#((oops!!))

He’s a rouge cultivator now, with a cool sword, enough money, long-ass hair and zero actual responsibilities!

So, all in all, Shen Yuan hit a jackpot. He travels, makes notes of monsters he sees and sometimes fights, collects rare herbs and flowers and feels just great.

He feels decidedly less great, when after defeating a Six Eyed Spider Viper in some nameless, remote village, he receives a bride as a payment. It shockes him into a stupor for long enough for the villagers to think he actually agreed, so as soon as he can talk again, he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind:

“This one is already married!”

It doesn’t work as well as he hoped.

“So Nie Rong can be a second wife.” An auntie, possibly Nie Rong’s mother, waves her hand dismissively at him.

“No, no,” Shen Yuan scrambles. “This one wasn’t being clear enough. This one is not in position to take wives! He is- is, uh.”

“Master is a wife?” Nie Rong chrips, her cheeks reddened.

“Uh. Sure. Yeah.” Shen Yuan would like to leave the village immediately. A thrill of defeating a cool fucking monster wasn’t even worth the embarrassment!

“Master’s husband must be quite powerful to get such a cultivator as a wife.” One of the villagers says, eyes glinting with suspicion. “Who’s he?”

“This one’s husband is indeed very powerful.” Shen Yuan squeezes out of himself, taking a step back. “Very possessive, too.”

“How come he lets his husband travel so far?”

“Oh! It’s easy, really. This one’s husband’s harem is big enough to slip away for a week or two!”

An agitated murmur passes through the small crowd. Shen Yuan sighs, feeling the control of the situation slipping through his fingers.

“He doesn’t sound like a very good husband.” One of the aunties says. “Maybe you should divorce him and marry our Rong-er after all.”

“This one’s husband is not someone one just divorces.” Shen Yuan takes another step back. “Thanking everyone for kind words, but-"

“Oh.” Nie Rong says, eyes downcast. “It’s the Emperor, isn’t it? That’s why Daozhang can’t leave?”

“Yes!” Shen Yuan yelps before he can really think. “So you can see how the situation is difficult for this one.”

It’s a shit solution to a problem. Might be the worst, actually. But then again, Luo Binghe would never know and Shen Yuan gets a perfect excuse if something similar ever happens again.

And it does happen. Quite too often, if Shen Yuan is honest — shouldn’t all the girls belong to the protagonist anyway?!

So, Shen Yuan uses his perfect excuse: No, he cannot marry your pretty little daughter, he’s an Emperor Luo’s husband. And: No, fellow rouge cultivator, he will not share your bed, he’s spoken for!

Everything works without a hitch, until one day Shen Yuan walks into an inn where he’s been staying for last couple of days and comes face to face with the Emperor of Combined Realms, Lord Luo himself.

notes: noncon, intox

going out for drinks at the bar that trinity frequents. she's there alone tonight, just letting off some steam with a few rounds of karaoke. as she's getting off the stage and going for her drink, she overhears a conversation.

the sound of an angry male voice reaches her and her hackles go up. she spots you, clearly super drunk, trying to reject some dude who's standing way to close to you and talking way too loud to be a nice guy.

trinity is moving in an instant. she stomps over, and you suddenly feel an arm around your waist. you look through bleary eyes and see a pretty girl. oh! she must be here to save you.

she starts yelling at the guy, telling him that you're clearly not interested, and to avoid making any more of a scene, the guy grumbles and walks off.

"hey, you okay?" trinity asks, brows furrowed with concern. you nod, smiling a goofy smile at her because you're so wasted and she's sooooo pretty. you giggle and trinity chuckles. "yeah, you're probably not gonna remember any of this tomorrow, are you?"

and you don't really think anything of that comment, assuming she's talking about the shitty guy that she scared off.

ending up hanging out with her for a bit because she's being really nice to you and she's soooo funny and pretty <3 and she likes hearing your drunken giggles at all her really bad jokes.

you get up to go use the bathroom at some point, and trinity offers to come with you. "just wanna keep an eye on you, you're still pretty fucking hammered."

and you happily let her lead you to the little single stall bathroom. you're so out of it that you don't even question that trinity comes into the room with you. or that she's watching you very intently as you pee.

when you get up to wash your hands, you feel a warm body press against your back. you shudder, but trinity shushes you.

"it's okay, it's just me. god, you're so pretty like this..."

trinity's hands are all over you. she presses you against the counter. her soft lips kiss along your neck. teeth sink in. she's definitely left a bruise.

you don't know if you should fight it. it feels good. she feels good. but, it's wrong, isn't it? she's doing exactly what she saved you from...

but, as trinity's hand slips into your pants and you feel her fingers stroke through your wetness, any semblance of protest dies on your throat with a shuddered moan.

"you're lucky i'm the one who's doing this to you. that guy i yelled at would've just used this little fuckhole for his own pleasure. but me? i'm making you feel good, babygirl. you should thank me, yknow. for saving you."

"th-thank you.."

me: contemplating the details of their funeral, physically shaking and close to tears

the person: sitting around thinking about what they wanna eat for lunch