rules
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β you two are going to be the death of me
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β why are you paying for microsoft office in 2019
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i see your "will make content for rarepairs" and i raise you "will make content for pairs literally no one has ever considered and probably for a good reason"
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i was DOOMED and thus so are all of u
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i am going to snap your fingernails vertically in half
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β own that garbage
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β oh fuck that suck
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β we were building a desert set which was less exciting and more construct-y but it did lead to the following conversation:Β Β [ ππ΄ππ ] Β guy walking in: chickenwire, huh. what's gonna come out of that?Β Β [ ππ΄ππ ] Β me: quicksand
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β viva la resistance motherfuckers
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β well the ass and the face are the most disturbing part
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β it was still very much about the shape of his teeth
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β a real whoosy boi
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β if i suffer y'all suffer that's the rules
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β also icb ur liveblogging your crime
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β granted i do still want the [body part(s)] to be attached to the person and not just laying around somewhere
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i'm gonna go with "have repressed all memories of this by tomorrow and even looking at this conversation for context isn't going to provide us with information"
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β ... Well if u ever commit a crime and need to change ur hair ur all set
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β oh god i'd completely forgotten about the teeth conversation
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β something about that ass Haunts me
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β ur not late, any time is a good time to hate capitalism
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β oh shit [name]s pulling out the big guns
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β listen as far as the things you could come back to go i think this is a good one
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β Amateur theatre energy is alarmingly similar to redneck ingenuity energy
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β threat acknowledged
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i take it back i don't want any more information
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β what do we say to the god of baby germs
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β and then Goth happened
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β turn everything into a photishooot
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β but u also would have got pictures of me depositing the tiger in the cow shed
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i feel like you constantly forget that i'm always full of Good Points
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β you want to punish urself by seeking unhealthy relationships. also the stars say u may want to have ur feet fucked
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β "white orc sex slave" is not a phrase i thought i'd hear today
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β yeah raw sexual energy
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β [name] perks up at the mention of lying to the fbi lmao
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β yall are dumb and i love u
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β HOW CRYPTID IS THE COWBOY IF U CAN TELL HE'S INDIFFERENT
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β [image file saying 'mothman respects your position but must express his dissent. also you're going to die.]
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β ...do i need to make the vampire joke
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β ur amazing and so good and so important and lowkey i'm crying abt how much i love u and u deserve every good thing i love u thanks for coming to my ted talk
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β look me in the eyes and tell me steve wouldn't crawl up thanos's butthole to save the world and get bucky back
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β [name] i am going to choke you
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β my brain was immediately with "she took the shirt off to wipe away the blood of someone, possibly someone she murdered, and then had to put the shirt back on
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i literally never know what i'm going to come back to when i open this chat
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i make no excuses for who i am as a person
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i am going to jump off the edge of the earth.Β Β [ ππ΄ππ ] Β and that's not me saying flat earthers are right that's me saying i will flatten it myself and then jump off
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i'm trying to show sympathy you fuck
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β what can i say, i'm an escapist bitch
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β i never want to see dick and clown in the same sentence ever again
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β oh fuck off. i don't know what they've done but it's [name] so it's gonna be bad.
[ ππ΄ππ ] Β icb we have a test run on new year's eve