#(anon!!!!)

I imagine him maybe sitting down, and in the middle of taking off his shoes when this happens. Hunched down, with his fingers still in the middle of pulling the shoe laces. After the shock, he's ripping everything off as quickly as he can so he can come to you. Desperate to proof how much he still loves you, how he never wants to think like that again.

And meanwhile you've just been doing your own thing, completely oblivious to the mess inside his head and everything going on with him. When suddenly he's on you, desperate and begging for forgiveness. You're just so confused. Not having a clue about what's going on. Why is he suddenly apologizing over and over again?

I feel like at this point this can go in two slightly different directions, depending on your mood... Do you stop him now, and make him explain himself? Where you can then reassure and talk to him first, explaining how what he felt was completely normal, especially after the day he had, and that you know he didn't mean it. Not after years of him practically worshipping the ground you walk on. Before worshipping him for a change for being such a good husband. OR do you let him get it all out of his system before talking about it? The desperate fucking, while he has tears in his eyes, and the talk in the after glow. The house silent but everything still feels raw in a way. Hushed voices, as he explains everything.

Hopefully this made sense, and you enjoyed it. 😅 I'm not really a writer so when the inspiration hit I tried my best. It's also 6.30 am atm, I randomly woke up at 5 am with only a few hours of sleep. Checked Tumblr just to see what had been posted while I was asleep. Still half asleep and very tired, when I read your new fic, and my brain wouldn't shut up with this idea before I wrote this all down. 😅🤷🏼‍♀️

BTW can I be 🧡 Anon? I already use it with Jay, and I would like to keep the same here too. ☺️

oh my goodness :( this actually destroyed me because he really would never allow himself to snap at you. he never did when growing up, he never would in present time. whenever he feels anyyyy hostility towards you, he thinks of the little face he used to feed and wipe tears from and just can’t bring himself to ever bring that side of him out.

thennnn we progress and the desperation would make everything move soooo fast. clothes off without explanation, you barely get time to breathe before he’s inside you and fucking his forgiveness into you. you don’t even know why he’s making anything up to you. it’s not unhealthy communication if he corrects himself and loves on you properly instead of taking it out on you!!!

STOPPPP OMG

lets say reader is on her phone scrolling on twitter (i refuse to call it 'x' omg) and she sees all these posts criticizing her looks. reader and phoebe were caught by paparazzi outside a hotel earlier or something and so there are new photos circulating.

reader sees all these negative comments towards her and her heart drops. people are being really cruel, calling her a plethora of names. reader starts to really look at the photos and starts to believe the things people are saying.

she gets really upset about it. then she starts to avoid phoebe. not answering calls or texts. phoebe thinks it was something she so after reader denies her requests to call/get dinner or something she shows up outside readers apartment.

reader lets phoebe in and phoebe is all like "what did i do baby?"

reader is shocked and says "nothing! you didn't do anything."

"then what happened?"

reader pulls out her phone and shows phoebe the comments. when phoebe takes the phoebe takes the phone and starts reading throught them she gets really upset. then she looks to reader and sees reader crying.

"oh honey," phoebe pulls reader into a hug and holds her.

phoebe pulls away and cradles readers face in her hands, wiping off a tear. "you can't believe anything these people say okay baby? they're just trying to hurt you. you're perfect. you're perfect for me and i love you."

reader nods, and then phoebe holds reader the rest of the night. they cuddle on readers couch, phoebe soothing reader with feather light kisses.

Please keep anonymous.

Hello fellow tinhat.

Something I saw on Reddit yesterday has sent me into a spiral of wonderfulness about Gold Rush.

A reminder of what Taylor said about Gold Rush, that it: “takes place inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it.”

I had a theory from very early on that Gold Rush was about kaylor meeting at the Met Gala in 2011. I didn’t have any solid ‘evidence’ of this, but some stuff stuck out. As a refresher, we know that they met and had an interaction at the 2011 Met Gala because a year and a half later Karlie said that this was when the baking date joke first started. They joked about it, Taylor then mentioned it during her Vogue interview Sept 13, 2011, and then Karlie saw it when Vogue was released in January 2012 and tweeted ‘your kitchen or mine?’ Karlie wore a gold dress that year to the Met Gala and then 8 years later, she famously wore another gold dress and captioned her insta post “Gold Rush”.

