In Love
Tears streaming down my cheeks and as much as I try to make them stop, it pushes through like a broken dam. I hear your shallow breathing and my heart breaks along with yours. I want to take back the cruel words that spilled from my mouth but I can’t. I won’t because I can’t keep lying to myself anymore. I can’t keep thinking that it’s okay that you’re not in love with me.
“What difference does it make? I love you! Isn’t–isn’t that enough?”
Your voice reduced into a whisper but I haven’t heard anything more clear as if you are shouting in my face. I shook my head and I want to reach out to you, to hold you like before but I know you won’t let me. You moved back a couple of more steps like I’m repulsive. It hurts but I knew it would the moment I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you that what we have is a concept.
Being together with you is a wonderful fantasy. You’re a great person who takes care of me, selflessly and wonderfully but I can’t be selfless. I’m flawed and selfish. I want a earth shattering love where when I look into that person’s eyes. I want my breath to be taken away whenever I see that person and only that person can make me alive again. I want what you feel when you see her.
“It makes all the difference in the world.”
