#((and steve))

THIS!! This is exactly what I’m saying. They don’t explore any of Toby’s fears of not being good enough, useful, or overall needed. And when they do bring it up? IT A JOKE! 😡

I highkey got carried away with this one oops

Scoops Steve n theater Jonathan!!

I wrote this to be no upside down au but it’s not really plot-relevant.

(In this, Will does actually go missing, but he is actually kidnapped by Lonnie. Nothing involving SA, etc- just to try and “fix” another one of his kids. Make him a real man)

also- pov switch mid fic!!

———————————————————————-

STEVE

Another day, another ice cream cone. Lines of kids, (cotton candy, cookies and cream), and adults,(cherry garcia , pistachio), alike.

It’s kind of soul killing. When he thinks of his younger self- Jesus- he would hate me now- it feels like he’s staring at a stranger. More of a memory than a person.  

Then again, his younger self was an asshole. He pretty much starts off every day regretting all the shit that came out of his mouth for what’s the better half of his life. 

And then he steps into the stupid sailor uniform, and great- clearly god’s sending him some way to repent.

It’s not all bad, though. His coworker; Robin, is decent to talk to. A band kid- eugh- but almost cool? For a nerd, at least. She always puts him in his place if he says something fucked up; and he tends to think, for a second, of Jonathan. 

Besides Robin, he gets to see the kids pretty often. Not because they’re actually buying anything, which isn’t great for business, but so they can sneak through the back door to the inner maze of the mall. Sometimes it’s to look for storage, but usually, it’s to get to the movie theater. It’s also the only time he has to face him.

They have a shared agreement, Jonathan and Steve; they both help the kids- and nothing else. After they found out about the older boys working at the two prime spots for sneaking around, they wouldn’t shut up about it.

It took Steve about a day to cave, but Jonathan clearly has a stronger will than him, because he lasted a whole week.

But he has a soft spot for his siblings, and when they both look at him with those watery eyes, he’s gonna give in 90% of the time.

And so, about once per day, they lead the kids back and forth through the hallways, trying desperately to avoid eye contact. 

Steve gets why Jonathan doesn’t like him. He really does; considering he shares the same reasons for why he doesn’t like himself. But Jonathan never accepts his apologies, and quite frankly, Steve wishes he could yell at him to, “Just get over it already!” 

Besides, it’s not like Steve doesn’t have reasons to be angry either. I mean, he stole his girlfriend. And really, Nancy? This guy? 

But fine. Steve’s eighteen now. He can be mature. And, whatever, it’s not like they ever have to be in the same place alone. At least, they shouldn’t have to be in the same place alone. 

But when the kids spill an extra large soda- apparently they all had to share one for the sake of money; which is dumb in the first place- in the middle of of the worker-only hallways; of course Jonathan would volunteer to clean it up so everyone would get home before dark. Because he’s infuriatingly nice. Robin calls them Steve’s children, but he feels more like an uncle who visits every few months. Jonathan’s the real parent.

And wow, Steve would be a real jerk if he just left Jonathan alone. So he stays. No matter how much he doesn’t want to. No matter how much Jonathan doesn’t want him to.

“I told you- you don’t have to be here. I could handle this on my own.”

And Jesus, the guy can’t even be nice when Steve does him a favor. Fuck, he was trying to be civil, but yknow what? Screw that.

“God forbid I help you out. Yknow Byers, I really keep trying to make it up to you. But all you do is shut me down- what the fuck do you want?! Did you like it better when I was an asshole?”

It’s a little too honest; too desperate. Jonathan doesn’t seem to catch it. He just stares back, silently fuming. Steve expects something, anything like that day in the alley. He almost wants it. That exhilaration.

But Jonathan just takes a deep breath and looks away. Steve’s used to being shunned at this point. Nobody really wants to hang out with the local disappointment who peaked in high school. But Jonathan? He knows- he really should’ve expected it. Always too mature. 

He thinks, for a moment, that the silence stings more than his fists.

And now Steve’s the one who has to make the decision. Do I suck it up, accept the situation, and give up? Or do I push a little further, just to see if I can win?

And he knows which option he’s gonna pick before his better judgement kicks in.

But an insult feels wrong. A push too far- and what if he actually hurts him?

