#!journal

This post was brought to you by my friend’s dog being prescribed medical marijuana.

They started out as mere hallucinations. Reflections of my bloody career. They’re the dead. I shall leave the grisly details out. But now is a different story. I suspect that whatever experiment Father conjured had started to assimilate this imagery as it’s own identity. A formless entity had gained a form, and the mindless forms now gained a mind. I wonder this was part of its intended function? What does this mean for Zero? What does this mean for me?

I can only wish for his happiness now.The last time we talked, I thought we’ll be friends for years to come.Life had other plans.I know he’s alive somewhere. And I should be glad for that. This could be a blessing in disguise that I won’t put him in danger anymore.So I will smile for him. Even if my heart still needs time to adjust.

…They’re not exclusive to each other. May even be necessary. But until today Quick considered the new me to be a total stranger.I don’t blame him. I had changed to the point where I no longer recognize my own face in those old photographs.

Ugh. When was the last time I update this thing?And my neck is killing me. Again. And my shoulders too.Sigh.I’m reminded of Zero. How is he? Doing well in his job?Did anything change for the better?………………I wonder what would happen if he didn’t exist. If X’s life didn’t have his influence.My guess? A lonely life. Maybe he’ll have friends, but they never truly connect.Makes me wonder if it’s fate.

No words could express my gratefulness to Nurse Joy.And yet here I am, trying to write an entry.When I first planned the visit, I had expected it to be an apologetic session. Explain that I was made for combat and acted according to standard operating procedure.I ended up explaining so much more.Why?Her presence compelled me to confide. Perhaps I needed someone to listen without getting dragged into the mess. Someone who would understand and support in wishes.It’s strange isn’t it? The natural response was to expect held. To join arms and band together. But... The last time I let the cat out of the bag, I put my two best friends and my family in deep danger. They’re fine now, thankfully so.Knowledge of the future is a dangerous thing.