What really made me think Gold Rush was about the 2011 Met Gala was just the whole way it vibes with the toe storyline, because I think the Toe fanfiction was invented to mimic Kaylor’s actual truth, partly to allow Taylor to write about her experiences and attribute them to joe in a believable way. It’s easier to lie when it’s partly true. So if Taylor first developed a crush on Karlie at the Met Gala 2011, it just smoothly fits into this toe thing, in a way. This is especially true when you add in the fact that Dianna was also there, and then Taylor and Dianna may have started something within days of when Taylor shouted out Karlie in the Vogue interview in Sept 2011, and both Karlie and Dianna tweeted about the Vogue cover in a flirtatious way. You end up with this messy bit of a love triangle type thing going on, not too far off from the mess that was Calvin/Tom/Joe (Karlie) in 2016. Not that I think we can say that anything really was going on between kaylor at this time, but you can definitely see flirting and crushing going on, which fits the toe narrative about them being friends and texting while Taylor secretly had a crush while dating Tom. Not exactly the same of course, but if this was all happening back then it gives her this ability to write about real situations and feelings while being able to attribute it to the boyfriends. And the whole message of Gold Rush is that it’s just a dream and it could never be. And so it was for another 2 years (in the toe fantasy it was just 3 months of her daydreaming about it and thinking it could never be.)

So this was just a silly, fun idea I had until yesterday when I saw this excerpt form her Vogue interview on Reddit. Keep in mind the spring 2012 show took place in Sept 2011:

👀 What are the odds? She was even wearing an folkevermore-style cottagecore dress!

I also realized that in August 2011, in the same sort of timeframe all this was going on, Taylor wore a Philadelphia Eagles shirt during Speak Now tour 👀

And on top of all that, at this time karlie was getting what I consider to be her first real chance at fame outside of the fashion world, because she got a cover story for Life Magazine, released Sept 10, 2011 (all this going on at the same time is kinda crazy!) And this video was part of that photoshoot:

Very ‘gleaming twinkling’ if you ask me. Plus Daisies!?!

So I hope you will join me in this wildness. It seems right up your alley.

———

ANON?! HELLO?

You come into my house, and you make me viscerally upset over Melissa Schemmenti at nine o’clock in the morning?????!!!!!!!!

Oh, the fact that she fully accepts that she’s the other woman, even though Barb clearly tries to protest, and the way that you get her self-sacrificing and self-deprecating nature. Of course she’d never ask Barb to give everything up for her.

And, like, on the flip side, you have Barb over there in desperate agony, torn between the beautiful life she has so lovingly carved out for herself and the way that the woman on the other side of the bed sets her soul on fire. She loves the stability of her home. She loves institutions of marriage, of family, and of church. She loves Gerald Howard. She’d never do anything to hurt that dear and precious man.

But then there’s Melissa, and she loves her too. She loves everything about her: her fire truck red hair that sometimes catches in the gaps between her fingers; her big, boisterous laugh; her big, soft belly; the way she always anticipates what Barbara needs; her solidity; her perpetual thereness. Her stomach strangely coils when the divot in the second grade teacher’s v-necks are a little too low. It’s been a long, long time since her husband has made her felt the same way. She holds Melissa in the stolen moments that they get, tracing the knobs on her exposed spine, and often has to hold back tears, thinking about all the ways she’s hurting the two people she loves most.

And here Melissa is, telling her about some of these hurts but being so brave and so resigned about it.

Barbara doesn’t know what she’s done to deserve her.

“I…. I don’t do right by you, Melissa,” she breathes, burying her face in the crook of the younger woman’s neck. She can’t bear to meet her in the eye. “You shouldn’t… have to be in so much pain over me, to constantly wonder your placement in my life.”

(To experience this unholy and unspeakable joy in the margins.)

WH-