So he goes for the next best option.

“Okay then. Taking your silence as a yes. Considering I’m not even worth talking to, in your opinion- bet you just see me as the washed up loser that everyone else does-“

“No I don’t.”

It’s practically a whisper, but enough for Steve to stop his self-deprecating rant.

“What?”

So Jonathan repeats. A little louder; angrier.

“No I don’t Steve. That may be what you would think about someone else in your situation- it may be what you think about yourself; but it’s not what I think, because I’m not a dickhead.”

“Then what do you think about me- why do you never talk to me-“

“Because I don’t want to; Steve!”

Now he gets loud.

“Have you ever, ever thought of my perspective on this? The guy who tormented me for years is now trying to be all close to me? And normally; I could just ignore it- but I can’t because for some reason my kid brother and all his friends love you now. The same kid you said ended up dead for a reason. And now you drive them around, and the only thing I’m good for anymore is putting food on the table.

And fucking worst of all- you never apologized to me.” 

And Steve defends himself. Defends himself because it’s easier than acknowledging the pain in Jonathan’s voice. How he sounds more frustrated with himself than Steve. How similar his rant feels to Steve’s own thoughts.

“Hey- I did apologize to you, fuck- now you’re just lying-“

“No you didn’t- Maybe you came over to apologize, and maybe you couldn’t because of my asshole dad- but you never did. You never brought it up again, never tried to talk to me unless if you were bored.”

He thinks for a bit. And oh shit- Jonathan is right. He never did apologize. Not really. Not to his face.

And he could deny the truth. He wants to. But when he’s around Jonathan, he never seems to get what he wants anyway.

“Fine. I’m sorry. I really am dude. I was jealous, and being a fucking idiot. You took that photo of Nancy, which is still fucking weird- but I shouldn’t have broken your camera. And then when I saw you with her- I was mad- stupidly. I said and did a lot of fucked up shit. And you’re a good person. And it pisses me off. Because I want to be like you- I don’t want to die and have nobody come to my funeral.”

He rushes the words, and his annoyed tone isn’t masking how earnest he is as much as he’d like to.

But Jonathan- Jonathan is shocked. Silent. Dark brown eyes wide open, he sort of looks like a cat. 

“Oh.” He whispers. 

Steve can feel his face heating up as they both kneel in the mostly cleaned up soda spill. He’d be embarrassed by how red he probably is, but Jonathan still isn’t looking at him.

And then,

“Thanks. I’m- I’m sorry too.”

Now that’s surprising. 

They clean up the rest of the soda in silence. It’s awkward; not hostile like before, but somehow still worse. He can practically hear his heart beating out of his chest. Every time their fingers brush Steve wants to jump out of his skin. And Jonathan keeps making a funny little squeaking noise, so he probably feels the same.  

It doesn’t take too much longer to finish after that. They get out to the main body of the mall, dark and quiet-

Dark?

Steve rushes to the exit, to find-

“Fuck. They locked us in.”

Jonathan glares at him, and Steve can’t blame him. It is mostly his fault. 

Then he sighs. 

“Well. At least the security cameras are off at night. They only focus on the outer doors.”

“Byers. What does that have to do with anything.”

“Well we’re in an empty mall, with the keys to access just about any shop.”

“So?”

“Oh my god- do you wanna go drink with me in a bathroom.”

————————————————————————

JONATHAN 

It’s funny how fast things can change. If you had asked him- hell- this morning, the concept of him drinking with Steve Harrington, (not even considering the mall bathroom part), would’ve made him gag. 

But now- he was almost enjoying himself. 

And he doesn’t even like drinking.

Just being drunk.

It’s not something he does often. He doesn’t let himself do it often. Too much like Lonnie.

And he never drinks with other people around. He doesn’t think he’d be violent, not really; but there’s always that underlying fear.

And he always, always hates himself after. But Steve won’t be there to see that part.

So he focuses on the present. Drinks some shitty vodka with an artificial cherry flavor. Something his dad would never touch. At least now, if he says something he shouldn’t- he can push the blame away from himself. 

Steve is rambling about high school. Nancy. And how he’s not mad at Jonathan for stealing her. What?

“Steve. You know I’m not dating Nancy, right?”

“What?”

“I mean, first off, the concept of anybody “stealing” Nancy Wheeler is insane. She’d kill them first.”

“You’re not wrong- but-“

“Besides. You know that I’m- like the whole town knows.”

“Knows what?”

“That I’m- that I’m queer Steve. You said it yourself. Remember? The thing you’ve been saying about me for years?”

And that really seems to have snapped Steve out of whatever haze he was in.

“Uh. No. No you’re not.”

“Uh- yes I am. Why are you surprised? I thought you-“ 

Oh. He doesn’t know.

Didn’t know.

Fuck.

Steve isn’t immediately killing him. So that’s good. But he still ties his shoes, ready to run. Grips the bottle like a weapon; he’s done it before. 

“Steve? You okay?”

“I- I thought it was just a thing me and my friends made up. You were so quiet- and you didn’t play any sports-“

“Sports don’t make you straight, Steve.”

Steve pauses. Then blushes, eyes wide.

“So- was it me? That you were taking pictures of that night?”

Now it’s his turn to flush. Jonathan knows the answer is no. It actually is. He has to remind himself of that. But it seems like being a pervert is more socially acceptable than whatever his thing is. Then again, maybe not, considering he’s a faggot.

“No. Not really- it was-“

He pauses for a breath. He’s never really explained it before. His pictures.

“I’m not- I’m not a social person. Never have been. You know that. But it’s not that I don’t want to. I mean- it’s not like I didn’t have friends my whole life by choice. I just- can’t talk to people. I don’t understand them. And they don’t understand me. It’s like there are all these rules for relationships and everyone knows them but me. Photos- it’s like they help me understand- almost. It’s still fucked up. You’re right. You had every right to smash my camera. But I wasn’t lying- I really just thought it was a good picture.”

Steve is silent. And Jonathan knows silence. It comes before the glass breaks; before the first  punch. And so he stands up.

“Fuck, fuck- I’m sorry- I- sorry.”

But Steve just pulls him back down.

“No- man, it’s- I kinda get it.”

“You’re kidding. “King Steve?” Really.”

He laughs, feebly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Always hated that nickname. But yeah. I don’t know people. Not really. I was just as weird and quiet as you in elementary. I just got away with it cause my parents have money-“

“-Dickhead-“

“That’s not what I meant. I mean- I don’t get the rules either. I know them, by now. I’ve spent most of my life copying them. But it’s not like they make sense. I mean; isn’t it weird that when people say “how was your day,” they don’t really want to know your answer? They just want you to ask it back.”

Maybe Steve does get it.

Full of surprises, Harrington.

And then he pauses. Speaks again; more nervous. 

“So yeah. I get the camera thing. Maybe I always kinda did. I mean, I got you the new one.”

And then,

“I think I might’ve picked on you because I was scared. Thought I could push it on you- cause we were so different, yknow? Like it would remove it from myself.”

“Remove what?”

“Jon-“

Oh. 

Oh.

The first thing Jonathan thinks is that wow, Steve must be drunk. Really drunk. 

But when he looks at the bottle of whiskey by his side; it’s barely touched. 

And before he can think of a response; hell, before he can even think of what to think- 

Steve is kissing him. And Jonathan thinks that the stories were wrong. 

Steve isn’t fast. Or rough. There’s no lust behind it; no longing for something more. 

It’s soft, and chaste. His lips are warm, and so are his hands- tilting Jonathan’s face up to meet his.

And as soon as it started, it’s over; Steve pushing him away. Standing up- muttering something about finding a way out, never talking about this again.

Crying.

And he looks so pretty, eyes glassy; styled hair  falling soft. And as badly as Jonathan would like to kiss him again; he knows it’s not what Steve really needs.

He pulls him into an embrace. Whispers something comforting, something he had planned to say to Will someday- but there’s nothing wrong with practice. 

And Steve sinks into it, saying thank you into the crook of Jonathan’s neck. 

They pull away, a few minutes later. 

They don’t talk about it after that. 

They wander the mall, until they fall asleep in the back of the ice cream shop. 

It’s peaceful. Steve and Jonathan have never been peaceful. It’s weird; but not unpleasant.

Not until Robin wakes them up at six the next morning, singing,